"I can't believe it!" exclaimed Joker, reading the newspaper the next day. "All that work and not only does Bats save all three of them, but they're safely holed up in a nice cosy prison for the next several years! The lucky bastards! Free meals, free TV, and a roof over their heads! What more could they possibly want, eh, Harley girl?" he chuckled.

Harley ate her breakfast in silence and said nothing. She hadn't said a word since the previous night, not that Joker minded this. She often talked too much for his liking. But now her sulking was just getting irritating. So with a sigh, he put down the paper and said, "All right. What is it, Harley?"

"What is it?" she repeated, angrily. "I think you know what it is, Mr. J."

"Look, that thing between me and Batsy was just a distraction, pooh," he said. "It worked, didn't it? You can't possibly be jealous of Batsy."

She shook her head. "I ain't jealous of Batsy. I understand that, Mr. J, and I agree it worked really well. I get why you did that. I don't get why you did that other thing."

"What other thing?" he asked.

"All those things you said about me to Rupert Thorne," she muttered. "And telling him to shoot me, that I didn't matter to you, that he'd be doing you a favor…"

"Oh, c'mon, Harley, you're not thick!" he snapped. "What do you think he would have done if he knew I cared about you?"

"He probably wouldn't have shot me, like you were asking him to!" she snapped.

"No, but he would have held you hostage," he snapped. "Used you to escape, held you prisoner just until you stopped being useful to him, and then probably have killed you anyway for all I know! I wasn't going to let you leave the room with him! I didn't know what he'd do to you if I let you out of my sight! I had to keep you both in the room, in my power, so I could call his bluff! Which I did!"

"You didn't know he wouldn't have shot me," muttered Harley.

"No," he agreed. "But I do know that if he had got away with you, I might never have seen you again. I couldn't take that risk, pooh. I don't trust him. But I do trust my powers of persuasion – they've been very effective in the past."

"So you gambled for my life," retorted Harley.

"Yeah," he agreed. "And I won. I was pretty sure I would. You have to gamble sometimes, pumpkin, that's what life's all about. Taking risks, accepting challenges. It's what makes life fun."

"It wasn't fun for me, Mr. J!" she snapped.

"Well, if it's any consolation, it wasn't fun for me either!" he snapped. "In fact, it was hellish! I've never been in a situation like that before, where someone was threatening someone I cared about, because I ain't never cared about anyone before! I didn't like it at all! Normally if I lose a gamble, I can just laugh it off! But I wouldn't have laughed if I'd lost this one, pooh. I don't know what I would have done."

Harley stared at him. "You wouldn't have laughed?" she murmured.

"No," he snapped. "At least, I don't think I would have. Like I said, I don't know what I would have done. But I don't like the idea of anyone threatening my Harley girl but me. I don't like the idea of anyone hurting my Harley girl but me. And I don't like the idea of anyone killing my Harley girl but me. That's my job. Y'know, someday when you annoy me or it's funny or something," he muttered, returning to reading the newspaper.

Harley continued to stare at him. "You mean that, Mr. J?" she whispered.

"Course I do, kid," he retorted. "But until then, no one is going to touch a hair on your head. I don't like people touching my stuff. And you're mine, kiddo, whether you like it or not. So stop sulking, put a goddamn smile on your stupid face, and go make me another cup of coffee! And don't be stingy with the sugar this time, you dumb broad! Don't know why I keep you around sometimes."

Harley rose, smiling, and kissed him tenderly on the forehead. "I love you, Mr. J," she whispered.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered. "Love blah blah you whatever too. Coffee, Useless. Now."

Harley beamed as she picked up his mug and headed for the kitchen. Maybe the gangsters were right about them – maybe they were all freaks. But she and Mr. J were happy freaks, and that was all that mattered.

The End