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A/N: I would like to thank everyone for their support... and as long as I keep getting reviews wanting more there will be more... here is another chapter... I hope you enjoy...
Elliot watched through the glass as they tried to save Olivia's life. He watched. And waited. And cried. He looked down and noticed that his shirt was covered in blood. Olivia's blood. He sobbed heavier.
"Detective Stabler?" Asked a woman in aqua colored scrubs also covered in blood.
"Yes that's me how is she?" Elliot said wiping his tears away.
"She is stable. For now. The bullet went straight through, in the process it clipped a nerve in her back."
"Is she going to be paralyzed?"
"At this moment it is hard to tell. We did our best to repair it. There was a brief moment where we thought we lost her. But we were able to resuscitate her. The other doctor is in there finishing up we are going to be moving her to ICU for a while to keep an eye on her."
"When can I see her?" Elliot cut in.
"When we are finished with the surgery we will keep her here until she is conscious to make sure that there are no complications. Then we will move her to ICU."
"When can I see her?" Elliot repeated more sternly this time.
"As soon as she is conscious. I will let you know. Then you can come in and see her," the doctor said calmly. "But I have to get back in there I will come and get you as soon as there is a change."
"Thank you." Elliot said turning back to the window. He saw Olivia lying on the operating table. Motionless. The doctors were tugging and stitching and wiping blood away.
Tears began to roll down his face. He wiped the teardrops away from his eyes. It was best if he just went and sat in the waiting room.
XXX
Four hours and 7 cups of bad coffee later a doctor walked up to Elliot.
"Detective?" She questioned.
"Yes." Elliot said standing.
"I'm Dr. Rockwell. I have some good news and I have some bad news."
Elliot's heart sank. Bad news? He thought to himself.
"Olivia is conscious. She is not paralyzed. But she will have to go through a lot of physical therapy. She will have to learn to walk again. Her nerves and her muscles are like new. They have no idea how to control the motions that her brain is sending them."
"Can I see her now?" Elliot asked anxious.
"Yes, but try to make it quick. She is very weak."
Elliot followed the doctor into the room.
When they walked in he saw her there. She looked nothing like the Olivia Benson he knew. She looked beaten. She looked abused. And most of all she looked defeated.
He just looked at her. She was sleeping.
"Is she ok?" he asked the doctor before walking over to her.
"She is fine we have her medicated for pain. She is just asleep right now. But you can come in and sit. I'm sure she would want that."
Elliot walked over and sat in the chair beside olivias bed. He closed the gap between them and grabbed her hand.
She opened her eyes and smiled at him. "hey," she said weakly.
"Liv I'm so sorry I should have been the one that went through that door not you."
"Elliot stop." she interrupted. "This is not your fault. Stop beating yourself up."
He smiled at her. "How do you feel?"
"Like I just got shot." She replied sarcastically.
"I meant are you in pain? Do you need anything?"
"I'm fine. I just want to forget today ever happened."
"I understand that. Do you want me to go so that you can get some rest?"
"No. I want you to stay."
"Ok that's all you had to say. I'm here for you Liv. I'm not going to go anywhere unless you want me to."
"Elliot stop you are blaming yourself again."
"Ok ill stop. You don't need to be upset."
"Thank you."
Elliot studied her. He looked in her chestnut eyes and searched. He was searching for answers. Answers to all the questions that were running through his head.
How do I confront her about what happened today? Should I drop it? I cant drop it! I was going to leave my wife. I still am going to leave my wife. I don't love Kathy and I would be fooling myself if I said I did. I love her but not the way I should. I should never even say the word divorce. And yet I have thought of it on my own. Is Olivia still going to take the job with the fbi? I hope not. I love her. I don't want to see her go. I want to talk to her about it. But I also don't want to upset her. If I upset her that could make her worse. She just got shot. She got shot and its all my fault. I should have been the one to take position and her stay in cover. I should not have let her do that. What was she thinking putting her gun down when there is a lunatic pointing one right at her. Was she wanting to be shot? Was she wanting me to come in sooner? I should have come in sooner. Then she wouldn't be laying here in this hospital bed. She wouldn't be in pain. She wouldn't be hurt. I caused this.
Olivia looked at Elliot and noticed he was lost in thought. "what are you thinking about?" she asked so quietly it was almost a whisper.
"Liv I don't want to upset you I think it would be best if we talked about this later. I really think you just need to rest and we can talk some more when you wake up. Ok?" Elliot said avoiding the question. He knew he couldn't lie to her. She always knew when he was lying to her.
"Ok. Your right I'm exhausted." she said turning her head from him. "Elliot," she said in a faint whisper.
