Dear Hannah,

So I know you are going to be pissed. But I hope you understand why I am doing this. I have made so many bad choices this year, and maybe this is another one. Only time will tell, but I just feel like this is what I need to do. I am not going to Providence, because you are right Eddie would just come and find me and that would defeat the purpose of all of this. I wish I could look at him and lie, I wish I could pretend that this baby is his and stay but I can't. I just cant. So I am heading in a different direction, to New York. I know what you're thinking but Jessie is there and right now Jessie is what I need. Someone to get my shit together.

I have to think, really think about what I want to do. Do I want to have this baby, that is the big one. Then he possibility, the huge possibility of it being Roosters. Eddie was always so careful, all the years all the girls and no one came up pregnant. I feel it in my bones that Rooster is the father and I don't know what to do. Maybe I wont have the baby at all. Maybe I will get the balls to tell Eddie the truth, and get the paternity test done. Maybe I will wait until the baby is born, maybe then I will know. The same way I knew when Sam was born that Nick was his father. And I think you knew it too Hannah, his eyes his smile, the peanuts. It is all Nick. Don't be afraid to tell them, they both already know and they are just waiting for you Hannah. They are waiting for you to be ok with it.

I am so scared Hannah, so I am running, I know, trust me I know what you are thinking. But it's the only thing I can do, at least until I wrap my head around this. I know I am kind of leaving you to hold the bag with this and I am very sorry for that. I wrote Eddie a letter too, so I hope that helps. I will email you when I get settled in a few weeks. I love you and I going to miss you, You have no idea how much.

- J

Hannah read the letter once, and then again and then once more. She was in complete and utter shock that Janet was gone and she really had no idea where she went. It was a comfort that Jessie was going to be there. The few times Hannah had met Jessie, she realized that she was a stronger, more self-assured version of Janet. Janet always joked that Jessie was two years older, two inches taller and two cup sizes bigger. They had the same curly hair and chubby build, the same blue eyes and thick brows. There was not doubt they were sisters. Jessie worked as a paralegal for a small law firm, she took an interest in law after her divorce. She married young and like most decisions she made in her early twenties, it didn't work out but it did get her a nice settlement and alimony, he ex-husbands family had money and he was in finance. It allowed her to go back to school and live in a small, tiny but expensive apartment Downtown. Hannah liked her, she was quick and funny and brought out a stronger Janet. But she worried that the running, leaving Eddie the way that she did would be the biggest mistake of her life. Hannah sat there staring at the letter, reading the lines about Sam and Nick over and over. Janet was right, the moment Sam was placed in her hands, she knew that Nick was his father. And the last ten years only reinforced that glairing fact. Hannah picked up Eddie's letter, folded it in half and slipped it in her back pocket. She dreaded what was coming next but she knew that her next stop was 32 Gelson.

"Uh, hey Phil is Eddie around?" Hannah stood in the doorway, arms crossed against her chest, a chill in the air despite the early spring.

"Hannah, what in the hell is going on? He came home and stormed up the stairs, I haven't seen him for hours."

"Well Phys, Janet and Eddie broke up again and Janet left town."

"WHAT?!" Phil was in shock, they were just eating pancakes like old times. "I mean… WHAT?"

"I can't really say Phil, not my place really." Hannah just nodded and pointed towards the stairs.

"Yeah head on up."

"Hey Eddie." Hannah pushed open the door and found him sitting on the edge of his bed a beer in hand and empties on the floor.

"Hannah?" He stood surprised that she was standing there.

"Um, I am not really sure how to say this other then to just say it." She took a deep breath "Janet left today, she's gone."

"She left already?" Eddie stood up quickly, his mind racing. "Hannah, you need to come to Providence with me, we have to convince her to come back."

"Eddie, she's not in Providence. She went to New York…" Eddie mouth slacked, she lied to him dead to his face. "She is with Jessie."

"She went to New York? Jessie her sister?" Janet had mentioned Jessie a few times and he had spoken to her on the phone once but her had never met her. "Hannah, tell me the truth what is going on? Why…"

"Eddie, I really can't say but I can give you this, Janet left you a note." Hannah reached into her back pocket and pulled out the letter. Eddie reached up taking it from her, ripping it open. He looked up at Hannah who nodded and closed the door behind her as she left.

Eddie-

Where do I begin, I have made a mess of things and for that I am so very sorry. You deserve someone who makes you happy, and right now I am not that person. I know you are thinking, that I am crazy and wrong but trust me on this guy. I am sorry if I hurt you, it was never my intention. Sometimes I think you are the only person who has ever really seen me, the real me and that I am the only person who has ever really seen you. But right now, I need to do what I am doing. I lied when I told you I was going to Providence, I am going to New York to be with Jessie. I am going to New York because I know you won't find me there, so please don't waste your time and energy trying. Live your life Eddie…

Janet

He stared at the letter, unable to read it again. Anger and sadness building in him. It was turning in to a physical pain, and ache that ran through his entire body. He couldn't believe that Janet would just leave. Just pack her bags and go. It was so out of character, so crazy so unlike the Janet he knew and loved. It was akin to her sleeping with Rooster, something she did out of desperation. What could have possibly have happened in the last twenty four hours that would make Janet so desperate? His mind focused, intent on putting together the pieces of his puzzle. And then like a bolt of lightening he knew.

