AN: As Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows has finally released, my story is officially non-canon. I now claim "AU" and hope my readers will forgive my absence and continue to read… There's more to come- I promise!

Disclaimer: I'll give you one guess as to who does NOT own Harry Potter OR the song "Wild Horses" by Natasha Bedingfield (the lyrics of which are at the end of the chapter to help explain what Hermione is going through, without admitting it to herself). Come on… guess!? That's right- ME!

Chapter 5: Running Away

The next morning Hermione awoke at her usual time, even though there were no classes that day. The sun was streaming through her window, and Hermione toyed with the idea of finding Tay. A walk sounded superb, and doubtlessly, Ron and Harry would still be asleep.

She opened her trunk, examining the clothes inside. She settled on a low-cut light yellow sundress, happy that today she could leave her slightly-depressing looking black robes in the trunk. Happy for no reason that she could explain, Hermione ran a brush through her long wavy hair. She left it down today, glad that her light brown hair had gotten rid of the bushy look since she'd hit puberty.

After applying minimal make-up, Hermione strode out into the great hall to eat some breakfast, and maybe find Tay. And sure enough, there was Tay, sitting at her usual spot at Ravenclaw table, a pile of food in front of her. Hermione smiled, and sat down next to her, not caring that she wasn't a Ravenclaw.

"Hey!" Tay said, scooting over so Hermione had more room. "Nice dress!"

Hermione reached across the table to grab the pitcher of orange juice, and examined the room from this angle. Facing the head table, she was surprised to find that Snape was staring at her yet again. "Thanks," She murmured, still watching Snape.

Tay saw what was going on between Hermione and Snape, and laughed. "What's with all the staring and watching? It's like… all you ever do at meals. Stare and get stared at."

Hermione laughed, knowing it was true. She wouldn't admit- not willingly, at least- that she liked being stared at. Not by Snape alone necessarily… but still. She liked attention.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" Hermione asked, changing the subject.

Tay shrugged. "Whatever. We can figure it out later." Suddenly she sat up, ramrod straight, practically throwing her fried egg, bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich on her plate. "Let's go for a walk. As in, right now."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Sure, but why now?"

Shrugging again, this time more hastily, Tay asked, "Why not?"

Hermione opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a tap on her shoulder. She knew who it was even before she looked up. Rolling her eyes, Hermione absurdly struggled not to smile.

"Miss Granger I'm going to have to ask you to move to Gryffindor table, or leave the Great Hall." He kept his voice low, and quiet.

Hermione looked up at him from her seat. "Is there any particular reason why you came to move me rather than Gryffindor's head, or Ravenclaw's?"

He crossed his arms. "Is there any particular reason why you, Head Girl of Gryffindor house, are sitting at Ravenclaw's table?"

Hermione rather uncharacteristically felt herself about to giggle as she bent her head over her lap. Just the thought of giggling helped her contain herself. Slightly disturbed at herself, she looked up at him again, her mouth cocked in a half-smile. "Why not?"

Snape cleared his throat slightly, obviously taken slightly aback by Hermione's behavior. "Because –as Head Girl- you must set an example to your fellow students at all times. That includes weekend mornings."

Hermione rolled her eyes again, not bothering to hide her annoyance with her professor. Tay stifled a laugh beside her- only managing to keep a straight face after Hermione shot her an irritated look.

"Miss Granger. Please, at least try to act your age, for once." He was watching her with an odd look in his eyes, confusing Hermione. She sensed that he was speaking of more than her currently immature behavior, but, annoyed even further, she said nothing of it.

Instead she turned herself on the bench, so that if she looked straight ahead she was face-to-bellybutton with Snape. Hermione looked up into pale face and sighed, aggravated. "I'm afraid I can't do that, Sir. But don't worry, I'm off to set those good examples you were talking about. C'mon Tay, lets go show the students of Hogwarts the benefits of exercise and fresh air by taking a walk."

Hermione moved to stand up but found herself blocked by Snape's black-cloaked body. Agitated, she slid a bit down the bench to stand up but Snape moved and blocked her yet again. Hermione glared at him. "Out of my way, please."

Snape's lips seemed to twitch in an almost-smile but the next second it was gone. "Herm- Miss Granger, may I please have a word with you, alone?"

She nodded once, and then followed Snape out of the Great Hall, signaling for Tay to wait for her. Hermione soon found herself sitting on the edge of a professor's desk in an empty classroom, watching Snape close the door quietly. She suddenly wished that she were in more comfortable clothes: a t-shirt and jeans, perhaps… or better yet, her soft, cozy pajamas. Swinging her legs idly, Hermione waited for Snape to start the "talk" they so desperately needed to have.

