And here's another update! I'm SOOOOO sorry I haven't had time to update. I've had a lot to deal with. I'll go into that more later! Here's the next chapter.

Chapter 5: Shape of My Heart

Punk paced back and forth behind the entranceway. He was nervous but determined at the same time. He was experiencing deja vu. He had felt this way before his TLC match with Jeff Hardy a few years before. That was when he killed his feelings for Jeff. Tonight in a normal match between him and John, the past would repeat itself. The Nexus stood quietly behind him. Even though they were not allowed to be ringside, they still insisted on following their leader to the ring. Suddenly, the theme that set his blood afire played throughout the arena.

"Show time."

Punk started to walk into the entrance way, his men's footsteps closely behind him. He stepped out from behind the curtain and into the WWE universe. This must have been a pro-John crowd because he was instantly it with a sea of boos and 'you suck'. He stood in the middle of the stage and just looked around. His men lined up behind him and stayed silent. Despite how they were backstage, they were disciplined when needed and if not, they knew the kind of pain that their leader could unleash on them.

He walked by each of his men slowly, testing to see if they would break their focus straight ahead. As he walked man to man, none of them did. They were focused on the ring that their leader would enter and show them the true meaning of faith. He turned towards that center point and started to walk towards it. As he entered the ring, he overheard Michael Cole talk about what he had done to his Nexus members the week before. Punk stood in the ring, looking towards the entrance way.

"I have to stay focused."

Punk started to slap his face, hoping that would help. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, as if millions of people were not watching him. He was attempting to calm himself and go to his happy place. Right now, he was Batman, about to take down Superman. He exhaled and slowly opened his olive eyes and looked at the empty entrance. A few moments passed and still no sign of John.

"Come on!"

Punk could only hope that he wouldn't show up. His hopes were not met. After a few more seconds, John's theme was playing throughout the arena. The crowd went crazy, especially the women and children. Punk heard John's voice in the song and tried to ignore it. Rap was never his favorite genre but he would be lying if he said this song in particular was not on his iPhone. Out from behind that curtain, came the object of his affection. John looked as happy as ever. And why wouldn't he be? He was back in the job that he loved. That he lived and breathed for. Not that Punk didn't feel the same; there was just something about that smile as he looked at the WWE Universe that wanted it more. With a skip and a jump, John charged the ring and slid into Punk's territory.

John gave him a look of seriousness and then did his traditional running of the ropes. Punk only saw half of it because he was too busy whipping his shirt off. He looked like an animal stalking his prey but the prey was too busy looking around. Punk felt his body involuntarily move forward. He wanted his hands on John now but the referee stood in his way. It was probably a good thing too. John continued to walk around, noting Punk's movements and his aggression. John removed his shirt as well and Punk couldn't help but feel something twitch, drowning out the sounds of women screaming. Punk gripped the ropes, consciously trying to keep his body from going forward.

"Must. Find. Way. To. Calm. Self."

Punk started doing lunges in the corner, his hands never leaving the ropes. He almost seemed to be running in place. John didn't seem bothered by it. He turned away from Punk and threw up his hands that signaled hustle, loyalty, and respect. Punk let go of the ropes and stood tall. This was it. He heard the bell ring, and readied himself for the hardest battle he had to face in a long time. Slowly, they started walking towards each other. John looked around at the WWE Universe as Punk drew closer. Slowly, his eyes were met by John's, as John continued to walk forward. Punk did the same, feeling as if he had 1,000lbs weights on his feet. Soon enough, they were inches from each other.

"You ready, Punk?"

"For what?"

"To get your ass handed to you."

Punk laughed.

"I see what you're doing. Trying to get in my head won't work on me."

"Good point. There's too much shit in the way."

Punk had had it with this stalling. Punk wound up and punched Cena right in the jaw. The Chicago Native smirked but it was cut short when the Bostonian came back even harder, landing numerous blows. Before Punk knew it, he was in a corner. A second later he felt his body being thrown across the ring, his back meeting another set of padded turnbuckles. Padded or not they still hurt. Punk let out a cry of pain. Suddenly, he felt his head being yanked and his face met the canvas. His hands instantly flew up to his face to hold his aching nose. Luckily, he didn't feel as if anything was broken.

Within a second, John tackled him to the ground and started hammering away. Punk tried to protect himself. John was like a lion unleashed from his cage. No mercy was given. Although he was trying to fight back, part of him was excited. He enjoyed a challenge. He started to roll away but John was right on top of him. Within a few seconds, his face met the turnbuckle. At this rate, he would have a broken nose by the end of the night. He looked up just in time to see (and feel) John's fist connect into his stomach.

"Fuck that hurt…"

And after the punch to the side of the head, Punk was cowering in the corner. John continued to stalk him, moving back and forth until another Punk connected with Punk's side. He collapsed in the corner, pain filled moans escaped Punk's mouth. He seemed to luck out because the referee pushed John back, allowing Punk time to try and tell his body not to give out on him already. Being the prey was something he was used to but for some reason, it was starting to turn him on when John man handled him. There was only one corner left that Punk hadn't touched and he knew he was destined for it. John picked him up and flung him across the ring once more. Punk's sternum crashed into the turnbuckle and he fell back, gripping his inked chest. He heard John's feet moving back and forth as he stalked him. Punk shook his head, trying to regain his bearings.

