Chapter 10 – High Chances for Rain

I didn't get into NYADA. That's what the letter said, I didn't get in. I felt like all my dreams had gone water down. What was I supposed to do now? Probably I would become a clothing seller in a cheap store of a mall in Ohio. My dreams were crashed and burned until becoming ashes. "When I have kids, what will I tell them when they ask me why we're so poor?" I though.

I was feeling so down that when school finished I gave Blaine a goodbye with a wave of my hand and that was all. That was all I was going to give him that time because I felt like crap. Then I went home and when got there, went straight to my room and locked myself in it. I had been resisting the whole day to cry, to scream, to break things, and when I finally could do it, I didn't. Why? I couldn't. I don't know why, maybe was because of the climate, maybe was because I wasn't feeling as much as I needed to do those things. I didn't matter. I just couldn't do it. The only thing I was able to do was throwing me in bed and sleep. I stayed there the whole afternoon.

I heard knocks on the door and someone screaming behind it:

"Kurt! Are you there?! Unlock this door now, I want to talk to you! Finn told me what happened, open the door!"

That was definitely my father. And apparently, Finn can't shut his mouth up. He had to tell my dad that my future was destroyed. Couldn't he take care of his own business? Until what I remember, he didn't get into his college neither.

My father kept knocking on the door, but stronger. I should've opened the door but I was so tired and destroyed I couldn't move. I felt like a real zombie.

"I'll break it if you don't open it now, I'm worried!"

Knock knock knock

There was no way I would open that door until I heard a special word of him:

"Blaine's here too! We're really worried Kurt, open this NOW!"

That was enough to make me get up and say quietly that I was going to open it, but I guess they didn't hear that part. I'm not even sure if I actually said it or if only stayed on my mind. I didn't matter because I opened the door right before they try to break it. In time!

When they saw me, I guess they actually saw a zombie, especially because I'm really sure I looked like one, not as one of The Walking Dead, but as one of the game Plants VS Zombies, which I only knew because Blaine got addicted to it for a while.

"Oh my God, Kurt. What the hell happened to you? You look like that girl of The Ring as a male version!"

"I'm not that bad dad" Yes I was.

"Hey Kurt… What happened? You didn't even say goodbye to me today, you didn't answer your phone, the doorbell, I wasn't even sure where you were."

"Sorry Blaine. Hmmph" I was speaking slow and low, considering my state. "I want to talk to you… Can we dad?"

He was reluctant but yielded. "Fine. But I'll talk to you in a way or another, so be ready, doesn't matter what you both talk."

"Ok. Thanks. Come on Blaine" I pulled him inside my room and closed the door. Went to the bed and stayed sitting there, waiting Blaine join me. When he did, I started to talk.

"So. I'm sorry for leaving you at the school without giving a proper goodbye."

"That's not because I'm worried or pissed. You've done this before sometimes when you were in a bad humor or just needed to run to your house to finally relax. I get it. But generally, you answer my calls, you ask me to come over and help you to get through it or just comfort you. There was a time that you just screamed at me in the phone, but that was because you were really pissed. I understand that. But you didn't take my calls; you ignored me and slept the whole day. You have never done that. That's why I'm worried."

I looked at him, hesitant, but I knew I should tell him. It wasn't fair to just shut up. We had to talk. Unfortunately, it was a hard thing to say, I couldn't look at his face and think about it, so I turned my face to the opposite side on the floor.

"I… I got the letter."

"What letter?"

Why couldn't he be the kind of boyfriend that reads people's mind, especially of his beloved? Oh of course, because that doesn't exist, it's just a fantasy of Stephanie Meyer. "The letter of NYADA. I didn't get in." After those words, complete silent. Blaine broke the ice with some simple words:

"Kurt, look at me."

I hesitated, but did it as told. It was still hard to look at my fiancée knowing I wouldn't have a future in my career and that I wasn't good enough for him.

