Three months later…

Darcy had started every morning for the last four months cursing Agent Barton's name. That first morning, it was because she woke up naked and hungover on the roof of the lab. The second, because he had been reassigned. The third, fourth…fiftieth, it was because he hadn't called. Or texted. Or made any contact with her whatsoever.

The fifty-first day, Darcy woke up and immediately ran to the bathroom. By that point, she and Jane were in Tromso – Jane doing science and Darcy pretending to. Darcy just figured all the weird shit they served here was to blame on her nausea. Darcy didn't know how to blame that on Clint, but she would find a way to do so.

The next thirty days followed that pattern. Darcy woke up every morning, puked her guts up, and then continued on about her research assistant business.

And then she and Jane were being shipped back to the States, to participate in some top-secret SHIELD business. They were apparently going to live in Stark Tower (which was wicked cool, in Darcy's opinion).

Darcy spent most of the flight in the bathroom, tossing up her cookies. Gawd, she was so over this.

Another month later…

Since their return to New York, Darcy had been appointed official babysitter to the Avengers. Agent Coulson (who was dead but now wasn't?) was her direct supervisor, so she spent mornings in his office at SHIELD, doing paperwork, and afternoons at Stark Tower in the lab, making coffee and toasting PopTarts.

Darcy woke up that morning to another wave of nausea. Like all the mornings for the last three months, she spent ten minutes in the bathroom, communing with the porcelain god, before getting ready for work.

When she got to SHIELD, Agent Coulson pulled her into his office. "Miss Lewis, I need you to prepare reinstatement papers for a member of the Avengers Initiative. I also need you to set up the mandatory psych eval and prepare housing for Hawkeye. Then I need you to go by Stark Industries to pick up the specs that we need to read over for release."

Darcy mock saluted. "Righty-o, Son of Coul. An R-7752 and a P-59 forms, along with a call to JARVIS?" At his nod, she turned back to her desk. "Wait a second, who is Hawkeye?" she asked as she sat down, digging in a drawer for the proper forms.

Agent Coulson gave her a look that held just a hint of sorrow and a dash of pity. "You probably know him as Agent Barton. He was assigned to your detail in New Mexico at one point.

Shitfuckgoddamnitfuckballsga gmewithaspoon was Darcy's last coherent thought before she started hyperventilating.

Phil Coulson immediately reacted to Darcy's panic attack. He forced her to sit on the floor and put her head between her knees. He coached her through taking deep breaths until she was once more, able to breathe normally.

Then Darcy started crying. Oddly enough, Phil was used to such occurrences, so he pulled out a freshly laundered handkerchief and passed it to her. Darcy blew her nose, and then laid her head on his shoulder as they sat on the floor in silence.

"So…you're pretty good at the breathing thing." Darcy said, breaking the silence. "Wanna be my Lamaze coach?"

Phil smiled and kissed her on the forehead. In the month they had been working together, Darcy Lewis had somehow passed through his emotionless façade and made him almost crack a smile in public more times than he could count. He had watched as Darcy had fetched coffee, forced food down his throat, organized papers, and scared off more junior agents than he would have thought possible. Yet he felt oddly protective of her ever since she had laid form M-9749 across her desk. Especially once he saw the other name on the form. And since that person had been AWOL since the incidents over the summer, Phil felt like it was his duty to help Darcy out through this time in her life. So he gave her a brief smile. "I'll have my assistant check my schedule."

After her daily minor breakdown, Darcy finished off the proper forms, and called JARVIS. Of course, the suite of rooms had already been prepared for Hawkeye. Around 11:00, Darcy dropped one of the forms off at the shrink's office and left the other on Coulson's desk.

When she left SHIELD, Darcy caught a cab to the offices of Stark Industries. While in the back of the cab, she fielded two calls from Senator Brackenthorn's office. That man was determined to use the Avengers as a publicity stunt for his next campaign, and Darcy was determined to keep him from doing so.

"I'm sorry, Senator, but the answer is no. The answer was no yesterday. The answer will be no tomorrow." Darcy said in her most patient voice. She heard a dial tone. Guess she told him!

The cab pulled up at Stark Industries. Darcy waved at the security guards as she made her way up to Pepper's office. "Morning, guys! Is Miss Potts in her office?"

"Sure thing, Miss Lewis. I'll let her know you're coming up."

Darcy sank down in a plush leather chair in front of Pepper's desk while Pepper arranged the files Darcy needed. She wiggled down in the comfy chair, enjoying the brief respite. Darcy was tired, her feet hurt, and she could no longer button her pants. If she wanted to take a power nap in Pepper's office, ain't nobody gonna stop her.

Darcy opened one eye when she heard Pepper turn around. Pepper gave her a mothering look. "Are you okay?"

With that simple question, Darcy burst into tears for the second time that day. "No, I'm not! I'm tired all the time and I can't handle bacon anymore and my pants don't fit and Barton is moving back into the Tower!" she gasped out between sobs.

Pepper came around the desk and squatted beside Darcy's chair. "Honey, it'll be okay." She made soothing noises as Darcy finished her latest crying jag. Once Darcy blew her nose, Pepper smiled. "I can at least remedy one of those problems." She said as she helped Darcy to her feet.

As Pepper led Darcy to the Stark Industries garage, she typed out a quick text to Agent Coulson. Darcy needs day off. Am sending Happy over with package.

"Happy, we're going shopping." Pepper said as she and Darcy slid into the backseat of a Town Car.

