Disclaimer: I swear the only thing here that belongs to me is the idea, scout's honor.
Hi everyone! I know this story hasn't been updated in ages and I'm sorry about that. With that said I'll leave you to read this installment of El Regreso. Enjoy!
September 17, 2012
The doors slid open but Arizona stood outside and watched as the people inside carried on with their lives. This place was familiar but strange and she felt like an alien in this place that she used to love. She looked over at the sign that stood fifteen meters from her. It was the same sign that she had left but nothing felt the same. She looked inside once more and shook her head slowly; there was no way she could do this. However, on their own accord her feet moved and before she knew it she was standing in front of the front desk.
A graying but motherly looking woman looked up and smiled at her, "Hello. How can I help you today?"
Arizona wanted to say 'None at all' and leave but her mouth had other ideas, "Uh…I'd like to see Chief Harrison."
"Okay. Do you have an appointment?" the woman asked placing her hand on the phone.
"Uh, no I don't," she took her hand from the phone and shook her head. "But I need to speak with him urgently…can you please tell him that it's Dr. Arizona Robbins."
She shook her head, "Chief Harrison is a busy man and he doesn't like it when people visit unannounced."
"I'm sorry I didn't make an appointment but this is very important," Arizona pleaded. This still smiling woman was quickly annoying her. The older lady placed the call, "Chief, I have a Dr. Arizona Robbins who would like to meet with you." She nodded, "Okay, Sir." She looked at the blonde again and smiled, "Chief Harrison says that he will meet with you. Take the elevator up to the third floor, take a right as soon as you get off, halfway down the hall you will see a door with his name, knock and enter."
"Thank you," she took the visitor's ID offered to her and went on her way.
Five minutes later she was standing in front of Harrison's office. Her heart was pounding erratically in her chest and she tried to bring it to a steady rhythmic pace. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. The words became a mantra to her. She had told Callie the night before that this would happen but like the good wife she was Callie told her that she had to push through and that she could do it. Damn, how easy it was for Callie to say that. She already had a job, a very secure job at one of the best hospitals on the west coast…possibly in the whole country. She reined her thoughts in, took a breath and knocked on the door…it was now or never.
"Come in," Harrison's voice boomed through the closed door. She took another deep breath and opened the door to be greeted with the balding spot in the middle of her former boss' head. He looked up from the stack of paper in front of him and smiled and stood when he saw his visitor, "Arizona, to what do I owe the pleasure?" The nerves that she had worked so hard to quell had returned in full force. She closed the door and sat in the chair that he offered. "Water or coffee?"
"Wat…neither," Arizona said. "Chief, this isn't a social visit."
He pursed his lips and looked at her solemnly. He returned to his large leather chair and laced his fingers together before leaning back, "What can I do for you, Dr. Robbins?"
Arizona pulled a folder from the bag that she had placed beside her feet, "I would like to be rehired as a pediatric surgeon at this hospital." When she was practicing with Callie last night, after putting Sofía to bed, she had a grand speech about why Harrison should rehire her but in that moment the speech seemed so false and so forced that she went for the simple and easy version.
Chief Harrison's released a long breath through his nostrils as he leaned forward, "Arizona, I'm sorry but I –"
"I have my résumé and even though I was not in the US for a while I was still practicing…technically," she said quickly. This was one plan that she did not want to see fall through because if it did what was she going to do?
Harrison was calm when he spoke, no doubt he remembered the blonde's problem with confronting authority figures, "Arizona, this isn't about your competency, I'm sure you're still as gifted as that night that you…left. I can't hire you because I have no openings in Pediatric Surgery and because we have budgetary constraints that would prevent me from hiring you even if it was possible." The chief's words completely deflated Arizona. She had been on a high all week, she was rebuilding her relationship with Calliope and getting extremely close to their daughter, her parents were scheduled to be arriving in Seattle the next day and she really wanted some good news to share with her folks. Her shoulders sagged and Harrison continued, "I'm sure any hospital would be happy to have you, I'm just sorry it won't be Seattle Presbyterian."
With a forced smile Arizona placed the folder into her bag and stood. "Thank you for you time Chief," she extended her hand and Chief Harrison stood along with her and shook her hand. "Have a nice day."
"Thank you," she walked to the door, he stopped her when her hand was on the doorknob, "Arizona, good luck with your search. I'm sure you'll find somewhere that's able to bring you on full-time."
