Disclaimer: If I owned something, you would know because it wouldn't make any sense. Also, it wouldn't be famous because it would be too unnecessarily violent for kids' television.

A/N: To make up for not updating sooner, I have included two songs for the price of one. The price didn't change, however, since this is and always will be free.

It was dark in the apartment when Marik returned at 3 am, and so he expected Bakura to still be asleep. But when he pushed open the bedroom door, the shirtless Brit was standing cross-armed and gazing out the window. "Oh," Marik said, "You're up." He awkwardly stood in the doorway as he waited for Bakura to address him.

Bakura continued to stare out the window, the muscles on his back tensed and coiled like they were preparing to pounce. Finally, Bakura said, "The coldness of the empty bed awoke me about two hours ago. I thought you might've taken a walk or gone to pick on Odion, but then I noticed that your deck was missing and that the directions to Yugi Moto's house were pulled up on your computer."

"I can explain," Marik began, but Bakura suddenly took his deck from his hand and shuffled through it.

He pinched the bridge of his nose when he confirmed his suspicions. "Marik, why is Ra missing?"

Marik stared at his feet. "I might have maybe lost him in a duel against the Pharaoh."

Bakura waited for a few moments before responding. "I distinctly remember telling you not to challenge him until we had a fool-proof strategy. We were almost finished with the plan. Now he has Ra, and we have to start all over."

"Now Bakura, I know what you're thinking, but I gave it a lot of thought on my walk back home, and I came up with the perfect response to your anger. The only thing is that I had "Hit Me Baby One More Time" by Brittney Spears stuck in my head, and I only know the first verse and chorus, so it turned out like this:

"Oh no, Bakura,
How was I supposed to know
That he would take my god card?
I know, Bakura,
You told me I shouldn't go
But listening is so hard.
Tell me how I should kill Yugi
And I'll do it even if I have to use the Steves."

Bakura glared at him without a word, so Marik continued:

"Your silent-ness is killing me
And I
I must confess, your voice makes me
Tingle-y.
When you're not talking, I lose my mind.
Melvin's unkind!
Save me from him one more time."

"Didn't the Pharaoh banish him in the fourth chapter?" Bakura reminded.

"Oh. Perhaps, but it was pretty clever, right?" Marik grinned coaxingly.

Bakura turned his back and focused his attention on the computer. "I also had time to compose a few choice words for you while you were out with Yugi. I think you'll get the message rather quickly, but just in case you don't, I wrote an entire song." The speakers emitted the familiar tune of "Set Fire To the Rain" by Adele, and Bakura began to sing:

"You let it fall, your guard
And so the Pharaoh rose to claim him.
Ra was gone when it was over,
So you walked back home alone to tell me.

My will is strong
But my patience is too weak
To put up with this,
So you better hit the street.

Yes, there's a side to me
That you'll have to see, have to see
When we go back out
To fix this quickly, this quickly,
So you best not pout;
I might just kill you if you do.

So I'll set fire to his brain -
Watch it ooze as I lick your face -
It will burn and he'll die,
But first Yugi will scream out your name, your name.

Then I'll take back Ra
While he lays there
And he cries.
Then I'll put you in bed,
Erase this from your head,
Let you dream instead.

Cause there's a side of me
That you'll never see, never see
After you forget,
Have no memory, memory.
Yes, that game you did
Will be null quickly, null quickly.

When I set fire to his brain -
Watch it ooze as I lick your face -
It will burn and he'll die,
But first Yugi will scream out your name, your name.

I'll set fire to his brain
And I will watch him writhe in pain,
Then I'll watch Yugi die
Cause I knew you would lose it that time, one last time.

Then when you wake up in the morn,
You won't remember this night anymore.
No, you'll remember a dream about corn
Or with me and you and Zorc making porn.

I'll set fire to his brain -
Watch it ooze as I lick your face -
It will burn and he'll die,
But first Yugi will scream out your name, your name.

I'll set fire to his brain
And I will watch him writhe in pain,
Then I'll watch Yugi die
Cause I knew you would lose it that time, one last time."

Marik gaped at Bakura, stunned speechless. Bakura smirked, "So now you know, Marik, that I am truly evil."

Marik closed his mouth and shook his head. "I'm baffled by your beautiful voice. Ra, Bakura, why didn't you tell me you could sing?"

Bakura rolled his eyes, then grabbed Marik's wrist and dragged him outside. "Honestly, Marik, why do I even bother telling you my plans. I think you only love me for my voice."

"Is that not a good enough reason?" Marik joked. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"Oh, I just need to pick up a card from the game shop."

A/N: I apologize for any mental scarring that may occur from Bakura's violent song. I had to withhold the fun side of my personality for an entire week, so it kind of spilled out into his song.