...
The elevator dinged the penthouse; the doors opened and as Angel walked off the cart, he was body slammed against the wall.
His ribs protested in utter agony, eyes barely focusing as he fought to stay upright.
"Buffy! Stop! What the hell are you doing! He's hurt!" Dawn yelled quickly, seeing her sister about to stake Angel.
"Angel's dead! He's soulless, he needs to die." Buffy yelled back to her sister, desperate for her to understand.
'Huh? She thinks I'm dead?'
Angel pulled consciousness back enough to focus on Buffy.
"Ahh Buffy, is there a particular reason you have a stake pointed at me? I mean 250 years as a vampire gave me enough anxiety about wood being aimed at my heart, and having a chunk of your bedroom wall impaling me really didn't help alleviate it either."
Buffy stood stone still, almost afraid to move, if she did, it might be an autopilot staking.
"Angel?" she questioned, still unsure if this was some trick Angelus was playing.
His eyes stayed glued to the shaft of wood in her hand a moment, then slowly moved to look into her eyes.
"I'm right here Buffy. I'm alive. Feel." He finished by offering her his wrist, "It's not a trick, feel my pulse, feel my warmth. I'm not dead."
She wanted to, she really wanted to. But what if it was a trick, what if as soon as she took the pressure off, he attacked her.
His open palm was so inviting, she reached out before she make the decision to do it.
Taking a huge risk, he grasped her hand when it moved forward, knowing full well if he made the wrong move, he'd be really, really dead.
She jumped back as she felt his hand close over hers, the stake tightened in her grip, and then it loosened as she felt the warmth in his fingers.
She moved her digits until they settled over his wrist, she felt the worry induced quick thump, thump, thump just under the skin.
As she pulled back, releasing him from against the wall, a tear slipped down her cheek. "Angel?" she asked, for the first time really seeing him.
He looked down into her eyes as she ran her fingers over his cheek.
Instead of answering, he pulled her against him, her face pressed against his chest as her arms encircled his waist. The heat from his body surrounded her, his heartbeat thumped against her cheek. She squeezed herself against him, never wanting to let him go, afraid if she did he would disappear.
When Buffy's grip tightened, Angel felt his ribs grind in agonizing detail. He gasped and couldn't stop the moan that escaped his lips.
Buffy jumped back, "Angel? What...oh your ribs!" She exclaimed, just now remembering his wounds. "I'm sorry, here." She grabbed his left arm and place his hand on her shoulder, then wrapped am arm around his lower back, leading him towards her apartment.
"I'm so sorry." She winced, seeing his suddenly pale face.
"It's alright." he forced out, fighting to remain conscious after such a taxing day for someone who should still be in the hospital.
...
Dawn sighed in relief when her sister snapped back to her senses before a disaster happened in the hallway. She quickly ran ahead to open the door and get the medical supplies out.
...
Once inside, Angel collapsed down on Buffy's bed as her and Dawn stripped off his jacket and shirt and worked to check his injuries.
The couch had suffered fatal blows due to Hexlar smashing it while trying to crush Angel and the love seat was too small for the tall man to lay on comfortably, so the bed was the only other logical choice to put him.
Buffy was thankful she had yet to order the new couch...it meant having Angel in her bed.
His ribs were sore and bruised, but thankfully neither could find any new breaks or cracks, just the older half-healed ones.
Buffy quickly re-bound his ribs while Dawn talked Angel into swallowing a few pills she found in the prescription bottle in his coat.
After a few minutes, Angel began nodding off, stress and fatigue catching up.
"Lay down." Buffy urged when she finished binding his chest, seeing him fighting to stay awake.
He started to argue, but Buffy shut him up by pressing her lips to his.
She wrapped her arms around his shoulder, leaned forward and pushed him down, forcing him to lie back as she lowed him.
In response, he pulled her off balance, bringing her down with him. Luckily she was able to navigate away from his bruised ribs and land beside him.
Dawn quickly slipped out of the room before she saw any more of them than she ever wanted or needed to.
When the kiss ended and they were left panting for breath, he spoke, "Getting my heart racing really isn't the best 'go to sleep' method."