"What's wrong with me? Why am I letting myself get destroyed like this? I've never seen John act this way before."

His thoughts were broken up when John clubbed him over the back of his head once again. It was soon followed by another and another. It felt like he was back in grammar school when the children would beat him for being different. John wasn't like one of those kids but it still didn't keep Punk from feeling that way. He laid there on the ground holding his head. He had a headache and he doubted that it was going away any time soon.

The next thing he knew, John was pinning him. He may have been caught off guard but he wasn't going down that easy. He was able to kick out after the first count. It took more effort than it should have but he still managed to do it. Punk stumbled to his feet. He was forced to grab the closest set of ropes for the support he desperately needed. John was right on him and Punk went flying across the ring. It seemed only a second before he hit the other set of ropes and came back towards a bent over John. He may be sore but he wasn't stupid.

"Don't count me out so easily!"

Punk brought up his leg and kicked John across the chest. It took a lot out of him but at least he could force some space between John and himself. Punk fell to his knees and his eyes stated to cloud over. Everything started to blur together and he would go in and out of where he was in the match.

The match was severely messing with Punk's head and heart. He was suddenly dominating. Next thing he knew John's head was in between his legs (which was a severe misjudgment on his part, but his brain seemed to enjoy sending interesting messages to his groin). And then John was dominating again. And then again John's head was between his legs. No matter what Punk did, Cena wasn't giving up. Punk's mind was continuing to torture him. He wasn't sure what happened but suddenly, they were both on the ground. Punk's thoughts were all he had to hold onto. He had no idea how John had managed to kick out all those times, but he did.

"Why the fuck is this so difficult? I don't think I have any energy left…I need to put him to sleep! I need to get in control! Why am I losing sight of everything? I keep blacking out for Christ sake! Wait…what's that noise? Why is the crowd making those sounds when we are both down?"

His thoughts got their answers. He looked up to see John standing face to face with a man he did not recognize. His body leapt into action and he kicked John in the side of the head, both men falling to the ground. Punk's breathing got heavier. John was down and seemed to be staying that way because Punk knew how hard he had kicked. There was a lot of force in his small legs. Punk looked up into the eyes of the mystery man who was entering the ring. Punk couldn't help but smile and lick his lips as he made it to his feet.

"I don't know who you are…but I know what you want."

Punk opened his arms and waited to see what would happen. Within seconds, a very large boot crashed into his face. His face hit the mat hard and the Nexus leader let out a cry of pain.

"Didn't think that through…nope."

He heard his men run towards the ring and crowd around the man, attempting to help Punk to his feet and yelling at the mystery man. They were ready to beat the living hell out of him but Punk realized that that could not happen. "Wait, stop! Let him go! BACK UP!" Punk yelled, pushing clear a path for his eyes to see the man whose foot he just became acquainted with. As Punk was helped to his feet, he saw the man looking into his eyes. They exchanged glances for a while before the man slowly kneeled down in front of him, never breaking eye contact. The man gave Punk a smile and rose one of his arms. He waited for Punk to place an armband on his tan skin. Punk smiled that devilish smirk of his and pulled a Nexus armband from his kick pad. Still fighting to catch his breath, he slid the armband up the mystery man's arm.

Punk had gained another Nexus member. He didn't know who he was but frankly he didn't care. The fact that someone willingly came to him, proved themselves (even if it was by kicking him in the face), and was practically begging to be a follower of his proved one thing: he was a born leader. It had happened with the Straight Edge Society and now it was happening with Nexus. Punk smiled at the muscular man on his knees before him. But it was only temporary.

He looked past the man to see John on the walkway. He was holding his arm and staring right into Punk's eyes. His eyes narrowed into a glare when he confirmed the Straight Edge Savior was looking. Punk felt his smile leave his face and inadvertently took a small step back. John looked pissed. It finally hit Punk hard like the chairs off of Barrett's head. John thought it had been a set up.

"But I...I didn't..."

John was soon gone from sight, most likely headed back to his locker room. Punk remorsefully turned back to his team and faked a smile. He raised his arm in the typical Nexus pose as did his men. But inside, Punk was fighting with himself about what he should do.

Punk left the men in their locker room to meet and get to know the new member of the team. Apparently his name was Mason Ryan from FCW, but Punk didn't really care. He almost ran from the room to find John's locker room. Luckily, he only had to go through one travel agent to get his answer. He quickly made his way to John's room, grabbing the door handle. Momentarily, he froze. He could turn around right now and walk away. This is what he wanted. John would now be out of his way. He could forget about him.

"I have to set things straight..."

Punk twisted the knob and opened the door. At first, he thought the room was empty. Not a single noise could be heard as Punk scanned the room. But the sudden sight of a certain figure with a towel on his head caused him to jump.

"You know they have this magical thing called knocking. Otherwise it's considered very rude to barge into someone's room."

