Lordy, lordy... haven't updated in a while, right? Well, I finally got some motivation to finish this chappy and here it is! Have fun .

Chapter 8: Nothing More Than Usual

I took time to ponder what happened that day, and every day after that. Let me put it this way: I never knew my shadow was so lively. The shadow being Mello. Not that he was constantly at my heels, but he was there a lot. He always ended up where I was. As if he were trying to be there on purpose. I open the door and he happens to be passing by. I'm in the common room and he comes in to get something. I'm studying in the library and so he is too. Though, I'm not trying to imply he's interested in me; just it's so uncanny that it's nearly every time. Even if when I try to talk to him, I'm ignored.

"Does it annoy you?"

I looked at Matt's question hanging in the air like a speck of dust.

Annoy. To disturb or bother a person in a way that displeases, troubles, or slightly irritates..."No." I think.

"Okay, does it make you uncomfortable?"

Uncomfortable. In a state of discomfort; uneasy; conscious of stress or strain."I'm not sure."

Matt shook his head, "Maybe you're just trying to avoid admitting it..."

"Admitting what?"

"That, Mello is getting to you. It funny though, I never took you for someone who had pride..."

"I don't. I don't have any problems with admitting defeat. I have no pride." What is wrong with me? Must I train myself to not let my consciousness slip out of my very own mouth?

Matt didn't seem to catch that probably inhuman saying though, forging onwards. "Okay. Whether uncomfortable or not, you are right. This is different from his usual "search and destroy" method."

What an eloquent way to put it."Why is it that way?"

Matt pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows. "Why? How would I know?"

"You don't know then?"

Matt leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. We were the only ones in the hallway.

"Did you ever think of asking Mello?"

"I can't. He doesn't like questions. That has been made apparent."

"Well, he's the only one who would know. You've got to get over your fears sometime-"

"I'm not scared. How could I be scared?" Tell me. I really, truly, want to know. How can I be scared?

Matt shrugged. "Well, you're only human. Humans get scared sometimes."

"I'm human?" He said it. Something I've always asked myself. Am I human? Can I be human?

Matt laughed, "What? Of course you're human, what else would you be? I admit that you sometimes come off as a little robotic, but you're still human."

"I don't know what I am." The floor suddenly became very interesting, and I put my head down. The polished gleam was long gone. It was all worn. What once was brown was now scratched and grey looking.

"Near, you sure say some fascinating things. I don't know what's made you doubt your humanity, but you are a bona fide human boy. Got all the right parts as far as I've seen."

"But, I can't feel." That wasn't meant to come out. There I go again saying things I don't want to say...

Matt laughed again, "You say the most alien things sometimes! If you couldn't feel, you'd technically be a psychopath, right? You have feelings. I know it."

"How?" Tell me how I'm human. I want to know. I need to know.

"How? Well, if you really didn't have feelings, would that matter to you then? There's your proof right there."

Really? It couldn't have been that simple.

"Besides all that weird stuff about you being human, why don't you just go and ask him? He's gotten over that question stuff, so it should be safe."

"How do you know?"

Matt shifted his weight back to an even distribution. "I talked to him. He's over it."

"But you don't know why he's been around so often?"

"Ah, nope. Didn't come up."

"So the only way I can..."

"Is to ask him yourself."

"Can't you?"

Matt crossed his arms, "Not really. I have things to do today."

"No worries. I can wait."

"No, I don't think you can. I'll help you on your way."

I was grabbed by the elbow, and vigorously dragged through the halls. I don't understand this enthusiasm. Did it matter if it were me or not?

"Mello!" Matt rapped at the door.

We were already there? Already?

The door opened and the expression meant to show amusement towards Matt quickly transformed to something unreadable as eyes fell to me.

"What is it?" he asked.

Matt shouldered our way in past, and I was seated on the bed. He turned around to face Mello, whose cold expression was faltering now. He was irritated. He was going to... no. He wasn't going to hurt me.

"Matt, what is this?"

Matt sighed, massaging the back of his neck, "Ah, I had to show him the way. He said he needed to ask you something. Sorry, but I've got to leave now. I seriously have some things I need to take care of." And then he left with a pat on the back to Mello as he left.

The door was shut. Mello looked at me.