She nodded and forced another smile, "Thank you, Chief."
Arizona closed the door behind her and was surprised to notice that the dam behind her eyes had not yet burst. She ran her hand through her long, blond hair and closed her eyes before using the same hand to reach for the phone in her pocket. She quickly punched in the number that had become so familiar to her over such a short period of time.
The phone rang twice before it was answered, "Hey, how'd it go?"
Arizona sighed and began walking away from Harrison's office, "Horribly. He said that even if they did have openings in peds they wouldn't be able to take me on because of 'budgetary constraints'," she stepped into an elevator that was already occupied by two nurses. "And then he wished me good luck."
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry to hear that. Do you want to grab lunch with me?" the elevator stopped on the second floor and the nurses got off and a young Attending steeped in.
"Yeah sure Calliope," she said, avoiding the man's eyes. "Where should I meet you, babe?" the man did not stop staring, Arizona chalked it up to him being either deaf or stupid.
"How about you swing by here and I'll take you out?" Callie replied and Arizona heard a door slam shut from Callie's side and her wife's muffled voice speaking to someone.
The elevator stopped on the first floor and opened with a ding, "Okay, I'll see you in a few."
"Okay, I have to go," Callie ended the call and Arizona left the hospital building.
Thirty minutes later, Arizona was standing at the nurses' station on the orthopedic surgery ward. She had gone straight to Callie's office but had not found the Latina, tried calling her but received no response so she went to the nurses' station. She gave a small smile to the young woman behind the desk, "Hi, I'd like to see Dr. Torres but it seems she isn't in her office. Do you know where I might find her?"
The young woman returned Arizona's smile, "She left with Chief Hunt about half an hour ago and she hasn't been back since. She's either in his office or in the ER; I can page her if you want."
"That would be great. Thank you," she took a seat across from the nurses station and watched the activities of her wife's orthopedic ward. The nurse informed her that Callie had responded saying that she would be there in five minutes. The blonde thanked her again and continued to watch the people milling around the ward. Looking on from the outside, Callie's ward seemed to run perfectly even if she was not there. That was actually a hard feat to pull of in a surgical ward that had interns running around. Her own ward at Seattle Presbyterian had run smoothly when she was out as well. Once she had contracted a severe case of the flu and had been out for almost two weeks; she was pleasantly surprised to see her ward still functioning when she returned.
"Hey, sorry for making you wait," Callie's voice said coming from the opposite direction that Arizona's eyes were trained in.
The blonde turned around and for a minute completely forgot what she was doing or how to form words. Callie was hot. Like seriously hot. She had known this before…she had always known this…but seeing the Latina standing in front of her in her navy blue scrubs and her hair in a loose, messy and undeniably sexy bun was a pleasant reminder of how amazing her wife was in every way.
"Arizona?" the woman's voice broke Arizona from her very pleasant daydream.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she gave Callie her best dimpled smile. "Are you ready to go?"
Callie narrowed her eyes, "Yeah." Arizona stood up beside her, "Come on, I need to go to my office first though."
Fifteen minutes later they were both seated at a table at an outdoor restaurant. Callie sat listening patiently as Arizona ranted about her failed attempt at a job interview; she did not even stop when the waiter brought their glasses of water and wine.
When she did stop she looked across the table to see brown eyes looking at her intently, "What?"
Callie shook her head, "Nothing."
Arizona knew that it was never 'nothing' when it came to Callie but she nodded and allowed it to slide for the moment, "Okay. So how's your day been so far?"
Callie sighed, "I've been signing charts and going through papers all day as well as keeping an eye on my residents and their clueless interns. I swear, being an Attending is better than being the head of a department," Arizona nodded in agreement, "I haven't broken or realigned a single bone in two days and the only reason I got to was because an intern was putting a patient in more pain that was necessary for a simple broken wrist and the residents were meeting with Hunt." Arizona laughed at how cute her wife was when she was frustrated, early on in their relationship when Callie was tense or upset about something she usually took it out in one of two ways breaking bones or lots of sex but with the former being the source of her frustration and the latter being off the books for now, she has nothing left to do but rant. They engaged in light conversation until the waiter brought their food. After a sip of her water Callie spoke again, "Sof wants you to pick her up from school today…actually she insisted and I'll have to be out until late tonight working on something with Hunt and Mark."
