Enter: Chapter four. The Times They Are A-Changin' is by Bob Dylan. I really don't know how their class schedules work, I'm just making it up. It's getting stranger as I go…sorry about that. And I'm sticking the wandless magic thing in there because it's interesting, even though it's not necessarily true in the books, from what I've heard.

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Chapter Four: Because We Are a Clever Cliché

"Come gather 'round, people, wherever you roam, and admit that the waters around you have grown and accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone. If your time to you is worth saving, then you better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone, for the time's, they are a-changin'."

"Sirius…"

"Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen, and keep your eyes wide, the chance won't come again and don't speak too soon for the wheel's still in spin…"

"Sirius."

"…And there's no tellin' who that it's namin'. For the loser now will be later to win, for the times, they are a changin'!"

"SIRIUS."

"What?"

"Hurry up. You're such a slow eater when you're in the mood for singing. Where did you learn that song, anyway?"

"When I was in first year, some seventh years taught it to me. You know, the sixties and all. I guess they thought I was alright for an eleven-year-old. Good times."

Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter were finishing up the last of déjeuner and also celebrating the fact that an extremely long Potions lesson was over.

"The first lesson of the week…is always the worst." Peter said.

"I'd say all lessons are the worst. And you actually showed up for that one, too." Sirius agreed.

"It always seems to be one important class that's missed…at least one Monday every month. What am I going to do in the real world?"

"That's just what I said. You take from James for the rest of your life, and everything will be fine. Just don't come to me with your mayonnaise."

"In the long run, he really is a pushover. It should be easy to steal-I mean-borrow from him for the rest of my life."

"Hey! Stop putting ideas in his head!"

"But it's true, Prongs. You never say no, always yes. If I told you to hang from the parapets you'd do it if I begged enough."

"That's another one for the list, then."

"I heard something strange about Dumbledore the other day," said Peter.

"Another tall tale? Tell us, then!" Sirius exclaimed. "It'll make life more interesting when we're 36 and we have things to blackmail him with."

"Why 36?"

"I don't know, it just seemed like a good number. You know…when we're finally rich, and…"

"And he's married to Moony. Come on Wormtail, tell us this wonderful information."

"Married?"

"Well, Dumbledore really enjoys--"

"Strudel?"

"Socks."

"Socks?"

"No, really. Married? I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I was married to you, Moony. I wonder what our children would look like…Of course I'd have to keep you away from the in-laws."

Remus dropped his fork with a loud clang on the plate and addressed the ceiling. "I really need to get some new friends."

"Why does he like socks so much?" James asked.

"I don't know, something about never getting any for Christmas."

"We should get him some, then we'll be his favorite students of all time."

"In case you haven't noticed, Prongs, we are his favorite students of all time," Sirius said, "I mean, we're the only ones that really hang out with him after those parties, and who else gives him ideas for his growing list of novellas? He needs some moral stories, and since we're making so many mistakes all the time, we're just the people to give some great ideas."

"Yeah, but you can never be too sure of these things. I say we buy some that make feet extra quiet. Then he'll be able to sneak into places that he doesn't normally go and scare people."

"Doesn't he already do that?" asked Peter.

"Yes, but the socks will make it a highlight."

"I'd love to keep hearing you all talk about foot decorations, but we're going to be late for Charms…remember what happened last time?"

"Oh yes," Peter remembered, "I had a really hard time getting my head out of that jar, thanks to you," he shot an angry glare at Remus.

"You said take cover, so my natural reaction was to put you in front of my face."

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Charms went as usual. Peter went into some sort of predicament with an unusually advanced charm involving invisibility and the four phases of matter, James and Sirius played with voice variations and Remus practiced his wandless magic. He was attempting to make a handful of flames appear in his right hand, but it was proving rather difficult. James kept looking at Sirius and widening his eyes, telling him to go for it while Remus was distracted.

"Transfiguration during Charms?" whispered Sirius, "how uncivilized." He moved away from a bewildered James and sat across from Remus, who was staring intently at his hand. Aduro dextera. Aduro dextera.

"Hey Moony…why are you staring at your hand?"

"I'm trying to hold the flames." he said in an expressionless tone.

"Well, it doesn't seem to be working. Wandless magic is difficult you know…that's why no one really uses it. What's the phrase?"

"Aduro dextera." He continued to think it, a little bothered by his friend's interruption.

"Well, I see your problem." Sirius said. "You're focusing too much."

"How can I focus too much? That's what it's about."

"Yes, but you aren't just letting the fire come to you. You can't expect the fire to spring into your hand, you know…unless you light it with a match, of course. You have to wait for the flames. Be the fire, Remus. Be the fire."

"But what would you know about fire?"

"Oh, I know loads about fire. A flame is an exothermic, self-sustaining oxidizing chemical reaction producing energy and glowing hot matter, of which a very small portion is plasma."