She smiled beside him, already seeing his body react to being horizontal...and not in a sexual way. "Like you wouldn't pass out before things got really interesting..." She countered, knowing in his current state of pain and exhaustion, he wasn't about to get far beyond first or second base.
"Interesting how?" He asked with a smirk, wondering if that kiss meant what he hoped it did.
"I dunno, something like this maybe?" She told him before her lips fell over his again.
His free hand came up, caressing the back of her neck and drawing her closer while the cast hand ran along her side.
Her hands tangled in his hair and slid across his defined cheeks, her lips hungrily devouring his.
For two weeks she had thought of nothing but this, his hot mortal body under her as they finally got to be together consequence free. The week of thinking him dead made her desire flair even more. He was here, with her, alive and well...mostly well.
She pulled back a little, suddenly feeling guilty over provoking him towards something he couldn't do, at least not without massive amounts of pain and possible re-injury.
"I love you." he whispered into her ear as he kissed along her face.
A tear slipped down her cheek, those words entering her very soul.
She cupped his cheek in her hand, caressing the day old stubble, "I love you." She repeated back, having wanted to say those words for weeks now.
Their lips met again, passion filling them.
...
Buffy awoke feeling warm and safe and loved.
Angel was sound asleep, while she was cuddled against him on his right, his left being the worst damaged of the two sides. She was using his right shoulder as a pillow, her weight beside him instead of resting on his chest. His right arm was wrapped around her, holding her close even in sleep.
As she knew he would, he succumbed to exhausting before they had been able to actually make love, but being in his arms, arm rather, was all the love she needed right now.
She fell back to sleep, content.
...
Angel felt something funny, a warm and ticklish sensation on his neck. Slowly he opened his eyes, to see what was causing the feeling.
"So you are alive" Buffy commented with a gleam of mischief.
"Huh" He breathed out, still groggy.
"You've been asleep for almost the entire day." She clarified, "Was beginning to wonder if you slipped back to Coma-ville."
"No, no coma..." After a second, "All day? Really?" He asked, attempting to sit up, and failing miserably when pain shot threw his torso.
He hissed and remained horizontal.
"Here." Buffy held a little handful of pills and a glass of water, "You already missed two doses."
He swallowed them and took a few sips of the water she held.
He grimaced at the horrible aftertaste. "Ugh, why can't they add some flavor to those?" He mumbled.
"Then people would eat them like candy?" She shrugged and slipped into the bed beside him, resuming her position for earlier, her head on his right shoulder.
"Or not die from the aftertaste alone..." He grumbled.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, concerned about him being out of the hospital only 3 weeks after getting impaled and barely surviving major surgery.
"I was once told, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything." He replied.
"That's not encouraging..." She frowned, then sat up and looked him over.
He was pale, but it was hard to tell if from pain, or healing or having to dodge from the sun for 250 years.
She rested her hand on his brow and was relieved to find no trace of fever.
She moved her hands to his bandaged chest, caressing down the hidden scar he would always carry from Hexlar's attack.
Her fingers traveled down to the cast on his right arm, the little splits on his fingers to keep the tendons stretched. He moved his fingers when hers slid over them, the action was painful and stiff, but they did respond to his commands.
As her hand moved along his healed and currently healing wounds, his eyes never left it. He watched in mild amusement her fascination with his injuries.
She turned and looked down into his eyes, "How?" She asked.
"How what?" He questioned.
"How are you alive?" She clarified, having wondered since she first felt his heart beating in the hallway.
"You called an ambulance, doctors put most of the pieces back..."
"Not that part." She said rolling her eyes, then her mood sobered, "You were dying Angel. They took you off life support, you...you died."
"I didn't." he told her, slipping her hand into his left.
"But...I heard the machine, you flat-lined." She countered, remembering hearing it.
"The guy in the room next door died, I saw them cleaning out the room when they moved me upstairs. Dr. Marko, he told me I shouldn't have lived...he expected me to die...but I took a breath instead." He took a deep breath, or as deep as his hurt ribs allowed, "I heard you Buffy, it took me awhile, but I fought."
She shook her head, "I should have stayed..." she whispered remorsefully, realizing she had run at the worst possible moment.
"Doesn't matter." He told her, squeezing her hand, "You're here, I'm here...now we just have to figure out what that means."
"What do you want it to mean?" She asked, hoping he wanted to stay with her.
