oMg,

Ya'll know that I am SO SORRY for the long update! The chapter isn't as good as I want it to be but I have to give ya'll something.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Teen Titans

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Her eyes opened lazily and she saw Richard's worried face hovering over her.

"Starfire can you hear me?" His voice was thick and sounded like it was traveling through a barrier water.

When she tried to respond she felt like cotton was stuck in her throat, she looked over at her nightstand and saw a glass of water idly waiting. Richard saw the eye movement and brought the glass closer to her mouth. She tried to sit up on her own and then Richard helped her, she drank a bit and tried to speak again.

"Richard." She began hoarsely.

"Yes Starfire?" He was anxious for her to say anything.

"Wh-what was his name?" She asked.

Richard raised an eyebrow. Who was she talking about?

"Who's name Starfire?" He asked.

But she couldn't speak anymore, her head felt heavy with exhaustion and her eyelids closed by themselves. She felt Richard take her hand and then she rested against the soft pillows beneath her head.

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She heard a stranger's voice.

It was soft and kind, but unknown. It sounded like an older man mumbling to himself, she could feel his gentle wrinkly hands taking the pulse on her wrist and after a minute something cold touched the skin on her chest and she jumped into reality.

The man chuckled as she tried to regain sight.

"So you're awake." He said. "Don't mind me I'll just be a bit."

Starfire began to sit up but he pushed her back down calmly with the cold metal on her chest again. She let him do what he pleased and meanwhile looked around the room. The sun was still out, it would be evening in about another couple of hours.

"Congratulations Mrs. Grayson." His voice broke her concentration on the time.

"What?" She managed to say.

"I said congratulations" He stood up from the bed and began to pack his supplies "You're expecting."

A look of horror flashed through Starfire's face, how could this have happened? Well, not how but why?

"I can see that you're not too excited." Said the doctor by observing her reaction.

"Oh, no, no I am but.." Starfire didn't know what to say, she didn't know what to feel.

"Don't worry so much, I'm not completely sure. No one can really tell these days, only time will tell I suppose."

"You must not tell my husband." Were the only words that really had meaning to her.

"I won't, I leave it up to the wife to tell the husband." The doctor gathered up the last of his belongings.

"Thank you." Starfire began to get out of bed to lead the doctor out.

"Oh please no I can show myself out." He foresaw what she was going to do and waved his hand to dismiss the idea.

"Thank you." She repeated and the doctor saw his way out.

When Richard saw the doctor emerge from the room he immediately began to ask questions. "Mrs. Grayson is the only one who can explain it." Said the doctor hurriedly and kept walking.

Richard watched the doctor walk off in dismay and then entered the room and sat on the bed next to Starfire, he took her hand in his again "Well, what was it?" He asked earnestly.

Starfire was still, a look of a far away glance on her face. What should she say? The doctor said that he wasn't completely sure, that only time would tell but what was she going to tell Richard?

"Exhaustion." She breathed out. "It was exhaustion."

Richard's brow visibly relaxed. "Oh." He sighed deeply with relief.

She was quiet, an unsettling empty space began to form in the pit of her stomach.

But he interrupted it, "We'll have to do something about that won't we?" He caressed the side of her face with his own and Starfire broke into a smile.

"Are you still tired?" He asked.

She shook her head.

Richard held out his hand "Well then let's go downstairs and I can introduce you to Matt again, he's a great guy you know."

Starfire's smile was wiped clean, "On second thought I am a little tired." She admitted, it was true in a way, she was tired of having to hide so many things from certain people, like Richard who was her own husband.

"Alright." Richard seemed to have no problem with leaving her behind, which only made her feel worse. "You'll be down for dinner right?" He asked.

She gulped and then nodded.

He leaned in for a kiss and she kissed back timidly, he gave her a look once over and then left the room quietly.

Starfire sunk into her bed, this was not going to be easy. What was she going to do? Obviously "Matt" wasn't going to tell Richard and she didn't want to either, they would kill each other. She would have to tell Speedy to leave and as soon as possible, she just wanted her life to be normal. Now that there was a possibility of her being a mother soon she was ready to accept Richard, he was sweet and kind and would never want to hurt her.

