A/N: Okay... I veer a little off the normal "Sam" path here but its not for long and it has context. Bear with me! :D

Sam rolled over in his bed and slammed his fist down on his alarm clock. It didn't matter that it had been three weeks since he heard it ring it was still one of the most annoying sounds he had ever heard. He jumped out of bed and showered. In the bathroom with a towel around his waist he pulled a small bandage from the first aid kit and applied it to the wound on his wrist. The swelling went down weeks ago and the stitches were taken out shortly after that. He had passed all the reflex tests and seemed to be on a road to full recovery though he still had pain when he clenched his fist too tight.

He dressed quickly and packed his work bag then hurried down to his truck to get to the division for his re-evaluation exam. He knew he would be too early but he needed to get there, soak in the familiar surroundings to calm his nerves. He parked up and went straight into the locker room where he changed into his uniform. He was sitting on the bench, flexing his hand with a red stress ball when Oliver walked in to change for his shift.

"Hey! Brother!" Oliver came over to Sam and hugged him. "Great to have you back!"

"Not back yet."

"Just a formality of course," Oliver said as he opened his bag and started to change for his shift. "I was with you at the firing range the other day. You didn't miss one shot."

"Yeah, should be back out on the streets in by lunch time right?"

"And in the Black penny by dinner time."

They both laughed. Oliver continued to dress, not oblivious to the sombre mood in his friend. He watched as Sam sat in the bench, flexing that stress ball over and over. He was wearing a short sleeved uniform shirt underneath his vest and the bandages were a stark white contract to his tanned skin and made them stand out all the more. Oliver looked away.

"Are you coming out to parade?" he asked Sam when he stood to fix his vest on.

"No. I'm going down to the training centre, I don't want to be late."

"Okay. Well like I said, just a formality. I'll see you in the penny this evening?"

"For sure."

"Good."

Oliver left. Sam stood an took a few deep breaths. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous. He had been injured on the job before and he had taken re=evaluation tests before but this one seemed different. He had been going to the mandated counselling sessions and the doctor had given him the all clear to go back to work. He believed Oliver when he said it was just a formality. He had been a the firing rage nearly every day since he could lift his gun again and he knew he was back to his own level.

But something. Something was stopping him from feeling the confidence he was used to.

There was a timid knock on the door and Sam turned to see Andy walking in. Her smile widened when she saw him and she all but bounded over to him.

"Hey…" She said as she gave him a short awkward hug, like she wasn't sure how it was going to be received. Her arms were around his, trapping them by his sides, and she patted his back. "You're here!"

"Eh, Yeah."

"Oliver told me your re-eval was today."

"Oh."

"So I just wanted to wish you luck, though you won't need it. He said you've been down at the range and you are just as good as you ever were."

"Did he?"

"But just in case, so you know today is going to be a good day, I brought you this."

She produced a non-descript bag from her back and held it out to him. He looked down at the bag and up and her expectant smiling face. He took it, started to unwrap it and her smile widened even further. Sam knew what he was holding even before he got to the second layer. The familiar shape and size, the same packaging he couldn't help the smile that curved his lips as he pulled out the pulled pork sandwich.

"I got it from that place you like on Bloor. I wasn't sure what to order though, but the guy saw my uniform, I guess he doesn't get too many cops because I think he knew what I was looking for. Maybe you go there too often. Might wanna think about your food choices when the food truck guy knows what you like." Andy was babbling. She tried to rein it in but it had taken in a life of its own.

"Thanks McNally." He spoke softly.

"Okay, well I'm late for parade…as usual," she talked as she started to walk back out of the room. "So I gotta go. Best of luck sir." She stumbled at the door, almost tripping herself up. Steadied herself on the wall then looked back at Sam who was still smiling at her, blushed and walked out.

Sam looked down at the sandwich in his hand and unwrapped it a bit more. He took a large bite and smiled as he chewed, then wrapped it back up and put it into his locker before heading down to the training centre for his exam.

Andy and Dov arrived at the Black Penny together and went straight to the bar. Chris, Traci and Gail were behind them so they ordered two pitchers and collected 5 glasses, then carried them over to a free table in the middle.

"What. A. Day." Dov poured out a pint for each of them and handed Andy hers then they toasted and took a long drink. "Can you believe that I had to chase that woman on the beach?"

"She just kept running… she was so fast!" Andy covered her mouth with her hand as she laughed.

"She wasn't wearing shoes! Everyone knows it's easier to run on sand without shoes!"

"Yeah it certainly looks that way."