"What did you want to know?"

I'm glad he was being civil...but who knew how long it would last? Matt may have said he was over it, but that didn't really make it any easier. I wasn't scared though. No, I wasn't scared. So, I should just ask.

"Why are you around so much?"

Mello traced along the farthest wall to sit at his desk. "It's not any more than usual."

"It's not..."

"No, it's not. Though I haven't been bothering you, so I don't know why you're brining it up now."

Oh. Not any different? Was it just that I noticed because it's different to see him around... and not being there for me? So that's the answer. It's nothing different. But it feels like it is. It's a feeling. Small, but there. I can't understand what it is though. I may never know...

"Anything else? I have left you alone, finally, and now you're coming around to bother me. Where's the logic in that?"

I don't know. Logic hasn't been working well for me recently. But that wasn't a literal question.

"You don't care anymore? About me?"

Mello narrowed his eyes. Staring hard, as if he were trying to see right into me.

"After I stopped hating you, there was nothing left to care about." I see. He doesn't care. "You don't care either. So, now we're even."

I don't care. Right. I don't care. So, why...am I here? Last time I was here, I was punched. This place does not serve well for good memories.

"I should leave then?"

Mello sighed, picking up a pencil and chewing at the eraser. "Should you? I don't care what you do, just don't get in my way."

Hm? He doesn't care. He doesn't care if I'm here. No... This is too strange. This isn't like Mello at all. It was just temporary. Probably. But, just because my curiosity had no care for my physical being, I stayed in that room anyway. There wasn't anything for me to do. Classes were over for the day. I had nothing to do. Though, it was...different. Strange. Awkward. To be like this. Sitting in Mello's room, on Mello's bed, in Mello's company. He held to his promise too. He really didn't act like he cared. Sometimes I would ask him what he was doing. I'd get a generic answer like, "work". But he wasn't doing anything. Not reacting to anything I said or did. ...I didn't like this. He wasn't being as expressive as he once was. That was something I had liked.

I shouldn't be trying to provoke him. I wouldn't call it that, though my attempts became more bold as I waited for a reaction.

"What are you doing?" Mello asked as I leaned to look at his paper, a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm observing your work."

I could feel the muscles in his shoulder jerk with his pencil scribbles. Mello continued, without even looking over at me.

"Get off me. I never said you could touch me."

It didn't sound violent exactly, but I put my hand down anyway. He continued writing, hair like a curtain to his expression. Did I bother him yet? Was he ever going to show me that human part of him again?

"You spelt dissertation wrong. There are two S's."

He rubbed the pink end of the pencil around the word, rewriting it as I had said.

What did I do? I wandered back over to the bed, sitting down and curling up my legs. I watched him work. Nothing really happened. Soon, I was in a daze, staring out the window and going over the past lessons we've been working on. A chair scraped across the floor, and I looked up at the blonde.

"I've got to use the bathroom."

The bathroom? "Can I go too?"

Mello looked at me again with narrowed eyes. "I don't know, can you? It's a public bathroom, so I can't stop you."

That's true. Mello stepped quickly out the door, I following as best as I could.

Mello stopped at the first urinal. I stopped at the second. He looked me straight in the eye.

"Do you have business with me, or is it that you just get your kicks out of close and personal bouts with me now?"

"No."

His eyes fell down on me, and then he went to stare straight ahead at the wall.

"I'm surprised you even know how to work that thing," he said with a huff.

"What? Why?"

A sigh. "I'd prefer if we'd leave the talk to when everything is back in our pants, alright?"

Mello quickly finished after that, washing and leaving without me. Was I allowed to go back to his room again? I found myself willing to try. After washing my hands I walked back up to his room and knocked on the door. It was opened and I walked past Mello to sit on the bed again. He grumbled something, I'm not sure what, and closed the door.

"What did I do that was surprising?"

Mello rolled his eyes, "Nothing. I was being sarcastic, alright? I just never saw you doing anything that normal. Forgetting that you ignored the rule of spacing."

"Do something normal? Of course I need to use-"

"I know that. It's only that it's easier to believe when you see it yourself."

"You wanted to see-"

"Go fuck yourself. Don't act like that meant anything other than what I meant it to mean."

"I wasn't going to-"

"It's not like it's all that different from anyone else's. So, it's not like it matters."

