Rise of the Fourth Marauder

Chapter 2 - The Will to Crave

I trailed a few steps behind Lily and James as we progressed through the Hogwarts dungeons, feeling some relief for the first time that day. Hearing the two of them bicker derisively with one another had vaguely restored a sense of normalcy for me…and that was truly something to celebrate. The present, for me and my friends, was a bit of an oasis in light of the dark future that's quickly approaching. We needed to enjoy this as much as possible.

I took a few deep breaths, savoring them even in the musky dungeon air. My chest was no longer convulsing from nerves.

No matter what Dumbledore or I do to fix this, that darkness will always come, unless we're extremely lucky. It's just a question of how we handle that darkness when it gets here. The idea of handling something so dire filled me with an alien sense of Gryffindor excitement - that was something I wanted, I realized, to do something good for everyone. I don't think I'm content any longer to just sit on my arse and watch James and Sirius be the amazing heroes they are. I need to better myself, too.

You'll never amount to anything, you weak little slug, the rat in my head sneered.

Shut up, I thought back. I know it's not likely, but…

The day you can beat anyone in a duel, I'll promptly slit my own throat in astonishment. You're pathetic. Your dreams mean NOTHING. You will never achieve them.

I know he's somewhat right…but I still have to act. Even if I die. I can't let the future I saw come to pass without at least giving my all to stop it. And, no matter what…I will never betray my friends, like that future me did!

The three of us arrived in the Potions classroom, and I abruptly felt consumed by nerves once more. Everyone's eyes were on us (how I hated that feeling…I never wanted people to look at me, period!), and there were four tables in the center of the room, each draped with fine cloth the colors of our respective Houses.

This is it! I felt like whimpering, squealing…anything but brewing this potion, whatever it is, in front of this class of extremely judgmental students. I'm fine brewing when no one's watching, but…

Sirius grinned at our arrival with evident relief. "Oh, praise Morgan Le Fay's buxom buttocks! The Calvary arrives!"

Slughorn laughed merrily from his belly and ruffled Sirius's hair fondly. "Fascinating creativity with your swearing as usual, Mr. Black. The two of you are relieved from Potions duty, if you so choose!"

"Thank you, Professor," Alice said with a polite incline of the head as Sirius gave the walrus-sized professor an cuddly hug. My housemates cheerfully returned to their seats, and my body spiked with pain as Alice glanced at me and smiled. I didn't really care so much about her anymore, after seeing those visions, but damn…now that she's here, so close, her rejection burns even more painfully than before. I…I think I still love her…

Not like I needed more stress.

"And here we have the lovely, talented Miss Evans!" Slughorn cried in welcome as I followed her to the contest table. "I'm so pleased to have you with us today, young lady!"

"Have I ever not come, Professor?" Lily said innocently.

Sirius and James sniggered from behind, with James pointing out in an audible whisper, "It's funny cuz she said 'come.'"

"You've never missed class before, of course, so I was naturally quite concerned when you did not turn up! I had wondered if something dreadful had befallen you! Besides, this is your chance to prove yourself the best Potioneer of your year!" Slughorn coddled, chuckling and walking over to his desk, completely ignoring that I existed at all.

As I situated myself on Lily's right, already sweating like a pig, I looked with vague interest at Severus Snape, who had, rather inexplicably, played a major role in my vision of the future. Was he indeed in love with Lily? I mean, I knew he fancied her, like in a lustful, wank-happy way, but what did he truly feel for her, right this instant?

He was dripping with the usual facial grease, and looked much more unkempt than I did (which is quite a significant achievement), but he was looking, brows furrowed, at Lily. Normally, the kid looked furious at all times, but now he just looked just vaguely perturbed. I wondered if he always seemed more at peace when Lily was in the room. I'd have to watch him more carefully from now on.