"Besides, she was an athlete!" Dov argued still then lifted his hand to wave at the others as they came in. They crossed the room to join the table as Dov was pouring out more drinks and passing them out.

"An athlete? Dov she was a show jumper…it's the horse that does all the heavy lifting in that sport!" Andy responded.

"God, is he still going on about that woman at the beach?" Gail said and she rolled her eyes.

"Did you see her vault over those dunes?!" They all laughed.

They finished these pitchers and Gail and Chris went up to buy two more. Traci had disappeared, Andy suspected with Jerry and most of the shift was finished and had come to the pub, leaving standing room only at the bar. There was an odd sense of anticipation in the room that Andy couldn't place. It was Friday night, she had Saturday off; it felt like it was the last day of school before the summer and everyone was in a good mood.

"Have you seen him yet?" Dov asked noticing how she was zoned out.

"Who?"

"Swarek."

"I spoke to him this morning but not since."

"I'm sure he passed. Can't imagine Swarek doin any other job."

"No," Andy laughed. "Can you imagine him selling insurance?"

"Making fancy coffees in Tim Horton's?"

"Oh god…" Andy slapped the table as she laughed. "Waiting tables at Denny's…with that uniform!"

They were both still laughing when the Gail and Chris came back with their drinks.

"Speak of the devil…" Dov said as he sobered up and saw Oliver and Sam walking through the door. All the cops that were standing nearby cheered and clapped as they made their way to the bar. Andy looked over her shoulder and smiled at him but he didn't look in her direction. He was out of uniform and was wearing a black tee over a white long sleeve with the sleeve on his right arm pulled right down past his wrist. He waved off the well-wishers and ordered drinks for himself and Oliver.

"Certified!" Oliver shouted as they each took a shot and downed it. Sam laughed at his friend an ordered another. "Certifiable!" he shouted this time before they drank.

"Okay…I gotta slow down," Sam said and he ordered a couple of bottles of beers instead. "I've been on meds for a few weeks; my body is not ready for an onslaught of alcohol."

"Sink or swim Sammy!"

"Shouldn't you be buying me these drinks?" am slapped his friend on the back.

"No, no that's not that way it works!" Oliver reasoned with him. "See while you were in hospital, and then at home on meds and no alcohol could pass those pretty lips, I had to drink twice as much to keep this bar open! So the way I see it, you owe me!"

Sam laughed then tilted his bottle so Oliver could clink then they both took long drink. They moved over to the pool table and Sam did his best to keep up with Oliver's drinks but it was no use. It had almost been a month since he had been out drinking and already he was feeling the effects. He finished the game of pool then reached for his jacket.

"Alright brother, I'm gonna head off."

"What?!" Oliver looked at the clock on the wall. "Its 10.30, its Friday, we're off tomorrow!"

"I'm wrecked, it's been a long day."

Sam bowed his head as he fixed his coat and started to walk towards the back door. Oliver finished his drink, passed the cue he was holding to the next player and followed him out to the car lot.

"Hey, Sam, Sammy wait up!" Oliver caught up but Sam kept walking. "What's goin on here?"

"What? Nothing. Is it such a big deal that I don't want to stay out drinking?"

"Well…yeah!" Oliver kept pace with his friend. "Yeah, it is actually." Sam didn't respond. He kept walking. "So…spill."

Sam slowed down and then stopped and Oliver turned to face him.

"You know when that guy was on the roof…he had just made up his mind. I could have lassoed him with grappling hooks and that guy would have fallen. Maybe not when I was there but he would have found a way."

"Of course. There was nothing you could have done do to save him."

"Well...when I was trying to pull him up, when I ended up over the edge myself, holding on only by this small curb… and McNally holding my gun belt!" he laughed but Oliver didn't even smile. "I was lying there waiting to fall and I thought…so what…so what if I fall."

"So what?"

"What have I got here that would be worth pulling myself back up for?"

"Jesus Sammy when did you get so maudlin? Was your new blood donated by some sad sack?"

"I've let too many things pass me by, and all I could think of was why? I know, it's stupid."

"Damn right it's stupid. You've got Sarah, your sister. Me, your brother!" Oliver said and he thumped Sam in the shoulder. "It sounds to me like you're stuck in a med fuelled rut. 2 weeks without posing in that uniform, no wonder you're feeling shitty."

"It's not just that…It's…something else." He patted his friend on the arm and tried to smile. "Look, go back to the penny. Enjoy your night. I really am wrecked. I need the early night."

"Ok. See you tomorrow?"

"Sure." Sam waved, tried to smile at him again walked off. Oliver watched him for a moment then went back to the penny.

