What Do I Want?
Maylu P.O.V.
I felt my heart ache at the words that swam around in my head. 'You could come back.' No. I can never go back. Not after what I've done. How could I? I attacked the man that kissed me and tried to give me a second chance. But I don't deserve a second chance, and I never will. But he kissed me. But I've already attacked him. Argh! There were too many voices running around in my head to think clearly. Was I ever thinking clearly? Why do I keep asking myself these questions? Of course I'm thinking clearly. Chaud is just trying to trick me that's all. But he seemed so sincere. You're too smart for that, Maylu! But he kissed me. Another trick! Just forget that it even happened! It meant nothing! Absolutely nothing! But if it meant nothing, then… why did I like it so much?
That kiss. That stupid little kiss. It made my heart speed up and slow down at the same time, it made my body pound in excitement, it made me want him more… but why? Why do I feel this way? What could possibly make me feel this way? Why do I feel guilty for feeling this way? Is it entirely possible to feel guilty for being happy? Did it make me happy? Why did it make me happy?
I continued to stare into the soft darkness of my bedroom, pondering all of these things that seemed to continuously make my head hurt from the severe pounding and aching I was experiencing. So is it true then? Am I really a failure? I pulled the curtain in my room back to see the light panel fashioned to look like a window for a little extra comfort. Ha! Like I could ever be comforted by anyone. Why would anyone even care? It's not like I'm even worth anything.
I let the curtain down to leave the light filtering in from under the door, giving a slight illumination to my room. Voices from the other side peeking my intrest. "Everything is going even better then planed." Dr. Wily's scratchy voice cackled in joy. "The girl is even better than we had hoped. If her 'little friends' butt in again, they won't try and stop us because they can't attack her!" He cackled in glee. "It may be more difficult then that, father. Lan and Megaman attacked her, but Chaud and Protoman didn't." I felt oddly guilty at my mother's statement. "What are you saying, Yuri?" "I'm saying that this boy may have certain… feelings towards her. Feelings that we can use to our advantage." The evil sneer was evident in her voice as I felt my stomach drop and my chest ache. But why? Why did I still care? It's not like Chaud could really have "feelings" for me… could he? …Could he? Even so, it's too late for me now. Even if he did feel that way about me. Wait… why am I still thinking about that? About that stupidly, wonderful kiss? Why does my heart hurt so much? Why did I betray everyone?
No. I didn't betray anyone. I didn't betray them, they betrayed me. If they were real friends they would have stuck by me no matter what. But I left them… and joined the bad guys…. No. I reunited with my mother. They should be happy for me. Shouldn't they? Friends should be happy for each other when something good happens to them. That proves that they're not my friends and they never where.
I could still feel those soft lips on mine. How comforting and warm they were. Have I really made the right decision, or am I just being selfish and going the easy way to get what I want?
Author's Note: I'm sorry it's so short, but I didn't want to spend to long on this one thing. But stay tuned! Next chapter: Trap and Escape!