"Now children," Slughorn began with a clearing of his throat, "today the eight of you elite brewers, representing all four Houses, will make use of your plentiful wits and skill to concoct an elaborate potion that is several years ahead of you in skill. I have faith that you all have the potential to do it, however!" He grinned most broadly at Severus and Lily. "The partnership that brews the best vial of Babelmind Elixir will get to keep the potion and win this plaque!" He lifted a prepared certificate which lauded the unmarked name as a Honorary Potion Master. "Which you'll be able to use to further your respective illustrious career! This plaque will catch the eye of many an employer, once you graduate, oho, yes it will - as it shows that you have smarts, dedication, ambition, and great talent!" He beamed, running a hand through his moustache. "Of course, you'll also earn a permanent placing on my humble mural of honor, such as it is."

"Now," he said, drawing himself up again and beckoning to the rest of the class behind us, "let's get all you spectators involved, shall we? Oho! Do any of you know the function of the Babelmind Elixir? Ah yes, good, Mr. Wilkes. Inform us, please."

The Slytherin wrinkled his nose and said, "Babelmind lets you understand any language, Professor. It allows wizards to speak to Merpeople, Dementors, Elementals…and human languages, too."

"Fantastic, Mr. Wilkes! 10 points to Slytherin!" Slughorn crowed. Snape and Wilkes smirked at each other in celebration. "Now then, this potion is very tricky, but, fortunately, only takes an hour to brew, which is perfect for our time constraints. Contestants; please bring out your textbooks and turn to page 597." I did so with my quite sweaty hands, scowling when I saw that it was a post-NEWT level potion. No wonder Slughorn would give us such a big certificate if we could do it! I shared a troubled look with Lily.

"And, as everyone seems all set, you may begin brewing…now!" Slughorn cried.

This was it! My brain screeched as time slowed to a momentary halt. It all came together - if I can make this potion…using my already natural proficiency for potion work…then that means I can focus and better myself in other areas, thus achieving great things overall! If I can make this potion, then it means I DO have the ability to achieve beyond my scope!

I HAVE to make this potion, to prove myself a new Peter.

My focus locked into place as Lily and I set forth to gather the ingredients. She took the lead as usual, saying, "I'll fetch the Honeybark and Eavenfaere, you get the other starting ingredients."

"No problem," I said her with absolute confidence that sounded weird coming from my lips. I shivered as I remembered everyone in the room was watching my fat, pathetic self, but then reminded myself that, in my mind, the only people that existed here were my dear friend Lily and I. We could do this! I fetched a spotted newt and seven azure tulips, along with some bamboo and quicksand.

I brought everything back to our table and began preparing the bamboo and tulips as Lily stirred the Eavenfaere. The quicksand adding procedure seemed quite difficult, judging from the instructions. "Lily, do you think it would be best if I helped with the quicksand?" I asked her.

She nodded curtly, her face the picture of beautiful intensity. After she finished stirring, she handed the reins to me and swirled the vial of quicksand in tiny circles. The resulting force, naturally, made her supple breasts actively jiggle around. Also naturally, I couldn't help but sneak a peek at those beautiful breasts out of habit, although I immediately felt guilty for doing so.

We signaled one another with our eyes and Lily tilted the vial and sprinkled the quicksand very daintily into the cauldron in a counterclockwise spiral. Meanwhile, I violently churned the potion in a clockwise direction, as the instructions called for a precisely opposite level of energy between the potion's movement and the quicksand's insertion.

"It says, 'A proper quicksand fusion should result in a flash of light,'" I said in a steely voice, but, before the words left my mouth, a burst of bright, contained violet energy simmered from the potion.

"Oho! Most excellent, Miss Evans! It seems the Gryffindors are plowing ahead, other Houses! You may consider stepping up your respective paces!" Slughorn sang, nearly choking on his enthusiasm.

"Quickly, add the tulips," I reminded Lily needlessly (she gave me a look telling me as much) as I peered around at our competition. Snape leaned over his potions even further in intensity whilst shooting his unfortunate partner blameful looks. Amelia Bones of Hufflepuff stared anxiously at her partner, clearly running into some problems at the moment. Elias Zabini and mad genius Xeno Lovegood of Ravenclaw merely looked supremely unfazed by anything going on at all.