Before he could answer, his stomach growled.
"I really wish that would stop doing that." He grumbled, his cheek tinting red.
She giggled and kissed his cheek, "Someone missed breakfast, and lunch...and dinner." She realized. "Stay here, I'll grab you something." She said and quickly went to find him some suitable dinner.
"Not going anywhere." He whispered, both for his inability to get out of bed at the moment and his unwillingness to ever leave her again.
...
After she fed him three bowls of soup, he began nodding off again. His completely mortal body needing the rest.
Not long after he dozed off, she slipped into bed beside him.
...
Buffy awoke to the feeling of being watched.
Slowly she opened her eyes and spotted Angel staring at her.
"What?" She asked sleepily, "I must look like a wreck." She panicked when seeing his slight smirk, while trying to comb her hair with her fingers.
"You look beautiful...you always look beautiful." He declared.
She stopped trying to kill the cat on her head and just looked into his eyes, those I-want-to-drown-in-them-forever eyes.
"Not always..." She blurted, embarrassed.
"No, not always..." He started.
She deflated a little.
"...sometimes you're gorgeous." He finished.
She perked right back up. "Someone's feeling better." She spoke with a grin.
He chuckled, then winced from the pain it caused.
"Or not." She frowned. "Are you ok?"
"Better than yesterday, not as good as tomorrow."
She kissed his temple and stretched out beside him.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, she asked, "Are we together?"
He glanced at her. "Do you want to be?"
"Doesn't sound like you do..." She pouted, in an angry sort of way.
He reached out and grasped her arm, "I do want to be...I'm just not sure I can be."
"What's the problem this time?" She demanded, knowing his reasons for leaving before (Can't give children, go in sunlight, move love to) were all obsolete in his current alive and human state.
He sighed, "Buffy, I have no idea how Hexlar made me human...I don't even know how long it will last." He paused then continued, "If we were to restart something...and it had to end...I'm not sure I could handle that." He admitted. She might not remember the day that never was, but it tore his beating heart to shreds to think it could happen again, he could have her, then lose her.
"I understand that feeling." She mumbled as she slid back down.
After a moment, "Well I guess we need to figure out what happened." She told him as she sat up. "I'll call Giles, get the gang working on this."
He made to say something but her fingers clamped his mouth shut, "All you're going to worry about is getting better, heal...ok?" She stated.
He nodded and she took her hand away from his mouth. "Good, I'm going to make that call and when I come back, I'll have some breakfast with me."
He grinned, "Breakfast in bed, I could get used to that."
'Me too.' she thought as she exited the bedroom.
...
Two days later, Giles flew in from England.
She greeter her watcher and help him cart in a heavy suitcase of books.
"Gees Giles, what did you pay for baggage fees on this?" She joked.
"Nothing I'm willing to discuss with you..." he winced remembering the number.
...
Giles took Dawn's room, the young woman at school for the days but eager to come help after classes.
While he was unpacking and getting situated Buffy went to get Angel.
...
The newly mortal man had spent nearly all of his time at Buffy's house sleeping, but she didn't really blame him, it was one of his few escapes from the pain and honestly, he needed the rest to heal.
"Angel?" She called, gently rousing him.
"Hmm?" He exhaled, slowly opening his eyes.
"Hey, time to stop being Rip Van Winkle, Giles is here and he'll need you to explain all the details so he can research. Can't spend today laying about like a dead fish." She finished, realizing he'd layed in that bed for nearly four solid days.
"Thanks" he mumbled, as she helped him sit up. "Hey, I get up." He countered after a second.
"Oh yeah, bathroom breaks and shaving...so much exercise there..." she joked sarcastically.
"You try moving with broken ribs..." He grumbled. "Ugh, I need a shower something fierce." He said once getting a whiff of himself.
"Noticed" Buffy said under her breath.
She helped him walk stiffly into the bathroom and showed him how to operate her shower. She quickly removed the bandage around his ribs and help him undress.
"If you need help...call me...I swear, if you fall and hurt yourself more..." She threatened.
"I'll call, promise." He cut her off, not needing to hear what she'll do to him.
"I'll be in when you're done with some clothes."
"Why don't you just leave them here?" he asked.
