Me again :) This next chapter is twice as long and is going to be a 2 parter, so don't be confused if it ends pretty abruptly. I was gonna make it one huge chap but i ran into some writers block. I figured it was kind of a dick move to make you guys wait any longer than you already have. So yea, here it is!

He quickly pressed "End" and tossed the phone aside, thankful that conversation was over with. Well, for now anyway. But he'd jump off that bridge when he got to it.

He knew that by no means was that the end of their little discussion. That she'd be calling back, demanding answers. Maybe not anytime soon, but you didn't have to be a Boy Wonder to know Hightower wasn't the type to leave something like this hanging. Still though, he had no idea what he'd tell her.

With his arms crossed, and his expression blank, he sat there. Thinking, compromising, and ultimately, stressing. And for the first time, truly taking in his situation. He was a broken man who had lost his family to a serial killer. A son of a bitch who he swore to cut open and watch die the second he had the chance. Yet he was seriously considering adoption? The more he though about it, the more ridiculous it sounded. What the hell was wrong with him? Besides, there was the very real possibility that Nathan didn't even want to be adopted. Something he hadn't even considered. Shit. Not to mention he made out with Lisbon just this morning. He didn't regret it, not at all, but at this point it was just adding insult to injury. He was digging himself a hole, and already he was in over his head.

Wait... why did his mouth taste like pennies? He had been chewing the inside of his lip absentmindedly for the past two minutes, and he obviously bit too hard. This is why he didn't like thinking, all the second guessing just put him in a bad mood. He rested his head in his hands.

inhale, exhale.

Who was he kidding. He can't go back now. He adores that kid head to toe. And Lisbon, well she's a whole different story. The bottom line is, he knows how he feels. He knows he wants them in his life for good. He just doesn't know if they feel the same way.

" Are you trying to hide? Cause I can still see you, Pat."

With all this crap running through his mind, he didn't even notice anyone walk in.

He lifted his head from his hands to see Nathan staring back with a very unimpressed expression.

Jane looked down at himself. He was sitting on the floor with his back against the couch and his head in his hands. It did look like a lousy attempt at hiding.

Smiling, he said, "I was never very good at hide and seek."

Nathan walked over and took a seat beside him. "Yeah...but it's not your fault."

Jane turned his head, "Why's that?"

"Cause...you're so big!" And he stretched his arms out for emphasis. "It's hard to find good spots when you can't fit anywhere."

He chuckled. "Like?"

"Likee...the laundry basket! No one ever looks in there."

"That's true, i definitely can't fit in the laundry basket. But you know, I was small once too."

"Really?" He was confused more than anything. "So... could i be that big too one day?"

"Of course. Maybe even bigger."

"Whoa."

Jane smiled, he loved how kids could be amazed by the smallest of things.

There was a short pause, and then Nathan spoke up.

"Pat... are you sad?"

He was caught a little off guard. Was he sad? How do you explain to a 5 year old that he might never see you again come Monday morning. That he might have no option but to send him back. And that you'd miss the hell out of him if he had to leave?

You don't.

"What makes you say that?"

"Cause."... "You're smiling...but your eyes look sad. And i think your lip is bleeding.

He wiped his lower lip. Damn that stings.

"...You should sing."

Jane raised his eyebrows in confusion. "I should sing?"

He took a breath and turned to Jane. "My mom used to sing when she was sad about something. She always said her voice was worse than her problem."

He smirked.

"She was a bad singer then, huh?"

"She said she was, but i never thought so." There was a pause, and then, "...I miss her."

His heart broke a little more every time. There's no right way to console a grieving child, nothing lessens the pain. But you do what you can to help them get through it. So he took him up on his lap, tucked his head under his chin, and held him tight. "I know buddy." He rubbed soothing circles up and down his back. "Tell me about her."

He was toying with Jane's fingers while he spoke. "She loved pie. I liked blueberry, but she liked apple."

"How come?"

"I don't know, but it was the first pie we ever made together. We made lots of pies."... "Do you think maybe we can make one later... with Tess?"

"We could make one hundred pies if you wanted to." Hell, he'd buy a whole bakery if it made him happy.

"One hundred ? Is that allowed?" he shook his head, "Can anyone even eat one hundred pies?"

He smiled, "I know a guy."

"...He must get a lot of stomach aches."

"Surprisingly, no." He honestly had no idea how Rigsby ate so much. It wasn't normal. "What else did she like?"

And they sat there for a good 10 minutes together. Jane, listening to every word.

He wishes he could tell him that over time it would get better, and things would go back to the way they were. But it wouldn't. He knows it never gets easier. That the hurt never goes away. But someday he'll understand, and when he does he'll be ok.

Until then, the only promise he could make, was that he was never alone. Ever.

"It sounds like she was a really great mom."

"The best." he sighed, "...Can we watch some cartoons?"

Jane chuckled, "Sure. Help me up."

They had been watching Spongebob reruns for about 10 minutes before they heard her.

"Ow, Dammit! Son of a-" followed by a few other things that should really never be repeated. Though Jane had covered Nathan's ears for the worst of it, the smirk on his face told him it was useless. He glanced back in the direction of the kitchen. "...I'm gonna go check on her." Nathan nodded vigorously. He turned back to add "...and never repeat those words!" before jogging out of the room.