We continued brewing for some time, everything going astonishingly smoothly…until my Marauder brothers eventually came up to review our handiwork.

"Keep up the good work, Wormy," James said warmly, poking his head between Lily and I's. "We thought we'd lend you our support!"

"James," I warned, not wanting him to screw up my concentration.

"Piss off," Lily growled at him. "If you'd be so kind, of course."

"James will indeed leave if YOU piss on him, I'm sure, my dear Lily," Sirius said with an obscene grin. "He'll be in bed for a week after – GAH!" James promptly punched him in the face while I stomped on his foot. "OW, MOTHER of -"

"Lily's correct," I said shortly. "I need to concentrate."

"Are you suggesting we're distracting? All we're doing is admiring your work with the holy sludge of doom there," James beamed.

"Babelmind Elixir," Lily grated out, sounding on the brink of murderous insanity. "Now, do you want to be castrated?"

"Why hullo there, Lily," James smiled, as if he'd just noticed her. "I must say I really admire the way your robe accentuates every inch of your body! It's a nice one."

Her face flushed red, although it seemed to me to be out of pure hatred rather than bashful embarrassment.

"Why…you…"

"Don't be mad, dear Lily," Sirius chuckled. "I never actually realized how alluringly your posterior twists when you walk, until today!"

"DURO!" Snape suddenly roared, which transfigured Sirius's body entirely into stone. Silence reigned except for the stirring of four cauldrons. Lily stared at Snape with an unreadable expression in her eyes. Snape stood, seething at Sirius and James.

"You sniveling bastard!" James finally spat out gutturally.

"How dare you?" Snape growled. "After how you were just talking to her? How is that exemplary of Gryffindor honor?"

"I'll make you pay-"

"SILENCE!" Slughorn shouted, freezing the two rivals in place. "Mr. Potter, detention."

"WHAT?" James hissed incredulously, while Lily and Snape beamed.

"AND 20 points from Gryffindor," he said sternly. "Mr. Snape was wise to cast a spell that would not disrupt potion-brewing any further than you already had with Mr. Black. All are welcome to observe, but not to distract the potioneers. Now, carry Mr. Black's body to the infirmary, if you would be so kind."

James glowered for a bit before looking apologetically at Lily and me and struggling to drag Sirius's petrified self up the stairs, scraping through the stone floor as he went.

Slughorn smiled at Snape. "That was both quick thinking and honorable behavior, Mr. Snape, standing up for Miss Evans like that."

Snape blushed quite darkly and muttered, "It was nothing, Professor." He didn't meet Lily's eyes, which is unfortunate for him, because she was giving him a rather insanely pretty smile at the moment.

"Right then, carry on, all!" Slughorn announced, smiling again. I knew James and Sirius would not take this perceived injustice lying down…this meant trouble for Snape, and I'm sure he knew that as well. Normally, I'd have been thrilled to be at their side, torturing him, but I felt, surprisingly, that my heart was going out to the angry, greasy boy since my vision. I'm such a weirdo.

"Lily, I think it's about time for the brains," I told her, seeming to jolt her out of a daze.

"What?"

"The two pixie brains. It's time for that."

"Oh, you're right!" she gasped. "Hold on a moment." She went to Slughorn's desk and fetched one of his prepared jars.

She and I were supposed to hold the brains cortex against cortex and lower them into the swirling muck of the potion together. I didn't think I'd have a problem with dealing with the brains, as they'd never fazed me before, but…

Today, looking at the gore in the jar, all I could see was James's, Snape's, and that mysterious white-haired girl's bodies exploding as I saw in my visions. My hands and, bloody hell, my entire body all shook with potent, uncontrollable anguish.

What's wrong with you, Pissface? The rat in my head demanded. Pull yourself together, you're brewing OUR future, here!

