Torchwood Academy:

Higher Education

Episode 3

Adaptation

(Part 1)

by That Long-Haired Creepy Guy

Ianto broke eye contact with Jack, who was leaning against the far corner of his desk, as the door to the observatory swung open. Leon Cameron entered, looking morose as always, his feet moving like led weights as he strode over to where they stood. Ianto felt a pang of sympathy for the young man.

Very young, really, Ianto thought to himself as Leon came to a stop.

"You called?" Leon asked, looking back and forth from Jack to Ianto, as though not sure of whom to address first.

Jack smiled at him in a friendly way. "We've got something for you," Jack said. "I had Tosh whip it up with some of the spare tech we have lying around."

Ianto turned at once to retrieve the package lying on Jack's desk. "This," Ianto explained, holding the suit up for Leon to see.

Leon gave the rubber-looking body suit a once over, and his eyes widened disdainfully. "Okay," he began, clearly unnerved. "I'm supposed to wear that?"

"It's a skin suit," Jack explained. "And yes, you're going to wear it."

"Why?" Leon wondered, giving Jack a quick glance before turning back to the fashion atrocity. "It doesn't even look like it'll fit. That thing's gotta be twice the size of me."

"Yes, well, we're hoping that might change in just a moment," Ianto said, growing exasperated. "Just slip it on."

Leon reached out to take the suit from Ianto, but hesitated again. "Wait, here?" he asked, looking around.

"Why not?" Jack wondered, though Ianto saw a sparkle in his partner's eye that suggested he at least understood the fact of why Leon was concerned.

"We're all gentlemen here, aren't we?" Jack continued when Leon didn't respond.

Ianto fought to keep his face straight, and judging by the wink Jack shot him when Leon's back was turned, Jack was well aware of the fact.

Sighing, Leon reluctantly took the suit out of Ianto's hands, pausing afterward for a moment. It was clear he in no way wanted to do this, which only seemed to egg Jack on further. At last, Leon let the suit fall to the floor in a heap, and quickly began scrambling out of the shirt Wren had dug out for him to wear. Ianto watched stiffly the whole time, as did Jack, who wore a much more appreciative expression.

"You know," Jack said casually as Leon kicked off his shoes. "Generally, most species of shapeshifters have a relaxed view toward nudity."

Leon scowled. "Must be the human in me, then," he retorted sourly.

Once naked, Leon shoved both legs into the suit one after the other as quickly as possible. When he was inside it as best as he could manage, Leon rose up and glanced sheepishly at both men, waiting for their approval.

It looked to Ianto like someone had skinned and dyed an elephant's skin and then draped it over Leon like a lumpy curtain.

"Good," Jack said. "Now shapeshift."

Leon frowned. "Into what?"

"Anything," Jack replied. "Pick either one of us if you have to. Just make sure you imagine the clothes along with the body."

"I can't make clothes appear on me," Leon said, but an insistent look from Jack made him try anyway.

Leon focused on Ianto first, whom he just so happened to be facing, and concentrated. Picturing the suit Ianto wore along with his body, Leon felt himself slide into the new form easily.

He was getting better at it.

To his surprise, he felt the suit tighten around him, and go from rubbery to feeling like soft fabric.

"Very good," Jack praised. "Nice!"

Ianto frowned at the compliment, and saw the wheels turning behind Jack's eyes as he looked back and forth between Leon wearing Ianto's body, and the original.

Leon, meanwhile, looked down and saw that his suit was a perfect match for the one Ianto wore.

"How?" he wondered.

"Polymorphic fabric," Jack answered. "The suit is designed to shapeshift along with you, eliminating that pesky problem of not being able to form your own clothing."

Leon gave the suit an appreciative glance. "And it eliminates any need to go clothes shopping," Ianto added, as Leon began shifting again. "Mothers the world over would kill to have one of these."

"Torchwood already has the patent," Jack informed, as Leon finished changing into a perfect match for Captain Jack.

Leon looked down at himself as his fingers played over the World War Two-era coat. "You know what," he said, grinning. "I think the coat works on you."

Jack cocked an eyebrow as Leon shifted into a younger form, closer to that of a nineteen-year old with mixed Chinese ancestry.

"I've been craving Chinese take-out lately," he said by way of explanation.

"Let's see you shift the clothes and nothing else," Jack suggested.

Leon complied by holding his arms up and concentrating. He'd kept Jack's clothes the way they were, save for making them a smaller size. An image formed in his mind, and soon the clothing darkened to black. Leon stood wearing a pair of black jeans and leather jacket with a white t-shirt underneath. The shirt had a T-logo on it.

"I saw it in one of the rooms downstairs," Leon said, holding it out so Jack and Ianto could see. "It looked pretty cool. I guessed the 'T' stands for Torchwood."