"Well look who finally made it to NYC! Get your ass in here little sister!" Jessie grabbed Janet in a huge embrace, she had missed her sister the last three years. Phone calls and emails just weren't enough.

"Jessie I am so glad to see you. God I have missed you!"

"Drop your bags kiddo, we got plans…" Janet heart dropped, she really wasn't up for people. "What's that face? Janet what's going on?" As usual Jessie could read her like a book, always knowing when something was up. "This is not a happy visit is it?' Janet shook her head no as tears formed in her eyes.

"Jesus Janet," Jessie was absorbing everything Janet had just told her filling her in on the last two months of her life. "And he has no idea?"

"None."

"You need to tell him Janet, he has the right to know. So does Rooster for that matter, yes he went of the deep end a bit you have known him forever. I mean he is generally a good guy, he had just loved you so long."

"I know, it's just I don't want to deal with any of it I just want to pretend that none of this is even happening."

"That didn't work when Mom and Dad died and its not going to work now. Do you want to have this baby?" Janet shook her head yes. "Ok, so that's one decision made. See easy, peasey. I think we have done enough thinking for tonight " Janet cracked a small smile. "Let's order some food and watch a bad movie from the comfort of my bed. Sound good?

"Jessie that sounds great."

Janet checked her cell phone, she had eight missed calls from Hannah and Eddie. Her battery nearly dead, she clicked the phone off and tucked it into the pocket of her luggage. She would get a new phone tomorrow, a new number, a new start. The idea calmed her. Tomorrow she and Jessie would figure this entire mess out.

"Kiddo, the pizza is here, shake your tail feather."

Hannah heard the banging in her door and she knew it was Eddie. She told Sam to go upstairs and brush his teeth, as she made her way to the door. Sam wanted to protest but his mother was a mess all day and Janet was gone. With slumped shoulders he slowly made his way up the stairs.

"She is pregnant isn't she?!" Eddie exclaimed as he walked into Hannah's house. She was stunned but happy that he put it together so quickly. "That's why she ran off, she was not sure who the father is." The words almost choked him, having to say them out loud.

"Wow Eddie, yes. That's why she left."

"I need Jessie's address Hannah."

"Eddie I don't have it."

"Hannah I am not kidding."

"Either am I, really I don't have it, I have spent all night going thru cards and address books trying to find it." Hannah pointed to her dining room table, cluttered with boxes and papers. "I looked online but Jessie is divorced and I don't remember her married name."

"You really have no clue where she is then?"

"Just New York, Jessie lives in Chelsea I think. Trust me Eddie, had I known she as going to pull this I would have never let her out of my sight! Janet is not thinking clearly, these last few weeks have been so hard on her. You and Rooster. And then finding out she was pregnant today, I think she may have lost her mind a little bit. She was so afraid to tell you, she wasn't sure how you would react after what went down in your hospital room that day. She thinks she is saving everyone the pain of waiting but…"

"Hannah, the baby is mine."

"Eddie, you don't know that."

"Yeah I do. I just paid Rooster a little visit."

"Eddie what did you do?" Hannah looked at his fists, the skin wasn't broken or bruised so that was a good sign. Eddie followed her eye line, realizing what she was thinking.

"I didn't beat him up Hannah, God knows I wanted to and he has it coming. I asked him about what happened that night. Well I demeaned he tell me. I told him that she left town because she was pregnant. That she was out there all alone and that he was partly the cause of that. I just wanted to know if he used a condom or not. But I guess the guilt got to him and he told me what really happened. They never had sex Hannah, she passed out and he let her believe…" The anger was building up in him again. "He wanted to break us up so he could be with her."

"Eddie are you serious right now?" Hannah was in complete and total shock. All of this pain and heartache was all for nothing. "That lying bastard!"

"I am completely serious. I am relieved and angry and so many things right now but all I care about is finding Janet and bringing her home."

"Well I don't know how we are going to do that Eddie. I will keep looking in my boxes for some intel."

"Jessie never lived here right?'

"No, she is a little older then Janet, she was away at school when their parents died. She has been here to visit a few times but that's all." A light bulb went off in Hannah head. "RAY!"

"What about Ray?"

"Jessie and Ray are friends, they used to you know back in the day."

"Ok, now I am questioning Jessie's judgment." Eddie said only half joking.

"Hey!" Hannah said offended.

"I questioned yours too. Do you want to call him or should I?"

"I'll call him. He hates you more then he hates me."

"Ray was a dead end, he said the last time he spoke to her was years ago, right after her divorce and she was living in Brooklyn at the time. He didn't know her married name either."

"Well that's just great, fucking great." Eddie was feeling like a caged animal and tried Janet cell phone again. Her mailbox was full and it went straight to voicemail. "This is crazy Hannah. I am just going to go to New York and…"

"And what Eddie, wander the streets calling out her name. Listen, we are going to find her, let's go down to Providence tomorrow. Her grandparents must have a number for Jessie and they will know her married name." That calmed him, they had a plan.

"What time do you want to go?"

"After I drop Sam off at school. Around nine."

"Ok Hannah, I will see you then."