Chapter 2:

Eddie and Janet drove in a comfortable, easy silence. They both knew that there was so much that needed to be said and worked out. There would be tears, and yelling but in this moment, in the safe cocoon of his truck, they were in a bubble of content. And for a few miles they could enjoy it, knowing it would not last. Eddie longed to touch her, to reassure himself that she was real, that this was happening. He reached across and grabbed her hand, bringing it to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on her palm. He ran his nose along her wrist and allowed her perfume to trigger all the memories he tried to chase away the last six weeks. Scent was always able to bring Eddie back to a person or a place. Fresh cut grass in the spring, reminded him of his father, working beside him landscaping the Ridge on weekends, before he passed away. The fake powdery aroma of orange Tang reminded him of Angela Ferelli and summer time with his friends when he was nine. Peanut butter cookies baking in the oven, well that was all Janet, in her kitchen, hair piled up on her head, wearing an apron.

He kissed her hand once more and then laced his fingers with hers, and gently rested their joined hands on his thigh.

Janet exhaled deeply, just happy to be sitting where she was sitting. Her mind still racing. Did that really just happen? Did Eddie just defend her honor, what was left of it anyway? Replaying the showdown at Spring Fling gave her hope, something that was lost to her these last six weeks. When Eddie grabbed her hand, her entire body reacted. The sensation started in her finger tips and radiated through her, warming her from the outside in. His touch always elicited such a response but tonight it was so much more because she had a greater understanding of what she had lost. She fought the desire to lean over and kiss him not sure where this was headed. Not daring to dream or hope.

Eddie pulled up to 32 Gelson. "I thought we could talk here." He saw the look of surprise that spread across her face. She thought they were headed back to Hannah's, a neutral place with no karma. "If that's ok…" Janet smiled at him and gave his hand a squeeze, unsure but willing.

They walked hand in hand up the front steps, passing the porch swing. Janet's eyes lingered on it for a few moments. The pain she felt watching Eddie and Rory as they kissed flashed thru her like a jolt of electricity. She stilled there, frozen and unable to move. Eddie felt her stop, and turned. The look on Janet's face made his heart break, in that moment he knew what she was thinking. He had never allowed himself to imagine how Janet felt driving by his house watching him kiss another women. Rory of all people. The pain, the anger, the sadness, the rejection and the self-loathing she must have felt. It must have been consuming and overwhelming paired with the fact that he had gave her the Hysman all day. His stomach turned with regret.

"Jem, lets go inside." He whispered gently pulling her to the door.

She followed him in, Phil and Pizza Girl snuggled on the sofa engrossed in Teen Wolf, one of their guilty pleasure movies. They both turned their heads when they heard the door open, but before they could open their mouths to speak Eddie shot them a look. A look that meant NOT A WORD. They both looked on in silence with huge smiles on their faces as Eddie and Janet made their way up the stairs hand in hand.

Janet walked into Eddie's bedroom, it was a place that always felt like home, despite the long line of women who had come before her. Her eyes darted around, she was shocked that all her things were still there, her books, perfume, her robe still hanging on the closet door. She also noticed two large holes in the sheetrock. It took her a few moments to realize what caused them. Eddie fists. He was always quick to anger, fast to the fight, fast to defend. It was one of the best and worst things about him. His ultimate strength and his greatest weakness. A wave of exhaustion flowed over her. She sat on the edge of Eddie's bed not knowing what to do next.

He just watched her, fighting the parts of his mind and body that wanted to kiss her, rip off her clothing and be inside of her again. Making any memory of Rooster and Rory disappear. He leaned against his bedroom door, arms crossed over his chest, trying to keep as much space between them as possible. He was trying to figure out what to say, what to do. Janet could sense his trepidation. "Eddie, we don't have to do this tonight, if it's… too much. It's been a long day. I get it." She was twirling one of her long curls around her finger, a nervous habit. She stood up to leave and Eddie body jumped off the door.

"No Janet, it's not that. I just… I want… I just want you so much right now. You have no idea. But I know it's not the right time." Janet nodded nervously, her mind in overdrive. Giddy, elated, joyful…Eddie wanted her again. "I am fighting with my mind and my body right now." He stood there looking lost, shoving his hands in his pockets in an effort to contain them.

"No, I understand. Trust me I do." Janet giggled nervously, and that was his undoing. The sweet sound of her giggle, matched with the lingering scent of her perfume, standing in his bedroom, twirling her hair, he was just a man after all.