Punk averted his eyes from John. He probably should have knocked but his heart, brain, and body were all on different pages right now. "At least step in and close the door." John spat, tossing the towel in a nearby hamper. Punk did as he was told. John took a seat on the bench and started rustling through his bag of clothes. It was almost as if Punk didn't exist at the moment, or at least was not present. Punk just couldn't help but stare. He had no idea what to say.

"Why did I do this to myself? What was I thinking...or right, I didn't. Didn't I? Nope..."

"So what do you want?"

John's voice pulled Punk out of his thoughts. Punk gave John a dumbfounded look, causing John to turn away from him and continue pulling his shirt on. Punk mentally kicked himself and realized that he better start talking soon.

"I just…wanted to let you know that I had nothing to do with that guy attacking you."

"Bullshit."

Punk was taken aback by John's cursing. "Give me one reason I should believe you." John barked. "Because it's the truth! I really planned to face you one on one!" Punk explained, although it felt like pleading. "Yea right! You haven't done anything like that in the last fucking month. All you've done is make my life miserable. A living hell! And for no reason! What did I ever do to you?" John yelled. Punk said nothing, mainly because there was nothing he could say. Punk looked at the floor, like a child being scolded for having done something wrong. He thought he had made the right choices. He was wrong.

"There's nothing I can say. Other than apologizing…"

"I'm sorry."

Before Punk could even blink, John was across the room and had Punk pinned against the wall. The Bostonian's eyes were filled with rage.

"You're sorry? That's all you can say? You took my job away from me for a month! You attacked me numerous times. You join up with the group that tortured me for months before that! I don't get you! Why do you hate me so much?"

Now Punk was mad. If there was one thing he hated being accused of, it was being a liar. In one motion, Punk's hands came up between them and shoved John backwards – almost to the ground.

"That's not true! I don't hate you!"

"Then why aren't you man enough to face me?"

"Hey! I am man enough to face you!"

"Then what the hell is your problem?"

"Maybe I'm in love with you, alright?"

John's face dropped. Punk's hand rushed up to cover his mouth but he knew it was too late. In the heat of the moment, Punk had let out the one thing he fought so hard to keep in. The Chicago native felt his knees go weak. He leaned against the wall for support.

"No…why did I…"

He saw John turn around and place his hand on the back of his head. "You," Punk heard him start, "like me?" Punk didn't say anything. He wanted to play it off as a joke but there was no way John would believe that. If anything, it would look even more suspicious. All he could do was deflect his emotions with sarcasm and asshole like tendencies.

"Yea, yea, laugh it up! CM Punk is in love with John Cena."

Somehow, it felt a bit relieving to finally admit to it. He just never thought he would be saying it to John's face. John still refused to look at him. In fact, he had distanced himself and taken a seat on the bench. The two men were silent. Surprisingly, it was John who broke the silence.

"How long?"

"How long what?"

John patted the seat next to him as he spoke, "How long have you…liked me?" At first Punk's body didn't want to move but after John motioned again for Punk to take a seat next to him, the Chicago native gave in. He slowly lowered himself down next to John, who still refused to connect eyes with him.

"Guess there is no use in hiding it now."

Punk took a deep breath and started what could be his last conversation with John or in the WWE for that matter.

"About two months. It started off as nothing really. A passing thought at most. But slowly, it started to become more. I found myself constantly staring at you, just to see if we'd connect eyes. I'd watch you in the ring and wonder how it is that you do what you do. People hate you for no reason. Some boo you when you enter an arena. And yet, you smile. That smile that could cure every disease in the world with the warm feelings it spreads through people. You love what you do, no matter what. I found that attractive more than anything, even though I'm very intrigued by your exterior as well. But I knew we could never be. So…I had to force myself away from you. Even if that meant joining up with the people you hate more than anything. I really did want it to be just us tonight. To prove to myself I could handle it. But I guess…whatever his name is had other plans."

John said nothing. Silence enveloped the room once more. The cards were on the table, as well as Punk's guts. As the minutes passed, Punk found himself fighting back tears as he looked up at the ceiling. It was all over but it was slowly killing him as he waited for John to say something. It didn't matter how devastating it was going to be. It needed to happen and get it over with but for some reason, it didn't. He suddenly noticed John was standing.

"Here it comes."

But it didn't. John reached down and took his gym bag in his hand. Time seemed to slow down as Punk watched John hoist the bag over his shoulder and walk towards the door. Upon reaching the handle, he stopped. He turned slightly and looked back into Punk's moist eyes. It was only for a few seconds, and then he turned away.

Out the door. Out of Punk's sight. Only leaving a man with tears slowly falling down his face.

AWWW Poor Punk! Don't you just want to hug him? Stay tuned for more! Reviews please =D I'm so SORRY it took so long. If you have read my bio page, I am a wrestler myself and we had a huge event Saturday so the weeks leading up to that were hectic! Hopefully I can put out the next chapter soon! I am trying to stay away from writing the matches in detail because that is the style of a few other writers so I don't want to step into their territory.