"Well I don't know what you just said, which is a first for me, but I can see what you mean about focusing too much…I think." He sighed and leaned back in his chair a little, still staring at his right hand. This time he would wait patiently, perhaps decrease the frustration of staring at all the fingerprints and ridges for so long.

…Aduro dextera.

And lo, the bright flames started as a small flicker, then grew into a satisfying blue light. He smiled as the flames danced off of his own blue eyes. Ignis expello. The flames were extinguished.

"Finally! I can do it. Professor!"

"Yes," observed Professor Flitwick, "I've been watching you two experiment. Very impressive, indeed!"

"Of course, I helped. As the expert on fire and light here, don't you know." Sirius interjected. "You be the flame, Reemits."

"Just wait until you see what I can do with plasma!" Peter exclaimed.

"Do we really want to know that information?"

--

"Can we get back to the plot, here?"

"Why James, I haven't the faintest idea of what you mean."

"Oh yes, you do. Come on, if I'm not going to make another attempt tonight, then who is?"

"Well, while you have been impatiently sitting and waiting for me to make a fool of myself--"

"Which you usually do."

"--I have, in fact, been in the act of seducing Moony all day long."

"You aren't very good at the art of seduction. I know this, because every time a girl looks at you…wait. Why would you be seducing Moony? Oh, right. So you can marry him. You know, somehow I really don't think our parents would like that idea very much. And your kids would have to start calling me Uncle James. Not good."

The group had retired to their usual posts for the night; Remus curling up by the fire, James and Sirius scheming near the table, and Peter scribbling away at his work on the floor. Some other students also occupied the room, chatting or pouring over their own homework. Sirius' master plan was finally going to come true while showing off what a wonderful, intelligent and loving person he was. For once he did not abandon caution and proceed to reckless action, which made him very proud.

"Not that type of seduction. Although I heard that some ladies find it quite charming when two males--"

"I don't want to hear it. What do you mean?"

"I mean that since I have been very, how you say, un-mischievous today and an all around nice person, that Moony will in turn trust me more. Thereby leading him to sit next to me, which lends me a fair chance and a good shot at his bum."

"Don't you think it would be easier if I just lessened the intensity of the dizzying charm for us?"

"No, any settings must stay intact the moment the game has been started…don't you know these things, Prongs?"

"Apparently not."

"Watch, I'm going to gently persuade him."

"Psst, hey Moony…" Remus peeked round from behind the chair.

"Wha? I was just getting to the floating square indentation…" it seemed that he had just awakened from a nap. Sirius walked around the chair and heaved his drowsy friend up and dragged him to the sofa where James was sitting.

As soon as he sat down next to Remus, the dizziness and blindness washed over him. He froze into the spot, placing a hand in the air.

"You call that gentle persuasion?"

"Moony, is that your face?"

"Yes, darling. Pass me the muffin while your at it."

"Good. I'll get you that muffin, just promise me you won't move from that spot…until I get it to you."

The room was spinning. Up, down, sideways. Sirius had his hand on Remus' face, determined to aim in the right direction. Just three feet away. Right in front of him. It was him and Remus, spinning in a blind dance of swirling dizziness. Prongs was going down. He aimed in the right direction, and thought. It was over. Had he won? I aimed in the right direction…His vision slowly returned to a sight he did not want to see. A few students had stopped what they were doing and stared curiously in Peter's direction.

"Darling, why does Peter have a tail?"

"Aaah!" Sirius cried and flung a hand over Remus' eyes, praying that he was tired enough to take it for a dream. He looked, panic-stricken, towards James.

"You're on your own, mate."

Peter stared at the beautiful tail in bewilderment. Sirius took a surprised Peter by his collar and Remus by the arm and began to drag them upstairs. "I was this close, Prongs, this close."

"Wait! Can I touch his tail?"

"Did you hear that Padfoot? They want to touch my tail."

"You know Sirius, I always thought Peter would make a great squirrel. Where's that muffin you promised me?"

"It's…er…upstairs in the closet, I need some help reaching it."

"Fine, just don't make any more hollow promises, all right?"

"Padfoot, let me go! I was just on the verge of a breakthrough…and they want to see the tail. I don't know what you're up to, but I'm going to find out as soon as I can get this thing off my backside."

"Fine, just don't wave it around too much." he whispered. "Come on, Remus." Frustrated but relieved, Sirius made his way up the steps with his disoriented friend, but not before James called after them.

"Hey hey, don't get too cozy up there!"

Peter scrambled down to bask in his fifteen minutes of fame.

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Aduro dextera: to set fire to the right hand. (Either that or Dextera aduro.)

It's not such a great chapter. Next day, Remus won't be so tired, and neither will I. Thanks for the reviews! Peter isn't so innocent as written.