"Don't," Ianto advised. "Pretty soon, he'll have us running around all over Cardiff wearing team uniforms."

"Hey, the uniforms were a good idea," Jack bit back playfully.

"Except no one would wear them," Ianto countered. "Not even Lisa."

Leon's face lost some of his smile as a chill descended. "What's the deal with her?" he asked, looking back and forth at them.

Jack looked over at Ianto first before answering. "She's a Cyberman," he explained. "Or used to be one, anyway."

Leon frowned. "You told me that before, but I still don't know what it means."

Ianto looked surprised by this. "You don't know anything about the Cyberman?" he asked, frowning. "The Battle of Canary Wharf? Didn't they program that into you?"

"No," he answered. "Whoever built me must not have thought that was important. That, or it got wiped when I was RetConned."

Ianto stiffened slightly, as though expecting Leon to be mad. "Thank you, by the way," Leon told Ianto, which earned him a surprised look. "That needle you fired into me is why I broke free of my programming. I'd have been wiped out when those basement dwellers broke free, otherwise."

Leon turned to Jack before Ianto had a chance to reply. "Speaking of which," he said quickly. "Has there been any news?"

"Nothing so far," Jack replied. "Odds are, they've gone underground for right now. Eventually, we'll get something. Tosh is monitoring all broadcast channels in the meantime, just in case."

"We expect they'll surface sooner or later," Ianto added. "It's really only a matter of time."

Leon nodded, and became fascinated by his shoes as thoughts of Stacy entered his head.

"While we wait," Jack said, getting his attention again. "Care to join us for a fact-finding mission?"

Leon flinched. "Right now?" he asked, glancing out the observatory glass. "It's already dark."

"Alien threats have little respect for late hours," Ianto retorted with a smirk. "Be grateful it isn't three in the morning."

"Tosh sent us a message a few minutes ago," said Jack, pushing away from his side of the desk. "She detected a small ripple through the Cardiff Rift."

Ianto scowled slightly as Jack stood in front of Leon. "Chances are, it's probably nothing," Jack went on, ignoring the look on Ianto's face. "But I figure it's worth looking into. Wren and Lisa are coming along, too."

"Okay," Leon said nervously, before a thought occurred to him. "Wait, if you think it's nothing, why are Wren and Lisa coming along."

"Because I think it's nothing," Jack replied, as if it were obvious. "If it was something serious, I'd have asked Madame Vastra and Jenny to come instead."

"She'd want to bring Myfanwy," Ianto muttered. "And we all know how well that usually works out."

"Sure," Leon said, trying not to picture the sort of devastation a pterodactyl would cause. "When do we leave?"

"Now," Jack said. "Ianto, get to the garage and get the SUV warmed up. I'll be along in just a minute."

Ianto didn't look thrilled at the idea of leaving Leon alone with Jack, but did as he was told. Once the door was shut, Jack put both hands on Leon's shoulders and turned him until they were standing face-to-face.

"I promise you," he said in a gentle voice. "We're going to find the people responsible for all this."

Leon swallowed hard. This close to Jack, it was hard to forget that he'd kissed the man not too long ago. Mind you, that had been so Jack could revive him. Leon still hadn't gotten the man to explain how that worked.

"How are you handling things?" Jack asked, snapping Leon out of his rather heated thoughts momentarily.

"Good," Leon answered, a little too fast. "I mean, I think I'll be okay."

Jack looked less than convinced.

"I'm only a couple of weeks old," Leon reminded him. "I guess I'm just not old enough to worry about things like how I was born, or the fact that everyone I knew was killed recently."

Jack wasn't buying it, and let Leon know with a look. "It's called regression," he explained, turning around to retrieve something from his desk. "When a person experiences an extreme emotional trauma, they can sometimes retreat into themselves."

"But I haven't retreated," Leon protested. "I'm right here."

"You're acting like a disaffected teenager," Jack pointed out, approaching Leon again with a flat box in each hand. "Which, I guess, makes sense considering they aged you to where you resembled one physically. Right now, you're living in a state of denial about what happened. Pretty soon, all that emotion will come back to haunt you."

Jack waited as his words settled into Leon. "Right now, though, we have a job to do, and I need to know whether or not you can handle it."

Leon hesitated before giving Jack a very stiff nod. "I can handle it," he said. "I am handling it, in my own way."

Jack smiled sadly, and opened the box up. Inside were the twin Smart Guns Leon had stolen before.

"They seem to have reprogrammed themselves to match your specific DNA," he said. "I figure we might as well get some use out of them."

Leon raised both hands to retrieve them, but the Smart Guns were one step ahead. Before his fingers could come near the box, the Smart Guns flew through the air into Leon's hands. Flinching, he looked each weapon over for a moment before meeting Jack's eyes.