I whimpered, trying to get my focus back, trying to remember my goals, and what I was trying to brew this for…but I felt my self-confidence keep swirling down as I looked at the pixie brains. The descent and darkness seemed bottomless.

"Peter…you look sick. Are you okay?" Lily said, worriedly. (But not so worried that she saw fit to touch me in reassurance, I noticed)

"I'm…I-I-I-I…" I gasped, looking in horror at the brains as though they belonged to James. I just couldn't separate the two images! Fuck! "I can't…I-I…"

"It's alright, Peter, it's going to be alright," she cooed. "I can try to deal with the brains myself."

Praise Merlin she's so smart!

"Alice, could you…?" Lily said softly. My heart shuddered.

"Lily!" she hissed in warning.

"Now!" Lily hissed back.

"Fine…" My crush came up to the table, much to my dismay as Lily began the final procedure. I was so embarrassed at Alice's approach that I didn't even notice the sick feeling rising in my stomach.

"Come here, Peter," she said gently, sliding her fingers between my wet-with-sweat ones.

As I turned to look at her, I abruptly heaved, launching chunky, brown vomit all over her. On cue, the other three houses all burst forth with laughter.

Panic jolted throughout my mind. "Evanesco!" I hurriedly cast, wiping away all the vomit from Alice's beautiful body. "Alice, I'm SO…" I moaned.

She sent a death glare at me, backhanding me in the face (Snape howled with laughter here. So much for him being not so bad.). "How DARE you vomit on me?" she shrieked, looking at me with absolute loathing.

"I, I," I said, still feeling sick, but now also on the brink of pissing myself.

"Calm down, Alice," Mary commanded from her seat.

"You WORTHLESS…" Alice continued at me.

"CALM DOWN, I said!" Mary screamed over her.

Alice sent me one last look of utter hatred before I abruptly lost control of my bladder, shaking in place as I tried to stop the accursed urine from escaping me. The laughter only increased.

I…hate…everyone.

"It's done!" Lily announced brightly. "The potion's finished!" The laughter drowned out her voice, though, and I no longer cared about the results of our day's work, anyway. Feeling empty, impotent, and mentally shattered, I dragged my urine-soaked self out of the classroom, but not before nailing the floor with another helping of my vomit.

After cleaning myself up, I spent a long time in the dungeon bathroom, thinking nothing at all but aimless hate. Could I ever actually make ANY difference, when I'm this useless and pathetic? I loathe everything about myself. I can't stop seeing Alice, the girl I've always adored, giving me that AWFUL look in my head…and I don't even have any excuse. It's entirely my fault. It hurts me everywhere inside to even remember her looking at me like that.

Dammit…dammit…

What was I to do, now?

I sighed and got redressed, washing my hands as I did so. A large part of me felt that I owed it to everyone to share my vision with Dumbledore, but now…I didn't even know if I'd be able to pull THAT off, I'm so pathetic. And what do I care if everyone gets brutally murdered, anyway? They deserve it, for being so mean to me all the time…it's THEIR fault that I'm this pathetic! I had nothing to do with it! Damn them! Damn them all!

However…I also knew that all that was a lie…I truly did care for them, even if I didn't want to at the moment. So, without anything else to do, I took a deep breath and began my journey to the Headmaster's office.

"Well, well, if it isn't ickle Pissy Pettigrew?" Snape sneered as he walked past with his entourage of Wilkes and Rosier in tow.

I turned my head, abashed. I knew I couldn't hold a candle to any of them in power.

They stopped and turned to follow me as I went. "I always knew you'd be pathetic without the help of your inbred Marauder boyfriends," Snape sneered, "But you are well and truly a failure as a human being when you're alone, aren't you?"

"Fuck off, Snivellus."

"I wonder; does your mum hold your tiny dick while you pee every night?" Snape pondered aloud. I growled in anger.

"That WOULD require her to be still in school with him, though," Wilkes observed. "Which would explain a lot about where Pissy Pukergrew here inherited his stunning intellect."