It was decided, she was going to meet with Speedy. It would have to be behind Richard's back but it was worth it, she didn't want to hurt him anymore than what she had already. She would convince Speedy and then everything would go to normal, she would live a long life next to Richard and as many kids as they would have.

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Her heart was beating so fast, she thought it was going to break her chest at any moment. Her hands shook as she dipped them into the water and washed her face and then dried them with a towel. She breathed in slowly before she opened the door and made her way downstairs.

She made it to the last of the steps, "Starfire." She jumped when she heard her name and then felt Richard's arms hold her from behind.

She turned to meet his gaze "Are you okay?" He asked, noticing her paler than before.

Starfire twisted out of his grasp, it didn't feel right to be thinking of someone else and having him there "I am fine." She answered stiffly.

Richard shook it off, it must be the scare from having a doctor care for her "I was just going to get you." He said and then grabbed her hand to lead her into the dining area. While he led her through the house she felt a sense of relief to see Speedy out of sight and felt somewhat relaxed.

But it was too soon to feel any sense of relief. When Richard opened the door that led into the dining room she saw Speedy, or "Matthew", talking to Victor, as she watched him she saw him stand up suddenly and face her.

"Starfire, this is Matthew Cunningham." Richard presented him admirably.

"But we call him Matt." Victor wrapped his arm around Matt's neck and gave him a noogie as they laughed.

Richard nudged her forward and he reached for her hand eagerly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." His dark eyes penetrated through her as she felt his soft lips kiss her delicate hand.

She was completely and utterly at a loss for words, she felt like she deserved to be in a ditch dying right now. She felt like letting her cheeks burn but she knew that if she let that happen her emotions would get the best of her and she'd probably end up crying.

"Star you don't look so good." Commented Victor.

Starfire held up a hand to her face, her cheeks really were burning "I'm fine." She said trying to sound convincing.

Richard touched her face lightly "You're a little hot."

"I'm fine, really." Repeated Starfire. "Let's sit down, I'm starving." She tried to get the attention off of her desperately, she wasn't even that hungry.

They all sat down and Bee served them and then stood aside, Starfire looked at them and saw that the three were fairly comfortable around each other, why was everything falling into place with him here? It wasn't fair. She should have faked being sick, why did ideas like this occur late for her?

Everyone started to eat their soup and she payed special attention to "Matt" how could he eat? In front of Richard? In front of her? In front of her and Richard? The audacity he had for even showing his face like that was incredibly infuriating to her.

She was still staring at him when she heard him say: "I thought you were hungry." He glanced at her briefly and playfully.

She looked him straight in the eye "I lost my appetite." She said evenly, she hoped it didn't sound as much of a challenge to them as it did to her.

She quickly changed the subject "Where is Babs?"

Richard gave a look like why would she care where Babs was but she ignored it, she obviously just wanted this night to be over already.

"Oh, you missed it." Said Victor happily "Richard threw her out." He was more excited now.

Richard looked away like it was no big deal and Starfire looked at him with big eyes. She had never known that Richard would do that.

Without thinking she asked "Why?"

Richard gave her another look like he couldn't believe what she was saying.

"She made a bid deal of Matt sitting in her father's old spot." Answered Victor for Richard.

"I was willing to move." Interfered Matt.

"Yes but you didn't have to, all of my most trusted workers eat at the table with me. It happened with her father and it's going to happen with you too. She just needs to get it through her head." Said Richard.

If that didn't convince Matt that this thing he was doing wasn't wrong than she didn't know what could. Earlier she had written on a piece of paper for him to meet her in the opening of the woods at midnight, how she was going to give it to him she didn't know.

"She's in the kitchen now." Finished Victor.

When Starfire heard what Victor said, she felt like that's where she deserved to be, in fact, right now Babs deserved the spot she was sitting in now, Richard should know not to trust her and she really needed to talk to Matt.

After everyone was done eating, the men talked and Starfire tried to pay attention but the truth was that she couldn't help but notice Speedy's or "Matt's" eyes on her. She tried not to pay attention to it but she was dying to know what was on his mind. As they entered the drawing room Starfire noticed that Matt walked with a limp, she wondered why but was obviously not going to ask him for fear of the truth coming out. She was going to excuse herself but Richard put a disc on and looked so happy.

