NOTE: This takes place at when Justine is at her parents'. *** and another thing: I have nothing against Ryan/fwiz. This is only a story, and in no way do I believe this is what is going on. - Enjoy :)

*Justine's POV*

"So, Justine, what's up with you and Ryan?" Bre asked, dragging out his name as if I were twelve.

"Good! Great. He's great. Super sweet," I tried to sound casual, but I'm pretty sure I just sounded nervous. She didn't seem to notice though.

"Awesome! I'm really happy for you! He seems amazing."

"Yep! He is." I said, really hoping she would take a hint and change the subject. She did not.

"Do you see this going far? Like, a long-term thing?" she questioned me, obviously interested. She always was interested with my love life. Ever since I had my very first boyfriend in seventh grade. I guess that's what's expected of little sisters, though.

"Yeah, maybe… I'm gonna go put on my pajamas, okay?" I got up quickly walked to my room.

I really liked this room. It was the room I grew up in, how could I not like it, though? When I was here it was like I could remember- just for a second- where I belonged. I felt small, standing there in the middle of the little room. Small, in a good way. Like a child. I loved that feeling. Toby used to give me that feeling. It was a feeling like nothing else. I felt free, and so alive. I felt like I was just starting out in this life, without a care in the world. And, if I want to be honest with myself, Ryan just doesn't make me feel that way. I feel so… twenty- eight when I'm with him. I stood in front of my baby blue full length mirror. I looked like an adult too. My hair isn't the same. My clothes aren't the same, and, somehow, my eyes aren't either. I'm not who I used to be. Can't anyone see that?

I collapsed onto the ground and sobbed. I cried and cried until I felt as if I had no more tears, but as soon as I sat up and propped my body up against the wall, the tears came again.

"Justine! Sweetheart, what is it?" I heard a voice, one that I recognized to be my mothers', come closer to me. I felt arms envelop me and hold me tight, "Sweetie, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Strangely enough, sitting here like this, I felt a sense of calm. I felt calm enough to even talk to her. It was killing me. I had to talk to someone. Who could be better than my own mother?

"M-Mom…" I stuttered, as tears rolled down my face, "I need your… help. Please… I d-don't know what to do anymore, M-Mom…" I struggled to get those words out through my sobs. They were the kind that made your entire body shake. The kind of sobs only broken hearts could bring.

"Okay, okay, if you ever need my help you know you can always ask. Now, what is it you don't know what to do?" my mother replied in a calm, soothing voice.

"This! All of this! This life! I don't care about any of this! I'm not happy!" I finished saying in a much less calm voice.

"What do you mean you aren't happy? What's there to be unhappy about? You have a great job that you adore, an even more amazing boyfr-."

"NO! NONONONONO!" I interrupted her, covering my ears, "Not him, okay? Please, mom, not him. It's not him! It's never him! I don't love him! I never will!" I felt like a horrible person as I heard myself say those words. I'd thought them before, but never actually said it. The truth is, he is amazing. He's every girl's dream guy, but I don't deserve him, I guess I never really have.

"What? I thought you seemed to really like this boy…" my mother said, seeming a little disappointed.

"I- I just… I lost myself. A while ago," I started, calming down a little, "I need some time to figure myself out. I can't do that when I'm with him." I finished.

"Okay… Justine. How long have you been feeling this way?" she asked me.

Long enough.

*Toby's POV*

I scrolled through all my subscriptions, seeing if any of them were worth watching. I didn't see any, so I went back to the video. The same video I watch whenever there's nothing else to watch. EXCLUSIVE RAPTURE FOOTAGE. That was the day. I've always thought it was a little ironic, because, in a way, it was the end of the world. The end of me and her. Yeah, I'd say it's pretty close. I watched it twice before closing it. I just stared at my desktop for a minute.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed, then looked around the room. What is there? Nothing. It has been like this so long, I'm just used to it by now.

I got up and went to my bedroom. I opened the drawer to my nightstand, and there it was. No surprise, of course, though. It was always there. It would stay there as a reminder. There's still hope. If I ever get a second chance at her, I'm going to do it right. If she breaks my heart a billion times, I won't even mind, as long as she's mine in the end.

Although… I kind of feel like I've waited long enough.