(Leon: 2275/???: 2275).
"So it has come it at the last. Yin and Yang. Good and Evil. Light and Dark. Playing a game that's been done a billion times over. Exciting, isn't it?"
It grinned, showing a mouth full of dirty teeth. Leon realised, shocked, that his other half was actually enjoying this. Not the infliction of pain and suffering, but the actual game. Not, he thought, that it didn't have good reason. It had Masked Dragon and Spear Dragon in play, but nothing else. Leon had nothing except his DNA Surgery, which would transform every monster into a Beast, and a now-useless Dragon Capture Jar. Even worse, he had no cards left in his hand.
Come on. If the audience likes a good battle, then that's what they should get. Deck don't fail me now…
He drew. His opponent's dragons hissed at him, hungry.
Hmm. Not exactly the way I wanted to win, but…"I sacrifice DNA Surgery and Dragon Capture Jar."
His traps vanished in a pillar of smoke. The horrendous implants grafted on to his opponent's dragons disappeared, transforming them back into Dragons. His other half raised his eyebrows.
"You're sacrificing Traps? This should be interesting…"
The smoke began to rise, forming into a tall, insectile figure.
"Fiends, Beasts, and now Insects? It's worse then I thought…"
Leon shrugged. "I had a feeling this might happen. I summon my Anteatereatingant (2000)!"
From the smoke emerged a huge, black insect. Huge, silvery pincers emerged from its massive jaws. Large, blue-white eyes glared hungrily at his opponent, as it slammed its long legs into the ground.
"Attack Spear Dragon!"
His insect lunged, gobbling Spear Dragon whole in its fearsome mandibles. Having attacked in the previous round, the monster was in defence mode, so the attack caused no damage
"How nauseating." His other half said, chuckling. Leon winced.
I didn't want to use this card…but it works well in this deck. Once this is over… I should redesign this deck. But will I ever be able to duel after this?
"I end my turn."
It drew, giving it a total of two cards in its hand. Its face split into a wide grin.
"How very nice. My most loyal creature has decided to join the party…"
Leon's eyes narrowed. His Red-Eyes Black Dragon? But he needs two sacrifices…
"I activate Tribute Doll!"
Oh. So much for that theory.
An odd, doll-like figure emerged from the Spell. It dangled limply from thin, white, strings, keening softly in a high-pitched voice.
"This card allows me to sacrifice one monster on my side of the field, and then I can play a seven-star monster from my hand. So Masked Dragon is this sacrifice…"
He gestured towards it. The black doll moved over it, eyes glowing red. The strings binding it began to wrap around the monster, drawing them closer together. With a eerie screech, the two vanished.
"And I summon Red-Eyes Black Dragon!"
Leon swore. The great, ebony dragon took to the field, screaming for blood. It hissed, steam gushing from its mouth. It bared its gaping maw of teeth, bellowing in anger. Leon's insect seemed to shrink to nothing before it. His opponent laughed, and stated simply.
"I love this card."
Once again, Leon was sure he was telling the truth. It was enjoying the game for it's own sake, just like he used to do.
Like I am doing now.
"Red-Eyes, attack! Inferno Fire Blast!"
His dragon beat its powerful wings and took flight. A massive fireball shot out, incinerating Leon's monster. The massive insect screamed as it was burnt alive.
For all the speeches about respecting your cards, I'm not sorry to see that one go…
(Leon: 1875/???: 2275).
"I'm done." It simply said.
Leon swallowed hard. He had nothing left in play, and no cards in his hand.
If I don't draw something now…it's over.
He looked at the Red-Eyes. It was bristling with anger and hate, like a dog straining at the leash. The look in its crimson eyes was murderous. He sighed.
Is that what it takes to be strong?
He looked at his deck.
I don't play Tribute monsters out of respect for my deck…but it looks like that was a mistake. And it's too late to change it…
He reached for his deck, to draw his last card.
"In the centre of my heart, I make the rules."
He blinked. It wasn't possible…was it?
It's cheating…but then again, you know what they say about desperate times and desperate measures…Pot of Greed would be useful right now.
The top card of his deck glowed white. His face split into a smile. He drew, flipping the card around.
"Pot of Greed. I draw two."
Hmm. Wonder if it'll work twice.
His top card gleamed white again. He took the cards off his deck, and the glow faded.
Smashing Ground and Graceful Charity would be nice.
Sure enough, those were his draws. He whipped one of them into his duel disk.
"Smashing Ground!"