"Okay..."

"Good."

I curled up my legs again.

"It's not like I haven't seen it before."

I looked at Mello. His arms with crossed and he wore a scowl.

"I got enough of a show to last me that other night."

"I'm sorry?"

"But, like I said, things like that don't matter. We're both guys. Who cares?"

"Right..."

Mello went and checked the only clock in the room. "Aren't you going to go to your room now? You've wasted enough of my time, and I have things to do before bed."

Yes. I can go to my room now. Slowly, I uncurled myself. My feet were placed on the floor, and I gave Mello one last look.

"Sorry. Thank you." I'm not sure which one I wanted to say the most.

I opened the door, shutting it without turning around, and shuffled back to my room. I didn't turn the light on. I pulled the shades up and saw the covering of minute ice needles. I scratched a star into it. Then another. And another. Until it was filled with stars and the tip of my finger was numb. Then I had to get ready for tomorrow.

I grabbed the hamper, dragging it to the door. I should get started on these. I left to the hallway, which was empty. It was slow moving, getting all the way to the stairs. Then, I had to get it down. It wouldn't be as easy dragging it here. I managed though, taking a few steps ahead of it, then guiding it down two thumps. The process was slow, but I had a lot of clothes this week. Somehow they would get wet, or dirty, or other unfortunate things...

The laundry room was just over there.

"Do you need help with that?" Creole smiled from where she stood against the wall.

"Yes. Please."

The girl pranced over, taking an armful and lightening the load significantly. Then, both of us weighted over to the laundry room. Once inside, Creole dropped the clothes by a washer. She smiled in satisfaction, slapping her hands together.

"Là vous allez!"

"Thank you."

"Welcome." She started picking up clothing, tossing them inside a nearby machine.

"You don't need to do that..."

"It is all right. We are friends!" She stopped, placing hands on her hips. "But, I will not be doing it all myself! Dépêchez-vous et aider."

We spent another good amount of time together, silently dealing with my laundry. She is very good at being silent at times. Her face concentrated at what was on hand. Really, very focused.

"How...was your day," I'm not really good at small talk. Such a valuable skill...

Creole tilted a look in my direction, "Moi?" She smiled again, "Good! I am glad you asked. How about you? Was your day good?"

I measured more detergent and threw it in one of the machines, turning the right setting on and leaving it be. Was my day good. I got up. Took classes as normal. I watched the children in the common room until Matt had called me into the hall for that talk. Then I was with Mello. Not much happened then. Nothing bad though so... "I suppose it's been a good day."

"Very good!" Creole nodded in some sort of approval. Then she slammed one last machine shut. That was it. There was only the one load I had just put in that needed to be dried. Work went quicker than expected. She wasn't distracting at all.

Creole bowed, grinning like a devil. What was that for?

"What is with that face?"

"What face? I'm just happy for my payment!"

"Payment?"

"Oh, Near. Will you please come and play with me tomorrow?"

"...alright."

"Very good!" Creole straightened back up. She looked so sunny. "Très bien!"

"Okay."

Creole giggled, patting the stack of folded shirts and pants she'd been working on. "I am sad that I was not able to help you carry them back up! Did you know about that paper due in the class for the history of the world? I have thought of something I must add to it just now! Bye, bye, Near! Adieu!" And she scampered out the door.

I trudged back up the stairs with a hamper of clean clothes, and this time it took even longer. I folded my clothes up and put them in the dresser. I tucked in the sheets that would surely all be in a bundle by morning. Laying myself down, I looked out the window. The stars were still there, etched in. And in between the lines, real stars were out now. Cloud-cover was zero. Just an empty, open sky. There to show me how big the world is and how small I am.

It's kind of useless to know what I know, when I know there's no way I'll ever be able to understand it all. That was the last thought for tonight. Relax. No thinking now. That is the only way I can sleep. In nothing. Cold and empty. Like the night sky.

There she is! What, it took...3 or 4 months? I was suffering some thought blockage on what to do! This has no plot really~ And what a weird chapter to make anyway!

When will they fall in love! ...WILL they fall in love? Oh, my... will they? Can they?

Who knows? I sure don't... Feel free to shoot me your opinions!

Reviews really appreciated!