Arizona smiled brightly and nodded, "Yeah, sure I can pick her up." Her smile fell, "I'm going to have to get food unless you're okay with her eating at IHOP for dinner."
Callie slid a single key on a keyring across the table to Arizona, "The passcode is your birth month and day." Arizona picked up the subtle hint that Callie was sending to her and everything in her head was telling her not to take the key but her fingers wrapped around the flat, silver object and pocketed it. Callie watched her carefully and only spoke again when the key was in out of sight, "I made lasagna and it's in the freezer, you just have to microwave it and she's going to try and get you to give her ice cream before dinner please don't or it's going to be hell to get her to eat after and to do her homework."
Despite how matrimonial this situation seemed and how nervous she was about what Callie was implying she snickered, "Yes ma'am."
"I'm serious Arizona, no ice cream before dinner," Callie said.
Their lunch date went smoothly but Arizona could no stop thinking about what Callie, and Sofía, wanted from her. Of course she would love to move in with them but she did not think that she was ready to…that they were ready for that level of change. She wanted to tell Callie but how do you tell your wife that you are not ready to live with her? She stopped thinking about it as Callie called for the waiter to bring the bill.
On the drive back they kept up a conversation about Callie's cartilage research and the paper that she had written on it. "You know it wouldn't be a very big thing if you did," Callie said when a beat of silence had passed between them
Arizona looked at her confused, "Huh?'
Callie glanced at her for a second, "You moving in with us." before Arizona could respond she continued, "I mean, yeah it would be a big thing but we're still married and you being back has changed both my and Sofia's lives already so moving in wouldn't be a bigger change for us and Sof's been asking when you're going to come and live with us…and…and you wouldn't have to live in that awful motel."
"Is that what you were thinking about earlier?" Arizona asked.
Callie blushed, "I've been thinking about it for a while. I just didn't know how to bring it up."
"So giving me your key and passcode and asking me to pick up Sof was the best you could think of."
Callie blushed even more, "I…yes." Arizona nodded. "So are you going to?"
Arizona shrugged, "I don't know yet. I mean eventually, yes, but I'm not sure right now. We still have things to talk about and sort through…"
"We can talk about everything…at home. Come on Arizona, I'm trying here."
"I can see that Calliope. I'm just saying that…I'm just saying, give me time…please," Arizona said with finality.
The two did not exchange many words for the remainder of the drive except when Callie asked if Arizona knew where Sofía's school was to which she answered in the affirmative.
Arizona found herself lost in her thoughts again and was surprised when Callie stopped in front of the hospital and grabbed her handbag from the backseat, "I'll see you later."
"I was planning on heading back to the motel," Arizona said.
"So take my car, how else would you get Sof from school anyways?" Callie countered.
"Oh…okay," Callie leaned over and kissed her cheek.
"Yeah, so I'll see you tonight," Callie left the vehicle and walked up the walkway that led to the hospital doors.
Arizona slid across to the driver's seat while watching Callie. When the Latina was out of sight she looked through her window and saw Callie's apartment building across the street; she shook her head, there was no way that she was going to use that key until she was with Sofía later that evening. She put the car in drive and went to the motel; she still had an hour before Sofía's school ended. She spent the forty-five minutes that she could afford to surf the internet looking for any openings in pediatrics at any of the hospitals in the surrounding area, of course there were none.
Arizona was frustrated as she sat in the car waiting for the school's bell to ring. She knew that it would not be very easy to find a job almost immediately after she returned but she did not expect it to be this difficult either. She sighed and got out of the vehicle as the bell rang and walked up to the doors of the school behind two women who were engaged in conversation about their sons' performances in school. As soon as she stepped into the hallway Arizona could hear the chatter of children eagerly playing or awaiting their parents' arrival. She followed the two women to a desk that was manned by a petite brunette who asked them to sign out their sons who were playing with each other in a room. Arizona tried to peep in to find Sofía but did not see the little girl.
She stepped up to the desk and began searching for Sof's name but was stopped by the woman, "Hello, who are you here for?"
"Sofía Torres," she said taking up the pen after having found the name she was looking for.
"I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask for your name," the woman said while pulling a file from a drawer.
