Disclaimer: Look at your cards. Now back to me. Now at your cards. Now back to me. If the ATK/DEF of your monsters end in 0, then I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Clearly I would have made them all odd because it would be truly evil. Try calculating damage with odd numbers and you'll see what I mean.

A/N: Alright, fans, if you wish for this story to continue, you must suggest popular songs for me to parody since I am a hermit and don't know what the kids like these days.

After intentionally losing Marik at Kaibaland, Bakura quickly made his escape to Yugi's house to sort out some rather irritating business. The bell over the door of the game shop announced his arrival, and Yugi's grandpa looked up from his issue of DUEL JEWELS Magazine. He smiled obliviously and called up the stairs to his descendent, "Yugi, your British friend is here to see you. Hurry down so you can defend me in case he tries to seriously injure me like the rest of your sketchy friends have."

"Grandpa, I don't have a British friend," Yugi called back as he ran into the room, tugging his too-tight leather pants on. "Oh, it's just Bakura. Wait, are you evil Bakura or good Bakura?"

Bakura crossed his arms and replied, "Take a wild guess."

Yugi rolled his eyes, then suddenly was engulfed in a tangled mess of neon vapor-ribbons. When the theatrics dispersed, a taller, handsomer Yugi reappeared. The Pharaoh smirked smugly at Bakura, "To what do I owe the pleasure, Bakura?"

Bakura frowned. "Cut the crap, Pharaoh. You know why I'm here, and you know how to make me go away."

The Pharaoh nodded, grabbing his deck. "If it's a duel you want, I accept."

"I don't have time for your stupid games. Just give me the card, and I might postpone killing you."

From the back room, Joey's voice called out, "Hey, Yug. Hurry up with the popcorn, or you'll miss the reciting of the rules."

Bakura smirked. "Ah, perfect. More victims for the convincing."

"Leave my friends out of this," the Pharaoh warned.

"Oh, are you getting angry? You're getting angry at me? Listen, Pharaoh, I'm the only one with the right to be angry." Bakura pulled out a remote, clicked a button, and the music to "Chemicals React" by Aly and Aj started playing. Bakura sang:

"You make me come out of my apartment.
You just had to invoke my wrath.
Should have known I wouldn't allow it,
But you needed a laugh.

It's over, hand me Ra
Or I will kill you all.
No, don't get me started,
This is a pardon.
This is your last chance
'Fore I make your guts dance.
Yeah
No, your friends will not survive,
Nor will I leave you alive.
Simple as that,
The psychopaths react
And I'm a psychopath.

Would you have me kill Tea or Tristan,
Or would Joey himself suffice?
No, I don't think you understand yet.
Is Ra worth this sacrifice?

You cannot deny
The lust in my eyes
For you pests to die.

It's over, hand me Ra
Or I will kill you all.
No, don't get me started.
Don't act retarded.
This is your last chance
'Fore I make your guts dance.
Yeah
No, your friends will not survive,
Cannot ever be revived,
When I react,
And your head will be cracked
Cuz I'm a psychopath.

A raging fire working
Wonders in your small brain,
Raising thunder
As your skull implodes for me.
You have to choose it (Before I lose it).

It's over, hand me Ra
Or I will kill you all.
No, don't get me started,
This is a pardon.
This is your last chance
'Fore I make your guts dance.
Yeah

Can't live,
Can't love,
Just hurt,
Just fall.
I'm right,
You're wrong.
You're weak,
I'm strong.
I came for Ra.

And I will not leave this place
If I have to melt your face
To get Ra back
And get Marik in the sack,
To get Ra back
Get Marik in the sack,
Get Marik in the sack."

The Pharaoh clapped his hands over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut. "Oh Ra, the mental images! Alright, take your stupid card back; just quit talking about your sex life." He handed the Egyptian god card to Bakura and fled to the back room.

Bakura smirked and stalked calmly out of the game shop. He held up his Millennium Ring as it began to glow and point. "Alright," he said to himself, "Let's go find Marik."

A/N: Turns out the cure for writer's block is sitting in your car for an hour waiting to get shots for your animals. On an unrelated note, Sharpie's weakness is cow pee. Don't ask.