Want to say another quick thank you to all my reviewers. It is so nice to read such encouraging things! And thanks for putting up with silly cliffhangers...
Suddenly there was a knock on the door that made Sansa jump and gasp. Sandor stopped and turned towards the door.
"Your bath, ser," a voice called out. Sandor opened the door as three young women brought in jugs with steaming water. They poured it in the tub that was already in the room and turned to leave.
"Wait half an hour then bring up more fresh water," Sandor called out, looking at Sansa again, while the girls bowed out of the room.
Sandor's eyes were hot on her, and she could feel herself heating up under his gaze. She remembered that look. He looked like he was about to devour her. The last time he looked at you that way, you were naked under him. Sansa felt a flush of wetness between her legs. There was no fighting this, not with him looking at her that way. Not with the small room heating up from the bath water. Not with Sandor taking slow steps towards her.
Sandor came up close to her and leaned down, placing his hands on either side of her hips on the bed. He leaned towards her face. Sansa saw his eyes flashing from her eyes to her lips to her breasts and back up again. Why is he doing this? Does he just want me to warm his bed tonight? Maybe he is lonely now, and he thinks he can have me.
"You need a bath, Little Bird," he said quietly, Well, that is true. We haven't bathed since we were at the cave...don't think about that right now. Stay strong.
Sansa leaned away from him then.
"Please, ser, you are too close to me. It is rude."
"I am rude, Little Bird," he whispered. His voice was low and husky. It sent shivers down Sansa's body. I've missed this sound. I've missed this feeling. I've missed Sandor. He leaned in closer.
"I do not wish you to be this close to me again, my lord. You taught me to guard myself more strictly."
"And this would be the first time you actually listened to me, girl. My luck. But do you really want to listen to me, Little Bird? I don't think you do. You're blushing at me so prettily and breathing so hard. I don't think you actually want me to move away from you. And do you want to know a secret, Little Bird? I don't want to move away from you, not one fucking bit. I'd rather do something else for you Little Bird. You might like it. You did before."
With that, Sandor leaned down further. He's going to kiss me, she thought. I want him to. Gods, I want him to so badly. She felt his breath at her neck just below her ear. She felt his lips kiss her there, so lightly, so gently.
He took her into his arms and lifted her from the bed. Slowly, he pulled back and looked into her eyes. Sansa knew her mouth was open slightly. She was panting and flushed and completely aroused. She was also disgusted with herself. You really are a stupid girl, Sansa Stark! Where is your wolf now? Send him away! He broke your heart just a week ago, and now you are letting him use you again. Sure, it feels good and you love him, but he doesn't love you! This won't mean anything to him. And it'll hurt you more in the long run. Stop him!
Sansa felt Sandor's hands at the back of her dress. Common dresses had fewer laces, but he was undoing them as fast as he could. Before she truly realized what was happening, she was left in her smallclothes in front of him, her dress pooled at her feet.
Quickly, Sansa put her arms around herself. She was so confused and overwhelmed. She felt completely out of control. She could not stop the tears that started to leak from her eyes.
Sandor lifted her chin gently and studied her face for a moment. Why is she crying? The silly Little Bird.
"Shh. Calm down, Little Bird. There is no reason for that." He leaned down and kissed the tears away from her face. Bugger me, she's turning me into a mother. Love definitely fucks you up, dog.
Sandor didn't know how to tell Sansa how he felt. He didn't know how to get her to tell him about how she felt. When he was jealous over the boy she was dancing with, the fact that she was furious at him completely fled his mind. Now he was standing in front of a crying Little Bird, realizing he was basically terrorizing the poor girl. Nice job, dog. You need to make up with her before you start stripping her. She is still your innocent Little Bird. She doesn't understand your crazy, sick mind. You need to do better than this!
"You need a bath, Little Bird, remember? I thought I'd help you with your laces again. I'll leave you to your warm water, Sansa..."he turned to leave her then, thinking about how he would get her back, get her to trust him again. Pathetic dog...
"Wait." She spoke so quietly he thought he imagined it. "Why are you doing this? Why? I don't understand. You told me you got what you wanted from me. Said such horrible things to me. And now what are you doing? Please. Please, what do you want from me?"
It was the first time they spoke about what he said at the cave. Sandor knew he would have to answer for that, but he still had not worked out exactly what he wanted to say to her. He could not just tell her he loved her. You'll scare her away, dog. He needed to take this slowly and heal the wounds he inflicted on her before he gave those words to her. Before he put them out into the universe where he could never take them back again. Fucking coward.
Sandor turned around to face her again.