A massive fist thrusted down through the theatre's roof, slamming into the dragon. It shrieked in pain as it shattered. His opponent scowled.
"Lucky draw."
Lucky nothing, for once. Leon thought with satisfaction. He placed his next card in his duel disk.
"Graceful Charity. I draw three cards, and discard two."
Once more the top card shone with white light. Leon glanced at his opponent, but he hadn't noticed.
Or he doesn't care. Nimble Momonga!
He discarded the other two cards his deck gave him, which were from his regular deck. His monster winked at him.
Excellent tactics, sir!
Leon grinned. Thanks, buddy.
"To complete my move I place one monster in defence mode."
His other half looked at him, his eyes unusually sharp.
"Don't think I don't know what you did."
Leon struggled to keep his face impassive. "What do you mean?"
"You're cheating. Since this is your mind, you're manipulating your deck psychically to give you the cards you need. How else could you draw exactly what you needed multiple times?"
"Dumb luck?"
It swore at him. Leon chuckled.
"Temper, temper."
It crossed its arms. "Not a bad trick. Exactly what I would have done. Speaking of which…"
His top card swelled with black light. Leon narrowed his eyebrows.
"You wouldn't."
It grinned. His other half looked like a madman in the dim light.
"It's my mind as well."
It drew, handling his top card with extreme care, like an armed warhead. The grin widened.
"I activate Card of Variation. Now I draw two cards, but I must discard one at the end of the turn or take three thousands points of damage."
It drew two. His deck retained its black aura. He placed a card in his duel disk.
"Pot of Greed."
His other half drew two more, giving him a total of three. He took another card from his hand.
"Foolish Burial. I send Meteor Dragon from my deck to the Graveyard."
It swiftly found the card and discarded it.
"My next Spell card: Dragon's Mirror! Now I remove my Red-Eyes Black Dragon and my Meteor Dragon from the game, in order to summon the Meteor Black Dragon!"
The dragons ejected from the graveyard. It pocketed them, smiling evilly. Shadow images of the dragons appeared on the field, and began to drift together. They merged, forming a monstrous dragon with purple and red skin. Uncloaked hate burned in its eyes; a raw desire to destroy and feed on the flesh and blood of its enemies. Thick, muscular wings grew from its back. The beast was so bulky that Leon was surprised that it could fly at all. Row upon row of long, sharp teeth seemed to fill the gaping jaws, able to consume anything and everything it wished to. It glared hungrily at its prey.
"Attack his facedown monster with Volcanic Eruption Flame!"
A colossal burst of heat and light blasted from his dragon in a shockwave, blasting his monster apart. Leon grabbed the other two Nimble Momonga from his deck and set them on the field.
(Leon: 2875/???: 2275).
"I hate those damn rats!"
"And they've always hated you." Leon shot back.
It snorted, discarding the last card in his hand to pay Card of Variation's cost. Leon drew his next card.
Damn. Gazelle the King of Mythical Beasts? That can't help me now!
"I set a monster in defence mode. That ends my turn."
It sneered at him as it drew. "How desperate. Meteor Black Dragon, roast the monster he just set!"
Gazelle screamed as it was incinerated, no match for the dragon's ferocity. Leon ground his teeth in frustration.
It seems my luck has run out.
He drew.
Frenzied Beast Ritual…it's useless to me right now. What the hell am I going to do?
"I pass." Leon muttered quietly.
His other half chuckled. "Bad draw? Aww."
It drew, gesturing to his dragon. Leon shielded his eyes as it burnt one of his two remaining Momonga to a crisp.
(Leon: 3875/???: 2275).
"Your move, Leon."
Damn. Come on, there's got to be something I can do…
He picked his next card up, almost afraid to look at it.
Yes!
"I activate Deepest Impact!"
"NO!"
A blazing meteor seemed to crash through the roof of the theatre, striking deep into the centre of the field. His last monster and Meteor Black Dragon were vaporised by the blast, leaving only a smoking ruin behind. His opponent was livid.
(Leon: 1937/???: 1137).
"You think you're so smart…you arrogant piece of crap. You're nothing to me!" it snarled angrily.
Leon merely folded his arms. "Your move."
It hissed like a snake preparing to strike, ripping a card from its duel disk.
"Fine!"
It growled angrily upon seeing the card.
"I pass."
Leon laughed. "Aww. Baby get a bad draw?"
It shot him a murderous look. Leon took the hint and drew.
Drop Off…it should buy me a turn, at least.
"I set one card facedown, and end my turn." He said.