Snape leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, facing Hermione. "Miss Granger," He started.

"Professor Snape," She returned, not sure where this was going, or if this was even going anywhere. Merlin's pants, she didn't even know what "this" was.

"Miss Granger," He repeated, "I'm afraid I don't quite understand your behavior."

Hermione frowned. Her legs stopped swinging. "What behavior." It wasn't a question.

Snape uncrossed his arms and approached Hermione. "All of it!" He began to pace in front of her, gesturing with his hands as he talked. "You defended me, stood up for me in front of your best friends- both of whom are convinced that I deserve to die a long, painful death- and accepted my apology the evening I gave it, even demanded that you be punished for your actions, all of which were perfectly excusable. But then today you go and abuse my authority, embarrassing me in front of other students. I desperately need every ounce of respect from these students if I'm going to continue on as a teacher here. And trust me, I don't plan on resigning anytime soon. This job is my life- literally. I lose this job, and the Dark Lord… You don't understand. You don't know what it's like. Any wrong step could be the step into my noose. I can't handle this and that and everything in between anymore. At one point I could, but I just… I just can't anymore. You don't understand. I can't expect you to, and-" Snape suddenly stopped pacing and talking and took a step towards Hermione, his eyes pleading in a desperate way that made her shiver. "What I meant to say was… you confused me when you helped me one day, but shortly after hurt me." Snape pressed his forehead with the palms his hands, the picture of a man under greater stress than he could handle.

Hermione hopped off the desk, not thinking, following instinct. "Professor Snape… Severus…" She placed her hands on his arms, holding onto him gently, but firmly. He looked down at her, his face blank, his eyes showing his worry, softened now. "I'm sorry" she whispered with sincerity. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it. He shut his eyes, doing what, Hermione didn't know. Instinct told her what to do, and Hermione followed suit, trusting it with a blind faith that Dumbledore would have been proud of. She wrapped her arms around him. Hermione hugged Severus Snape.

She didn't think about his cruelty to her for these past six years, or about what Harry or Ron or even Tay would say if they knew what she was doing. She was thinking about Severus, worried that if he lost his job he might lose his life, always scared that a wrong move might put him in Lord Voldemort's disfavor- a place he could not be. She thought of Severus Snape, his secrets, his pain, and then his hair, as he had set his head on hers, his hair falling into her face. And then his voice, as he whispered "Thank you."

And then it all became too real for Hermione. She tensed up, stepping away from Snape as her brain turned back on and kicked all instinctual matters out the window. "I-I'm sorry. I have to go now. I'll- I'll see you in detention." She said this hurriedly, and then ran out of the room before she could see the look on his face, and hopefully before he could see hers.

Hermione was scared.

…

An hour and a half later and a knock Hermione's dormitory door interrupted the very important business Hermione had had to ditch Snape for. "What do you want?" She snapped, unable to help it. She had changed into her pajamas the moment she stepped through the door on her way in, and she wasn't in the mood for visitors.

"A Big Mac and a large fry," Tay said sarcastically through the door. "What do you think I want? Open the door!"

Hermione opened the door with a flick of her wand, her eyes not leaving the movie playing on the screen conjured specifically for moments of extreme self-pity. Hermione was watching The Notebook, accompanied of course by a rather large box of tissues. She wasn't sure how Tay had managed to get into Gryffindor Tower, let alone with a large and suspicious looking covered-tray.

Tay seemed to read Hermione's mind and answered her question before she could ask it. "Harry let me in through the portrait hole after he saw you sprinting into your dorm. I decided that if you were going to make this room your hidey-hole I might as well help you with the provisions." She climbed (jumped, rather) into the bed with Hermione, bringing the tray with her. "Okay. I brought chocolate donuts, chocolate milk, chocolate pudding, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, Honeydukes chocolate, chocolate brownies, and of course myself, your chocolate-obsessed company." She gave Hermione a small smile, which Hermione half-heartedly returned.

"I'm not coming out right now," She said, and Tay shook her head.

"I'm not asking you to."

She set the tray between them on the bed, helping Hermione close the curtains around them. "I love this movie…"

Right then on the screen, the main characters, Allie and Noah, were floating along a river on a small row boat. A thousand birds surrounded them as the once-lovers laughed and talked with each other, feeding the glorious white birds that covered the water and made it look like an enormous cloud carrying the boat along the river. And then it starts to rain, and they are so happy together, laughing in the rain, they almost forget that she has a boyfriend, until the moment ends and they yell and scream, trying to resolve that conflict, to get rid of those years filled with mistakes, so they can forget about it and kiss passionately in the rain, the way Hermione knows the lovers will, once they learn to live and let go, all the while holding tight to each other…

Hermione pretended not to cry as she watched Ally and Noah's lives played out for the bajillionth time, knowing how it will end, but all the while wondering… what if the story had ended differently? What if Ally had chosen to leave Noah behind, going back to her much more practical boyfriend? What if she chose safety over passion?

