A/N: Ok, here's Tony! Enjoy!
TONY STARK: UNIT USER GUIDE AND MANUAL
CONGRATULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of a TONY STARK unit! The following are basic things to know and tips on how to use this unit to its fullest extent!
Technical specifications:
Name: Tony, Anthony, Mr. Stark, Ironman(will respond rather heroically towards this)
Age: About 40... ish...(tip. Do NOT call him middle-aged to his face. He will attack you.)
Weight: With or without the suit?
Height: 6'1"
Place of manufacture: Long Island, New York
Length: He's a famous playboy.
This unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) Dress suit
One (1) Ironman suit
One (1) JARVIS AI
One (1) Extremely expensive sportscar
One (1) Spare arc reactor(you never know when the one in his chest could get busted or stolen)
Programming:
Daredevil: This unit's attitude and personality make him willing to try nearly anything crazy and/or stupid.
Inventor: This unit's imagination and brain can and will create anything. Most of the time the things it creates tend to be dangerous, you have been warned.
Playboy: This unit's reputation will bring customers. Try this and you will have plenty of cash after a couple days.
Bodyguard: This unit is the ultimate bodyguard, thanks in no small part to the Ironman suit. If you need a serious bodyguard, this unit is ideal for the job.
Removal from packaging: This unit is not extremely dangerous without his Ironman suit(shipped in a separate box) so he won't do too much damage if you wake him up incorrectly.
1. Open the box and reprogram him directly.
2. Knock on the box and offer him an alcoholic drink. He will gladly accept the drink and allow you to reprogram him.
3. If you have a deathwish bang on the box and shout," Fury has confiscated all your suits and JARVIS!" once you open the box and he realizes you were lying he will react in one of two ways, trying to rip your throat out or planning your doom and loving every minute of it.
4. Activate the included JARVIS AI that is included and he will instruct your unit how to get out of the box then your unit will treat you as a friend. You will be able to reprogram him as soon as he turns his back. No worries!
Reprogramming: This unit has a wide range of personalities. Beware!
Snarky(default)
Philanthropist(default)
Playboy(default)
Brother
Romantic
Depressed(locked)
Insane(locked)
This unit's default modes make him very entertaining to be around and fun to work with. While in these modes he will have a tendency to bring home random women. You have been warned.
Brother mode, like in other units, is activated when he sees you depressed, crying, or upset. He will comfort you briefly, find who caused your emotional pain, kick their butt, then return to default modes automatically.
Romantic mode is activated when you actually show romantic interest in him or dress provocatively. In this mode he lives up to his reputation as a playboy then if he gets bored he will return to his default modes. If not he will stay in this mode.
Depressed mode can be activated by reminding him of his horrible family life. He will make rude comebacks to everything you say to him. It's best you just let him get over it and return to default by himself.
Insane mode can be activated by not giving him anything to do for a week then having an extremely bored TONY STARK unit for another two weeks. In this mode he will run around like a maniac, trying to kill, destroy, or dismantle everything he sees. The best way to fix this is to have either a Bruce Banner or Steve Rogers unit talk some sense into him and/or beat his brains out.
Relationships with other units: Since this unit has a tendency to tick off all other units most relationships are friends at best.
Cleaning: This unit is perfectly capable of cleaning himself but may offer an invitation to bathe with him. If you are interested in him like that, we highly recommend accepting. If not, refuse politely.
Feeding: This unit will eat anything that runs through his head. If he wants to try it, let him. If not, leave him be.
Rest: This unit seems to sleep only every once in a while and run entirely on coffee and energy drinks.
Frequently asked questions:
Q. My unit is constantly trolling me in very creative ways. Is this normal?
A. You did order a TONY STARK unit. Yes, this is perfectly normal. He's more than likely bored. Buy him some scrap metal and a blowtorch. He'll be fine for a few days with that.
Q. My unit is flirting with everything that breathes. How can I stop this?
A. Well it depends entirely on why he's doing this. If he's doing it to get your attention then you should act like you don't care. Even if you do. If he's doing this just to drive you crazy then there is no way to stop this.
Troubleshooting:
Problem: My unit is melting down all of my jewelry and making weapons. WHAT DO I DO?
Solution: First, take away whatever he's using to melt your jewelry. Second, hide all the valuable jewelry you own in a place he will never find it. Thirdly, sell all the stuff he made either to the Army or to weapons collectors.
Problem: I received a teenaged Tony not the fully grown model. He's constantly taking apart my car and trying to build a hotrod!
Solution: Oops! Send him right back if you don't want him, and we will send you a fully grown TONY STARK unit.
We hope you and your unit will get along wonderfully! Please look forward to the newest Avengers models! Coming soon: Clint "Hawkeye" Barton!