It smiled. "Use up all your luck?"
Leon shrugged. "Possibly."
It drew a card, but Leon held up a hand.
"Hold on, brother. Drop Off will send your card to the Graveyard."
A sword blasted out of Leon's trap, slashing through his other half's drawn card. He dropped in his Graveyard, smiling.
"Nice try. But when my Earthly Remains Spell is sent to the Graveyard by my opponent's effect, I can draw two cards!"
Leon scowled as his opponent drew twice. It grinned as it activated one of them.
"Wyrm Summoning. From my deck, I summon my Twin-Headed Behemoth (1500)!"
His new monster was a dark purple in colour, its two heads snapping fiercely. Dark, leathery wings stretched from its back.
"Attack him directly!"
Leon screamed as twinjets of fire burnt him alive. He coughed, thick fluid coming out of his mouth from all the smoke.
(Leon: 437/???: 1137).
"What is it with you and the dragon fetish?!"
It snorted. "Charming. Dragons are noble creatures- they do not bow, they do not serve. They fight only for themselves and their own.
"Like me. I set one card and end my turn."
Leon drew.
Hmm…Newdoria.
"I set one monster in defence position. That's all."
"Getting desperate, aren't we?"
"Just…go."
It grinned. "Gladly. Twin-Headed Behemoth, attack!"
The spray of flames revealed Leon's monster, a skinny, hunchbacked creature wearing armour. It leered confidently as it was scorched, its wilted skin turning red with the heat.
"Newdoria, destroy Twin-Headed Behemoth with your special effect!" Leon roared.
His monster lashed out with its arms, seeming to extend them until they could wrap around the dragon's throat. It squeezed, crushing it like a straw even as the flames continues to rain down on it. Both monsters shattered. Leon sighed.
"This is a bloody stalemate."
His opponent's face darkened. "Sooner or later one of us will lose."
"Or you could surrender." Leon quipped.
It shrugged. "I end my turn. And now my Twin-Headed Behemoth returns to the field in defence mode, minus a few points (1000)."
His monster reappeared, but one of its heads was a bloody stump. The other one still snarled and bit, but the creature was far less formidable now. Leon picked up his next card.
Chiron the Mage…it's been quite a while. Right since the very start, we've been together…
"I summon Chiron the Mage in attack mode!"
His familiar centaur leapt from the card, brandishing its staff as a weapon.
"Next, I discard my Frenzied Beast Ritual to the Graveyard, and destroy your facedown card!"
His other half snarled angrily as Chiron twirled his staff, letting loose a blast of light. It revealed and destroyed the facedown, Rush Recklessly. Leon allowed himself a smirk.
"Chiron, wipe out his Behemoth!"
His centaur charged, crushing his opponent's monster underfoot. His opponent was visibly irked.
"You won't win."
Leon smiled. This was beginning to get to his other half.
"Wanna bet?"
As his other half drew, Leon checked the playing field. He had Chiron the Mage on the field, but no other cards in his hand or in play. His opponent had nothing in play either, but had a full hand of five cards.
Crap. This could be very, very, very, very bad.
His opponent took out one card from his hand, handling it carefully. Leon once again got the impressive of bomb waiting to go off.
"I activate Last Chance Fusion!"
(Leon: 437/???: 568).
Oh bugger.
His other half took a small pile of cards from a pocket- his Fusion Deck. His eyes were glinting evilly. The cards artwork was of a massive dragon with five heads towering over two figures. One was dressed in armour, with extremely familiar purple, black, and yellow hair. The other was dressed more simply in a blue outfit. A pendant like a Duel Monsters card hung from his neck. A great, white dragon with three heads, mounted by a knight in full armour and carrying a huge sword defended them.
"This card requires I pay half my Life Points, and remove one card from the top of my deck for each hundred points I have paid. Thus, five cards go bye-bye."
He took them off the top of his deck and tucked him into a pocket.
"Next, all components for a Fusion monster must be removed from play. If they are not, I may send one of the components there. Since my Red-Eyes is already out of play thanks to Dragon's Mirror, I send my Summoned Skull from my hand to the removed from play zone as well."
He held up the card, allowing Leon to see it before it joined the pile of cards that represented his removed from play pile.
He's setting himself up for something…
"The point of all this, my brother, is a Fusion monster who is unaffected by all Spell, Trap, and Monster effects. And with my Red-Eyes and Summoned Skull removed from play, I call upon the Black Skull Dragon!"
