R POV

I'm sitting on the futon in my living room trying desperately to zone out and loose myself in whatever movie we are watching. I stare trance like at the tv and pretend as if I had blinders on, nothing exists to the left or to the right I just try and focus on the story. Wait what movie is this? Mulan? Good choice Britt.

Every time I feel myself start to achieve my goal of peaceful bliss Quinn finds a way to bring me back. Right now it's in the form of her hand on my thigh; I refuse to acknowledge her when she gives my leg a small squeeze. I know she's worried about me but that really just makes me feel worse about needing her so badly.

I realize that she said she wants to be there for me but we haven't even been dating two full days yet, I can't show her all the crazy right away.

I know Quinn wants me to go back to NYADA and a small part of me knows I should be going back too but I just can't, I'm just going to suppress that feeling and bury it deep until it goes away…that's healthy right?

I've started making a pro and con list about New York and Lima, I even color coordinated it to help further develop my lists…don't judge me. Sadly NYADA is losing because I can't in good conscience going back to school knowing I'm leaving my zombie of a father behind.

He still hasn't left his room and even though I bring him food at every meal he doesn't even glance my way when I bring it in, and apparently eating anything is out of the question. I need my father so badly I violently shake at the thought, I need them bothbut right now I need my father to hold me and tell me what to do, is that too much to ask?

Apparently I'm no longer hypnotized and I take a glance at the bookshelf next to the TV and I really wish I hadn't, the top shelf is lined with pictures of me and my dads in various stages of my life. This place is a damn museum of the life I used to live; now it's just a depressing reminder of what I'll never have again.

I jump when a pale hand comes into my vision. Quinn! Her fingers are softly wiping my cheeks free of tears I didn't even know I was crying. The touch brings me back to present time where I'm sitting in Quinn's lap, when did that happen?

I lean back into Quinn's front and let out a content sigh when she encompasses her arms around me and then puts her hands into my lap softly drawing circles over my hands that I'm anxiously playing with.

I try to even out my breathing as I look around the room. Santana and Brittany are on the couch to the left of us , Britt is sleeping with her head on Santana's chest as she absent mindedly runs her fingers through her hair, eyes never leaving the TV screen.

Little miss Lima Heights adjacent would never admit it but she loves Disney movies.

I almost want to smile at the scene until I see dads favorite recliner in the corner…empty now.

Before I can stop it a sob rips from my throat and my tears are off to the races seeing how fast they can fall. Quinn is running her nose up my neck to my jaw and then back down again probably trying to figure out what set me off and calm me down all at the same time.

Quinn's hands start lightly rubbing up and down my forearms soon enough she's lulled me into a sense of security and I'm starting to feel safe.

"Please let me in baby girl." Quinn hoarsely whispers, her cold breath caressing my neck. A shiver runs down my spine as I shift on her lap so I'm sitting sideways with my shoulders against her chest and my head propped under her chin. Then I take one of her hands and start playing with her beautiful star ring

After I get my breathing under control I look up at Quinn for what feels like the first time in days and see nothing but love reflected back at me in her damp hazel eyes.

"Come on Rae." She gently prods me " I I I mi-miss my da-da-dad" I finally choke out. Since when is it hard for me to talk? Quinn pulls me impossibly closer to her and starts humming a familiar tune in my ear, I know I've heard it before but I can't place it.

Suddenly theirs commotion behind me but I refuse to pull away. Quinn is the only one I've found comfort with in weeks why would I willingly leave that?

"Uhh" Santana awkwardly mumbles. She must have just realized something was going on in the room besides really awesome musical numbers and war. "um me and B are going to go outside so I can uh show her that thing!" she rushes out and Britt follows up with an excited call of "Winning!"

When my tears stop and all I'm producing is painful hiccups Quinn puts her finger under my chin and forces me to look at her. Using the pads of her thumbs she wipes the moisture off my cheeks while she presses on lingering kiss to my nose.

"Rach" her gaze is strong I'm almost afraid to blink like it will ruin the moment.

"I'm sorry" her voice shakes "I know how much you're hurting right now." She pauses to press her soft lips to my forehead "I'm sorry" she repeats lifting up the hand I'm not playing with to cup my cheek.

"I wish I could take all this pain from you and just give it to myself so you didn't have to deal with this." She stops and finally breaks eye contact to look down at our joint hands taking mine to her lips and placing three quick kisses to it. " I love you so much." Her voice cracks bringing tears to my eyes.

"I love you too" I quickly cut in and Quinn closes her eyes and gives a brief nod like she needed the verification. "What can I do to help?" she quietly asks bringing us back to the matter at hand.

I lean into her and slowly bring my lips to hers, it's a brief kiss but it was passionate and held promises of so much more.

"Hold me please?" I whisper, "Baby girl you never have to ask." She retorts.

She quickly moves herself back on the couch so her head is propped up by the arm rest, then she gently guides my head until I find my spot on her chest, enjoying the faint rise of her chest with every breath.

"Thank you." I grumble into her T-shirt that my face is firmly pressed into. "Go to sleep Rach." She whispers as her fingers start to draw patterns on my lower back and her other arms wraps securely around my shoulders. Perfect

Q POV

I wake up to a stinging pain in the side of my head, what the hell? Before I get the chance to wonder if I'm still dreaming I feel it again twice in a row around the same spot. When I open my eyes I see Santana across the room on the other couch shooting rubber bands at my head, this bitch I bitterly think.

"Quinnie! Wakey wakey" her sickly sweet voice calls out and I let out another animalistic groan before looking down at Rachel, it's hard to stay mad when I see her slumbering away on my chest. I slowly try to maneuver my way out from under her without waking her up, after I successfully get out a move some hair out of her face before leaving a final kiss on the sleeping girls cheek, then I'm off to find my idiot friend.