"Arizona Robbins. I'm her mother…her other mother," Arizona said slowly putting the pen down.
"I'm sorry but you're name is not on the list of approved persons that her mother gave us," the woman continued.
Arizona was already frustrated and this woman was only making her even more aggravated, "That's because I've been missing for almost five years! Of course I'm not going to be on the list." She calmed down slightly, "Can you just call Calliope and she'll tell you whatever it is you want to hear."
The woman asked Arizona to step out of line and to wait at the side while she placed the call to Callie's phone. A few minutes later she motioned for Arizona to step forward. "I'm sorry about that, Dr. Torres made it clear that we were to adhere to the list if someone other than her, Dr. Sloan or the Shepherds were to come for Sofía." Arizona nodded and the woman smiled, "She will be here soon."
A minute later Sofía came running from the room behind the desk, "Momma 'Zona!"
Arizona lifted the little girl in a hug, "Hey there, big girl. How was your day?"
She put her down and Sofía handed her backpack to her mother, "I got all my homework right!"
"Oh you did?" the little Latina nodded. "Well that's because you're a smart little girl."
"I'm not a little girl, Momma 'Zona," Sofía chastised.
"I'm sorry Sof," Arizona opened the back door of the car and allowed Sofía to hop in and buckle herself in before sliding into the driver's seat. She looked in the rearview mirror at her wife's replica, "Where to, Sof?"
"Mama!" the little girl shouted.
"You want to go to the hospital to see mama?" Arizona asked feigning surprise. Sofía's two ponytails jumped as she nodded. "Alright, let's go see mama."
Sofía walked through the halls of the hospital with a huge smile on her face and her mother on her arm as she waved to every nurse and doctor who called to her. Her little hand knocked on Callie's office door and she turned the knob when her other mother's voice came from inside.
"Mama!" she shouted running into the office, Arizona following on her heel. "Momma 'Zona picked me up from school."
"Hi Sof, it's nice to see you too," Callie said closing the lid of her laptop and lifting her daughter on to her lap, she glanced over at Arizona who was sitting on the couch by the door with her eyes closed. "You said you wanted her to, didn't you?"
Sofía covered her mouth and coughed while she nodded. When her fit had ended she looked up at Callie, "Can Momma 'Zona pick me up everyday?"
Callie shrugged, "Why don't you ask her?"
Arizona's eyes opened as she felt Sofía's hand patting her knee, "Momma 'Zona?"
"Yes, Sof?" Arizona responded.
"Can you pick me up from school everyday, Momma 'Zona?" the little girl asked, her Robbins dimples on display and there was no way Arizona could say no.
"Sure honey," the blonde answered and Sofía's smile grew.
"Hey, I'm sorry about what happened when you went to get her, I had meant to call and tell them you were coming but it completely slipped my mind," Callie said getting up to sit beside Arizona and Sofía.
"It's fine. Neither of us expected that I'd be the one to pick her up from school so it's okay," Arizona said while tickling her daughter who was sitting on her lap.
Sofía's laughter turned into another coughing fit that left her mothers worried, "Mi'ja are you feeling okay?"
Sofía nodded, "Yes, mama."
Callie stood and took a thermometer from a drawer in her desk and placed it in Sofía's mouth, "There's cough medicine in the cabinet in the bathroom and turn the humidifier on, please." Arizona nodded and took the thermometer from Sofía's mouth, "One oh five. You have a fever, Sof."
"But I feel fine Momma 'Zona," the little girl countered.
Callie backed up Arizona as Sofía began another bout of coughs, "You need to go home and sleep, princesa. You'll feel better when you wake up."
Arizona lifted her daughter and placed her on her hip, "Come on Sof, let's get you home and drugged up."
"Arizona, don't say that!" Callie kissed Sof's temple and Arizona's cheek. "I'll see you both tonight, okay?"
"Okay, mama."
"Yup, see you later."
Ten minutes later, Arizona was opening the door to Callie's apartment and Sofía was still coughing. She put in the passcode for the alarm system as Sofía went to her room. She found the cough medicine with ease and when she went to Sofía's room she found the girl sleeping, still in her uniform. Arizona smiled, Sof slept like her mother but it also broke her heart that it was because of illness why the little girl was asleep at three-thirty.