The monster that began to form was one of the ugliest dragons Leon had ever seen. Its skin was mottled and black, silverly white bones interspaced at every angle. Its body was a thick block of muscle and bone, forming a hard armoured core. Thick, brutish claws grew from its arms and feet, large enough to take a head off with one swing. Curved horns grew from its face, flanking a mouth filled with wickedly sharp teeth. Red eyes gleamed like rubies in its horrific face. Large, powerful wings jutted out from its massive bulk, bones placed strategically even there to use as a weapon. His other half looked fondly at it.
"Isn't it beautiful?"
The loving note in his voice shook Leon. The air of repulsion surrounding the beast was almost tangible.
"It's monstrous…"
"But so beautiful. Since I played Last Chance Fusion, I cannot attack or Normal summon this turn. So go ahead, if you have a move."
It paused, eyes shining with malevolence.
"Somehow I don't think you do."
Leon shook his head, despondent.
That's it, then. It's all over. There's no card in my deck that can destroy that dragon in battle, and none of my Spell, Trap, of Monster effects can hurt it either!
Despair seemed to flood from a pit in his heart, threatening to drown him, wash him away.
I fought for far longer then I ever should have done, sticking my nose into other people's business…look where it got me. About to lose my freaking mind to an evil version of myself!
He sighed, reaching for his deck to forfeit and end it all. It was shaking softly.
A fitting end for Leon the bloody fool.
Then, it hit him.
"I have something for you, but it won't work until you stop fighting him."
Taylor's words seemed to lock into place in his brain.
An evil version of myself. That's the whole point!
He glanced at his other half's face. His own eyes stared back at him.
That's right…he's just me. What I am, he is. There's no point to this fight any more. There's a way around everything. But even if there isn't, I've already won the real fight.
That's how he was made…born from my pain and anger at the world. We didn't just come from the sky one day, evil. We became what we were because of what was done to us. We chose to take this evil and do what we did. I can't undo that.
His own eyes, his own hands, his own words.
His own heart.
But I can understand why. And I can choose to be different.
The top card of his deck began to pulse with a faint white light, as if in agreement. For an instant, Leon could see the Momonga spirits cheering him on from the Graveyard. From the field, Chiron too seemed to nod, as if understanding.
Thanks guys.
Now let's win big and go home.
Leon drew.
This is…
The card he had drawn was completely unfamiliar. It was a Spell card, the art depicting Exodia battling a shadow creature, black and purple with glowing red eyes. His eyes widened as he read the text.
Fate of the Forbidden One…
His other half seemed different now. The anger and the posturing had seemed to disappear, along with the attitude and bloodlust. There seemed to be a sadness in its eyes. It seemed almost as repulsed by the dragon as Leon was At that point, it seemed far more similar to him then ever before.
"It's over, Leon." It said quietly, almost apologetically.
He raised his eyes to look at his opponent, grinning.
"I agree."
He slammed the card into his duel disk. His other half's eyebrows nearly shot off the top of his face.
(Leon: 218/???: 568)
"What did you draw?!"
Leon did not answer. Four cards shot out of his deck, pulsating with a golden light. They hovered in formation before him, waiting. They flipped around, revealing themselves to his other half. Its eyes opened wide, horrified.
"Right Leg, Left Leg, Right Arm, Left Arm…what the hell is this?!"
Leon shuffled his deck and slammed it back into his duel disk. He placed his hand on the top of his deck, preparing to draw.
"Fate of the Forbidden One forces a payment of half my Life Points to add the four limbs of Exodia into my hand."
"You're mad…" it hissed. But Leon could see the fear beginning to creep into its eyes.
We're all mad here, dear Alice.
"Next, we each draw one card from our deck."
His top card glowed gold. The four limbs seemed to resonate, to call to it. Leon allowed himself the briefest moment of triumph.
Not at the victory, though. Just at the fact that he'd survived it.
He picked the top card off his deck, examining the artwork of Exodia the Forbidden One in depth. He flashed it to his other half, a smile curling across his lips.
"I win."
His opponent did not react, merely drawing his card. Its eyes lit up in triumph.
"No."
One by one, it began to place cards onto its duel disk. Their images hovered before Leon, pulsating softly.
Right Arm of the Forbidden One.
Left Arm of the Forbidden One.
Leon felt like somebody had socked him in the gut.
Deep in his mind, his darkness stopped the timer. He smiled sadistically and reached for Taylor's deck. He skimmed through, selected five cards and tucked them away in his coat. He dropped the remainder over her still form.