"Indeed, well put!" Snape said, nodding seriously.

"Are you finished?" I growled out. "I have somewhere I need to be."

"That somewhere wouldn't happen to be the local Squib community center, now would it?"

I winced, but I couldn't do anything about it. Snape was just too powerful for me to take on my own. I'd have to just keep taking it.

"So, what cup size are you?" Rosier asked. "I'm sure you wear lingerie for the other Marauders every night, don't you?"

"Indeed. You might want to work on how your stomach sticks out further than your knockers, however," Snape advised me. "Most men find that to be very unattractive."

"I'll keep that in mind," I growled.

"Oh really? Hear that, boys?" Snape announced. "Peter really is trying to woo the male populace of Hogwarts! Run for the hills! Cover your crotches!"

I moaned pathetically as the three of them continued laughing at me. I was looking at the floor so morosely that I collided with Albus Dumbledore himself.

"Holy -!" I cried, jumping in place. "Sorry, Professor Dumbledore!"

"Young Mr. Pettigrew, a pleasure as always," Dumbledore said, smiling kindly down at me. "It's always good to see healthy socializing between the Gryffindors and the Slytherins. How very open-minded of you!"

"That's us, sir!" Wilkes said cheekily. "We're all about house unity here, Professor!"

"That pleases me to see," Dumbledore chuckled. "Now; where are you all off to, down this corridor, hmm?"

"We were just seeing Pettigrew off, Professor," Snape said slimily. "We'll be on our way now, if it's all the same to you. See you, Wormtail!" He told me with sneering superiority.

"Ahh, young rivalries. So droll!" Dumbledore grinned as he watched Snape and the others go.

"P-Professor Dumbledore, sir," I stammered nervously, looking in awe at the incredibly powerful sorcerer before me. "I-I w-w-wanted to talk to you about something, sir. If you're not too busy, that is."

"I was just going out for a tall glass of butterbeer – ohhhhh, how I love that frothy, bubbly goodness – but I do think I'll have time to chat with you, dear boy!"

"I-I-I don't want to interrupt…"

"Nonsense!" Dumbledore cried, putting an arm through mine and jovially stomping towards his office with me. "I don't hear from the students as much as I'd like, you know; it's always a treat for me!"

We ascended the spiral stair and arrived at his rather bizarrely-decorated room. "Now, my dear boy, before we begin, I'd just like to ask…lemon drop?" he said, offering one to me.

Figuring it could only help my post-vomit breath, I gladly took a handful, watching him anxiously.

"Now then, Mr. Pettigrew, how goes your Hogwarts education?"

I swallowed (being careful not to swallow the candy as well) before managing to ramble out, "It's going well…especially Potions…I seem to have a knack for that."

Dumbledore smiled. "Ahh, fantastic. The wizarding world can always use yet more skilled potioneers! Do you think you will work towards that as a possible future profession, then?"

I almost said yes, but suddenly realized that would be a good lead-in to what I wanted to talk with him about. "Actually, Professor…I'm not certain that there will be enough of a future to have a profession in."

"Ahh! My word. No doubt you're referring to the various reports of an up-and-coming Dark Lord?" Dumbledore queried, looking altogether unfazed by the idea.

"W-well sir…yes. I, um, I, um, I…" I sighed, trying to pull myself together for a massive unloading of my information, "I have had…a vision…"

Dumbledore's eyebrows nearly rose to his hairline. "A…prophetic vision, do you mean?"

I nodded sharply. "A being named Avaxeous," (here, Dumbledore paled and leaned back in his seat) "which I couldn't really see, but, I kind of…felt, everywhere...well, it told me I had the power to prevent great tragedy."

"It did?" Dumbledore asked incredulously.

I looked at him in irritation. Was he showing what he really thought of me with that response? Figures.

"Oh! Don't take my surprise the wrong way, dear boy," Dumbledore said, catching himself. "There are just several aspects to temporal mechanics that seem to run contrary to Avaxeous's statement."