"Are you sure it's such a good idea to arm someone you claim is emotionally disturbed with high-tech alien weaponry?"

Jack shrugged as he snapped the box shut. "I've made worse decisions," he said flippantly. "But I guess we'll find out once we get you out into the field."

Leon stared incredulously as Jack strode calmly toward the door. "Are things always this screwed up around here?"

"It used to be a lot worse," Jack replied, waiting at the door for Leon to catch up. "The guy they left in charge before me ended his term by killing everyone."

Leon paled as Jack raced off down the steps.

"Way to inspire the troops, Commander," he quipped, before tentatively following after.

{} {} {} {} {}

"We should have taken the bus," Wren muttered under his breath as a car in the lane next to theirs honked loudly.

"We can't take the ship out each time there's an emergency," Jack said as the SUV inched forward. "Chulla warships burn a lot of fuel, and that stuff's not easy to come by."

Leon was sitting in the backseat, sandwiched between Wren and Lisa. Lisa was facing forward, staring into the back of Ianto's head as he sat impatiently in the driver's seat. Leon half-expected laser beams to come flying out of her eyes and drill holes in the spots where she was staring. The thought made him squeamish.

To his right, Wren was staring out the window at the row of cars boxing them in while tapping his fleshy hand against a knee.

"Welcome to Torchwood," he told Leon, giving him an aside glance for a second. "Who knew that top-secret alien hunting organizations had to contend with traffic."

"I can remove the obstacles in approximately seventeen point six seconds," Lisa said, still facing the back of Ianto's head. "Assuming I get a running start."

"Stay in your seat, Lisa," Ianto ordered her. "We'll be out of here momentarily."

"Right," Jack said, pulling a cell phone out from his coat pocket. "I think it's time to call in the big guns."

Leon blinked. "Is he actually going to shoot our way out of here?" he whispered, leaning over toward Wren now.

"Not quite," Wren replied, grinning. "But something even better."

Leon could hear the phone ringing now. "Your Majesty," Jack said, as flirtatious as ever.

In the rearview mirror, Leon could see Ianto rolling his eyes. "We've run into a small problem," Jack was saying now. "Yes, Torchwood detected some minor Rift activity. Our computer expert pinpointed it to a spot in the Atlantic Wharf, but traffic's bumper to bumper all over the place. Do you think you can get us clearance?"

Wren was snickering as Leon's eyes doubled, realizing just who Jack was speaking with on the phone.

"He did not just put in a call to the Queen," he said.

"He did," Lisa answered. "I imagine she will not be happy if this turns out to be a false alarm."

"Torchwood is an independent organization," Wren explained. "Technically, we only take orders from the Queen herself."

Something about the way that was phrased made Leon frown. "What do you mean, 'technically'?" he asked.

"What the Queen doesn't know won't hurt her," Lisa replied, giving Leon a look at long last, which made him shiver slightly.

Robot or not, there was something uncanny about her eyes, Leon thought.

Up in the front passenger seat, Jack put his phone away with a satisfied smirk. "Two minutes," he declared.

"I guess we're supposed to wait until then," Ianto noted, before looking toward Jack. "Unless you've got a new pen for me that can get us out of this mess faster?"

Less than two minutes later, traffic was moving forward. As Ianto pulled past the traffic light, he saw a PC waving them forward.

"Efficient," Jack noted. "And with six seconds to spare, no less."

Leon held on to his seat as the SUV sped forward, turning into a sharp curve that made the tires squeal. All but Lisa were holding on for their lives. As the vehicle straightened out and picked up speed, a light on the floor between Jack's boots flashed momentarily.

Leon saw it, and looked into Jack's shadowed face a moment before speaking. "This might not be the best time," he said, getting the man's attention. "But I've been wondering about this since we left. Why did you bring a severed hand on this mission?"

Jack didn't look at him. "Don't ask," Wren whispered quickly in his ear. "Seriously, whatever it is, he doesn't like to talk about it. But he takes it along with him almost every time he leaves the Academy."

"It belongs to a friend," Jack answered, loud enough to let them both know he could hear them over the racing motor. "I'm keeping it safe until I can return it."

Leon narrowed his eyes. "You're keeping a severed hand inside some sort of big glass tube with wiring and some sort of clear liquid inside just so you can return it to the friend who lost it?"

Wren leaned away from Leon slightly, as though expecting an explosion. "They must have been some friend," Leon went on, unwilling to let the subject drop.

Jack didn't reply, and from his silence, Leon was able to determine he had no intention of answering any further questions. Ianto eased some of the tension in the vehicle by turning sharply onto a side road. As they did, Leon spotted another PC officer waving away traffic so they could move through.

"How did she arrange all this so fast?" he wondered, starring past Lisa out her window.

"The Queen Mother moves fast for an old bird," Wren said. "When she wants to, anyway."