"Oh, the hell with it." He got to her in two steps wrapping his arms around her, his mouth crashing against hers. A hungry kiss, he wanted to take in every part of her he could. Janet leaned into him, folding her arms around his waist. His mouth traveled to her neck, an involuntary moan escaped from her mouth urging him on. He stepped away from her and removed his jacket and tee shirt. His yellowed bruises were still visible, Janet reached out and gently brushed her finger across them. He closed his eyes, the sensation of her soft touch was almost too much for him to take. Next he kicked off his boots and again his hands were on Janet, unbuttoning her blouse and slowly sliding it down her shoulders, tossing it to the floor. His calloused hands traveled over her smooth skin, remembering. He nudged her back to the bed laying her down gently, his mouth on hers. She wanted to get lost with him, forget all that had happened. Imagine a place where Rooster and Rory didn't exist but she couldn't. Something deep inside of Janet froze, a voice telling her to stop. She pulled away from him and rolled on her side.

"Eddie, I can't do this." Confused and hurt Eddie sat up. Janet grabbed one of his flannels on the chair next to his bed and slipped it on. She sat on the chair and pulled her knees to chest, tears in her eyes, she quickly wiped them away wanting to be strong.

"Jem…" He knelt beside the chair resting his hands on her feet.

"I just… I don't… I don't trust you Eddie." He felt like she just slapped him in the face. She is the one who slept with another man and she didn't trust him. "I know what I did was awful and you may never forgive me but what you did… it broke something in me.. I never have been able to really trust anyone, its never come easy to me. But you I trusted, despite some bumps early on. I allowed myself to…"Janet's voice trailed off lost in a thought that would never leave her mind. "You lied to me so many times that day, in so many ways. I didn't even equate in your decisions, your choices. Rory was there and all bets were off. I didn't matter at all. I mean, if what you told me is true and she left right after you kissed. There was over an hour before Rooster got to my house. I had to pull over because I was crying so hard, pull myself together and then drive the rest of the way home." Janet had to stop and take a breath, just remembering how she felt in that moment, parked around the corner from Eddie's thinking that he was taking Rory up to his room, the room that she was in right now. The thought suffocated her.

"I finished that bottle of wine in the fridge, I called Hannah and then Rooster and it took him a while to get to me. We talked and I drank. In all that time did you even think to call me. You had basically avoided me all day, did it even cross your mind? Did I even CROSS YOUR MIND?" Janet was sobbing now despite her best efforts. Eddie didn't really know what to say. He didn't have an easy answer, if he thought back to that night, he planned to go to the shop tie up some loose ends, go home and get some sleep and bring Janet bagels and coffee in the morning. He didn't want to tell her that he kissed Rory but he knew he had to. He just wanted to put it off for as long as he could.

Janet felt like she should have known better, men like Eddie will always choose girls like Rory. She knew all this time she was just fooling herself, believing the lies he told her. She wanted something magical to look back on because deep down she knew this thing with Eddie would eventually end and she would settle with who ever came next. They would have a few kids, he would drink to much, she would eat to much. They would fight, pay bills, send the kids to college and everything that goes with life. But when things would get bad, she would have this time, the months she spent with Eddie to look back on, to hold on to. A sepia toned movie reel of what it felt like to really love a man and to almost have him love you back. And it would have to be enough. So she took it for what it was, grateful. And now her question still hung in the air. His silence was all the answer Janet needed. She stood up to leave,

"I have to go." Fear coursed through him.

"No! Janet no, if you leave now we will never work this out." He ran his hand through his hair, scratching the back of his neck. "I don't know why I didn't call or come by, maybe I was ashamed that I kissed her. I didn't want to tell you I kissed her." Eddie felt desperate, his mouth moving faster then his mind, rambling. Finally surrendering, he exhaled, calmed himself. "Honestly Jem I don't know." Janet couldn't even look at him.

"You know when she came by Sully's that day, and started talking to me.."

"She talked to you? I mean you SAW her?" This was news to him.

"Yeah, She came in looking all perfect and being all nice and sweet and then she told me you looked sad Eddie. Sad." The more Eddie learned about this day the worse he felt. "I couldn't imagine what I could have said or done to make you sad."

"I wasn't sad, I was shocked to see her maybe but not sad. When I left your house that morning I was so the opposite of sad. I couldn't wait to get back home to you."

"But you didn't come back home to me" Janet's voice was haunted, she was facing every doubt she had ever had about Eddie loving her. "Why didn't you tell her you were seeing me?"

"I did I told her I was seeing someone."

"Someone, but not me Eddie. Because you were ashamed."

"That's not it, I just didn't…"

"You didn't want to tell the perfect model you were dating the less then perfect barmaid."

"Enough Janet, I don't see you like that. To me you are perfect. I didn't tell her it was you because, I didn't want her going to see you. I knew it would freak you out and I wanted to spare you that. We were in such a good place. But I guess I was too late, she had already done it."