"A-alright then," I said, not knowing how to take that, "it showed me several scenes, in excruciating detail. All of them were…horrific," I said, shivering. Vomit climbed unbidden up my throat again.

"And you believe these…visions…have to do with the Dark Lord who is currently on the rise?" Dumbledore asked me seriously. At my nod, he leaned back further in his chair and began considering. "Mr. Pettigrew, I wonder…have you ever heard of a Pensieve?"

"N-no, sir."

"A Pensieve is a shallow, stone basin that can be used to store memories that the user may wish to view and to study."

"So…you'd, like, be able to observe the memory, if you put it in there?"

"Precisely!" Dumbledore grinned. "Now; would you permit me to view your visions through the use of this device? It may, forgive me for saying, be able to better relate the visions to me than you could by describing them to me. I'm sure they would be incredibly accurate descriptions, but…"

"Of course I don't mind," I smiled shyly. "I think that would save time."

"And I may be able to see details that you may not have noticed or seen as important," Dumbledore continued.

"You have my absolute permission, sir."

"Fantastic! Now, do as I tell you…"

After quite a while of watching Dumbledore having his face plunged into the Pensieve (during which I entertained an inexplicable desire to run up and spank him on the bum for absolutely no reason), he emerged, looking grey with worry and concern.

"D-did it work?" I asked, making sure I was able to extract my memory correctly.

"Yes, of course," he sighed, sitting across from me, taking off his glasses, and rubbing his eyes wearily.

I watched him with trepidation, worried about many things. Especially his reaction to the vision of my betrayal of my friends. He could destroy me in an instant, after all.

"Um…what…what did you think of them?" I asked.

Dumbledore sighed again. "Truly terrible visions, my boy. You were correct. Things are much more dire in the future than I'd expected. It's very sad, indeed."

"But…we…CAN do something, can't we? To make it slightly less awful?"

"No." He said, not moving a muscle, staring at a spot on his desk.

Time seemed to freeze for a moment.

"Um…come again?" I asked worriedly.

"We neither can, nor will do anything that we would not ordinarily do, I'm afraid."

Silence hung in the room.

Something suddenly snapped inside me. "WHAT?" I screamed morosely.

"Mr. Pettigrew, you must understand – I would very much LIKE to change the future you have seen,"

"So change it!"

"I can't, Mr. Pettigrew! The future is written in stone!" Dumbledore snapped.

"You must be joking!" I couldn't believe this.

"Do I LOOK like I'm joking, Mr. Pettigrew?" Dumbledore shouted, standing up. The room seemed to darken with thick magic as he glowered at me with those magic-infused eyes. "I wish we could change it, likely much more than you!"

I wanted to retort, but somehow couldn't find the voice to do so while he looked so incredibly threatening.

"But I have experience with these matters, and they are NOT something that can be brushed aside. Visions that seers have, in every case, are not glimpses of a mere possible future. What Avaxeous has shown you is a glimpse into fate itself!"

He proceeded to stroll around his desk tapping his various mechanical instruments as he walked past them. "Fate works somewhat like a water-filtering station."

"A what?"

"A…" he sighed. "In the muggle world, in order to purify water so it is drinkable, it flows through tubes leading to a filter, leading to a pool, leading to another filter, leading to another pool, and so on. In matters of Seeing, what a seer glimpses is something that fate has established as a filter that events in the future MUST travel through. What isn't foreseen by seers CAN be changed, Mr. Pettigrew – such blocks of time would be like the pools of water, swirling around freely. But, eventually, the water must pass through that filter, and it WILL occur, in some shape or another."

He looked at me seriously. "Thus, what you have seen are filters through which the water of time MUST flow, unfortunately. I personally hate fate for being like this, but it is what it is – there is NOTHING that you can change about what you have seen."

He sat down and waited for my response.

"I…how can you be sure? Where's the proof?"