He began to laugh at the irony of it all.
"You can't…"
Right Leg of the Forbidden One.
Left Leg of the Forbidden One.
It laughed hollowly.
"I got lucky."
It flashed the card it had just drawn.
Exodia the Forbidden One.
"Game over."
Leon nodded. "Well then…I guess it's done."
As if on cue, two pentagrams began to form, lines of light and power connecting the five limbs of the sealed gods, identical. Once the shapes were complete they seemed to form a gateway to the world beyond.
A gateway that was about to break.
Punishing, powerful blows seemed to rain down on the other side of the barriers, rocking them to their foundations, shaking them to the core.
His other half smiled sadly at him.
"Almost seems anticlimactic."
Leon shook his head. "Nah. Besides, we've put on a good enough show already."
The twin pentagrams began to buckle, giving way under the titanic blows of the two gods.
"Truth is…I was wrong, Leon. You didn't have to win to accept what you are. Truth is, you couldn't have won this, and neither could I."
The pentagrams cracked, the sealed gods beginning to break through.
"We're a part of each other. You'll never be whole if this continues."
An immense, golden arm thrust through the pentagram before Leon, dust and bricks flying everywhere. It glanced fearfully at the fearsome limb.
"Question is, can you accept me? Accept this?"
The two sealed gods screamed in unison, tearing free from their confinement. They were identical, golden energy radiated from their bodies like heat from a brilliant sun. Their chains shattered like links in a paper chain, ripping free with an embarrassing ease. They grinned horribly, omnipotent, confident beyond measure. Supreme. Black clouds smothered the roof of the theatre, crackling with power. Lightning flashed down, drawn to the hands of the twin Exodia. It raised a hand to the skies, and to his god.
"Or is this to be us, hmm? Two halves of the same soul, struggling for control? Forever?"
Leon did not respond. He gestured to his Exodia. With a roar that seemed to rock the skies and shake the heavens, his colossal beast charged. With a swift glance, his other half ordered his to attack as well. They thundered with the force of a hurricane, charging towards each other. His eyes flicked to his other half. A smile formed on its lips.
His. Leon thought. I was wrong about him. That's why he changed at the end. He was bloodthirsty and psychotic because that's what my resistance was doing to us both.
Now…he's just like me.
Simultaneously, the two cried out a command.
For of course, they were the same.
"Exodia, OBLITERATE!"
As the gods collided, Black Skull Dragon screamed in fear, eliminated with embarrassing ease. Each Exodia sought to do the impossible, each sought to kill, to prove once more that it was the most powerful force.
The two players nodded to each other.
There was no reason to fight any more. They understood each other.
Can you accept me?
Yes.
I think I can.
(Leon: 0/???: 0).
The theatre was consumed in a blazing explosion of light. The twin Exodia cards had destroyed each other, annihilating the playing field in a holocaust battle. The cackling demon effigies screamed and writhed in horror, burnt alive by the heat. Taylor's body vanished in an instant, along with the stage and the scarlet curtains. The roof was beginning to give way, wood and stone collapsing down on them. He closed his eyes to the golden flames of the battling gods, letting them wash him clean. It seemed that this was consuming the pain of a long, long time.
It was over.
Angel had seen it all from his position at the rear of the theatre. He narrowly dodged a blazing beam, swearing loudly as it almost set his coat aflame. He saw the nod that went between the two, and he knew it was finished. The job was done.
Time for me to say my goodbyes.
When Leon opened his eyes, the scene had changed.
He was standing on some sort of rocky platform, suspended high amid a sea of clouds. The air smelt fresh and clean, like the first breath after leaving prison. The bright sun glinted off the stones where he stood. Though Leon didn't know it, this was where his other half had fought Taylor.
"I didn't think you could do it."
Leon turned around. Angel was standing behind him, grinning, hands in his pockets. He looked oddly relaxed for once. His body was steadily becoming translucent, like a ghost. The sunlight was shining right through him.
"Well done."
Leon extended his hand to shake, but then pulled it back before he went right through Angel. He silently cursed his stupidity.
"Yeah, I'm dead. I died long before I met you. Though perhaps not in a physical sense."
He laughed cynically.
"My part is finished now. I played it well enough…for want of a better actor."
"What are you, Angel?"
"That's another story."
He was almost completely gone now. Leon looked at him, no longer flinching from his mutilated face.
"Goodbye, Angel. I'm glad…I'm glad I met you."
His scarred face twisted into a smile.
"So am I."
