I don't own Alice in Wonderland

"Shit!"

The curse tore from my throat, voice cracking sharply as my back made hard and jarring contact with the ground for only the thousandth time that day. Quinn stood above me, grinning and waving a wooden sword triumphantly. My own fake weapon had been knocked from my hands and was lying a ways away. His grin stretched a bit wider and he offered a clawed hand to help me up.

"Come on, iPrincess/i, I'm not even that good with a sword."

I glared, trying my best to seem threatening from my sprawled out position on the ground. "That's a dirty lie, cat, and we both know it."

"Care for another go?" he asked, aggravating grin never faltering. "I promise I'll go easy on you."

I growled and struggled to my feet on my own. "Don't you dare." I retrieved my wooden sword and pointed the tip at his chest like Sven had showed me. I jabbed at Quinn's ribs and he deflected the blow easily with a light chuckle. Anger surged through me at his mocking laughter. The annoying beast feinted to the right and thwacked my left side as quick as a viper while I was busy defending the right. I nearly lost my grip on my weapon as pain spiked from the hit.

iDamn it, that's going to bruise…/i I thought as my side throbbed unpleasantly. With a grimace, I managed to keep the oaken blade aloft, and, with a sudden surge of anger fueled strength, I struck out at his shoulder mercilessly and for the fist time that day, my little pretend weapon struck home. Quinn winced and stumbled back, dumbfounded. He had dropped his sword and it was then my turn to grin like the cat who ate the canary. He looked at me in surprise and he smiled slightly.

"Nice hit, Princess. I have been slain!" He fell back with a dramatic swooning motion. He collapsed in the grass beside the bag we had brought. He opened it and retrieved one of the lunches that Etta and Amory had given us. I sat next to him, feeling a good deal happier than I had previously. I pulled out a lunch as well and set to unwrapping it. Inside were foods I had never seen before. Strange, giant red fruits that faded to purple the closer you got to the bottom of it with gold leaves sticking out of the top. There was also what seemed to be some sort of fish with rainbow colored flesh. The most normal thing I could find in our little picnic basket was a fluffy loaf of bread. I glanced over at Quinn to see if there was a proper way to eat any of this. He just smirked at me and took a piece of the bread.

Suddenly, a small winged thing fluttered out of the basket and flitted around Quinn's head. He hissed and swatted at it. He picked up a small silver bread knife and swiped the thing out of the air. Then, without a second thought, he spread it over his piece of bread. I looked at him with a mixture of disgust and confusion and he simply smirked at me. "Butter-flies." He stated, as if that explained it all.

I rolled my eyes, slowly getting used to Quinn's special brand of bullshit. If I allowed myself to think of it as such, it was nearly endearing. Quinn wasn't so bad at all and he was definitely fun to be around and-

NO.

There was no way in hell I was going to get close to him. He may not be so bad, but…there was just something about him that I didn't trust, as much as I'd like to. I hoped that someday soon, I'd be able to trust him the way I wanted him to trust me.

Quinn's nose twitched and he sneezed as a leaf fell on his nose from the tree above us. A couple of giggles were heard from the tree and a soft 'shh'. Quinn and I looked up in a nearly synchronized motion. Above us, hidden among the branches, sat Dee, Dum, and a very distressed-looking Charles.

He began panicking almost instantly. "A-Alice! I-I was just-! Th-th-they m-made me come a-along a-a-and I just wanted t-to…!"

My look of shock shifted to a small smile. "No worries, really. You just scared me a little. Come on down, maybe one of you can teach me how to eat this stuff."

Dee giggled and jumped down from the tree, his twin following afterwards. Charles tumbled down after them gracelessly and landed on his back, hard. I bit my lip and offered him a helping hand. He took it with a grateful smile and I pulled him into a sitting position. He fixed his askew glasses and pulled out his notebook to see if it was okay. Satisfied that it was in no danger, he put it away and inspected the lunches that had been packed for us. There was food for at least ten people, I had no idea who they had expected would eat all that.

My questions were soon answered as Quinn reached in and pulled out a second rainbow-colored fish along with a box of long, tube-shaped, purple chip-like things. He offered one to me and I smiled nervously and shook my head.

"Oh, come on, Princess, it isn't gonna kill ya!" He leaned in and tapped the tube to my closed lips.