"Show some respect," Jack admonished, though he said nothing more on the matter.

It wasn't very long before they found the spot where Tosh had detected the Rift disturbance. The location was programmed into the GPS, but Wren spotted it anyway. Mind you, the numerous police cars with flashing strobe lights, bomb squad van, and fire trucks were a fairly huge clue.

"I think we've found it," Wren stated.

Lisa looked past Leon at him. "How did you guess?"

"Everyone out," Jack instructed as Ianto brought the Torchwood vehicle to a stop. "Don't let them try and stop you from crossing the lines. We have clearance to be here. Just keep moving and do your jobs, people."

"Right," Wren joked, holding the door open so Leon could get out next. "So you want Ianto to hang back and make everyone here coffee."

"Give me twenty minutes," Ianto replied, unfazed, "and I can have everyone here lattes."

Leon snickered as he climbed out into the street. Wren shut the door, and held him by the arm as the others moved on ahead.

"Hold it there," he told Leon, before letting him go. "I got some advice for you."

Leon smiled as he turned to face him. "Okay," he said, feeling a little silly. "What sort of advice?"

"The best kind," Wren replied. "Don't worry about screwing up."

Leon waited a moment in case there was more. "That's it?" he wondered.

"Everyone screws up their first mission," Wren explained. "Don't let it slow you down. The point is to get up and keep going."

"Just like that?" Leon pressed, moving around Wren so he could catch up to the others. "You can set your watch to this sort of thing?"

"Always," he replied, keeping in step. "We even take bets on it. The odds for you are that it'll hit somewhere within the first hour or so."

"It's such a wonderful relief to know everyone is giving me the biggest vote of confidence," Leon retorted sarcastically.

"We are," Wren insisted, checking something on his robotic cylinder. "Early screw-ups are pretty mild, comparatively speaking. When you blow it near the end, somebody usually dies."

"I see," said Leon as they reached the police barrier. "You sound like an authority on this sort of thing. Care to explain what your screw-up was like?"

"Didn't have one," Wren said coolly as he reached into his front pocket for his Torchwood badge. A cop was already moving to stop them, but slowed as he saw the emblem Wren was flashing him.

"But Lisa almost brought a roof down on our heads," he went on, pocketing the badge again. "And I hear Ianto caused some kind of big to-do in the Academy basement back when he first joined, so it happens."

The others were waiting for them at the edge of a smoldering indention in the ground. It looked like something had landed in the middle of the road and uprooted most of the asphalt. Captain Jack was punching at the vortex manipulator on his wrist. Now that they were closer, Leon could see that the inside of the small crater held what looked like a great big scorched boulder.

"Space rock?" he guessed, coming up beside Lisa.

"Meteorite," Lisa corrected. "However, a meteor shower was not reported. This came through the Rift."

"High levels of tachyon and chronomorphic particles," Jack said, studying the readings on his manipulator. "This thing came down hot, alright. I'm surprised it didn't make more of a splash on the Rift sensors considering the readings I'm getting."

"How does a rock come through the Rift?" Leon wondered, keeping his voice low to avoid being overheard by the police and other city officials.

"It's probably just random space junk," Ianto explained for him. "Occasionally, debris washes up in Cardiff just like stuff ends up on the South Wales shoreline. Wherever this thing was before it arrived here, the Rift swallowed it up and spat it out in our backyard."

"Probably was just in the wrong place at the wrong time," Jack mused. "But since we got here before UNIT, it's Torchwood property."

"UNIT?" Leon asked, looking from Wren to Ianto.

"UNIT's this other alien hunter group," Wren obliged when Ianto didn't respond. "They work for the United Nations, and chase down alien stuff too. Usually, we're racing to get to whatever shows up before they can."

"Terrific," Leon muttered, as Jack motioned for them to approach the space rock behind him. "I've gotten myself into an intergalactic pissing contest."

The rock was still hot. Leon could feel the heat coming off it, and his first thought was that it was radioactive.

"The radiation levels aren't high enough right now for us to worry," Jack said, as though anticipating Leon's panic. "I still wouldn't touch it, though."

The group began to split up and, not knowing who to stick with, Leon opted to follow Wren around one side while Jack and Ianto came around from the other way. Lisa stood guard several steps back in case something happened. Leon had the feeling that, despite Jack's reassurances that it was nothing but ordinary space debris, they were all waiting for something bad to happen.

Unfortunately, it did, but not from anywhere Leon was expecting.

Wren was in the lead, doing a scan of his own with his robotic cylinder hand, when it happened the first time. There was no warning whatsoever. One moment, Leon felt fine. The next, his whole body jerked.

Leon couldn't remember if he'd ever had hiccups before. He wasn't sure that the people who made him, whoever they were exactly, had bothered programming such a thing into him. Apparently, half-alien hybrids could get them, though, and these were especially painful. It almost felt like he'd shapeshifted, only a whole lot faster and harder.