He disappeared, fading away like smoke in the breeze.
Even though he knew Angel wasn't real, it still hurt to see him go. He felt a tap on his shoulder.
"Looks like you did it, love."
Anima grinned at him. Leon bit down hard on his lip to keep from throwing up.
She was in a horrific state. Her black dress was dirty, torn, and sprayed with blood. An iron stake had been driven into her heart. Another one was impaled through her forehead, driving deep into her brains. She held up a hand.
"He beat me, love. He killed me. But you dealt with him, so it's alright."
She smiled coyly at him. Like Angel, she seemed to be fading away. Leon lowered his eyes from her face.
"Before you go…"
"I know what you want to ask me. You're wondering what I am, right?"
He simply nodded. She laughed.
"I am, to be correct about it, your inner desires given form. You know exactly what you really want. You want Taylor. You've wanted her for years; wanted to touch and be touched by her, wanted to hold her in your arms and kiss her…
"To love her…forever."
Something cold and frozen seemed to crack in Leon then; like someone had shattered his inner shield, the one he kept to keep people away from his heart, with one well-placed blow. His eyes remained dry, but his heart was crying.
"But she did not feel that for you, did she? So you repressed it. And because you were still refusing to give up on her, you repressed every dirty thought you ever had, whether it was about her or anybody else you liked. Every chance you ever had at a physical or emotional relationship…you smothered before it was born. In time, that gave rise to me…your sexual thoughts and desires given form. A being that's the total opposite of you sexually: confident, attractive, and not afraid to take what she wants. Why do you think I was so attracted to you?"
With that, she disappeared, the phantom fading away, leaving only a simple message behind.
"Bye, love."
A card had dropped to the floor. Leon picked it up, turning it over.
Persephone, Queen of the Underworld.
"Goodbye, Anima." He whispered.
The card disappeared, becoming no more then dust in the wind. Leon bowed his head.
"You shall find the truth, and the truth shall set you free."
The voice was his, and it was not. There was no hint of humour to it, nor a body to identify it. But Leon knew it was the real voice of his other half. Similar, and yet different, just as they were as people. The sarcastic edge was still there, but there was no hint of malevolence to it.
"Perhaps. Am I free now?"
His other half seemed to be amused by that. As free as anyone can be, I suppose. Don't tell me you don't feel better.
He did. He felt like some heavy weight in his chest had been lifted. His task was done.
"I do. I suppose I should thank you…"
It chuckled.
Don't.
They paused for a moment, allowing Leon to savour this sight. It was very peaceful here, a welcome change from the bloody chaos he had endured recently. It was nice to be able to rest.
So what happens now?
"I don't know. I'll apologise to Taylor, I guess…after that, I really don't know."
Yes, you do. You need to tell her how you really feel. Otherwise it's going to be on your head and your heart for the rest of your unhappy life, and I'd really rather not go through this again.
"Is that why this happened?"
I'm not exactly sure. You reached breaking point, and your subconscious decided on a rather unique way to help you resolve it. Although I confess, I was the one who put you in that coma.
Leon frowned. "Do I want to ask how?"
The voice laughed. No, you don't.
"What did you want, exactly?"
I didn't want anything. I exist only as a foil to help you resolve your crisis, a dark mirror of your less savoury aspects. I don't really exist. Most of what I said was to get you angry enough to let me take control, so you could duel me and get past all this.
"And am I?"
You tell me.
Leon knew the truth. He looked out, across the never-ending sea of clouds. There was an odd lightness in its chest.
"I am. I really, truly am."
There was sadness in his voice now.
I know.
A card materialised on the ground in front of him. He picked it up, examining it. His lips crinkled into a smile.
"How ironic."
Something to remember me by. Use it if you need me.
Leon laughed at that, a real, warm sound. He felt more free now then he had in a very long time. He put the card away in a pocket.
"Not that I'm not grateful…" He said, carefully "But why so chummy? We did just fight to the death, after all."
Only a fool continues a pointless fight.
"But what is it they say? No cause is lost while a fool continues to fight for it?"
He could sense, somehow, that his other half was grinning as well.
Then we're both fools, right?
Leaving that enigmatic statement behind in the air, the voice ceased. The platform he was standing on began to rise even higher in the air, rocketing towards the skies…
"Oh my God! Leon!"
He gasped for breath as somebody threw themselves on him, hugging him tightly.
"Taylor?" he choked out.
Realising what she was doing, she let go of him hurriedly. She brushed her long, red hair out of her eyes and looked at him.