"yea?"
"Don't leave Kathy," she started. "Don't leave your wife. I know you think that's what you want but you wouldn't have wanted it if I wouldn't have said something to you earlier. I'm sorry and I'm sorry that you are here right now instead of at home with your family. Please go ahead and go home to them. Go home to your wife. don't say you don't want to. Its ok. I know that you are a married man. I know that I was the one in the wrong today. I know that we should have never had that conversation. So like I said forget today ever happened."
"I cant forget it Olivia. I cant forget that you said you were leaving. I cant forget that you said that you were putting in your papers and going to work with someone else. Someone that is not me I cant forget that you said that you loved me. I cant forget that. Because I love you too. I don't want you to leave I don't want you to go work for the FBI and have some other partner and not me. I want you to be with me forever Olivia I want you to be with me and I want us to work. I want you to be mine. I want you to be with me. I want you to stay here and us be the unbeatable duo that we are. And we cant have that if you leave."
"I don't want you to leave your family Elliot. I don't want to be the reason for your divorce. I love you I do the fact that I actually told you should show that I do. I would have never in a million years have told you that if I wasn't leaving. I would love to stay but I cant. Once I am well again I will go and I will have to have a new partner. And who ever that may be they wont be you. They would never be you. I love you Elliot. But you are married and I only told you because I knew that if I left and I never told you then I would regret it for the rest of my life. And now I'm kinda regretting telling you. I don't want you to leave Kathy that was not the reason I told you. I told you so that I wouldn't leave and feel guilty for not telling you the reason that we worked so well was because I couldn't stand to let anything happen to you I would lay my life on the line to save yours. No questions asked. And there is nothing I want you to do about it. There is nothing about you that I would want to change. You love your wife Elliot I know that you do. I know that she is the world in your eyes. I know that. I don't want you to make a mistake by leaving her. That would just make you resent and I don't want that to happen. Look I really don't want to talk about this right now just know that I love you but Elliot we would never work out. We would never be able to be a couple just for the fact that I cant let you leave your wife. And your children. I cant let you do that to them. What would they think if you left Kathy to be with me. I would be the worst person in the world. And I don't like that they would feel that way. I could not live with myself if you left your life to be with me. And that is why I wont let you. I would never let you give up what you are all about Elliot. I love you but I'm not going to let you do this."
"It's not your choice Olivia."
"Please Elliot don't do this..."she said trying to adjust her self in the bed. But when she moved it sent sharp pains through her whole body.
"Don't move!" Elliot exclaimed. "Don't move baby. Ill call the doctor in."
"No! I don't want to be here any longer than I have to be. And if I keep asking them for help then I have to stay longer. I will never get better if I don't just suck it up and deal with the pain. I have dealt with pain my whole life what is a couple more months."
"Liv you have to take it easy."
"Elliot I cant take it easy I'm a cop. We have to get over it and move on. Things like this happen all the time. I cant just give in. I have to fight the pain. If I give in then he wins. And I refuse to let that happen."
"Liv I know that you are strong. I know that you are independent. But let me take care of you."
"Elliot you need to go home and take care of your wife." Olivia said matter-of-factly.
"I want to take care of you Olivia why are you making this so difficult?"
"Because Elliot. You are married. I told you that I love you and I do but I didn't say it so that you would leave your wife I said it so that I could sleep at night not regretting the fact that I didn't tell you. That was all. I had no intention of telling you for any other reason. I just wanted to tell you before I left."
"Liv I want to make something of this."
"Elliot there can never be anything between us. You are married."
"I can change that."
"No you cant Elliot because I wont let you."
"Why?"
"Because that is not who you are. You are a family man. And if you get divorced then you have no family and if you have no family then you are not you. Because without them you are a completely different person."
"But I can be that person with you."
"Elliot go. Go home to your wife."
"I'm not leaving."
"Don't make me call the nurse."
"Liv please." Elliot pleaded.
"Elliot you need to go home to your family."
"You are my partner. I want to be here for you," Elliot said.
"You can be here. If you want stay out in the waiting room because I'm done with this conversation. I just want to be left alone."
Elliot stood up out of the chair he was sitting in and started to walk towards the door. "Olivia I love you and I will not stop loving you. No matter what you say we will be together." he said with out turning to face her. He then walked out the door.
A/N: well there you have it she lives! Yay! I know that this chapter is a little short but this is just a spacer chapter more will come. And next Elliot talks to Kathy! what will be said? What will be the out come? only one way to find out... reviews keep the story going with out them the story stops sooooooo if you want more I need to know :)