Nathan tried to bite back a smile. Definitely not something he'd be sharing at "Show and Tell" anytime soon.

"What happened?"

Lisbon turned around with her finger in her mouth, and a pained expression."...Nothing."

He raised an eyebrow and gave her a knowing look. Coming closer he said, "Let me see."

"It's just a scratch."

"A scratch?"

She nodded.

"Really? Cause it sounded a bit more painful." She rolled her eyes, but he held out his hand anyway. "Come on. Show me."

Begrudgingly, she took her finger out of her mouth, and as soon as she did it started bleeding again.

He took her hand in his and the first thing he saw was the blood. And there was a lot of it. He gave her a very displeased look. "That's a hell of a scratch. What were you doing, playing PaddyCake with Edward ScissorHands?"

She almost smirked at the reference. "Ok, you're being ridiculous, it's not that ba-"

"It looks like it needs stitches."

"It needs for you to relax. A Bandaid should do. Seriously."

He was about to argue but sighed instead. "...Fine, don't move."

" They're in the bathroom, under the-"

"Sink, bottom drawer. I know."

Of course you do.

He came back within seconds. "Here." and he wrapped it around her finger with such gentleness you'd think she was made of glass. His touch lingered just long enough to make her blush, but he was too concentrated on her hand to notice.

"Thank you." she said, sincerely meaning it.

"You're welcome. You never answered my question though, what happened?"

"What can i say, PaddyCake is a dangerous game."

He chuckled.

"I was washing the dishes, and my hand slipped while i was holding the knife."

Jane shook his head. "You have to be careful woman, it's a knife not a pillow."

"Oh! So thats why i've been having such a hard time sleeping lately! See, i had the two completely mixed up, so thank you." Then she leant up to his ear and whispered, "Sarcasm."

"Really? You hide it well."

The look he gave her was priceless and they both started laughing.

When she heard Spongebob in the other room, she realized something. Crap.

Jane immediately sensed the change in her demeanor. "What's the matter?"

"Jane, did Nathan hear me?" she almost didn't want to know.

"Hear you?" what was she-

"Swearing. When i cut my finger. Did he hear me?"

Ah. "Well... he definitely learned some new words."

"Shit."

He rolled his eyes, the woman was oblivious to coarse language. "Don't worry, I covered his ears for the most part."

She shook her head. "Who'd of thought, that of the two of us, I would end up being the bad influence, really?"

His smile was practically at his ears. "I know, isn't great?"

She punched him. "You're enjoying this? Unbelievable."

He rubbed his shoulder. "Oh relax. You're not a bad influence, you had a slip of the tongue. And considering you nearly cut your finger off, I'd say this time's guilt free."

She sighed. "...Im just..not used to having to worry about these things."

"Meh, bad habits die hard."

She wasn't convinced.

"...If you really feel that bad, just put a five in the swear jar."

"I don't have a swear jar." Seriously, she'd be broke if she did.

He thought a moment. "Then give me five dollars."

"Uh, no."

"I'll give it back...as soon as you learn some discretion. Come on, it'll be good for you."

"I can't even-...really though, FIVE dollars? When the hell did swearing become so expensive?"

"When you started combining words i didn't know existed. And you just said "hell", thats another fifty cents."

"Seriously? You know what, here." And she gave him a ten. "That should cover me till lunch."

He smiled. "Cheater." But took it anyway and put it in his pants pocket. And only then did she realize what he was wearing...or wasn't wearing, to be more precise.

He was in nothing but dress pants and a wife-beater. After their little food fight, his dress shirt did get pretty dirty, so he must have been wearing that underneath.

But when the hell did he change? Shit, i swore again...Crap! Ugh, I really do need help.

Actually, Jane had shed his dress shirt as soon as he got on the phone with Hightower, but Lisbon was too focused on what they were saying to notice. But now that she did, she was impressed... and a little confused.

Jane caught her staring at his chest, but it wasn't so much admiration as it was...annoyance? He tilted his head to the side "...Lisbon?"

Her eyes stayed concentrated on his shirt. "..What?" She didn't sound very happy.

He considered his next words carefully. "Are you...checking me out?" He honestly couldn't tell right now.

Again, her eyes didn't move from where they were. She crossed her arms and gave a disapproving huff.

"Yup."

No blushing, no hesitation, just.. 'yup'.

He smirked. Well that was uncharacteristically blunt.

"...like what you see?"

Finally, she met his eyes.

"NO!"

He would feel hurt, if he wasn't so damn confused.

She poked his upper arm. "What the HELL are these? You sit on a couch all day and do NOTHING... you're not suppose to HAVE these!"

"...Muscles?"

"YES!"

It went silent for maybe half a second before he burst out laughing.

(part 1of 2)

I have absolutely no idea when part 2 is gonna be up, but you know, eventually. What i do know is that the next 2 chapter will include the following: a bet (im not saying about what), Jane and Lisbon talk about their kiss, and what it means bla bla, they take nathan to the CBI (havoc will ensue) and from then on they focus on the case and trying to solve it. Anyways, as always lemme know what you think, give me suggestions, opinions, predictions, the whole works. :) bye!