"Sof?" she sat on the edge of the bed and placed her hand on the little girl's back but she did not respond. "Sofía wake up, honey," she mumbled incoherently and opened her eyes. "Come on, we've got to get you out of your uniform and get some of this medicine inside of you, okay?" Sofía nodded and lifted her hands so Arizona could remove her shirt and replace it with her pajama top. She fell asleep again as soon as Arizona had allowed her to lie down. The blonde kissed her forehead, "Que te mejores, princesa."
Arizona decided to reheat the lasagna by stove instead of by microwave. Cooking was never her forte, and Callie only trusted her with a microwave, but in truth she knew how to make simple things using a stove. She was just about finished when Sofía shouted for her. She rushed to the room but did not find Sofía there. "Sof? Where are you?"
"Bathroom," the little girl moaned.
Arizona found her sitting on the floor in front of the toilet with her head slumped against the wall. She kneeled down, "Sof, what happened? Are you okay?"
"I threw up. I don't feel okay, Momma 'Zona," Sofia said through coughs as she rested her head against Arizona's shoulder.
Arizona ran her hand over dark hair, "Do you want to sleep outside with me?" Sofía nodded, "Okay let's get your blanket and pillows and get you comfy on the couch."
Sofía fell asleep watching an episode of Fairly Oddparents; Arizona muted the television and sat beside her on the couch. She used the back of her hand to gauge Sofía's temperature and by an abstract professional diagnosis the child's temperature was rising. Arizona's phone rang and startled her, she ran to get it before it could rouse the sleeping girl.
"Hello?" Arizona whispered, moving away from Sofía.
"Hey, how is she?" Callie asked.
"Her temperature is rising and she just threw up but she's sleeping again now," Arizona said. "Sounds like she has a stomach bug to me."
"Hm, okay. I'm going to try to push this thing with Hunt back and try to get home earlier," Callie responded.
"It's fine, do what you have to do. I can take care of her, after all it was my job to take care of sick kids," Arizona peeped out of the room to check on Sofía.
"Okay. Make our girl better, Arizona," Callie said.
Arizona gave her a small, weary smile, "I will." The call ended and Arizona went back to sitting with Sofía.
Arizona woke with a start and found Sofía wrapped in her arms, still in her Disney princesses blanket. The little girl was looking at her and moaned, "Momma 'Zona, I'm hungry."
"Okay, I'm going to need to reheat the dinner your Mama made for us." Arizona got up and looked at the clock, it was seven-thirty, well past Sofía's regular dinner time. Fifteen minutes later, Arizona returned with a plate of food for Sofía, a plate for herself and two large cups of orange juice. "Here you go, Sof." She unmuted the television and changed the channel to something more educational than SpongeBob.
Sofía ate half of everything that was on her plate and drank all of her juice, "Momma, can I have more juice?"
Arizona took the cup and returned with it half full and another dosage of cough medicine, "Here you are, big girl."
"Thank you, Momma," she took her medicine and washed it down with the juice before leaning against her mother. "Momma?"
"Yes, honey?" Arizona responded looking down at her.
"Are you coming to live with us?" her eyes were closed as she spoke.
"I will be soon, Sof." Sofía snuggled into Arizona even more and fell asleep again.
Arizona's problem with moving in was that she wanted to talk to Callie about everything, the kidnapping, Catalina, their lives, Sofía's life and the best way to truly move forward. Callie wanted to do all of that after Arizona had moved in but the blonde wanted to talk before she did, before anything else happened. She wanted her family, there was nothing that she wanted more but she knew that if she just moved in they would become complacent and would never talk about anything, it was their thing. When their relationship had begun, communication was difficult for them but they had eventually worked it out over the years and when she had been kidnapped it still was not stellar but it was good. Since being back she had noticed that they had reverted to almost their original, almost nonexistent level of communication. It was not good and they needed to fix that before they could think about anything else.
Arizona carried Sofía to her room before returning to the living area and tidying it and the kitchen.
She was putting away the last of the dishes when the door opened and Callie walked in with a smile on her face, "Hey. I have a surprise for you." She threw her keys onto the table beside the door and dropped her bag in the couch before kissing Arizona's cheek.
The blonde furrowed her brows and looked at her, "I don't like surprises, Calliope."
"I know but I think you'll like this one," Callie said looking behind her at the still open door. "Come in," she said to no one.