Clint picked the wrong time of year to move back to New York. For the month after the attack on the city, he had been sitting on a beach in Baja California, drinking beer and doing not a damn thing. He didn't get dressed, didn't shave, and only showered when he got rank. He cashed in his vacation days and escaped. It gave him time to reevaluate all the events that had happened in the last four months. Surprisingly, it hadn't been his takeover by Loki that gave him the most heartache; it was the memory of a mouthy brunette in New Mexico who blew his mind with her passion and wit.

And now it was fall, and chilly, and Clint didn't really feel like wearing pants and jackets again. But he was here, and back on duty, and he would try not to complain too much about the nip in the air. And he had no way of knowing whether or not he would ever see said brunette again.

Clint sat in the communal kitchen at Stark Towers, eating a BLT and listening to Thor and Tony catch him up on recent events. Bruce and Dr. Foster were in the lab, he was told, and Steve was in the gym. Natasha was on a mission somewhere in South Africa.

Suddenly, JARVIS spoke up. "Mr. Stark, Miss Potts is returning. She asks that everyone be present in the living room when she gets here."

Tony rolled his eyes at the AI. "And what Miss Potts says, goes. To the living room."

Clint followed his teammates out of the kitchen, still not fully familiar with the layout of the Tower yet. They ran into Steve in the hallway, his freshly showered hair still wet. When they got to the living room, Bruce and Dr. Foster were already there – Bruce standing awkwardly by the window, and Dr. Foster in an overstuffed chair by the fireplace. She hopped up, and Thor took her place in the chair. She nestled in comfortably on his lap, while Tony sprawled on the couch. Clint perched on the arm of the couch, still eating his sandwich.

Pepper Potts came in with a flourish, carrying shopping bags and looking as polished as ever. She was a beautiful woman, Clint had to admit, but his tastes went more towards curvy brunettes with a potty mouth.

Tony perked up at the sight of the shopping bags. "Anything good in there? Lingerie? New shoes?"

Pepper gave a light laugh. "Yes to both, actually, but these aren't for me," she said, pointing at the logo on the bag. Tony's look changed to one of understanding, as did the rest of the team's.

Obviously, there was something going on that Clint didn't know about.

Pepper sat the bags down on the floor and leaned over to give Tony a kiss. As she stood back up, she made a Vanna White gesture with her hands. "Lady and gentlemen, I would like to present to you…the Lewis baby bump!"

Clint's mouth went dry as the brunette that had been haunting his thoughts for the last four months came walking in to the room shyly. She had on a swingy black skirt, gray t-shirt, and combat boots (which Clint found oddly sexy, and suddenly he was picturing her wearing just those). His brain went off on tangents until she turned, and he noticed that her silhouette was a little…rounder than the last time he had seen it.

Darcy struck a pose, hands on her hips as she arched her back to show off her now-noticeable bump. Pepper had taken her to a maternity store and convinced Darcy that she could wear those clothes and still look like the badass bitch that she was. So Pepper and Darcy had gone a little crazy, and Darcy ended the afternoon with a trunk full of shopping bags and a pregnancy cookbook that she was just dying to try out.

The combat boots had been an impulse purchase; they reminded Darcy of rooftops in New Mexico and silly drinking games and archers who apparently couldn't work a phone. She told herself, even as she added them to her purchases, that it was stupid to think of him, but she couldn't stop. So she bought them, and put them on in the car, hoping that their badass factor would help offset any nerves she had about debuting her new physical state to the world.

Then, the smell hit her. Darcy covered her mouth, trying desperately not to lose what little lunch she had managed to get down. "Who's eating bacon?" she managed to squeak out before making a mad dash to the bathroom.

Pepper rushed after Darcy as Clint watched his teammates all turned to glare at him, sandwich in hand. "Didn't you see the list?" Steve asked, anger crossing his face. "Bacon is not allowed right now."

Tony made a gleeful noise. "Now Darcy gets to Tase him!"

Jane hopped up out of Thor's lap. "I'll get the crackers and club soda." She pointed at Bruce. "You go get the Febreze." He nodded, and left the room.

Clint looked helplessly at the innocent BLT in his hand. "What list?"

Thor physically picked him up and carried the archer into the kitchen. As Clint was roughly deposited in a chair, Steve stole his sandwich, chucked it in the trash, and pointed at a list written on the whiteboard on the wall.

Smells D. Can't Handle:
Mu shu pork
Bacon
Parmesan cheese
Hamburgers
Bleach
Apple-scented Febreze
Tangerines
Note: causing these smells will result in you getting Tased

"Okay, what the fuck is going on here?" Clint asked, confused. He quickly turned around at the sound of Darcy's voice.

"It's simple. I'm pregnant, morning sickness doesn't just happen in the morning, and it's all your fault." With a tired sigh, she turned and left the room, taking the crackers Jane silently offered her.

Everyone turned to look at Clint. Stunned, mouth agape, he sat in the kitchen chair, trying to wrap his head on what Darcy had just said. Eventually, Bruce nudged him. "You should probably go talk to her," he said quietly, breaking the spell Clint was under.

He fumbled to his feet, hands shaking. "Yeah. I should- yeah."

Bruce was the only one who took pity on the nerve-wracked assassin. "I'll show you the way."

It wasn't exactly her finest moment, but Darcy was proud of how she'd managed her first interaction with Clint. At least she hadn't started crying.

She heard a quiet knock on her door. Tucking her Taser into the waist band of her skirt, she opened it. In front of her, after four months of radio silence, stood the man that she couldn't stop thinking about.

So she Tased him.