Then Leon looked down at himself, and saw he was wearing a PC uniform.

Another hiccup shook his whole body, and he was dressed like one of the firemen hanging back near the edge of the scene.

"Oh, shit," Wren swore, punching several buttons on his holo display. "I've got life readings coming out of this thing."

Leon hiccuped, and saw he was back to normal. "What?" he asked, before taking in a deep breath.

"Life readings," Wren said, looking over his shoulder at Leon. "There's something alive inside this chunk of hot rock."

Tears formed at the edges of Leon's eyes as he struggled to hold his breath and not hiccup again.

Wren frowned. "You okay, mate?"

Slowly, Leon exhaled. "What do the readings say?" he asked, moving in close to get a look at the holographic display projecting out of Wren's hand. "I mean, are there aliens that normally travel by meteorite?"

Wren snorted. "At this point, I'll believe anything," he said, hitting a button to close the screen. "Better tell the captain and his tea boy, though. They'll need to hear this."

Leon started to nod, then felt himself hiccup. Looking himself over, he saw he was wearing a bright red dress and high heels now. He was also in a woman's body.

"Where did this come from?" he wondered aloud, hiccuping yet again into his former body.

"Say something?" Wren asked, turning around.

"Nothing," Leon answered far too quickly for even his comfort. "False alarm. Let's go tell Captain Jack about... whatever you found in this thing."

There were no more hiccups as they rounded the space rock to meet with Jack and Ianto, much to Leon's great relief. Jack was attempting to get further scans from the rock using his vortex manipulator when Wren stood before him with his own scan information displayed holographically.

"See?" Wren insisted.

Jack looked it over, then gave the device on his wrist a shake. "You're supposed to be top of the line 51st century technology," he scolded at the machine. "How does something as advanced as you get bested by an A-level's science project."

"Because you weren't looking for life signs," Ianto reminded. "You were scanning for Rift energy and time particles."

Jack gave Ianto a withering glare, which he accepted unflinchingly. "Apologies, sir," Ianto replied, looking away slowly.

"There's something alive in this thing," Wren insisted. "My scanners don't lie."

Jack was already ignoring Wren by messing with his manipulator again. "I'm sending a signal to Tosh," he told everyone. "She can have Vicar Bray out here with Gunther ready to load this thing up in twenty."

"What do we do with it?" Leon wondered. "It's just a big space rock."

"We take it back to the Academy," Jack replied, "lock it up in a containment unit, and see what's inside. If it's dangerous, we take care of it. If not..."

"Send it back home?" Leon offered.

The look Jack gave him was positively scalding. "We're not a taxi service," he said to Leon fiercely. "Torchwood doesn't give rides to aliens anywhere. If it lands on our turf, we claim it and try to use it as best we can."

Leon raised a hand, and one of the Smart Guns flew into it. He hadn't meant to summon the device. It seemed to react to his body on its own.

"I see," he said, letting the gun go to float back to the holster on his hip. "I guess that explains why I'm here, then."

Leon waited off to the side while Jack phoned for assistance in moving their prize. Wren took point beside Lisa, who kept watching him as though she were expecting him to attack. The rest of the police and other officials were giving them an awful lot of berth. Leon noticed all of them kept looking from one Torchwood member to another. No one seemed especially pleased that they were there.

When the hiccups started again, they came in rapid succession. Leon felt himself go from a bomb squad member to another cop, and from that to an old lady he'd seen on a street not far from the Academy a couple of days ago. Leon had no idea whose body he'd taken the form of until he saw his face reflected in the nearby hood of a police vehicle.

Before he even had time to panic and wonder if anyone had seen him shapeshift, a burly-looking cop with a pot belly came up from behind and lightly seized him by the shoulder.

"Ma'am," he said gently, but firmly. "I'm afraid this is a restricted area. Would you mind explaining how you came to be here?"

Leon opened his mouth, racing for some sort of answer, and hiccuped yet again. Back in his old body once more, he almost leaped for joy, but then registered the look of sheer horror on the cops face. The man jerked his hand back as though scalded.

His eyes doubled in size in under a second. "The hell...?"

Leon reacted without thinking. The Smart Gun was in his hand and primed before he could stop himself. The cop saw it fly into his hand, and went sickly pale. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he stepped back.

"That's it," the cop whispered, backing away from Leon now as though he'd just seen a ghost. "I'm never drinking while on the job again. This time, I'm getting a sponsor and sticking to the program."

Leon was left standing there with his Smart Gun still in hand, feeling a bit bemused by the turn of events.

"That was unexpected," he muttered to himself, reluctantly letting the gun go. "Though I suppose I should be thankful it didn't get worse."