When I get to Rachel's room I see B lightly bouncing up and down on the bed and S is leaning on the wall watching the door. "Hey thanks for finally joining us!" San yells at me. I can tell she is trying to act indifferent but her body language is off something is wrong she seems to uptight.

"What's going on?" I finally ask when the silence becomes too much. B stops bouncing long enough to gracefully fall off the bed, she's back on her feet in a flash, "I'm gonna go downstairs!" she happily sings and with a final wave she's gone.

"How are you holding up Q?" her question catches me off guard so I don't think of a more proper answer then "Uhh I'm ok…but Rach is" "Hey" she cuts in "I care about Berry, you know I do but right now I'm asking about you." She raises her eyebrow at me and I don't like that I don't like it all. That's my thing, wow I sound five.

"I'm fine." I try again and turn around to grab a sweatshirt off the floor. I need to avoid eye contact because I know she won't buy that and I really don't want to have this talk.

"Come on Q." San snaps, I know she's trying to help so I guess I can at least try to cooperate, deep breath Quinn "seriously I'm ok." I start again "I feel horrible for Rachel and I obviously loathe Finn but I can't say I'm surprised by his shitty choices anymore."

Santana studies me for a while trying to decide if she believes me, when I pass whatever test she was giving my she nods and I hop on Rachel's desk letting my feet dangle as San flops on the floor and casually leans against the wall staring right back at me. "so uh did you bring anymore ammo?" I try for a joke to lighten the mood. San just smiles and holds her hands up in surrender "Nah B told me to be nice." She jokes.

I give her a nod and start humming some country song that's been in my head all day; I guess that's what lima does to a person. I'm starting to get into it when San interrupts "seriously Q if you guys need anything let me know, me and B feel so helpless just sitting around not doing anything."

She's not looking at me and I try to sounds as reassuring as possible "San just being here really helping both of us."

She chooses to ignore me and just move on with her questions "So how is Berry really doing?" I groan and roughly run a hand through my bed head ruined hair "Wait" San cuts in "I need to tell you that I'm happy for you guys, even though she's not showing it Rachel's happier with you than I've ever seen her with anyone else."

I let out my first real smile at that, " I love her" I tell her sincerely. "don't you dare hurt her" Santana threatens . "Aaaw you big softy!" I know the moment is about to turn serious so I decide to play with this. "Hey if anyone here is 'big' it's you preggers." She grins up at me and I can't stop my laugh "Hey if you ever have any questions about sweet lady kisses-" I snatch a pen from the desk and throw it at her before she can finish that thought and hit her right in the chest. "whoa good thing the cap was on, the point might have popped your fake air bags!" she just laughs and tries to get out a serious "jealous?"

After a few seconds the silence and tension start to fill the room again so I decide to answer her previous question without making her ask again. "Rach is a mess" I tell the silent room, "she hates Finn and she misses her dad..both of them." After a pause I add "she doesn't want to go back to New York she wants to stay with him."

Santana gives me a small nod, "yeah I figured what's up with her dad anyway how's he coping?

I almost feel bad Santana has no idea the can of worms she just opened, I let out a humorless laugh "he's not even a little, he hasn't left his room since the funeral, he won't eat and he hasn't even a said a damn word to his daughter! It's pathetic he needs to be there for his kid!" I angrily finish, happy that I had the chance there's more I want to say but I've been keeping it in because I was trying to take care of Rach.

I'm pissed so I slam my heel into the desk behind me instantly regretting it when the pain starts. I know I should probably take it all back but right now I'm too angry. Instantly I realize what a low blow that was I feel like a bitch, this was a tragedy I know that, who the hell am I to judge how anyone else copes with the things in their life? I was a freaking 'skank' in high school for almost an entire semester. Hello pot meet kettle.

I look up at S and her eyes are wide open in shock starring at a point behind me she looks petrified, what the heck? She's heard me say worse before, hell she's said worse before!

A throat clears behind me and I spin so fast I almost fall off the desk. Standing in the hallway is Mr. Berry, his eyes telling me he heard everything. I know he is angry but I can't help but take in the huge bags under his eyes and how shrunk in his face looks, he looks horrible and that just makes me feel worse.

His lips slowly form into a sneer before he backs away across the hallway and slams his door shut. Shit!

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SPOV

I'm walking to the only vegan grocery store in lima as Britt excitedly yaps on and on about how she wants a pair of shoes with wheels on the bottom. I'm losing major girlfriend points right now because I'm not even pretending to listen I'm too focused on what just happened at the house. I feel horrible for Q even though I agreed with everything that she said there could not have been a worse way for it to get out.

When we get to the store I'm instantly angry again when I see a wanted poster for Finn freakin Hudson, that worthless spineless pig. I take a sick pleasure in the fact that it's him and not me on a wanted sign, I'm sure four years ago everyone would have thought I'd be the first one arrested.

After a quick hour me and B are leaving the store with ingredients for an awesome vegan meal I'm sure neither of the Berry's will touch. We see a huge crowd is gathered around the antique store right across the street in the windows seven TV's are on all on the news. We go over to see what's up, what is it another episode of Sue's corner? Didn't they cancel that shit?

My heart instantly stops when I see a picture of Finn on the screen, is squeezing my hand so tight I'm pretty sure at least two fingers are broken. I tune back into the anchorman with the obvious toupee and over the top smile to hear the end of the report "Hudson was seen exceeding limits of 95 miles per hour before he lost control of his red Toyota pickup and wrapped it around a tree, sadly he didn't make it."