When the movie ended and the credits started to roll, Hermione ate another spoonful of ice cream, and, looking at her spoon, told the room rather matter-of-factly, "I hugged Severus today. Professor Snape, I mean."

Tay didn't say anything. It was obvious that Hermione thought she had made a colossal confession. Hermione looked at her to find Tay giving her a blank stare. "That's it? That's why you ran away from Snape like he had the plague?"

Hermione blushed deeply. "I guess I did kind of over-react. But honestly! He was pouring his guts out to me, and he felt so awful, and I didn't think, I just did it."

Tay blinked twice, trying to comprehend. "This shouldn't be a big deal. This, of course, is what makes it such a big deal..."

Now it was Hermione's turn to try to understand. "What do you-"

"I mean that if you had hugged Snape and thought nothing of it, it wouldn't be such a big deal. But well, you're acting like you raped the poor guy. So obviously it was a big deal for you to hug him."

Hermione shook her head, still not understanding.

Tay gave a half smile, putting her hand on Hermione's head, as if trying to place whatever Hermione wasn't understanding in there for safe keeping. She sighed softly, then said bluntly "You've got feelings for Snape."

Hermione's eyebrows shot up like rockets, hiding out in her hair, which, thanks to Tay, was now a frizzy mess. "I do not! He's a grown man, and a Death Eater. Not to mention a total head case… He insulted me in the middle of DADA after I had defended him, and then guess what he did! Go on, guess!"

Tay shrugged, "asked you not to sit at Ravenclaw table?"

Hermione's eye brows crash landed back onto her forehead, sinking her face into a frown. "No! Well, yeah, but not yet. No, he then apologized to me! What a nutter! I can't believe I hugged him."

Tay remained silent, although Hermione hardly noticed, as she continued to rant. "You know what? I think I'm going to go down to the library and make sure that Wizard Insanity isn't contagious, and then I have to go to detention pretty soon…"

Tay grabbed her arm, stopping her from leaving as she said, "Hermione it's one o'clock in the afternoon, you've got six hours, and I can tell you now that insanity isn't contagious, not ever- you even knew that." Hermione blushed scarlet.

"Hermione, please, just stop running away and hiding… I don't want to see you get hurt."

Hermione was baffled. "I do not have feelings for Snape. And even if I did, I wouldn't go around snogging him or anything. That's just… that's just ludicrous. And I don't, anyway. Having feelings for him, I mean."

Tay pressed her lips tightly together and nodded. "Yeah… you just keep telling yourself that." And with a wink, Tay left Hermione alone to think for herself.

And what did Hermione do? Did she have an enormous breakthrough, finally seeing where her heart lay? Did she decide it was time for Tay to quit getting involved? Did she watch the Notebook again and permanently ruin her complexion with the mound of chocolate now sitting in her stomach?

Of course not, this is Hermione we are talking about. Hermione curled up in bed with her Ancient Runes book, spending the evening avoiding all unpleasant thoughts. If Hermione had known just how much more unpleasant those thoughts could be if left out to spoil, she might not have ignored them. She might have listened to Tay, and stopped running away… but Hermione did not know, and so she spent the afternoon alone, studying Ancient Runes in the safety of her dorm room.

…

Wild Horses, Natasha Bedingfield.

I feel these four walls closing in
Face up against the glass
I'm looking out, hmmm
Is this my life I'm wondering
It happened so fast
How do I turn this thing around
Is this the bed I chose to make
There's greener pastures I'm thinking about
Hmm, wide open spaces far away

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but not feel scared

wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses, oh

whoahh Yeah, oh oh, ye-yeah

I see the girl I wanna be
Riding bare-back, care-free
Along the shore
If only that someone was me
Jumping head-first, head-long
Without a thought
To act and damn the consequence
How I wish it could be that easy
But fear surrounds me like a fence
I wanna break free

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear, but not feel scared

Oooh, wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses, oh

I wanna run too.
ohhh ohhh

recklessly abandoning me my self before you

I wanna open up my heart tell him how I feel

Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing too
I wanna run with the wild horses,
run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses

ohh woah ohh woah
Yeeaaaah

I wanna run with the wild horses