Lisa and Wren were coming toward him now. "Why were you holding your gun?" she asked, looking down at the Smart Gun now sticking to the side of his pants. "There is no reason for anyone here to die. I'm sure Ianto could RetCon them all with relative ease."

"False alarm," Leon said, keeping his breath steady in the hopes that it would stave off any more hiccups.

"We just heard the news," Wren said. "Vicar Bray and Gunther are bringing a flatbed hauler to take the space rock back to the Academy."

Leon nodded, afraid to answer, but then a question entered his mind. "Torchwood has a flatbed hauler?"

"It's a rental," Wren explained.

The police were already clearing a path for the flatbed to drive up to the crater. Gunther had climbed out before the hauler could come to a complete stop.

"Okay," Leon said, watching alongside Wren and Lisa as Jack began giving instructions to what looked like the policemen in charge. "We've got a rented flatbed to take the space rock back with us. Any idea how we're going to get that thing up there without a crane?"

"Cranes are too expensive," Wren said. "Plus, you need a special license to drive one of those. Jack's probably going to have us load the thing up by hand."

Leon glared. "You're really getting into me being the new guy, aren't you?"

Wren laughed as Lisa moved silently through the scattered rubble that had once been the city street to join Vicar Bray and Gunther, who were standing in front of Jack listening to his orders.

"We've got a robot girl," he began pointedly, "a caveman, a giant wasp that can carry heavy loads, and a teen genius."

Leon looked over at Ianto and frowned. "I'm pretty sure Ianto is out of his teens," he said. "None of the teenagers I went to school with wore a suit, not unless they were forced into it. The school uniforms were bad enough. And who said I'm a genius?"

"Ha-ha," Wren retorted. "I meant me."

Leon was taken aback by this statement. The others, meanwhile, were encircling the crater, preparing to move it.

"You're supposed to be a teen genius?" he asked, looking back at Wren.

"Who do you think built this?" Wren asked, holding his cylinder hand up for emphasis. "I had to construct it myself after I lost the real one. Not an easy thing to do with only one hand, just so you know."

"How did you lose your hand?" he asked.

Leon noticed that the police and others had vacated the area, presumably on Jack's orders. Vicar Bray was swirling in a mist of purple haze, resuming his Vespiform shape, while Gunther and Lisa took point in perpendicular corners of the space rock.

"There was a fire," Wren replied, as Jack began ordering the others to get ready to lift. "Most of me got out alive, so I should be thankful for that."

Wren watched the rest of the group work for a moment. "Come on," he said. "We should be helping them out instead of standing here."

While they were talking, the others had somehow rigged up a set of support wires around the space rock, securing them like a net. Vicar Bray was flying in wasp form above it, ready to lift the rock straight into the air. Luckily, the other cops were far enough away to where they couldn't get a clear view of what was going on. Jack had evidently gotten them to back away.

That, or none of them wanted to be anywhere near the thing when it was air-lifted. Leon couldn't help but wonder if, considering the implications Wren had made earlier, some of them weren't familiar with the sort of stuff Torchwood dealt with.

The rock was moving now, straight up into the air. Gunther and Lisa were helping to keep it stabilized while Bray strained against the weight to move it over toward the flatbed. Jack was keeping tabs on the situation while Ianto directed them from on the ground. Wren and Leon took spot beside the captain and observed the situation.

"So this was a typical Torchwood day, huh?" Leon asked him, while the others went on about their business. "A piece of space debris lands in Cardiff, and we're on the job to make sure nothing goes wrong."

"Pretty much," Jack said, watching them work with a smile on his face.

"Sometimes, things don't always go this easy," Wren added warningly, as the boulder swung over the back of the hauler.

The moment Wren finished speaking, one of the cable wires snapped. The sound reminded Leon of a gunshot, even though he'd never actually heard one before. The broken cable swung out like a whip as the weight distributed to one side hard, causing Vicar Bray to loose his balance. The space rock swung back and forth like a pendulum before the other wires came free all at the same time. The result caused the rock to fly through the air away from the flatbed to the ground in an arc.

There was a sick cracking sound as it impacted against the concrete.

"I didn't say it," Leon insisted quickly, pointing at Wren. "It was him!"

"Thanks a lot, mate," Wren grumbled.

Whistling filled the air like steam escaping from a hot kettle. Cracks in the space rock formed, and from them, white smoke spat out in all directions. Gunther and Lisa were already backing far away. Vicar Bray landed on top of the flatbed and quickly changed back to his human disguise.

"It just broke free on me," he shouted apologetically over the noise. "I'm so sorry, Jack."

Jack was looking at the space rock with growing fear. Ianto came running over to stand at his man's side. The steam escaping from the rock was intense now. Even from the safe distance Leon assumed they were at, he could feel it in the air.

Then, it stopped.