Arizona looked over the Latina's shoulder and her mouth fell open, "Mom, Dad, what…what are you doing here? I thought your flight was tomorrow."
The elder Robbins walked into the apartment and closed the door behind them. Callie moved out of the way as Barbara rushed up to her daughter and wrapped her in a tight hug, "It was but we got the deal settled earlier than expected so we changed our flight." Arizona hugged her mother, "Oh baby," Barbara sounded as though she were crying, "I never thought I'd see you again."
Barbara tried to hold Arizona at arms length to appraise her but the blonde refused and held on to her mother, her own tears threatening to fall. She did not say anything; she simply soaked up all the love and warmth that her mother was giving to her in waves. Arizona opened her eyes to see a smile on her father's usually emotionless face and she let go of her mother only to find herself crying into her father's chest a second later. He held her and kissed the top of her head while gently rocking her back and forth, like he did when she was a child.
During her time in Spain Arizona could only imagine the anguish that her parents were feeling with one child being involved in one of the most deadly wars in history and the other being somewhere that no one knew. Now that she was back in their arms she never wanted to move, she wanted to stay cocooned in her father's arms, her face buried into his chest as he stroked her blonde hair. But her cocoon was penetrated by Sofía calling out for her and coughing. Callie left the Robbins and went to check up on her little girl.
Daniel led Arizona to the couch and she sat between her parents, like she did when she came out to them at fourteen years old and when Timothy announced at twenty years old that he was leaving college to join the US Army, her father put his arm around her shoulders and her mother held on to her hand. No one said anything for a few minutes and Arizona used the time to gather her thoughts and find the best way to her parents what happened to her. But there was no best way…there was not even a good way.
"I told you both that I would tell you what happened when you got here and you're here so I guess it's time for me to talk, right?" she said looking straight ahead, she realized that her voice sounded detached but that was how she always felt when she thought about Spain and Vasquez.
Her father ran his palm up and down her arm, "You don't have to tell us tonight, honey. We'll have plenty of time between now and when we leave on Wednesday."
The blonde released a heavy breath. Of course her father could pick up the fear and tension that she held regarding the subject. She was yet to talk to anyone, except Harrison, about everything that had happened while she was in Spain. It was not something that she found easy to share with the ones she loved; she did not want to see the pity that they would give her or hear the 'I'm sorry's that they would definitely say. She just wanted to be back and talk about everything in her own time.
Callie returned from Sofía's room and went to the kitchen to pour her parents-in-law two glasses of water, "Her temperature is one oh seven now. I'm not sending her to school tomorrow."
She brought over the glasses and set them on the table before sitting across from the Robbins family. Arizona nodded, "I can come by before you leave for work and stay with her tomorrow. If that's okay with you?" She knew what her parents were thinking and she knew that given the opportunity they would question her, again, as to why she was not living with Callie and Sofía.
"Yeah, that'd be great." Callie responded with a smile.
Arizona watched as her parents and her wife spoke and laughed with each other. All the members of the Robbins family, plus Nick, had always loved Callie. They supported her through everything, when her family has disowned her, when her father had cut her off financially and apparently when Arizona had gone missing. They had always treated her like she was a part of the family even before the day that Arizona slid the ring on to her left ring finger and made her one of the family, when she made Callie her wife.
They were talking about a recent political issue in Massachusetts that was all over the news that Arizona was not fully aware of. There was a time, a very long time ago, when Callie and the elder Robbins got into one of their bonding moments she would excuse herself and find her brother so they could have their own bonding moment. Beside Callie and her parents, Timothy was the person she missed the most but she had been missing him for a very long time before she had been taken to Spain. Several times while she was sleeping in her bed in Vasquez's mansion she had dreamt that she had made it back to America but when she was greeted by news that one of her family members or close friends had passed on while she was gone. Callie. Her mother. Her father. Nick. Timothy. The first and the last were the most frequent. Those nights she would wake up in a cold sweat and after calming herself she would refuse to go back to sleep and chose instead to stare at the ceiling with hot tears running down her face. Now here she was with no one to turn to. Her parents had told her that the last time they had heard from Timothy was four months prior when he had called to tell them that his base was being moved but he could not tell them where they were being moved to. He had promised to call them but they were still waiting for the phone to ring.