Back at the bar he ordered a drink and was waiting by the pool table when Andy came up beside him.

"Hey, McNally." He said over his shoulder as he took the cue and played his shot.

"Sir, is… officer Swarek gone?"

"Yeah, he just left." Oliver circled the table and took another shot but the ball bounced off the corner cushion and didn't go in.

"Oh…" Oliver looked up and saw her fidget with a coaster on the bar. "Okay, well I'm just glad he got certified." She forced a smile an went back to her table where she grabbed her coat.

"You're leaving?" Dov asked.

"Yeah, I have a lot of things I need to get done tomorrow and it will be a write off if I stay here much longer."

"God Speed!" Dov called out and lifted his glass as she left.

Andy left the bar and walked a couple of blocks as she tried to hail a cab. When she had gotten so far without success she decided to just walk the rest of the way. She reached into her bag and pulled out her phone and earphones, slipped her earphones in and hit shuffle on the music app to play a song. The music was loud and drowned out the city traffic noises as she walked.

She got to her street and was already rummaging in her bag for her keys. With her bag pulled to her front and her head bent down as she searched, she didn't see the hand that reached out from behind to grab her shoulder.

Andy screamed, grabbed the hand, pulled it forward then thrust her hip back to carry her assailant past her and onto the ground. She didn't waste any time after that and jumped down with her knee aimed for his solar plexus, not realising till it was too late that it was Sam she has just vaulted. The shock of seeing him knocked her off balance and he used her momentum to push her knee to the side then moved her body and rolled with her so she landed on her back and he was on top of her.

Andy lay there panting; her shock and fear were fading. Sam was lying on top of her, with her legs spread-eagled. He was talking to her but she couldn't hear what he was saying.

"What?" she said. Sam reached up to her head and pulled out her earphones.

"I was trying to call you, you couldn't hear me. I didn't mean to scare you."

"You scared me…" she repeated.

"Yeah, I got that."

They lay like that, on the pavement for a moment more. She was still breathing rapidly but he didn't even seem to have a hair out of place.

"Can I…eh…get up?" she asked when he showed no signs of moving.

"Oh, right yeah, sorry." He climbed off her then took her hands and pulled her up.

"What are you doing here?" she brushed herself off, put her earphones into her bag and started to rummage for her keys again.

"I was out for a walk."

"15 blocks from your place?"

"I was on my way home from the penny."

"Then you are going in the wrong direction."

Sam smiled. "Okay, I wanted to see you."

"Me?" she finally put her hands on her keys. "What did you want to see me for… and I was in the Penny too. You could have seen me then."

"I did see you then." Sam bowed his head. "But I wanted to talk to you actually."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"That day. That day on the roof…" Sam hesitated. He bowed his head, breaking eye contact with her.

"Do you want to come inside?" she asked and she jingled her keys between her hands.

"Not yet…" Sam took a step forward and took hold of her hands. "Just let me say this…That day on the roof I nearly fell."

"I had you, I wouldn't have let you fall."

"I know, McNally," Sam smiled. "But I nearly did fall. And then I got stabbed and I nearly died anyway. And all I could think of was that I was a coward."

"Sam you are not a coward."

"I didn't want to go to my deathbed thinking of opportunities missed."

"What are you on about-"

Sam let go of her hands, grabbed her face and kissed her. Andy stood still, shock coursing through her system as he moved his lips and stepped a little closer but when his tongue touched her lips she was spurred into action. She moved her hands against his chest and pushed him away.

"Sam…don't." He stepped back dropped his arms by his side and watched her. "What you went through that day, was awful. Nearly falling off that roof. Getting stabbed, nearly dying from blood loss, then the threat of losing mobility in your hand… it was one thing after another."

"Andy-"

"You can't tell me that you are over all of that already. This, what you are doing now, isn't real. It's a coping mechanism."

Sam laughed. "Coping mechanism?"

"Yes. You need to work through the trauma. Then when you find yourself on solid ground again-"

"Look McNally," he waved his hands at her defensively. "I didn't come here for an emotional lecture."

"So what did you come here for? To get laid?"

Sam smiled widely, crossed his arms over his chest and wagged his eyebrows at her.

"Go home Sam."

She turned and walked away from him.

"McNally wait…" he caught up with her but she continued up her front steps.

"No Sam. Not like this." She looked at him for a moment then let herself in and closed and locked the door behind her.

Sam stood at the bottom of the steps, his arms open and his mouth agape. The resonate sound of the lock slicking into place let him believe that she wasn't coming back out to him.