HEY GUYS! :D Sorry the last chapter was a little boring, I hope this one makes up for it. I would also like to apologize for taking a bit to update. I was kind of busy over the weekend, what with work and MEETING JAMES MASLOW. Yup, that's right. I met James. ANYWHO, this chapter is kind of long and emotional. I wanted to touch on Logan's feelings and I also got some inspiration from Kate Nash's song "We Get On". Also, we meet someone familiar in this chapter!

I'd like to thank everyone for reading and reviewing. It really does mean a lot to come on and read all the love! I hope that I haven't disappointed yet. It would mean a lot if you kept on reading, reviewing, and if you shared it with your friends. Once again, thank you so much.

Also, I obviously do not own Big Time Rush or anything in this story. Enjoy!

"Kiiiiiiiindle, Jo is here to pick you up!" Logan screamed from the front door of his apartment. Jo finally found a way to leave her school project group, 3 hours later. The plan was that Jo would come and pick Kendall up, they'd go to her place and get ready for some party tonight, and Logan would just meet them at the party. Logan didn't necessarily like this idea, seeing as he had so much fun just hanging with Kendall and needless to say he wasn't much of a partier. He didn't smoke, he didn't drink, he didn't do drugs. But Jo promised it'd be a good time.

"She's here already?" the blonde boy asked, making his way to the door.

"Yes, she is. And she's so glad to know you're so enthusiastic about it." Jo said rolling her eyes, but she couldn't hide the huge smile on her face.

"Well then Logie, looks like I'll be seeing you tonight." Kendall said as he hugged the shorter boy. Damn, he smelt good Logan thought to himself and sighed.

"Fine, I see how it is. Whatever." the brunette said with a wink. "I'll meet up with y'all later."

"Byeeeeeeeeeeee!" Jo said, blowing a kiss as she walked away, starting to talk to Kendall about how boring and horrendous her time with the group was.

Logan closed the door and looked around his apartment. It was a complete mess. While him and Kendall waited for Jo, they watched TV and then a game commercial came on and Kendall claimed that he could kick Logan's ass at any game period. So they started to play Xbox and that got pretty intense. Tons of pushing and nudging, spilling sodas and throwing chips, popcorn, and the occasional baby carrot or shoe. In the end Kendall did wind up winning, lucky bastard. Logan laughed to himself thinking back to it while he started to clean up.

Logan looked a up at the clock on his wall, it had been almost an hour and a half since he started cleaning. Shit. But he had to admit, he did like cleaning. It was relaxing in a way. He also thought a lot while he cleaned. Mostly about Kendall. He couldn't understand how he felt about the boy. He was fun, sweet, attractive, and just great to have in one's company. But Logan had just met the guy, there was no way there were any feelings there. So he was a little confused. What he did know was that he needed to get dressed, and fast. The party started in an hour and it took him a while to do his hair.

"What the hell am I suppose to wear?" he asked himself, looking into his closet. He didn't want to get too dressed up, but he wanted to look good enough. Enough to impress Kendall. He shook his head and laughed a little, "You are too ridiculous, Logan." He grabbed a denim, form fitting button up, black skinny jeans and some white shoes. He was pleased with what he picked out as he made his way to the bathroom.

Logan felt his phone vibrate and light up. "LOGAIN, where the hell are yoooou?" he read. He laughed as he replied back to Kendall, "My name is Logan and I'm almost there. Promise." Sent. The truth was, he was right down the street, had been there for 15 minutes now. Just sitting in his car. He had no clue why he was there, he wasn't a party boy. He didn't belong there. But he did know why he was there. Kendall. He sighed as he talked himself out of starting his car up and leaving. He looked in his rear view mirror, making sure his hair looked good. "Better now than never", he said getting out of his car. Making sure it locked behind him.

He made his way to the house and knocked, Jo answering the door. "LOGAN! MY LOVE!" she screamed engulfing him in a hug. "LOGAIN!" in came another body into the hug. Logan laughed as he freed himself from his friends.

"I hope I'm not late."

"Of course not! The party hasn't gotten completely underway yet." Jo replied, a beer in her hand. "I know this is a stupid question, but do you want one?" she said pointing at her drink.

"Why is that a dumb question?" Kendall asked, cocking his head to the side, looking confused.

"Because Logan is a good boy and doesn't do any of this bad stuff. I'm surprised he's even here to be honest!"

"HUSH! I'm not that good of a boy, I do bad things. But no thank you, I think I'll go find a soda." Logan shot back, rolling his eyes.