"Now pay attention. I know this is hard for you. I know you must be feeling like crap." Nailed it. "But it actually doesn't matter. You'll have another chance next year, and you were amazing this time, imagine the next. She complemented you, Kurt. I think you weren't approved because you're inexperienced, and yes, Rachel got it, but she called that woman a thousand times until she got what she wanted. I don't think it was fair, but happened. It's going to happen many times on your life, but I'll be here for you, I promise. I believe in you Kurt! I really do, and I think you're gonna be one of those super successful famous people that went through a hard time to get there. But I'll always be here for supporting you. For reminding you of your dreams and to you never give up. I mean it."

That was all I needed to hear. Well, almost all; for making it complete, I could get a letter from NYADA saying the other one was a joke and that I got into it. But from Blaine, that was all I could ask (and more).

"Do you have anything to do tonight?"

"No, why?"

"I was wondering if you could stay here with me and spend the night. I'm sort of needing cuddles."

"I could stay cuddling you for eternity."

After that, he pushed me to the pillow and went there by my side. Quickly, sent a message to his mother telling her he would spend the night out.

I laid on his chest and slept again. This time was better. This time I was calmer. This time I was feeling better.

For no reason, I woke up in the middle of the night. When I opened my eyes, I couldn't see much. I knew Blaine was there under me, so I tried to leave the bed the most silent possible. Successful? Not exactly. I made him move a little bit, searching for something that wasn't there anymore, but I made it. I looked on the screen of my cellphone. It was 2 a.m.; also, there was a message for me, from Rachel, plus sixteen lost phone calls from Blaine. I read it:

Hi swtie ho dont u nswer my calls getting worried call me

Rachel should seriously consider using punctuation. I wasn't going to answer that text at 2 a.m. in a Thursday. She could wait until tomorrow. I left the phone on the bed table where it was before and went to the bathroom. When I got there, closed the door and turned on the light.

I washed my face in the sink and looked myself in the mirror. I shouldn't have done that.

Looking at me in the mirror made me remember that letter. That stupid letter. Remind me that I probably wouldn't get in to any college, would have a mediocre job and the closer I would get to Broadway would be as a janitor of the stage. Also, I couldn't get married to Blaine. With my future ruined, I would never be enough to him, to us. Who was I anyway?

All those thoughts made me cry, even though I tried really hard not to. The worst part was listen steps on the room and see Blaine open the door. He got me crying like a baby standing on the front of the mirror with the water tap open. He closed it and turned to me, worried:

"Kurt, what's happening?". I looked at him but didn't say a word. Actually, I couldn't even think in something to tell him. He insisted, being more authoritarian, but as a concerned father. "Kurt, tell me why you're crying." Even that way, everything he could hear from me was my hiccups. Obviously he wouldn't just stay looking at me, so he came and hugged me, pressing my head with his hand on his shoulder. I didn't try to resist and cried there. When I was finally feeling comforted, I started to talk.

"I'm so sorry, I just…"

"Shh. Just breathe, ok? You don't owe me any apologizes. I need you to calm down, ok?"

I cried a bit more and then took my head out of his shoulder to look at him. Tears stopped coming down, and even though I felt that I would cry a lot more, I controlled myself. He pulled me to the bed and we sat there.

"I… I was just…" I took a long breath and continued. "I was thinking about my future. Our future." A pause. "I realized I'm not enough to you. I didn't get into a college. I never was anything special, never occupied any important post, especially at school. I'm a failure Blaine. That's what I am. I never won anything really important in my whole life. My future will be mediocre. The best I'll get is taking care of my dad's shop. I don't deserve the ring you gave me. I don't deserve you. I deserve nothing I have but that letter. That is the proof I'm a failure."

The look on his eyes was incredulous, with a certain irony. He didn't say anything for thirty seconds until stand up and call me.

"Come on, get up. Get a coat and follow me."

"Why?"

"We're going for a ride."

"What? Have you lost your mind? It's 2 a.m.!" Now I was the incredulous.