Dumbledore sighed. "Mr. Pettigrew, four times in my life, I have been visited by the same spirit that visited you. The first three times, I did my very best to do whatever it took to change what I had foreseen from happening, even turning to Dark Magic for a time."

I nodded, spellbound.

"But even my most desperate acts couldn't stop those visions from occurring," Dumbledore said, his face twitching with grief. "I just made things worse by going to the lengths I did to keep them from happening. The fourth time, I just went along with my life and allowed fate to occur, and, even though it was tragic, I lost much less than I might have by trying once again to combat it.

"So, believe me, my boy, when I say that I know what you're going through. The desperation, the constant horror, the drive to want to do anything, everything but what you have foreseen…but I'm afraid that your path has been locked in."

"No."

Dumbledore wiped his brow, "Peter…"

"I don't believe you," I said firmly, standing up and glowering at him. "You…you have the POWER to stop these things, Professor! You're the most powerful wizard since the bloody Founders! DO something!"

"Peter, it may seem like wisdom now, to act, but there is no hope."

"You're right, there isn't! Not if you act like that!" I snarled. "Do you really want the Dark Lord to walk all over us? Why not hunt him down right now and kill him?"

Dumbledore shrugged. "I suppose he just must be more powerful than I."

"Shit! Dammit!" I cursed, pacing around the room and fuming. I had rarely been more angry in my life than I felt right now. I truly was completely alone in this world. "I'm going to stop your bloody fate from happening, Dumbledore…"

"You can't…"

"OR DIE TRYING!" I screamed.

Dumbledore sighed. "I can't stop you, of course. I'm just giving you helpful advice."

"Oh yeah, helpful advice that will wind up landing me in a group of murderers, betraying my friends, and being killed by own silver hand! Yeah, that's REALLY good advice, Dumbledore!"

"Professor Dumbledore, if you please, Mr. Pettigrew."

I rolled my eyes.

"Listen here, Peter, I don't mind you attempting to change fate, no matter how futile it will be, but promise me one thing."

I sighed. "What is it, Professor?"

"That you won't turn to Dark Magic to further your goals."

"Of COURSE I won't, Professor!" I said, exasperatedly. "I'd think that would go against my goal of not becoming a Death Eater, wouldn't you think?"

"Then you are free to do as you wish," the Professor said with a wry smile

"Do you…d'you think you could help me become more powerful, Professor?"

Dumbledore yawned. "I believe your Defense Professor is more than capable of that task, Mr. Pettigrew."

"I…I…" Something occurred to me. "Wait, if you didn't want to lift a finger to help, no matter what my visions are, then why did you want to see them in the Pensieve in the first place?"

"Strategy," he said simply, before elaborating, "Time flows in pools of choice and filters of fate both, my boy. There's no stopping us from changing events that occur between your visions, you know. There are innumerable conclusions we can draw from the visions that you've seen."

"Professor," I said, something else occurring to me. "What's stopping me from killing myself right now? The events will no longer happen as they do, then! Who knows if they'll be BETTER or not, but it will at least be different, yes?

"Theoretically, yes, of course they WOULD be different, Mr. Pettigrew," Dumbledore said. "But, since we have glimpsed the future, and we know that you will be alive in it, therefore, for whatever reason, we know that you will not be able to kill yourself at this present time."

I had much more than half a mind to slit my own wrists just to spite him. But he was correct, I had to admit…even though I do despise myself enough to kill myself…I'm not going to sit back and let all those people die, when I'm the only one willing attempt to prevent those deaths!

Snape, though…I wouldn't mind killing him. That would change fate, right? However, the odds aren't good that I could best him in a duel.

…dammit.

"I…I'll change fate somehow, PROFESSOR Dumbledore, just you wait!" I said with burning rage. "Who's to say those four visions came true just for you? Maybe others CAN change their fate, and you were just unlucky!"

"Mr. Pettigrew, it is a very well-researched subject."

