Sorry this chapter is really short but I wanted to get something out asap.

One year, three months and thirteen days!

Thats how long it has been since the last time I saw James, it has been a very long year, 3 months and 13 days for me. Not a single day goes by that I don't think about him or wonder how he is, how the band is doing. I hear about them on TV and I read about them on the Internet. BTR won three KCA's and are set to go on another world tour in the spring. I'm happy for them but I cant help but think that maybe they are doing a lot better now that James isn't tied down to a girl from back home, not that "back home" is really that far. Their have been nights that I really wanted to just get in my car and make that 2 and half hour trip to LA just to see him but I'm not sure if he even wants to see me.

After we broke up, I kept in contact with Carlos being as he was probably the closes one to him. He would tell me that he really missed me and that he wasn't really the same James anymore. He would say that he would go out and do a show but as soon as it was over he would go right to the hotel or to the bus and shut his self off from the world. After awhile Carlos would just tell me that he was better and that he was starting to act more and more like his self which was great but a part of me felt hurt because I knew that, that meant he was starting to get over me. But for me it wasn't so easy. Up until recently I would cry myself to sleep thinking that maybe I made a mistake. I missed him so much it physically hurt. But I knew it was for the best. He was free to travel the world and not have to worry about me. He was free to do his job and not have deal with me. I started to convince myself that it was definitely the right thing to do. It didn't mean that it didn't hurt still because let me tell you, like I said, not a day goes by that I don't miss him.

After we ended things it took me forever to get rid of (and by get rid of I mean shove in a box in the bottom of my closet) all the pictures that where scattered all around my house of him and I. Not to mention all the other things that reminded me of him. I still had some of his things at my house, I still do, they are in that box. But putting it all away was the hardest thing I had to do. It made it final. I can still remember the day that he told me he was leaving to live in LA.

~Flashback~

"Hannah, where are you" I could hear James yell as he walked into the house. "In here" I answered. He walked into my bedroom and sat on the bed. I was finishing up homework. "Hey, what are you doing?" "Homework, whats up?" I said sitting up from laying on my stomach. He looked at me with the biggest smile on his face, "I got the part, we start reading next month." "AHHHHH! OH MY GOSH! Thats amazing babe" I threw my arms around him and kissed him. "Congratulations." "Thank you! But there is some bad news." I looked at him a little confused. "I have to move to LA." I couldn't help but be sad about that. He practically lived in my backyard, I saw him every single day of my life since we were 6. We did everything together and now all of a sudden he was leaving. "OK." was all I managed to get out. "I know it sucks. I don't want to leave but I really need to do this." "I know, and you know what? I am so proud of you. This is an amazing opportunity and you have to do whatever needs to be done to go after your dreams. We can't be sad about you leaving, this is a great thing." "Really, you mean that?" "Yes! I do. Yea it will suck being so far away from you but its only a 2 and half hour drive from here." "Yeah and I'll come home every chance I get." "We can do this. We can, I know we can." He looked over at me "Promise?" "Promise"

~End Flashback~

Who would have thought I would be the one to break that promise. With that thought I had to get ready for my parents annual Christmas Eve party. I was really excited to see my family, family that we don't get to see much and friends as well. Christmas was always my favorite holiday. Even though you see on TV where towns have snow on the ground around Christmas time, I always wished we had that but no, here in San Diego, on Christmas it may get around 60. Never cold enough for snow. James used to tell me about times when he lived in New York before he moved here, he could still remember going out in the snow on 'snow days' and playing with his friends and building forts and having snow ball fights. We never had any of that. If I wanted to see snow I had to go to another state or to a snow resort. After getting ready I headed to my parents house. When I pulled up I notice all the cars that where there. When my parents do anything they have to do it big. Walking in the house I was stopped by a few family members and friends, the usual short conversations "How are you?" Hows work?" "Are you ready for Christmas?" That one made me laugh, well I better be ready since tomorrow was the big day. I finally made it to my sister who was standing in the kitchen. "Hey Hannah!" She said as we hugged. "Hey!" You see mom and dad yet?" "Yea I passed mom by the door but she was talking to a friend so I didn't bother, I'll see her in a bit" "Are you hungry?" My sister asked. "Yea ill make my way over there in a minute!" I answered. "Well you better hurry, Uncle Jake has been over there twice already and is about to make his way there for the third time." We both laughed. "I better get over there then"

After a couple of hours of eating and having small conversations with family and friends, I was ready to leave. I went to find my sister. She was coming to my house tonight like she does every Christmas since we moved out of our parents house. We always said that until we have families of our own we will spend Christmas Eve together and wake up together. People wondered why we didn't just stay with our parents and I think the reason we didn't was because we were "too old" for that. I chuckled to myself knowing that my sister and I stay together on Christmas Eve and some may say we are "too old" for that too but whatever. I found my sister talking to my moms sister Aunt Cathy. I walked over to them. My aunt was talking about how wonderful her kids were and how wonderful her grandchildren were. Her kids were much older than my sister and I. My aunt always liked to "One-up" my mom and dad. But my mother never cared. It bothered me my sister and my dad more than in bothered her. I stood there waiting for them to finish so I could ask my sister if she was ready to go soon but they just kept talking and talking. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw someone walking in through the front door. I looked over, my heart stopped, I felt like I was going to fall to the floor, my knees where feeling like they were about to give out on me, I had every emotion imaginable run through my head. I thought for a second that I might throw up or pass out one or the other. He looked straight into my eyes. "James"