"Because you'll try to put them on and hurt yourself." She told him as she stepped out of the room.
"Not a cripple." He grumbled, and turned on the water.
...
The heat from the shower helped ease the strained muscles and relaxed the pain in his chest.
"You didn't drown in there did you?" he heard Buffy call through the door.
"No, the hot water's really helping."
"Well you've been in there for twenty minutes...you could leave me some hot water..."
"Oh, sorry" he called out, quickly rinsing the turning off the water.
...
Once he was dry and shaved, Buffy came in with some clothes and to re-bandage his ribs.
He never realized how important his ribs were until he broke them...and found moving in any direction was painfully impossible.
...
Twenty minutes later, he walked into the kitchen with Buffy.
"Giles" he greeted the watcher sitting at the table with a cup of tea.
"Angel." Giles replied, still uneasy about the former vampire.
Buffy could physically see the tension between the two. 'Oh boy, this will be fun...' she thought to herself.
Angel moved to the counter and stood against it. Buffy imagined if it wouldn't have hurt, his arms would have been folding across his chest.
"Ok, well let's cut to the chase." Buffy began, being direct, "Angel, when exactly did the human thing happen?"
He shifted then slowly answered, "I was fighting with Hexlar, at some point...he stuck me with something. Never saw what it was...left a pinprick in my arm. Shortly after, he fled."
"That's it?" Buffy questioned?
He exhaled, "Buffy, we've fought for almost two years...neither of us ever managed to strike a deathblow. The fact he ran was nothing new...I guess he was just waiting for whatever he did to take effect. He didn't count on me going to the butchers and collapsing near a group of people..."
She gave him a look that said, keep going.
"I don't remember a lot...we were in Greece...they took me to a hospital...I woke, freaked and ran. When I realized I was human...I knew it was over...I gave up." He finished quietly.
"How did you end up meeting Buffy?" Giles asked.
"He came here to say goodbye." Buffy lashed.
Angel looked uncomfortable.
"Oh." Giles nodded, understanding why Buffy would be furious about that. "So, he injected you with something..." Giles continued, leaving the Buffy/Angel mess between the two others in the room and focusing on the research. "Can you tell me of any feelings you had? Sensations? Smells? tastes? Anything at all so I can narrow it down."
"How many cures to vamperism do you have to narrow between?" Angel asked sarcastically, knowing there were none.
After a moment Angel remembered something, "Giles...look up Mohra demons."
With something to go on, Giles divulged into his books.
"Mohra...isn't that the mutant ninja demon thing you killed in your office?" Buffy asked, remembering the jewel on it's forehead shattering.
"Uhh...yeah." he replied quickly." He hadn't expected her to remember the name of the creature.
"What? I'm a slayer..I see a new demon, I learn what it is and how to kill it." She told him, seeing the shock on his face.
"Ahh, yes, the book of Kelsor. Mohra demons...here it is...They are powerful assassins, brutal and deadly soldiers of darkness. They are designed to eliminate warriors of the light. Mohra's needs vast amounts of salt to live. Their veins run with the blood of eternity. In order to kill the beast one must bring darkness to 1000 eyes, in not killed properly they regenerate coming back bigger and stronger until the dark future their master envisions is upon us." Giles finished reading and showed Angel and Buffy the sketch in the book.
"That's it." Buffy nodded. After a moment, "So that blood of eternity thing..."
"Well as is written, they seem to be able to regenerate themselves, so in theory they should be able to also regenerate another dead being...such as a vampire." Giles concluded.
Angel just nodded slowly, knowing that is exactly what it can do but not wanting to say anything.
Buffy noticed.
"Angel? What do you know?" She demanded.
He looked up, startled. "What? Nothing!"
"You're a terrible lair...you know something...I can see it all over your face." She cornered him.
"I only know what I've read..." He tried.
"Angel!" She demanded again.
He looked away, determined not to tell her everything, but knowing he had to tell her some of it.
"I encountered one...a long time ago. We fought...I won...but during the fight, it's blood mixed with mine. It made me mortal." He admitted.
"Extraordinary" Giles exclaimed, excited about the concept.
"It wasn't permanent?" Buffy asked, knowing he was a vampire again when they met up years ago.
"I would have been..." He trailed.
"What happened?" She asked.