"I'm a rough fucking dog, Sansa. I don't deserve someone as good as you. And you are so pure and so innocent. I'll fuck that up, Little Bird. I didn't want to. So I barked at you the way I did. I'm not worthy of you, girl, and you deserve someone gentle and good. Not an old, scarred, nasty dog. Barking at you, saying those things was the best way to get away from you before you realized what you were doing and threw me out with my fucking tail between my legs."
"And now?"
"Now I don't care, Little Bird. This week has been hell for me. I tried. I tried to be an honorable fucking man. But I'm not, Sansa. I can't stay away from you, even if that is what is better for you. I can't keep my hands off you. I can't stop thinking about you all the time. Having you mad at me. Seeing you with that stupid little shit downstairs. Seeing you now. I figure I deserve to get thrown out by you, not the other way around, like it was. I want to give you that chance now, girl. I'm sorry, Sansa. I'm sorry I'm so fucking mean and rough. You should have so much better than me around you. Don't know why you'd want me at all. I definitely don't know why the fuck you let me touch you and kiss you. Why you fucking touched me and kissed me back. But you did, and instead of thanking all my buggering lucky stars, I bit the hand that fed me. I'm crawlin' back now. Kick me if you want. I deserve it. But I'm done turning my back on you, Little Bird. I'll do whatever you say."
He didn't think he was good enough. He didn't understand how you felt. He didn't mean any of it! Sansa listened to Sandor and she felt her heart expanding, coming back to life. She was thrilled. It was just so clear to her now. She had not made him see how important he was to her. It had all happened so fast, after all. He always wants what is best for me, and to protect me. He thought he had to protect me from himself. Of course!
But now Sansa thought that she should still not move too fast, so she made a plan. I will forgive him. I will make him love me the way I love him. I will make him see that he loves me, so he knows that he does not need to protect me from himself. And when the time is right, I'll tell him I love him. Everything will be perfect, then. We just need time.
"I would never throw you away, Sandor. I don't want to be apart from you. I have been so horrible to you this past week. And I have felt so miserable fighting with you. I want things to go back to being the way they were between us when we were at the cave. I forgive you, Sandor. Can you forgive me?" Sansa looked up at Sandor from beneath her eyelashes. Even after his speech, she was a little worried he might refuse her. She did not want there to be any confusion about her intentions, though.
"Silly Little Bird," he chuckled roughly, "there is nothing for me to forgive. You are too fucking perfect." With that he leaned down and took her face in his hands. Looking into her eyes, he slowly lowered his lips onto hers. Yes. I missed this. I needed this.
Standing in her smallclothes, wrapped in Sandor's arms, Sansa felt good again for the first time in a week. She felt whole again. She deepened their kiss and squirmed in his arms. She was so aroused and she wanted him to touch her again. She had never wanted anything so much.
Sandor smoothed his hands down her body and she felt the heat of his touch light a fire within her. He groped her body, more gently than she had remembered. Then his hands were pulling her smallclothes off of her. Yes, yes, yes!
Suddenly, Sandor lifted her completely off her feet and walked her to the tub. He gently set her down in the still warm water and walked away from her.
"What are you doing Sandor?!" Sansa was shocked at her current position and frustrated that he left her naked and wanting. Again.
Sandor chuckled at her tone. "The maids will be back with my water in a few minutes, Little Bird. Take your bath, I'll wait outside. We have time for this after." He was panting still and his voice was rough with arousal.
"Stay with me, Sandor." Sansa did not want to be apart from him after just getting him back.
He laughed. "Can't, Little Bird. I told them I was your father. It would be improper for a father to stay with his daughter while she bathed. And I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of you. Imagine what the maids would think when they caught us that way. Just take your bath. I'll take mine. And then we have the rest of the night. Maybe longer." He walked out the door, before she could keep arguing.
I have him back. He wants me. He always wanted me. He will love me soon. Everything will work out perfectly. Sansa let her happiness fill her up and give her energy she hadn't felt in days as she scrubbed away the last week from her body and her mind.
Well done, dog. She forgave you. Now you just need to control yourself with her until you find out how she feels. Sandor was thinking to himself as he bathed. His Little Bird had dressed for bed, and was waiting politely in the hall, close to the door. Sandor convinced himself he could give the Little Bird what she wanted (what we both want) and keep himself from scaring her away or ruining her completely. At least, he hoped he could. Sandor Clegane was not used to this feeling. He liked feeling powerful. Even taking orders, there is a certain feeling of control when you are powerful. Sansa took all of that away from him. He was completely at her mercy, even if she didn't know it. You fucking told her as much, dog. She's just too bloody innocent and good to understand what that means. She can have whatever she wants from you just by batting her eyelashes.
Still, despite his brutish inner thinking, Sandor felt like a weight had lifted off his shoulders. It did not matter that they were on the run and in constant danger. He had his Little Bird back. He still had to dig himself out of the hole he put himself in, but she was willing to trust him again. Willing to be with him again. Aye, wet and willing to play again, crazy girl. Stop fucking around in the bath, dog, and go get your bone. It's been long enough since you last had a chew.
