A/N: So, dental torture was postponed on account of bullshit. I swear, the PTB get some sort of thrill out of making me embark on ridiculously long drives for no reason. Anyway, I channeled my frustration into another chapter for you lovelies. It's short, I know, but I hope you enjoy. And to the anon who was considering signing up for an FF account- Dooooooooooooooo it. Peer pressure, peer pressure, peer pressure. Fall to the darkside, we have cookies. We can't share the cookies 'cause, you know, internet, but know that the cookies are there.
"It's the apocalypse isn't it? 'The end is nye!', Zombies and hellfire?" Ruby slid Henry's hot chocolate across the bar with an old school saloon flourish and then leaned her whole front over the counter, the better to gossip. The little boy took the steaming mug in both hands, careful of the piping hot porcelain, and asked "What?"
Ruby raised her eyebrows and nodded over at the booth where the sheriff and the mayor were sitting across from each other talking. Emma was gesturing animatedly while Regina, well, scowled actually but it was less a glare of murderous intent and more good natured grumpiness. As if that in itself wasn't weird enough, Ruby wasn't entirely sure but from the snippets she'd picked up on they were deeply engrossed in the age old "Batman or Superman" debate. Emma chose that moment to throw her hands in the air with an emphatic "Laser beams!", making Ruby's point for her.
"That. They're just talking. And- and laughing. So when's the world gonna end, huh?"
"Oh. Yeah, they've been getting along." and Henry looked far more miserable than Ruby would have thought at that news. His mothers, they of the drawn out grudges and nasty right hooks, had somehow found some common ground. Surely that should make him happy?
"What's the matter? Don't you like having them both around?"
"Well, yeah. It's been really cool." Henry sighed. He couldn't exactly tell Ruby that he'd been waiting impatiently for a curse breaking kiss and that it was their lack of progress on the falling in love thing that had him frustrated. He'd seriously considered at one point coming up with some excuse to hang mistletoe everywhere but stopped himself because it would have been fruitless; Everything his book had told him led him to believe that the required kiss had to come from a place of love or it wouldn't work. So shoving them together and hoping for the best was out.
"It's just...I'd hoped... I wanted them to like each other. Like like."
It took Ruby a minute to grasp his inflection but when she did she let out a squeal that had Henry looking around to make sure his mothers hadn't heard. "Ruby!"
Luckily they were still engrossed in their conversation. It was just after the dinner rush and the diner was still crowded enough to create a den of noise that smothered the waitress's outburst.
"Sorry!" Ruby smiled apologetically and bounced on her toes, letting out another, quieter squeal. Then she said in a stage whisper, "You're trying to parent-trap them! That's so weird and adorable and... Does either of them even like girls?"
Henry shrugged. He hadn't even considered that, honestly. It was destiny, right? What did it matter if they were boys or girls or whatever? "I don't know. I think they like each other though. Or, you know, they would."
Ruby glanced over his shoulder at Emma, who had her head thrown back in laughter. Her mane of curls gleamed almost golden in the warm glow of the low hanging light over the shared booth and she looked about as happy as the waitress had ever seen her. As for Regina, she was dark and brooding and unreadable as ever but the fact that she was sitting there at all spoke volumes. There was definitely chemistry there. Explosive, nuclear chemistry. It could work.
"But they're stuck in the friend zone. Or the toleratance zone, I guess." She supplied, and Henry nodded.
"I got 'em spending time together but I'm out of ideas."
"Let me help! Oh please, please Henry let me help?" Because this was too fun to pass up on, an opportunity to help her much adored Sherif find some happiness and the Mayor to chill the fuck out and oh, wouldn't it just be scandalously delicious? Granny would just die. Along with half the town, probably.
Henry looked sceptical. He sipped at his now cooled cocoa, little brows knitting together as he considered her offer. "Okay. What are you thinking?"
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"Miss Swan, it is one thing to win because you've been handed perfection and invincibility without merit. It's quite another to win purely on your own skill and cunning."
Emma snorted. Of course Regina identified with Batman. Running around terrorizing people with smoke pellets and a batsuit was right up her alley.
She had to stop herself there, because the mental image created by putting Regina and batsuit in the same sentence was more than her brain could safely handle. Being noble and creating a meaningful connection wasn't going to last very long if she kept submitting herself to that line of torture. "Come on, he's all... Dark and emo and 'Vengeance!'. Superman helps people because it's the right thing to do."
"There's nothing wrong with a well deserved vendetta." Regina sipped at her coffee, leaving the rim of the mug stained red with lipstick. Emma grimaced; She still didn't understand how the other woman could stand the bitter flavor, undiluted by sugar or cream. She wondered absently if it was another case of simply never having tried anything different. The thought hatched a vague plan to ninja sweeten her beverage, if the opportunity presented itself.
"I don't buy that." Emma said, shaking herself out of her thoughts. "Revenge is never the answer. You just end up turning yourself into the badguy."
Regina's hands turned white knuckled, clasped too tightly around the coffee mug she still hadn't completely lowered back to the table top, and Emma could have kicked herself for somehow managing to step outside of the safe boundary of comic books. They had been doing so well. She scrambled for a way to salvage the moment, to keep the conversation from dissolving into a more personal argument.
"Sometimes revenge is all you have left." Regina said simply, with a tight smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Besides, you can't tell me Batman doesn't still manage to help people. He's not a bad guy."
No, not bad. Not evil. Just troubled, tortured even, by a loss he can't escape from. Maybe there was a deeper connection there, Emma realized. Maybe it wasn't about the gadgets and theatrics but the person beneath them, the wounded soul. "No, I guess he's not. Anyway, that glider thing's pretty cool."
Henry finally rejoined them, the hot chocolate he'd gone to fetch already half gone, and Emma frowned at him as he wriggled his way back onto the seat beside his mother. "What took so long, kid?"
"Uhhh... I was just talking to Ruby. About school." He grinned at her impishly and that feeling in her gut, her 'super power', tingled with the awareness that he wasn't being entirely honest. She quirked a brow, about to call him on it, but Regina ruffled his hair and said, "That's nice dear. Anyway, Miss Swan, you can't expect me to believe that a man that wears that outfit is entirely right in the head." and Emma was drawn back into their debate before the words could fully form themselves.
"Oh come on! Batman wears the same damned thing, it's just black."