She excused herself from between her parents and went to Sofía's room. Being a doctor she knew she should not be around the girl too much if she had a stomach bug but she reminded Arizona so much of Timothy that she could not help herself. She crept into the very pink and Easter basket-y room to see Sofía curled up under her sheet with a stuffed yellow and blue fish clutched between her body and her arm. Arizona smiled as she saw more of her brother in Sofía as she slept. He had a tendency to pout when he was sleeping and now Sofía was doing the same. She found it adorable and heartbreaking at the same time. She felt as though she was on the road to getting her family back but then she always remembered that her brother was still out there fighting a war. At the end of every day she would say thank you to whoever or whatever was out there keeping her brother alive…keeping her from getting that call from her parents saying that his body was being sent home. She shook her head, thinking about her brother's lifeless body in a coffin was not helping her. She ran her hand over Sofía's head and smiled softly.
"Arizona, como estas? Pareces triste," the little girl said walking over to Arizona and stepping in between her legs to lean on her thighs and look up into blue eyes.
Arizona hugged her, "Estoy bien pero tengo sueños también."
Catalina nodded her head, "Si estas cansada por que no vas a dormir?"
"Porque Señorita Catalina no quiere va a dormir ya," Arizona said smiling as the little girl between her legs laughed as she was tickled.
"¡Vale! ¡Vale! ¡Voy a dormir!" Catalina replied running away from her doctor and closest…only…friend.
Arizona had never thought that she would make a good mother. She had seen her mother do it all her life but she could never imagine herself in that position so at eighteen years of age she had sworn to herself that she did not want and would not have children. I was normal for her to thank whatever being had created her for making her gay so that it would never be an issue. When Callie had told her that she wanted children she was terrified; Callie made it a deal breaker, their relationship and a baby or no relationship and no baby. Arizona had been pissed at her for weeks, almost months, for making her choose between the love of her life and something that she had decided years before that she did not want. She made that known and Callie told her that she could not understand what kind of woman did not want children. That night Arizona had a three-way call with Timothy and Nick who tried to knock some sense into her but it took two weeks for Arizona to break through her stubbornness and talk to Callie about it. She found out that Callie's deal breaker was tearing at the Latina as much as it was tearing at her. Callie folded and admitted that Arizona was more important to her than anything else but Arizona had already convinced herself that having a child would not be too bad…as long as she was not the oven that the child lived in for nine months. She could remember the smile on Callie's face when she told her that. They got married, tried to start a family and failed twice until Callie actually got pregnant and then Arizona was taken away from her family. She found herself having to be a doctor, a friend and eventually a mother to Catalina. The little girl grew on her and made her realize that she would not be as bad as she thought she would be at being a mother. Watching Sofía sleep made her regret that she was not given the chance to realize that with her own daughter. But now that was what Callie wanted. She never said it explicitly but she wanted Arizona in their daughter's life as a mother…a mother that lived with her wife and her daughter. She wanted that as well but she could not see it happening in the upcoming week…or the week after that. She wanted a job before she could move in; after all it was her belief that both partners had to bring something to the table and in her present condition there was nothing she could bring but difficulties and nightmares so she was waiting until she had…something.
"Your parents are leaving," Callie's voice startled her but she did not take her eyes off Sofía.
"Can you tell them I fell asleep, please. I'm not in any frame of mind to talk right now."
Callie did not respond but Arizona knew she was still standing in the doorway, appraising her. After almost a minute Callie answered, "Okay. I'll be driving them back to their hotel. If you want to stay over there are sheets and blankets in my room, the couch is a fold out bed. Spare toothbrushes are in the bathroom and you can find something in my drawers or closet to wear to bed."
"It's okay, I think I'll be heading out when you get back." Callie did not reply to this, she simply walked away.
For the next half and hour Arizona sat in the same position until she head the door close behind Callie. She got up, kissed Sofía goodnight and walked out into the living room to see the Latina tidying up.
Arizona grabbed her bag, "Her fever went down to one hundred."
"Okay thanks," Callie said not looking at her.
"Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow at…" Arizona's hand was on the door and the only thing she wanted to do was leave. She was a bit happy that Callie refused to make eye contact with her.
Callie stood and walked to the sink, "Eight-thirty…nine."
"Okay, I'll be here. Goodnight Calliope," she heard Callie's goodnight as she closed the door and walked down the dimly lit hallway.