Before she could get her thoughts back Matt spoke to her "May I have this dance?" He bowed before her humbly.

She looked over at Richard "Go ahead honey." He approved easily.

She allowed Matt to take her hand in his and he led her closer into the middle of the room, farther from Richard and Victor. He pulled her closely and into him. With his hand placed firmly against her back she felt like she couldn't breathe. The song was slow but had beat and sometimes the beat went faster, he twirled her delicately and moved his feet cleanly despite his slight limp, she felt like she was in a blissful trance...until she heard his voice again.

He was so close, she felt his lips on her ear and it made her shiver "Meet me in the little church at midnight." He whispered, so much for the note she had written earlier.

The song ended and Matt made his way back to Victor and Richard so fast she felt dazed. When she got back they had started another conversation again.

"If you boys don't mind I think I'm going to bed now." She said as cheerfully as she could.

Richard walked over to her and put his arm around her "Are you sure?" He asked, like she really wanted to stay for all the fun.

Starfire ran upstairs as quietly as she could, it would be midnight in a little more than a couple of hours. Could Matt really get Richard and Victor to bed by midnight? She was already getting used to the idea of calling Speedy by his new alias, that wasn't good. She sat on her bed and waited, when she heard Richard's slow footsteps coming up from the stairs she tucked herself into bed, clothes and all, and pretended to sleep. In a matter of minutes she heard his soft snores, she decided to wait another 5 just in case.

She put on her cloak with her hood, it would be cold outside and it was a good guise to hide her face, on her way downstairs she took off her shoes to step lighter. When she was outside she put them back on and ran until she got into the entrance of the forest, she had to be careful with the branches, if Richard saw a single scratch he would surely ask where she had been. Her eyes never fully adjusted to the darkness of the wilderness, she was in terror the whole way there until she saw the illuminated windows of the small church and was grateful to the people who had all lit candles.

When she entered she saw no one, she kneeled in one of the pews and decided to wait. The little church looked empty, once a little choir boy passed to check on the candles but that's it. She had no idea what a little boy like that was doing up during this hour but she guessed they had shifts. There was no sign of Speedy. She stood to leave and when she was close to the doorway a hand came out of nowhere and pulled her in the other direction.

"You weren't going to leave without talking to me were you?" He said.

"Speedy!" Starfire exclaimed, a little frightened now.

"Sshhh!" Speedy placed his hand on her mouth and pulled her behind the door and against the wall.

She yanked herself away from him, creating space between them, and frowned "Where were you? I've been waiting."

"Are you mad at me?" He said after he saw her expression.

"No, well..." She didn't know what she was going to say.

"Listen Star, I'm sorry it took me so long-" He started to walk towards her and she backed away.

"Wait." She cut him off and prayed he would stay away from her.

"Just let me explain." He insisted, he felt like he was losing right now for some odd reason.

"It's me that has to explain." She continued. "Listen."

He was quiet.

"You should go back." They weren't the best words in the world but they were the right words, the only words that explained what she wanted him to do.

His face fell "What do you mean 'go back'?" He asked, a little on the defensive side now.

"I mean go away, and...and just leave me alone."

"You can't ask me to do that." His voice was incredulous.

"Speedy you have to." She said.

"No, you have to come with me." His hands wrapped around her waist.

"Speedy you don't understand."

"No, you don't understand!" His voice broke and he calmed himself down "I came all this way, I've waited so long just to see you and now you just want me to dissapear?" His voice was in her face.

"I'm sorry!" She yelled "I just don't know what to tell you!" Starfire was about to cry, the pain in his eyes was unbearable to watch.

"Tell me you still love me and that you're glad I'm here!" He hit the wall ""Tell me that you'll go anywhere as long as you're by my side!" He'd spent so many endless nights dreaming of this moment and now it was only a disaster.

She lowered her voice "I can't, I'm married to Richard now." She showed him the ring on her finger.

Matt covered the ring with his hand "That's not true, he stole you from me."