Everyone stayed exactly where they were. Jack was the first one to move, going for his vortex manipulator. Wren followed suite, checking the scanner on his robotic cylinder. Leon stood there, feeling a tad useless while the other two worked, though he wasn't the only one doing so.

"Quite remarkable," Gunther commented.

"High-pressure gas escaping," Lisa replied in a dour tone of voice. "Hardly something to get excited about."

"Then why did you back up?" Leon wondered.

Lisa cut him a sharp glare. "It could have exploded," she responded. "The smaller debris would have been hazardous."

"Of course."

"Agreed," Gunther said, observing the rock now. "'Explosions are not comfortable.' Yevgeny Zamyatin."

Even Lisa looked put-off by this. "That's it?" Leon wondered. "That's the best you can come up with in this kind of situation?"

"There are surprisingly few quotable references to draw from that concern explosions," Gunther replied. "Believe it or not."

"We need to take you out to an action film sometime," Vicar Bray said.

"Nothing," Jack declared, getting their attention. "According to this, nothing has changed."

"I'm still getting life readings," Wren confirmed. "Though they're a little faint now. Let's hope none of that gas was poisonous."

"If it was, we'd be dead by now," Jack said calmly.

Movement came from behind them. Everyone turned to see one of the older officers coming toward them now, looking wild-eyed.

"What the fuck was that?" he demanded. "You could have heard that racket all the way down on the other side of the Wharf."

"Small accident," Jack explained, keeping his cool. "Nothing to worry about. Just..."

Jack never got to finish his sentence. The topmost part of the boulder exploded abruptly, cutting him off. Something flew out from the opening there. None of them got a chance to see what it was, but the thing shot straight up into the air high above the surrounding buildings before catching a gust of wind, and sailing off deeper into town.

"Saints preserve," Leon heard the cop whisper.

The others were still watching the sky, but Leon and Wren were looking at the hole in the boulder where the thing escaped through.

"That can't be good," Wren said.

"Wren," Jack barked. "Scan, now."

Wren was already on it. "Nothing, sir," he said, after a moment. "Zero life signs. Whatever we detected inside that thing, it's gone now."

"The hell is going on?" the cop demanded, looking from one to the other. "Are you nutters trying to tell me you let a space alien loose into Cardiff."

"Sir," Ianto said, reaching into his front pocket for one of his ornamental pen. "I assure you, we have the situation under control. My advice is that you forget about it."

The cop looked unconvinced. "Everything under control, huh?" he spat back. "Is that right? And just what makes you think I'm going to forget about any of this?"

"This," Ianto said, holding his pen up. "Don't worry, though. It will only sting for a second."

Pointing the pen at the officer, Ianto frowned as the tip glowed a light blue color and emitted a high-pitched noise.

"Sorry," Ianto said quickly, stuffing the pen back into his pocket and retrieving another one. "Sorry, that one's new. This is the one I wanted."

Before the cop could comment, a near-invisible needle flew from the pen's tip and into the neck of the cop. The officer's eyes fluttered for a moment as he staggered. Leon noticed the needle was beginning to dissolve. He remembered the sensation vividly, and didn't envy how the cop would feel once he regained consciousness.

"Perhaps you ought to number those?" Gunther suggested.

"Come on," Jack ordered, taking command. "We've got work to do. Gunther, you and Bray take the rock back to headquarters so Tosh can examine it. When you get there, tell Madame Vastra and Jenny to meet up with us. Lisa, stay here and give them a hand. You can catch up with us once you're done. Ianto, go with Gunther and Bray. Make sure nothing else happens to that rock."

"Sir," Ianto answered, nodding.

Lisa nodded once in the affirmative before joining Gunther and Bray. "Well Leon," Jack said, turning to him and Wren. "It looks as though you'll be getting some action after all."

Leon tried not to blush, and hoped his hiccups were gone for good.

{} {} {} {} {}

"How is a lizard woman supposed to meet us downtown without causing a riot?" Leon asked.

Wren and Jack had already climbed out of the SUV, and were moving down toward a street corner. Leon jogged a few steps to catch us as Wren began fiddling with his sensors.

"Silurian," Wren corrected, not looking behind him. "Not lizard woman. And do yourself a favor by not saying that to her face."

"How long were you in the infirmary for?" Jack asked, stopping to lean against a lamp post.

"Six hours," Wren admitted, though he sounded contrite at Jack's asking. "She told me the beating would help me remember."

"At least Jenny showed up to pull her off you," Jack said laughing. "Otherwise, you'd have been in there a lot longer."

Leon waited as the conversation dwindled. "Are we waiting on the alien or Madame Vastra?" he wondered. "Because I doubt the alien is just going to wander down the sidewalk past us."

"You never know," Jack said seriously.