"I'll go with you!" Kendall offered and Logan smiled.

"Fine by me."

They started to make their way to the kitchen, Kendall leading the way. The shorter boy looking around at all the unfamiliar faces they passed. He wondered if they even knew each other or was just as new as he was. He shrugged to himself.

"Here we are. Coke?" Kendall asked, actually looking at Logan for the first time since he got there. "Wow, I have got to say, you clean up real well, Logie."

Logan blushed and hoped Kendall didn't notice. "A Coke would be just fine." he said with a smile. "And you don't look half bad yourself."

"Oh hush, you're just saying that!" the blonde joked and handed the soda to Logan.

"Oh Kendall, Keeeeeendall babe, where are you?" Jo's voice could be heard before she even entered the kitchen.

Babe? Was Logan missing something here? He shook his head, Jo calls everyone babe or baby or dear. So he thought nothing of it.

"Yes ma'am?"

"There you are! Come dance with me!" she asked, grabbing his hand and leading him out of the room. He looked back at Logan and shrugged.

Awkwardly just standing there, Logan had no idea what to do, where to go. He took a sip of his soda and looked up as a boy walked up to him.

"Hey there, you look new to the house!" the short Mexican boy said chipperly. "Oh, sorry, I'm Carlos," he introduced himself as he saw the confused look on Logan's face.

"Hi, I'm Logan," he said with a small smile.

"So is this your first time out here?"

"Yeah. My first time at a party ever, really." Logan felt a little embarrassed.

"Really? Well, no big deal really. It isn't for everyone." the little Latino said with a smile.

They talked for a good 15, 20 minutes and got to know each other a little. Logan found out Carlos wanted to be so many things in life, liked to dance but was way too clumsy, and he wasn't exactly the brightest person here. But Logan really liked this kid, he was pretty cool. They talked for a few more minutes and exchanged numbers before Logan excused himself. He needed to go outside and get some fresh air. The house was getting more crowded and started to smell like weed, alcohol and sweat.

When outside, Logan inhaled deeply and let it out slowly, sighing with relief. The night was crisp and a tad chilly, being kind of nice for a November night. He looked at his phone and saw it was almost 1 in the morning. No texts. He wondered where Kendall and Jo wandered off too and decided it was time to head back in. Making his way through the crowd of people, Logan went from room to room to room until finally he stumbled upon his two friends. Making out. Kendall's arm around Jo, pulling her in closer. Logan's breath caught in his throat. He just stood there staring. Unable to say anything. Unable to move. Finally he started to feel life come back to his legs and he turned around, trying to make his way out of the room as fast as he could.

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't feel anything. He hardly even noticed when he pushed his new little friend out of his way trying to reach the front door. He made it. He was free. As soon as his foot stepped out the door, he took off running down the street. He just needed to get to his car. He needed to just get away. Away from this house, away from his friends, away from everything. When he reached his car he fumbled with his keys and finally unlocked it, slamming the door behind him and starting the ignition. He took off as fast as he could, he had yet to let his mind start processing what just happened.

Almost two hours had passed and he was still driving, his hands gripped tightly around the steering wheel. He had finally reached his destination. As soon as he parked he threw open the door and just started running. No cares of turning the car off, no worries of closing the door. He ran and ran, sand starting to stick to the fresh tears that started to run down his cheeks. By the time his body hit the water, his tears were falling like a waterfall. But still he kept running. Right before he went under he let out the loudest scream he had ever heard himself utter. Logan wasn't much of a crier so him shaking so hard under the water scared him. He had no clue why he felt this way. He had no reason to feel this way. Kendall wasn't his. Kendall didn't even like guys. Fuck, he had just met Kendall! There was no reason he should be getting on this way. As he just floated there, his tears morphing with the ocean, he realized everything was fine. Maybe not perfect, and he might be broken, but everything was fine. And they would stay fine.

He walked out of the freezing ocean, thinking that everything was fine and nothing hurt. He didn't even care that he had lost his shoes, he didn't care that his car seat was now soaked with salty water. He looked at his phone, Kendall had text him 7 times while he was in the water.

"Sorry I disappeared, I just had to go. Something came up, but I'll make it up to you. Oh, and I'm happy to hear about you and Jo. You two are perfect for each other." he sent to his friend. Even though he knew the last thing he said was a lie, he would never admit it to himself. Throwing his phone onto the backseat, he took off down the highway as fast as he could. Leaving his heart far behind in the cold, black ocean.