"At first he did." Her voice quivered and the tears came, she remembered all the horrible things they had said to each other and the times when she just wished she would die.

"What did he do to you?" He asked.

She didn't respond.

"Tell me and I'll make him pay."

"No." She responded quickly, she didn't want Richard to find out, she would feel even more horrible than she felt right now.

"Why not?" He responded angrily.

She felt at a loss for words "Because I don't want you to." She said and turned away from him.

He let the silence fill the air while he figured out what to say "Starfire, do you still love me?" He asked, hoping he still knew the answer.

When she didn't respond he asked again "Starfire do you still love me."

His words cut into her, squeezing the tears out of her closed eyes, this was the question she wanted to avoid the most, he had come all this way for nothing.

After her second delay he couldn't wait for her answer anymore, she felt his hands on her shoulders and then he turned her towards him swiftly and into his arms.

"Well? Do you?" He demanded, looking her straight in the eyes.

Starfire sobbed some more, she couldn't bear the expecting look in his eyes. She wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head against his arm "No," She responded "I do not love you anymore."

Speedy pushed away from her, he hid his face because he felt like he was about to cry like a baby. His heart had been torn into a thousand pieces, this whole time the only thing that drove him to keep living was her and knowing that she was waiting for him to return. And now? Now she didn't want him anymore, he had taken far too much time in finding her.

With damp eyes he looked at her cry, he walked back to where she was standing and looked at her pink face, with his hand he raised her delicate chin up to look back at him for a moment she stopped crying and his other hand traveled up from her neck onto her cheek and he wiped away her tears with his mouth while she was silent.

She watched as his mouth came into close contact with her own, the curiousity of wanting to know if he still tasted the same was killing her. She finally gave into his kiss letting his mouth devour hers, it swept over her like a sweet memory until she couldn't take it anymore and pulled away. He tryed to cling onto her elbows with his hands and when they slipped to her wrists his lips bit into her and his tongue explored old territory, then she broke free.

"You kissed back." He said breathlessly touching his lips.

She turned away almost shamefully.

"You kissed back." He repeated, a slight smile on his features.

"It doesn't matter." She said, hoping he would leave the ranch either way.

She began to slowly walk out of the small Church "Don't you see?" He talked while chasing after her "You're not completely his."

She stopped and faced him, "It does not matter."

Tears welled in his eyes and he turned around, he didn't want her to see him cry but he couldn't stop them from coming.

She stopped walking away from him and instead walked towards him, "I'm sorry but just leave Speedy" She stopped and after a second of hesitation she continued "I'm no good to you anymore...I-I'm used."

A look of bewilderment crossed Speedy's face "Is that it?" he grabbed onto her shoulders furiously "You think..." He let go of her when he realized he was hurting her, he paced angrily and then looked into her eyes "You think I.." He couldn't bring himself to even think of what he was about to say and instead rubbed the back of his neck.

After a dispute with his self he spoke "Starfire, I don't want you for your body, I want you for what's inside." He gave the upper half of her bosom a tap.

More hot tears formed and trickled down Starfire's cheeks. She couldn't repress the overwhelming sound of a sob that escaped her throat. Almost instantly Speedy's hand was under her chin and he lifted her eyes to meet his, she watched and did nothing to stop him from planting another kiss on her wet lips.

This time it was Speedy who pulled away gently to look into her eyes once more "Starfire, I love you." He said.

She stared into his eyes and knew it was the truth, as more tears squeezed through her eyes she couldn't help feeling a part of her saddened heart beat a little faster by hearing this.

Knowing that she wasn't going to respond to his proclamation of love he kept talking "I don't care if you love me or not because by the time I'm ready to leave you'll remember."

He gave her a last peck on the lips "And you're coming with me."

Shocked by his self-confidence Starfire stood still until his fading footsteps were gone. When she was certain he was gone her knees collapsed to the ground and she burst into tears.

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Remember guys, Matthew Cunningham is Speedy in disguise! LoL I hope I didn't confuse any of you with the names, sometimes I added quotations but other times I didn't so yeah I hope you didn't get confused.

Review! Review! Review!

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