I frowned and swatted his hand away. "Alright, alright." I took it and took a small bite off the end. It was salty and sweet at the same time and almost had the consistency of a French fry, but not quite. There was certainly nothing like it where I was from, even though, in New York, you could find just about any kind of food.

I smiled at Quinn slightly. "That…That's really good. What is it?"

"They're called Flamingo Legs," He replied calmly. "But don't worry! They're actually made from a plant, I swear!" He added quickly when he saw my look of horror.

I calmed down considerably and picked up one of the strange red fruits. I had expected them to be squishy, like a tomato, but really it felt more like an apple. Dee and Dum watched me, waiting for me to take a bite, obviously anxious about my reaction. I raised an eyebrow. "Are these any good? " I asked them.

Dum smiled. "Bleeding Hearts. They're our favorite."

Dee nodded in agreement and took one out for him, handing it to his brother. "Go ahead, Miss. Just make sure to eat them quickly."

I looked at them nervously, gaze switching back and forth. "Erm…Okay." I held the fruit to my lips and sank my teeth into its shiny surface.

Once I did so, a sour taste filled my mouth. I didn't mind at all, sour is one of my favorite tastes. It faded slowly into a pleasantly sweet taste, like strawberries in sugar. I looked down and realized that as soon as my teeth had broken the surface, a smooth jelly-like substance had oozed out. The insides were liquid. I smiled. "This is great! I wish they had food like this…up there." I pointed up awkwardly.

Identical smiles spread over the faces of the young twins. "You like food then, Miss?" Dum asked curiously.

"Ever eaten an oyster?" asked Dee.

"We'll tell you a little story about them, if you like!" Dum added.

I saw Quinn roll his eyes. "Oh, god, here we go again."

"Eh-hem." Dum cleared his throat and stood up. He walked in front of us, as though he were about to perform onstage. Charles, who had previously been scribbling in his book about the food, looked up and poised his pencil, ready to take notes on the story, no doubt. "This is story is called…"

Pause for dramatic affect.

"The Walrus and the Carpenter!"

Dee stood up suddenly and pushed his brother aside, standing in his place. "Or! The Story of the Curious Oysters!"

Dum stood up from where he had fallen, dusting himself off, disgruntled.

"The sun was shining on the sea,

Shining with all his might:

He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright-
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night."

With this, he gestured upwards to the sun hanging in the pale lavender sky. Dee scowled and grabbed his brother's arm, pulling him aside.

"The moon was shining sulkily,
Because he thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done-
"It's very rude of him," he said,
"To come and spoil the fun!""

The reply was stated rudely, as if directed at Dum directly. Dee crossed his arms angrily and Dum stuck his tongue out at him.

Dum propped his hands on his hips. "Stop it, I want to tell them the story!"

The other twin shook his head vigorously. "I don't think so! It's my story to tell, dammit!"

Dum glared. "We heard it together! And I'm older by one whole minute! So I get to tell it!"

"Fine then, you twat." Dee glared. "We'll both tell the story."

Quinn chuckled softly and leaned over to whisper in my ear. "That's the best compromise they've ever made."

They cleared their throats simultaneously and each pulled half of a box from their pockets. They fitted the silver halves together and set them on the ground. It opened and a miniature moon and sun floated out and took their places, suspended in the air above the little stage that was now assembling itself. It appeared to be a beach and on it, two odd little men were ambling along.

No, scratch that. One man and one walrus in a business suit.

The twins began speaking simultaneously, voices clear and ringing with an odd harmony.

"The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead-
There were no birds to fly."

Blue, paper waves began to lap at the sandy shore of the stage. Crashing noises echoed from the miniature beach as the 'waves' hit the sand and rocks. The strange little figures halted and appeared to look around at the sand in despair.

"The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it would be grand!""

Dum spoke on his own next, in a deep, grumbling voice. "If seven maids with seven mops swept it for half a year, do you suppose,"

Dee interrupted quickly, "The Walrus said."

Dum continued, speaking in time with the little paper Walrus' talking motions. "That they could get it clear?"

"I doubt it," Dee replied in a timid, lisping voice.

Dum picked up the rhythm of the poem flawlessly and finished the stanza with,

"Said the Carpenter, and shed a bitter tear."

