Disclaimer – The characters of this fanfiction, as well as the 'Sons of Anarchy' world belong to Kurt Sutter, with the exception of Avi Liebermann, Nadia and Brad Cohen, who are original characters created by me. I make no profit from this work.

Reviews are welcomed! Thank you!

Finally Nadia, the badass, has what she wanted and it's fun, fun, fun, in a bad way of course.

A Dead End

Part 1

Living with Tig was like living with the devil. He had everything arranged in a certain order which could not be changed without serious consequences. They had a war about having a flower vase, then another about the proper place where it should sit and then another which ended in Tig smashing it up for the reason she failed to follow his strict instructions. To make things worse, Nadia was given some new duties which she loathed. They came in the form of a detailed schedule which was placed on the fridge door. Abating from the task meant hours of detention in the bedroom, without access to the toilet, that is. After only two weeks, Tig had the door replaced with a stronger one. Cleaning comprised of two steps: vacuuming the carpets twice a week and washing the kitchen and bathroom floors daily. On top of that was dusting, hovering, ironing, shopping and cooking. All his things had to be kept in the exact order and place where he left them, except for the dirty clothes which he nonchalantly threw all over the house. Tig never ate re-heated food, nor did he touch the same recipe twice in a row, so Nadia had to pretty much invent new dishes day after day. The man was an avid meat eater; therefore her favourite vegetarian dishes didn't enter the menu.

"I don't want to be a housewife, to stay home and clean and cook!" she was complaining.

"You can get a job after the baby is born," he was lying to her.

Afraid she might still get rid of it, Tig named Chuck as her personal assistant. The fellow lived and slept in their apartment, which she found creepy and troublesome. He didn't help much with anything, she sometimes found him in the way of things. "I ain't got no fingers, can't you see?" he was telling her.

Nadia felt so tired and nauseous some nights that she simply fell asleep before her man got home. Tig adored making love and caressing her pregnant body, but her fatigue sometimes got in the way of such plans. And Tig wasn't the man habituated with patience. He commenced frequenting his fuck buddies, whores who were way below Nadia's charm, but who could be made available much easier. This situation, although very much expected, filled Nadia's heart with cynicism and antipathy. It got too far when he brought a slut in. The poor sex worker barely got away alive and the scandal forced the neighbours to call the cops. In addition to this, Tig was now the one running the porn business for the Club. Not surprisingly, Nadia had plenty of issues with this state of affairs. It was Jax and his diplomacy that patched things up again.

Although he often felt like hitting her, Tig controlled his temper. He didn't want her hurt; as a matter of fact he hated men who did that to their old ladies. It was okay to bash a hooker, but it wasn't right to handle your own bitch in the same fashion. He still recalled Gemma's conflicts with Clay and shivered with resentment.

Chibs seemed to drop by a lot too. Since Bobby got heart problems and quit his VP position and Op wandered off again without claiming a place in the hierarchy, Jax had no choice but to work with what he's got, so he named Happy as the new Sergeant in Arms and repositioned Chibs as his VP. If the Scottish man was a bit of a father figure even before, his new spot turned him into a kind of grandpa. He had a good word for everyone and each time someone ran into trouble they could go and ask Chibs for advice. Juice almost worshiped him as a role model and Nadia turned him into her personal confident. And she wasn't the only one. Tig too, had plenty to complain about:

"Is hard, man," he told the VP. "She's one crazy bitch. We're like a rocking boat. I go one way, she goes the other. She started to bend a little, she's not so bold anymore, but is hard to teach her who's her daddy."

Yet Tig never underestimated Nadia's ability to play the game. He knew she'd come up with ways to keep him interested in her, sometimes very sick and twisted ways, but that's why he loved her. Only she could turn into the dirtiest of whores, when just previously she seemed like such a warrior and a virtuous woman.

For example, the night when the Club partied and most men got themselves pleased by a prostitute. To Tig's amusement, Nadia walked in wearing a tight dress with cut out back, revealing her beautiful tattoo and those sculpted muscles. She was an instant attraction, but none of the chaps dared to make a move, they all knew Tig could turn deadly for less than that. Nadia got herself a whore too, while watching him getting a blow job across the room. The petite blonde slut she picked plaid with her excitable nipples for a while, until his insistent guise suggested Nadia he craved to have sex with her rather than that trash hanging by his dick. Gently, she moved through the crowd, glancing at him with lustful eyes. With a firm hand she grabbed the slut's hair and began pushing her head back and forth as if she were a sex doll. Nadia loved punishing and controlling both the poor girl and her crazy lover, she felt dizzy with sadistic pleasure just hearing her gag and watching him quiver. What she loved about it most was the fact that he never stopped her; he secretly enjoyed this kind of power she exerted upon him; he wanted her to be a dominant, cruel bitch even if he claimed submission from her part.