Sandor rose from the tub, happy to be clean again. He never particularly cared about his cleanliness before, but there was something so right about being clean and fresh when he was around his Little Bird. It was almost like being clean helped him forget himself. Helped him forget all the reasons why he and Sansa together was so wrong and horrible. He wanted to be good for her. You need to try your best with this and not fuck it up. How many chances do you think you'll get?
Sandor considered dressing. He did not want to rush his Little Bird. No matter how willing she seemed before they bathed, he would go at her pace and he did not want to predict it. But he also thought of how he left her in the cave. She was completely exposed and vulnerable when he walked out on her. Maybe he could keep winning back her trust if he put himself in that position in front of her. Maybe you're just a sick old dog who wants to fuck and knows that the best way to do that is naked. Don't scare her, stupid!
Resolved, Sandor pulled on his breeches, but kept his shirt off. He walked to the door and took a deep breath. Just let her control everything and don't be beast. He opened the door.
Sansa was standing just outside the door, looking radiant. She was chewing her finger absent-mindedly. She looked to be thinking. When she saw him, her face lit up in a brilliant smile. You don't deserve her, dog. He couldn't help reminding himself how he was not worthy. Aye, and keep it up! Maybe it'll help you remember to treat her gently!
"Did you enjoy your bath?" she asked him.
"Aye, Little Bird. It feels good to be clean again. Clean and well fed on the run. We have been lucky."
Sansa looked at him then and smiled again.
"I think we have," she replied.
She walked toward him in the doorway, looking into his eyes. Sandor stared at her dumbly. She seemed to be waiting for something.
She glanced at her feet and asked him, almost shyly,
"Won't you let me in our room?"
Bugger me through all seven fucking hells, he thought. Our room. I like that more than I should. Stop being so stupid dog, stop gaping at her and let her in.
Sandor grunted and backed into the room, Sansa following behind him. The room was very dimly lit and it was late. Sandor watched Sansa sit down on the bed and watched as she yawned. He remembered, then, how little she had been sleeping, and how long it had been since they had stopped and rested.
"I'm fucking exhausted Little Bird, and I know you are too. Why don't we just lay down and get some rest? We can stay here safely for some time into tomorrow, I think."
Sansa was torn when Sandor asked her if she wanted to just go to sleep. On the one hand, she felt like she had been without Sandor for so long. The entire time they fought, it was like he was not there. The Hound was there, tormenting and embarrassing her. Now that she had her Sandor back, she wanted to take advantage of it. Also, he had awoken such strong feelings within her when they were in the cave. She was in love with him and her body was crying out for him to touch her again. She had been completely inexperienced before him, and, now, those thoughts and desires all but consumed her mind. She could not escape them. Could not fight them.
On the other hand, though, she was exhausted. She could not deny how tired she was and how strongly her body begged her for rest. Especially now. She had been well fed. She was clean. And her mind was finally calm and at peace, knowing she had Sandor back.
There will be time. And you should not rush into things again. Last time he broke your heart, and just because he has started to put it back together does not mean you should dive in so completely again.
"Yes, Sandor, I think resting would be a good idea."
Sansa noticed that Sandor looked slightly disappointed before he blew out the candles. I know the feeling, she thought to herself.
Sansa got into bed and pulled the blanket over herself. She felt the mattress sag as Sandor sat on the other side and got himself under the blanket as well. The air around them was buzzing. She could feel their tension. It was awkward. This was the first time they lay together since the cave. Sandor made no move to hold her, and she did not know if she should reach out to him. I hate this. This is not the kind of intensity I want to feel. I want to feel his warmth spreading through me again. You need to show him you forgive him, and things will get better.
Sansa reached next to her. She found Sandor's hand and grabbed it.
"Please, come closer to me. I've been without you for so long, it feels. I just want you near me."
Sansa heard a low chuckle. "Aye, Little Bird. I know the feeling."
Sandor moved himself closer, turned on his side, grabbed Sansa, and pulled her up against his body. The tension in the room broke and they both sighed. Sandor nuzzled his face into Sansa's hair, and Sansa held onto Sandor's strong arms where they were wrapped around her.
"I've bloody well missed you, Little Bird. I hated you being so mad at me. Hated myself for it."
"Hush. It's in the past." Sansa felt Sandor's lips press against her head as she relaxed even further into him.
This feels like home, she thought as she felt herself drift to sleep.
I love happy endings. *sigh*. This is emphatically NOT the ending, as there are sexy times immediately ahead (these two don't do so well sleeping by each other, do they?), but happiness, none-the-less! :)