"I went to see the oracles."
"The oracles!" Giles gaped, "The immortal beings that act as interpreters to the powers?"
"Not that as immortal as you'd think..." He tried to change the subject.
"What did the oracles do?" She asked, keeping them on track.
He took a deep pained breath and continued, "They said I had been a warrior of their cause, as a man...I wasn't. In order to keep my mission, to save lives...they took back the day...it never happened."
"But you remember it." Buffy countered.
"Only so I could kill the Mohra before it could make me mortal." He defended.
"When?" She asked, "When exactly did this happen?"
"It was a long time ago..." Angel said shaking his head.
"You remember things that happened in 17something. If it happened after I came to see you in L.A after thanksgiving in 2000, you would have known how to kill the demon already...not read it in a book..." She realized.
He looked down, and she had her answer.
"It happened that day...didn't it?" She asked, not really a question.
It was hard to tell, but he nodded.
They were all silent a moment, then Buffy turned to her watcher..."Giles, can we a have a minute." She asked.
Giles understood it wasn't a question and he nodded. "I'll just run to the store, get us some lunch then." He left quickly.
Once alone Buffy looked at Angel, his gaze wouldn't meet hers.
"I knew didn't I? I knew you were human..." She asked, wishing she could remember...but for her...it never happened.
"Yeah." He whispered.
"If you were human...there would have been no curse..." She offered.
"No curse." he repeated.
"Tell me everything." She said calmly to him, "I want to know everything that happened that day...everything."
He was silent a moment, but slowly he did tell her every, agonizing detail.
...
They sat at the table in silence.
Angel kept his gaze in submission on the floor, not wanting to even see the pain he knew he just caused her.
"Well..." She began, "Nice to know." She stood and paced for a moment, "And here I thought you up and left me just the once...silly me."
"Buffy." He tried to say no.
"Shut up!" She snapped.
He went back to being submissive.
"I can't remember any of it...but I know I'd be furious. You altered reality! You were human! We could have been happy."
"At the cost of your life!" He Shouted.
"So you save me at the cost of yours!" She yelled back.
"It wasn't about us Buffy, I had a mission..." He tried.
"Oh a mission, visions from the powers, yeah great. Whoop Dee Do!"
"Then tell me this Buffy...if the situation had been reversed...would you have given up being the Slayer?" He countered.
She began to shout back, yes...then stopped.
"You would have been able to throw out your calling, leave the world without a Slayer? Leave the world at risk to the vampires and demons..."
"Another would have been called." she said slowly without confidence.
"And you think she would have been better than you? Would you be able to do that to someone, just hand them your responsibility?"
She got angry. "Don't make this about me! What really pisses me off is you made the choice without me! I should have gone with you...to see the oracles."
"It was easier if you didn't know."
"Well I know now."
"And what good is it? All knowing does is hurt you."
"You knew...you dealt with it...so will I."
...
Giles knocked on the door, "Umm...Hello? Anyone want sandwiches...or did I forget something and need to go back for it right now?"
Angel opened the door. "Not hungry Giles, but feel free to eat." He said as he walked pasted the watcher.
"Where are you going?" Buffy demanded, seeing Angel grabbing his coat off the rack.
"Anywhere but here." He said as he vanished around the corner.
She followed in a flash.
...
Giles blinked, "Fire and water those two are." He put the other two sandwiches in a refridgerator, nowing they wouldn't be eating anytime soon and sat the the table with his.
...
Buffy easily caught up to him and grabbed Angel coat, slamming in again the wall. "So that's it then! You just take off again when things get hard!"
He shrugged her hand off and faced her, "What do you want from me Buffy!" He shouted. "I had a choice, I chose to save you."
"Without my consent." She shot.
"With or without it doesn't matter! I did what I had to do, it's over."
"Over." she repeated, wondering exactly how far that extended.
"I'm no different from then Buffy, I would make the same choice if given the option. It you can't handle that...then I'm just going to go, no need making this any worse than it already is." He turned to walk away.
"If you walk away from me again...I swear Angel...You better never come back."
He stiffened a moment, then kept walking.
She felt wetness in her eyes as he entered the elevator.
Then it was just her and her tears.
...
The End.
...
Stay tuned for an Alternative ending!