"Well, I don't care. I won't let you martyr yourself just because some idiots didn't appreciate your talent. Take your coat and let's go. I'll be downstairs." He said that and left the room, silently, to not wake up anyone in the house (especially my father). I didn't leave the room immediately. I wouldn't get out of the house on pajamas.

I opened my wardrobe and took out of it a white shirt, one of my jeans and a black warm coat and threw them on the bed. Went to the bathroom, washed my face, brushed my hair, went back to the room, changed the clothes and then I went downstairs, to find an impatient Blaine waiting for me.

"There's no one on the street now, Kurt. You didn't need to change your clothes."

"You say that because you're on your normal clothes, not pajamas."

"Of course. Can we go?"

"Yes."

He took me out of the house and opened the door of the car for me to get in. When we were ready to go, he turned the car on and drove until we arrive in a desert street (not that the most of them weren't, but this was darker). He parked and we got out of the vehicle.

I looked at him, indignant.

"Blaine, what the hell are we doing on a street that looks like we're getting killed at any minute?"

He ignored me and pointed to a car shop. "What do you see there, Kurt?"

"Nothing." I said, ironic.

"Come on, this is serious."

I sighed. "It's a car shop."

"Well, that's not just a car store. That's a car shop of Honda."

"So you know a car brand, congratulations. Can we go now? I'm scared." He went closer to me and hugged my shoulder to make me feel more confident (or less scared) – not that he was.

"Soichiro Honda wasn't as rich as he became. He passed for a lot of difficulties."

"Blaine, I already know his story, let's just go back home", I complained. He, once again, ignored me.

"There was a time when he almost got with no resources. Although that, he passed through the problem and fixed it. Later, his manufacture was bombarded and an earthquake destroyed what was remained, but he rose again. Became the Biker of the century! He lost so many times Kurt, but became a winner. He showed people to never give up on their dreams."

"Yes Blaine, but I'm no Soichiro Honda! I'm not as smart as him and as great as he was!"

"But I'm not asking you to be! Kurt, all I'm trying to show you is to stop martyring yourself just because you lost! This will happen a lot of times, but it's not a reason to you give up! You probably won't be an innovator, but you'll do what pleases you. You'll do something that makes you happy and well-successful! That's what matters, besides of being with the people you most love in the world. These are things that will make you happy. So don't tell me you're not worth it. That you're not good enough, because you are Kurt. You may not see that, but I do. And even though you didn't get into NYADA, I'm proud of you. Proud of what you did until today. You're the most amazing and important person in my life and kills me to see you like that. And to be really honest, you're my biggest idol."

I had no words for that. What he just said was amazing. I felt him being truthful with me. I felt his honesty, his concern about me and how he loved me.

That was the proof. That was the proof I needed. Since he proposed me, I was really happy, but there was always the fear: what if it doesn't work out? What if we go on different directions? What if we lose the interest on each other? Now, I didn't feel there were obstacles. There was just me and him.

I smiled to him and spoke with a melt voice: "We're gonna get married, aren't we?"

He smiled me back. "Yes, we are."

After that, we kissed each other. It was a deep and romantic kiss and we were holding on each other really tight. I loved him. He loved me. That was all that mattered.

Oh my Gosh. I'm so sorry. I didn't update the fic for a long time, I'm feeling guilty, I'm really sorry guys.

The year is ending for me, which means after the tests week (it'll be in 2 or 3 weeks) I'll be totally free for writing (YAY)!

#

It's amazing how somethings we write apply exactly on us. Writing this chapter, especially the last part was really important to me. I kind of feel like Kurt does here. As if I'll never be as Soichiro Honda or even Steve Jobs. Writing the second part made me depressive, but while I was writing, I was also thinking about it, and seriously? It's true. It doesn't matter if you're just another person in the world. There's always someone who will feel that you're the only person that matters in the whole world. And that's important. Being happy is important. So it doesn't really matter if you don't get into the nicest college, or even getting into a college. You must look for the happiness. It'll be waiting for you.