On the tiny stage, the walrus and the carpenter ambled over to the shoreline. The Walrus descended into the water and the scene changed. A backdrop of underwater fell down over that of the beach. Little fish began swimming through the air in the background. An eerie blue light radiated from the stage, tinting everything around it the color of deep water.

The twins looked at each other and then at the stage. Dum opened his mouth and his Walrus voice called out.

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"

"The Walrus did beseech." Dee interjected.

Dum gave him an irritated look and continued;

"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each."

Twenty or so tiny shells sat on the ocean's floor and each one opened up slowly to reveal little oysters with large, innocent eyes and bows sitting atop their heads. The twins once again began talking in unison.

"The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head-
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed."

Just as they said, the largest oyster shook his head, suspicious of the Walrus, and slammed the top of his shell down like a door.

"But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat-
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet."

Four little oysters ran up to the walrus, all smiling, happy and curious things. I felt myself smile slightly, chuckling at the last line of the stanza. I barely noticed the tears in the eldest oyster's eyes as he peeked out to watch the young ones leave.

"Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more-
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore."

Identical grins spread across the twin's faces as all the little oysters followed the Walrus up to the shore. The scene changed back once again. The caravan came to and stopped at a rock.

"The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row."

"The time has come," Dum stated authoritatively.

"The Walrus said,"

Dum grinned at his brother, no longer upset by the interruptions, it seemed. "To talk of many things:
Of shoes-and ships-and sealing-wax-
Of cabbages-and kings-
And why the sea is boiling hot-
And whether pigs have wings."

They spoke in unison once again, giving each other an anticipating glance.

""But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"

"No hurry!" Dum exclaimed

"Said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that." Dee finished.

"A loaf of bread,"

"the Walrus said,"

A table dropped down onto the set from God only knows where, complete with a basket of bread.

"Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed—"

Dum grinned darkly and the lighting became a foreboding shade of gray. The little paper Walrus grew a huge horrid smile, tusks glinting sharply and dangerously.

"Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed.""

They're voices began to ring out with a twisted echo as they forged on in the poem.

""But not on us!" the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
"After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!""

The light suddenly burst into a bloody red color and faded to black. When the lights came up, the Walrus and the Carpenter were sitting at the table and there were splatters of searing red liquid splashed all around the stage.

"The night is fine,"

"the Walrus said."

"Do you admire the view?"

Dum paused for dramatics before carrying on in his deep grumbling voice. ""It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!"

The Carpenter said nothing but"

Dee grinned and adopted his lisp once again. "Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf-
I've had to ask you twice!"

"It seems a shame,"

"the Walrus said,"

""To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!" The Carpenter said nothing but"

"The butter's spread too thick!"

"I weep for you,"

"the Walrus said:"

""I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes."

The tiny Walrus dabbed at his eyes.

"O Oysters,"

"said the Carpenter,"

"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'

They grinned and gestured to the stage as a cluster of empty, bloody shells fell onto the table from above.

"But answer came there none-
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one."

The lights shut off and the stage deconstructed back into a small silver box. Each brother took a half and put it away in their pockets. They both bowed theatrical, sweeping bows and smiled up at us. "The end!" They chorused.

I blinked in shock at what I had just witnessed. I hesitated before I began to clap. Charles looked up from his notebook, the scribbling sound of his pen on paper halting suddenly. He, too, clapped nervously. Quinn rolled his eyes and ruffled the twins' hair.

"Are you two going to tell that story to every new person you meet?"

The two pouted simultaneously.

"You don't get it, Cat." Dee stated dismissively.

"It has a good moral, doesn't it?" Dum asked, irritably.

Charles blinked and fixed his glasses as they slipped down his nose. "And what's that?"

"You are most vulnerable out of your element!" Dee nodded, as if agreeing with himself.

Dum frowned. "No, no, no! It's never follow Walruses!"

Dee stared at him for a minute, a disappointed, deadpan expression plastered on his face. "Never follow Walruses? Really?"

Dum shrugged.

They suddenly seemed to come to a mutual understanding. They turned to face me with their signature grins.

"The moral of the story is, though you may think someone is a friend, never trust them. You never know whose belly you may wind up in."

AN: HER YOU GO! I REALLY LIKE THAT STORY! LOVE IT!

you should love it and you should love me.