"This is as good a place to start as any," Wren explained, still sweeping the area with the scanner built into his hand. "Whatever came out of that space rock flew this way. There is a possibility that it could pass over us, assuming it was actually flying."

"Plus, moving around means that it will take Vastra, Jenny, and Lisa longer to catch up with us," Jack added. "Once they get here, and Wren locates this thing, we can track it."

Leon mulled this over for a moment as he watched Wren work. "Any luck?" Jack asked, watching Wren closely.

Wren shook his head in frustration. "I thought I'd have better luck doing a sweep looking for the tachyon particles from the crash site, but there's interference. Hold on and I'll see if I can't pinpoint it."

Wren looked directly at Leon a moment later. "It's coming off of you," he said flatly. "You're body is packed with the energy from the crash."

Leon blinked. "How can that be?" he asked, frowning. "I didn't get any closer to the rock than you guys did. I didn't even touch it, I swear."

"If you'd touched it back then, the flesh might have burned off your hand," Jack replied. "That thing came down hot."

"Step back a second," Wren advised, messing with some of his controls.

Leon obliged, and a moment later, Wren nodded. "That confirms it," he said, looking toward Jack. "The interference was coming from him."

Jack saw the look of near-panic on Leon's face. "It's probably because you're a shapeshifter," he reassured quickly. "Most organic lifeforms attempt to adjust to their environments. Being a shapeshifter, and not very old, your body is still learning how to adjust to new things that it encounters. Storing the energy was the first thing that occurred to it."

"And that's just the thing I need," Wren declared, pointing his hand at Leon now. "If they carry the same energy signature, all I have to do is scan for an organic lifeform with the same particle trace. This shouldn't take but a second."

Leon stared slack-jawed at Wren, who was completely ignoring him. "What's going to happen to me?" he demanded. "Am I going to sprout a second head, or have some kind of time cootie infection?"

That got Wren and Jack's attention. "Time cooties?" Wren asked, his finger stuck in mid-motion of pressing a button.

"Seriously," Jack said, trying not to laugh too much. "Have you noticed anything unusual since we got to the crash site?"

"Like... what?" Leon asked.

Jack started to give Leon a suspicious look, but two young women chose to walk past at that very moment. The traffic light changed just as they reached the sidewalk's edge, allowing them to cross the street. Jack watched both go the whole time.

"I thought you..." Leon started to asked.

His words were cut off as another hiccup fit kicked in. "...were," he tried, shifting into the first girl.

"...with..." he spat out, changing into her friend.

"Ianto!"

Leon finished by shifting into Wren. "Okay, I seem to have a slight case of hiccups," he confessed rapidly, before more came. "And a problem with my shapeshifting."

Two more hiccups shook his body, changing him first into Jack again, then knocking him back into his old body, but with platinum blonde hair.

"The two may or may not be connected," he finished.

"I'd say there's a distinct possibility," Jack surmised, while Wren went back to work.

Jack straightened up, giving Leon his full attention now. Leon tried to maintain his composure as he felt Jack look right through him. Around them, pedestrian traffic continued as though nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

"This might not be the best time," Leon spoke, hating how sheepish his voice sounded. "But I just switched bodies and genders several times. Also, Wren is tapping away on a holographic computer console that is being projected out of his robotic hand."

"'How is no one noticing this?'" Jack offered, beating him to the punch. "That's the usual question people have."

"Right," said Leon, feeling a little better. "Are we all under some kind of... what did you call it before? A perception field?"

"Only the Academy has that," Jack said. "It's perception field is generated from a square slab of concrete. We used a little bit of future tech to Gerry-rig it so that the field is projected all over the grounds."

"How does a slab of concrete generate a perception field?"

Leon noticed a look in Jack's eyes as he spoke, like the man was suddenly uncomfortable. "Who knows?" the man replied evasively. "Were I to wager a guess, I'd say that something once landed in Cardiff that carried perception filter abilities. An event could have occurred, causing some of those properties to rub off on the piece of concrete said artifact was resting on at the time."

Leon cocked an eyebrow at him. "That's just your guess, huh?"

"It's a theory," Jack replied. "To answer your earlier question, the Rift has been active for thousands of years. People in Cardiff are used to weirdness, even if they aren't always consciously aware of it."

Jack's phone rang as Wren let out a triumphant shout. "Yes!" he declared. "Damn, I'm good. I know where our alien is now."

"Thanks, Tosh," Jack said, closing his phone. "So do I. Tosh intercepted an emergency call to the cops. Apparently, there's some weird activity going on in a club not too far from here. Madame Vastra and Jenny have already been told to meet us there."

"Let's go," Wren said.

"I've got the front seat this time," Leon called out, hiccuping into the shape of an old man that just happened to be going in the opposite direction.

"Not on your life, old man," Wren quipped.

"Boys," Jack said warningly. "Don't make me separate you two."