"I don't care! I'll find a way. I'll be the first to prove that you can change fate. Somehow…someday…I'll do it!" I vowed. "I swear it!"

Dumbledore looked incredibly relaxed and settled for smiling at me grandfatherly.

"Professor…I must admit I'm gravely disappointed with you," I told him, hollowly, allowing my rat personality to take over my words. "A true wizard would do his best to stop such evils from coming true, even knowing the fate that awaited him."

"I'm sorry to have disappointed you, my boy. You have my word that I will do my best to hunt down and destroy this Dark Lord, however, as that is something I would do regardless of the future we have seen together."

I stomped up to his face and sneered at him, feeling quite Slytherin in my disdain for him at the moment. "You're explaining yourself away with logic, Professor, but, do you want to know the real reason for you not trying to keep these things from happening?"

"Do enlighten me, my boy."

"You're a coward. You're afraid of being disappointed again. You'd rather everyone else experience pain while you just sit back and say 'I bloody told you so…' instead of you actually, Merlin forbid, having to feel disappointment again. You make me sick."

"And you, Mr. Pettigrew, should prepare yourself for bigger disappointment than any normal person will ever feel, when you fail to change a single thing that you've seen," Dumbledore said softly. "One day, you'll understand why I'm like this."

"I understand it perfectly, Professor," I said. "But that doesn't make you any less WRONG to let these people die like this."

Dumbledore shrugged. "You may have whatever opinion you wish of either me or of fate. It matters not, to me. I know I'm correct, and you will, too, in time."

"You should be ashamed to be a Gryffindor," I sneered.

As he just smiled gently up at me, I felt another wave of nausea and stalked from the room.

It took about two hours before my heart stopped pounding. I was so angry…so bloody furious…that I said things to Professor Dumbledore that I'd never even THINK of saying to ANYONE! What the bloody hell was wrong with me?

I moaned and slammed my head on the desk. Now even more directionless than before, I found myself sulking in the library, alone. The Marauders and Lily both tried to come up and console me, but I'd purposely avoided them, wanting to be alone for a long time.

I wasn't just feeling pathetic, however…I felt a roaring fire within me, a desire to prove Dumbledore wrong! I would show him exactly why the Sorting Hat put me in Gryffindor!

Grinning manically, I stood up and looked to the Restricted Section. Dumbledore thinks the Dark Lord is more powerful than he, does he? DOES HE? I guess that means I'll have to outpower Dumbledore himself, then.

My new goal: to best Professor Dumbledore in a duel!

I'll have a few years to prepare, but it needs to be before the time of the first vision is here! After I know I'm powerful enough to take him, then I know I'll be powerful enough to murder the Dark Lord and stop all the killings he's responsible for! I'll like to see fate try to work THAT into its bloody filtering system and fatalistic nonsense.

However, I can't get into the Restricted Section without clearance from a teacher. Hmm…surely, if I was a Slytherin, I would be able to think up a plan to get one! However, I'm not, and I've never excelled at planning, so that wouldn't work.

Hmmmmm…perhaps I could get a powerful magical text from somewhere else…

Aha!

The Pettigrew family library! My family grimoire! If I tell dear old mum that I'm attempting to work on becoming the most powerful student in the school, there's no way in Hell her Slytherin ambition won't be able to take the bait! Perfect! And perhaps she'll have an idea for me to get into the Restricted Section.

Without hesitation, I took out a parchment and began writing on it with my shaking, manically sweaty hands.

A/N: Hooray! We're clipping along with the plot here! :D I hope you're all enjoying this! Only YOU, as the reader, can make this fic better! Tell me what you think is wrong with it, and I'll gladly incorporate changes, accordingly. Any input at all on where you'd like the story to go will be quite helpful as well.

Let me know what you think of my characterizations of Peter, Dumbles, and everyone. Do you have any ideas on how Peter might cheat fate? Do you have any opinions on the romance angle? Please feel free to comment on any or anything.

Just review, in general, and I'll update that much faster. :)