"I love you," he whispered licking her ears.

"Keep your hands behind you!" she ordered him in a kind of heartless ecstasy.

Nadia pushed the loose woman aside, kicking her in the stomach, just to humble her further. She then jerked him off dry against her pantyhose while he repeated mindlessly:

"You're so beautiful!"

Part 2

Nadia was looking at the body of the young woman and couldn't believe how much she resembled her.

"A Jane Doe, Latina," said Jax, zipping it back up.

"So sad… it could have been me," answered Tig's old lady, stroking the corpse.

"It is you," replies Jax throwing in some bags of ice.

"Where did you find it?" she questions.

"Safe source, I've been careful."

She wasn't sure about that, but she had to work with whatever she had available.

Nadia was desperate to leave. Day by day she grew more impatient; sensing him drifting further and further away, less interested. Even Chucky seemed to have lost his sharpness; he stopped following her around like a skinny hound. Despite this, Tig continued to be demanding and that stressed her uselessly, yet that was his sick pleasure, he found solace in the thought that she found him threatening. But Nadia wasn't the kind of woman who finds it romantic being told what to do and she saw no future with Tig, she never did. However the very fact that she ended up caught up in this charade, stunned her. She never wanted to end up with any of them bikers; their world was something she loathed from the racist tendencies to the stuck up misogynistic rules of their gatherings, to the gossip and backstabbing gracefully executed by their old ladies, it all seemed poisoned not only by crime, but also by a form of immaturity and this was something she couldn't surely tolerate. In relation to them she felt alien, withdrawn and complicated. Contrary to everyone's believes, including Tara's whom Nadia regarded as one of the smartest bitches she lay eyes on, the former soldier-spy-criminal chose to live with Tig for a while, not because she craved for his talents in bed, or because she was so madly in love she could take anything he threw at her. She was perfectly aware that having a baby at that point was inappropriate and damaging for both herself and the unborn and she saw no way on earth that baby once born would have had the kind of life she wished for any child: a safe, loving, healthy environment. Perfectly aware of Tig daughter's story her fears confirmed. Growing up there would certainly turn you into a felon or at best, it'd scar you forever. That was what Opie discovered as well, that's why he left.

However, Nadia couldn't conceive easily. She reached to this conclusion after trials and specialized investigations, therefore getting pregnant even in such troublesome circumstances deserved all the respect attributed to a miracle and she thought long and hard upon making her mind one way or another. Being a strange and slightly fatalist creature, she made a bargain with herself that if nothing prevented her from having an abortion, then she'd toss this skeleton in the basket together with the other bad memories of her life. But something did happen and when it did, she was happy about it, she took it as a sign from God, even though at first, the months to come terrified her, particularly the confined proximity to the baby's father. It's normally strong people who doubt their own strength until they smile in the face of death without deterrence.

As for being afraid of hurting someone's feelings and the moral issue of "the truth" and how much one or another deserved to know it, Nadia cut it sharply for Jax:

"All truth is circumstantial."

Jax smirked thinking this was a thing his mother would like to say.

Of all the ones she met there, Nadia only trusted Jax, since she recognized in him the same character traits she found in her beloved Takezo. She knew he'd never toy with her as long as she remained fair. She knew he'd never rat about her either.

If the relationship with Tig did something good, that was helping her crystalize her ideas and perhaps coming to grasps with the origin of her constant mistakes when it came to men. She hoped that tricking Tig would equal tricking all the others, including Avi. She needed to play the game for a little longer, just a little longer. It took patience and skill as with any escape from any prison. The grand plan involved "dying" not only to the Club, but also to her other family, whom she resented just as much.

Nadia had hopes. And when Tig came back that night she knew she had to move quickly.

"Your brother is dead," he told her shortly.

"Who did it?"

"It looks like the Russians. I'm sorry."

Follow up the conclusion of the serries in A Silent Dawn