"When?"

"When what?"

"When did you tell her?"

"After we kissed."

"Oh well, sure. After you kissed. Well that makes me feel so much better. Why did you kiss her?'

"I wanted to." He blurted out the anger was building in him, shouldn't he be the angry one here, he stopped, she was the one who didn't. "Seeing her again. The way she left, how we ended things. I always had all these what if questions. What if we had gotten married. What if we had kids. So when I saw her all these feelings came back. Feelings that I put in the vault ten years ago. And we were talking about the past and we kissed. But the second it happened, the moment our lips touched I knew it was you. You're the one I wanted to marry and have kids with." And then it all clicked into Eddies mind why he didn't call or go over to Janet's that night. He was scared. Scared that he finally found the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Scared that he was never going to have sex with another woman again. Scared that he was all in, forever and ever in love with Janet. So instead of running towards it, he ran away from it straight into an ass kicking and sent Janet into bed with another man.

Janet was stunned into silence. She watched Eddie's face she could see him processing everything he had just said. She knew his mouth was moving faster then his mind.

"You haven't forgiven me Eddie." Janet's voice was raw "and you may never forgive me, and I am working like hell to forgive you. But we can't move forward until the forgiveness comes. I couldn't lose you again. If we rush into this, still hurt and angry it will all fall apart again … and I couldn't…"

"Go through all this again, either could I Jem." For a long time no words passed between them, they just sat for a while feeling the weight of everything they had just said. Letting it absorb into their damaged hearts and weary minds. "Janet, please say with me tonight, I haven't slept all these weeks without you." Janet nodded and stood, she slowly removed her jeans, folding them over the chair, leaving on Eddie flannel. Eddie laid down first on his back his arm extended to her. Janet slid into bed next to him resting her head in the crook of his arm, linking her leg over his. He gently rubbed her back as her fingers traced the borders of the fading bruises. He gently kissed her forehead and they drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Morning came, Janet was the first to wake. Eddie had wrapped himself around her, Janet was on her side, with his head pressed against chest, one arm up over his head around her shoulder and neck, the other draped around her back holding her butt, his legs curled into her. He was hot and heavy and she felt so small lying next to him. She was stiff but didn't want to move, loving his closeness, his vulnerability. She ran her fingers through his hair, he needed a haircut. God, she was thirsty and had to pee, and when was the last time she ate? She never did get that fried Oreo. She shook him gently, and repeated his name trying to wake him. All she succeeded in doing is having him pull her closer and tighter. She laughed to herself, knowing the only way to wake sleeping beauty was with a kiss. She leaned down, but she still couldn't get to his mouth, she wiggled her body down as much as she could and raised his head with her free hand. Gently pressing her lips to his, it took only a moment before he responded, a growl escaped from the back of his throat. In an instant she was on her back, Eddie fully on top of her, Janet's bare legs wrapped around him. The kiss now intense, all consuming. What did I do, start something I can't finish. Her body was awash with sensation, his flannel turned nightgown thrown to the floor, Eddie's bare chest against hers. They were a runaway train nothing and no one could stop them now. He knew he should stop, but he couldn't. Eddie needed her, to find the peace that he only found within Janet. The fullness of her body, the softness of her skin, her eyes that he couldn't bare to look away from. Everything else fell away and all that mattered was this, them and once he was inside of her he knew they would never be parted again.

Janet cried out, unable to contain herself. She had craved him, these weeks. A deep unrelenting longing, that occupied her every thought. Now she was full, with his weight upon her, she felt like she was finally home. When they were apart she had these deep intense dreams. She and Eddie were lying naked in bed, moonlight pouring thru the open windows along with a cool breeze. Eddie was behind her, holding her, running his hands along her body until her reached her belly. Her very pregnant belly. She would try and hold on to these dreams for as long as she could trying to remember every feeling, every detail. When she would wake it was a mix of happiness and tears and the feeling would last her the entire day. She never though his hands would be on her again and now here his was, with her.

They were both incoherent now, no room for thoughts, fears, doubts, or insecurities.

They moved together as one, in perfect tandem. Every second building, to the ultimate descent. Reaching the end together, a never ending moment of pure love. Eddie stilled, no energy left, softly kissing Janet. Her smile as mixed with tears that she had no control over.

"Now, that's what I am talking about." Eddie said with a breathy rasp. Janet laughed, shaking both of their bodies. They look of pure joy and satisfaction on her sweet face, moved something deep in Eddie's soul. It felt as though his soul was wrapping around hers and he no longer knew where his stopped and hers began.

"Janet, marry me?"