"Sorry about that."
Leon grabbed the carpet with one hand. He was back in his house again. Looking outside, he noticed that it was pitch-black. Someone- probably Taylor- had put most of the lights off, with the exception of the desk lamp he used when fixing up his deck. He was on the floor, like he'd been knocked out.
Or in a coma.
He straightened up, his back against the settee. He felt very tired, like he'd just been in the middle of a fight.
Probably several fights. He reflected with a chuckle. He massaged his ribs gently.
"Leon, take it easy!"
"How…ouch. How long was I out?"
Taylor looked at him worriedly. Her eyes, one blue, one green, seemed to pierce through him.
"I'm not sure. I wanted to talk things over with you about what happened in the park, but when I got here the door was open and you were just lying on the floor! You haven't moved for hours!"
The park…? Oh, that's right. I got mad at that voice and yelled at her.
"I'm sorry about that. I've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately."
She looked kindly at him. "It's ok. Did you get through it?"
"Yeah, I did. I'm ok now. Where's my granddad?"
"He went to bed a while ago. We didn't dare to move you. He thinks I've gone home."
"Why didn't you?"
She looked at him, hesitantly. "I just…didn't want you to be alone. I thought maybe being here..."
He smiled at her. "It's ok."
She tilted her head slightly, looking at him. "You seem…different, somehow."
"Different?"
"Lighter. Like there's something that was weighing on you, and now its gone."
He laughed at that. "Well, that's one way of putting it."
"Hmm?"
"Never mind."
He hauled himself to his feet. Taylor put out an arm to steady him.
"You sure you're ok?"
He smiled apologetically at her. "Yeah. Just tired. You can go home now if you want."
She bit her lip, obviously not happy with the idea. "You sure?"
He held up a hand.
"Scout's honour. I'm fine, so go."
She grinned. "You were a Scout?"
"No, actually. I was antisocial even back then. Besides, uniforms aren't my thing." He admitted.
She laughed.
"Fine, I'm going."
She pulled him to his feet. He followed her to his front door, but stopped in the corridor. She reached for the door handle, but stopped.
"I'm glad you're ok, Leon. You don't know how scary it was to just walk in and find you lying like a statue on the floor…I thought you'd died at first."
She laughed emptily.
"Scared me to death."
Leon didn't say anything. She continued to talk, her back to him so he couldn't see her face.
"I really… care about you, you know."
Leon did not let his surprise show on his face.
"I care about you too, Taylor."
She glanced back at him. Ordinarily, Leon was not that good at reading people, but she was clearly asking him a question.
How much, Leon?
She reached for the door handle.
"Bye, Leon."
Something became shockingly clear to Leon then. He didn't know how he knew, or why. All he knew was that it was now or never.
And I'll be damned if it's never.
"Taylor, wait."
She glanced at him. And again the look seemed to ask a question.
This one, he had an answer to.
"I love you, Taylor." He said quietly.
She froze, her hand gripping the door handle tightly.
"I have done for…a long time, I guess," he confessed, still in little more then a whisper. "That's why I came to look for you when you went away. I tried to kid myself that I just wanted to see my friend again, but I was wrong. I just wanted to see you again. I just wanted to be with you, even though I knew you didn't feel that way about me. That's what I couldn't tell you when you came back. You'd been too afraid and hurt before to even consider it, and you were just getting back to a normal life again. I didn't want to ruin that."
The words were coming faster now, in a rush, as if he wanted to say everything before he lost his nerve.
"But without you, I just feel empty inside. I can't feel anything, not pain or love or happiness. I can't be happy anymore, without you. I don't want what I feel to get in the way of what we have right now, but it obviously isn't worth very much if I can't be honest with you."
He let his hands fall to his sides.
"I'm just…a wreck. I can't heal, can't get over this. For three years I carried this in my heart for you. I still do. And part of me doesn't want to get over it, because it's the only thing I've ever really known, these last few years."
She let go of the door handle. Leon looked at the floor.
"I love you, Taylor. I know I shouldn't. And I know I'm the biggest fool in the world. I know it would be better for us both if I moved on."
Leon paused, steeling himself for what he would say next.
"But I can't. You mean the world to me. The only thing that I really, really want right now… is to just be with you, for as long as I can.
He raised his head to look at her.
"I'm sorry, Taylor."
"Why?"
She turned around to face him. In that moment, Leon could see on her face what he'd always seen inside her. She was not- and never had been- exceedingly beautiful physically, and not just in comparison to her friends. Her mental scars and lack of comfort around people due to her agoraphobia had kept people away.
Most people.
Written on her face in that moment was the warmth and love she'd always kept hidden inside herself. People didn't talk to her much any more, most of them barely remembered who she was. So she didn't bother showing most people what was inside. But he'd known it was there, and it was only with him that she showed her true warmth- a feeling that took you in and held you until the cold seemed to melt away.
She stepped closer to him.
"You shouldn't be sorry for that. That feeling in your heart was the thing that brought me back, you know? When that happened to me, I…I lost myself. I didn't want to fight, I didn't want to heal. I just…wanted to be alone forever, where nobody could reach me. Nobody could hurt me.
"Not anymore."
"Taylor…" Leon whispered, sadly.
"But then you came. And you cared. More then that, you loved me. Even all the way back then, you loved me. Somebody loved me."
Leon raised his eyebrows.
"You knew?"
She laughed sadly.
"Of course I knew! Why else would you have done what you did? I had other friends besides you, but none of them came calling round my house to see if I was ok, did they?"
Leon didn't have an answer for that. She was right.
"You helped pull me out of that place. Even though you didn't do much…you did everything. All those duels, all that time you spent with me…knowing that somebody cared enough to do that for me…you probably saved my fucking life, you know that?"
"Yes." Leon said, softly.
She moved towards him slowly, until she was standing close.
"It took me a long time," she continued "but I figured out that something was wrong with you. But I couldn't help. I was too messed up still, too worried about myself. So much so that I couldn't even tell you how I really felt about you. I really care about you, Leon. You are so…so everything…and I could so…"
"But?"
Leon's eyes were hard, like he'd barricaded off the pain he knew was coming. Taylor's voice was unsteady as she spoke, like she was holding back tears.
"We're eighteen, Leon. How long would it last? Not long enough…it couldn't last long enough, could it? I want to be with you…I really, I really do. But I..
Now she was crying, silently. And Leon knew it wasn't just because she was trying to save his feelings. She really did want to be with him. But…
"Sooner or later I'd make a mistake. Sooner or later I'd screw up, and what then, Leon? The most important person in the world to me, my most important and brave friend, and one mistake and it's all over. Even if we were still friends…it wouldn't be the same. We'd have lost it."
She raised her eyes to look him in the face.
"I couldn't do that to you."
Leon realised his hands were shaking. Tears stung his eyes, but he pushed them back. The look she gave him left him breathless. Even through the tears, even through all the pain, all the prettier girls in the world- none of it mattered to him at that moment. His head and his heart fought a war inside him, and his head never stood a chance. He realised that he had always known exactly what he wanted.
He'd wanted her.
She stepped towards him. Without thinking about it he pulled her into his arms. Before either of them knew what they were doing, he was kissing her eagerly on the lips and she was kissing him back just as fiercely. Her arms wrapped gently around his neck as she pressed her lips to his. A feeling of elation flooded through him. It felt almost unreal to Leon, that the girl he had loved for so long could actually want him in return. He let his hands explore, wanting to touch every part of her, thrilled to hear her moan in pleasure as she leaned into him. Both of them knew that it couldn't be, both of them knew they weren't destined for the fairy-tale ending.
But that did not stop them from doing this.
This, their briefest moment of happiness.
True happiness.
When they finally broke apart, there remained a sadness between them. For what might have been, in another life.
They were both crying. Taylor made no attempt to leave.
"I'm sorry, Leon."
He would not remember his thoughts then later. He did not feel angry at her, or at anyone. He did not pay thought to what might have been. He just wanted to be with her, by her side as he had always been.
Now he was.
She let his hands wrap around her again, let him hold her close against his heart. She was crying quietly now. A lock of red hair brushed against his face.
"I'm sorry."
He didn't say anything. They stood there, holding each other silently. How long it lasted, he did not know. And once more, the last in a very long time, it spoke to him again.
Is this enough for you? To be this close to her and never to touch her? Never to feel her body against yours and her lips pressed against your mouth?
Leon closed his eyes, savouring her touch, the sensation of her hands. In his mind he recalled their dance, their wedding. Her body displayed on the cross. Her words. The feeling of her lips against his, as they finally admitted to each other how they felt.
Something inside him sealed.
A wound so painful, he'd never even realised it existed.
Yes.
Though neither of them saw it, the card his other half had given Leon began to glow, softly and silently.
He moved a hand to her hair, stroking it softly.
And it always will be.
November 2006 – July 2007.