Disclaimer: Three cheers for animation! Now read this story I don't own the rights to.

A/N: The End! Oh, wait, sorry. I jumped the gun a bit. So here's the eleventh chapter of an amazing story, if I do say so herself. Please enjoy this psychotic use of my study time!

The grains of endless sand pelted against the faces of the two boys standing outside the airport at the only available phone booth for miles.

Marik wrinkled his nose in distaste. "This phone smells like urine! Egypt has certainly gone downhill since I used to be enslaved here. Bakura, I need a drachma to make this call."

"A drachma? Why the bloody hell would you need one of those? This is Egypt, not Greece. Don't you know your own country from any other?"

"The call is long distance, hair-brain. It can only be made through the payment of one drachma."

"I don't have a drachma," Bakura huffed, kicking a clump of the sand.

Marik sighed. "I thought you were a thief. Can't you just steal one?"

"How many people do you think carry drachmas around on their persons? You'd be more likely to find one laying in the sand than in a person's pocket."

Marik pressed his fist to his chin, a thoughtful look on his otherwise clueless face. He took several deliberate steps into the barren wasteland, stopped, bent over, and disrupted a mound of sand. Something shone below his hand, and Bakura trudged over to scrutinize his find. Marik picked it up and held it out to Bakura, who tilted his head 20 degrees in confusion. "Is that a gravy dish?"

In explanation, Marik rubbed the side of it, and a purple wisp billowed from the spout. Ghost Nappa appeared before them, stretched, and sang, "I'm a genie in a bottle, baby. Gotta rub me the right way –"

"Nope. Not what I wanted," Marik declared, tossing the lamp carelessly behind his shoulder and returning to the pile of sand.

Bakura gaped at him. "Did you really just throw a genie lamp down? We could have wished our bodies apart, you stupid diva."

Marik ignored him, continuing to dig in the sand. Bakura stomped off in the direction he'd thrown the genie. "Aha!" Marik exclaimed at last, thrusting a golden coin into the air. "Bakura, I've found the drachma. Come here so we can be on our way already."

Bakura returned with the genie bottle in hand. "I think I like this alternative much better. You call whoever you need to. Just give me half an hour to write up a contract so this genie can't trick us with any loopholes. Bloody loopholes are what got me into this in the first place." He headed back inside the airport, leaving Marik no choice but to follow him. "But Bakura, the plan was to see the guy Melvin and I know. If we use the genie, we wasted a perfectly good plan. Bakura? Are you even listening to me?"

Bakura put in his ear buds and sat down at a picnic table. He pulled out a pen and paper and began writing out his loophole-less contract with the Ghost Nappa. Marik sat down and laid his head on the table. He soon fell asleep to the sound of pen scratching paper. Bakura looked over and noticed that Marik was unconscious, so he decided to have a little fun with it. He took his ear buds out and stuck one in Marik's ear, then scrolled to the song "Glad You Came [Karaoke Version]" by The Wanted. Grinning malevolently, he set to work on his new project.

In Marik's dream, the realm was black with misty ribbons of purple and small dots of brown that reminded him far too much of Bakura's eyes. Then one winked at him, coaxing him to his knees where suddenly he was on a deep-crimson area rug. A smirking pair of familiar lips appeared below the pair of eyes, followed shortly by the face from all of his dreams. And then Bakura's face began to sing with Bakura's voice:

"Your head goes down.
My face comes out.
And all you know
Is what I say.
Your innocence will never be again.
I said I'd win.

You cannot ignore me, ignore me.
You will do what I ask just for me, just for me.
You know your lack of listening tore me, it tore me.
And now I'll punish you where they can't see, you and me.

Put your hands up now
Now you put them on my face
Face the facts – you won't win
When my sweet embrace
Embraced you around the neck
Necking won't save your hide
Hide your arms in my side
Side with me, I can buy
Buy you happiness."

When Marik woke up, his stomach was quivering and he had the bizarre scent of burning rubber in his nose. He looked over at Bakura, who was dutifully scrawling on the paper as he had been when Marik fell asleep. "How long was I out?" he grumbled as he wiped at his eyes.

"Forty-eight minutes. I'm almost finished with the contract." He wrote three more sentences, blew the ink on his paper dry, and declared, "Perfect. Alright, let's talk to the genie." Bakura banged on the side of the lamp, and Ghost Nappa poured out of the spout once more, holding his head and scowling.

"My ears are ringing. You could be a little more polite, since I'm going to fulfill your wishes and all."

"I just have two wishes," Bakura said, showcasing the sheet of paper. "First and foremost, I have written out my wish in legal terms, which extends to 40 pages. Either you can read this entire document and then fulfill my first wish, or you can be smart and give me exactly what I want when I ask for it in layman's terms. Which is it?"

Ghost Nappa gulped. "Alright, no funny business. Just make your wish."

Bakura nodded. "I wish that Marik and I had separate bodies from my hikari and his yami. Is that sufficient, or should I go further into detail?"

"That's enough. Your wish is granted." He snapped his fingers, and Bakura and Marik doubled over, wailing in agony. Their bodies began to split like cell mitosis until Ryou and Melvin were laying on the floor next to Marik and Bakura. They stood up together, examining each other. Marik pulled out a mirror and checked to make sure he still looked like himself.

Melvin jerked the mirror out of his hand and did the same, laughing in pleasure when he realized his new body was several inches taller than Marik's. He shook out his hair, grinning in the mirror as it stuck out wildly from his scalp. "I'm perfect!" he cackled.

"My own body – I have my body back!" Ryou gushed, jumping about in excitement and giggling like a schoolgirl.

"My other wish," Bakura said to the genie, "is that I wish all of the Egyptian god cards belong to me."

Ghost Nappa snapped his fingers. "They're in your deck in your pocket. Can you wish me free now?"

Bakura cackled ruthlessly. "How stupid do you think I am? I'm not wishing you free. Rot in a jar, you stupid genie."

"I'll wish you free," Ryou volunteered.

"Ryou, NO!" the other three protested, but it was too late. Ghost Nappa clapped his hands with a loud BOOM! and Ryou disappeared in a puff of smoke. Nappa, no longer in ghost form, shot out the door and into the sun with a wild howl of merriment, leaving the lamp on the picnic table without another thought to it.

Melvin cradled the lamp, rubbed it lovingly, and a translucent vision of Ryou emerged from the spout. "What happened?" Ryou asked timidly.

"Ryou, you never wish a genie free," Marik chastised, "When you set one free, you have to take its place. Don't you watch Charmed?"

Ryou shook his head, crumbling to his ghostly tail. Melvin stared at him with despondent eyes. "We'll find a way to get you out, Ryou, I swear." He hugged the rusty lamp to his chest.

Marik fished the drachma out of his pocket and handed it to Melvin. "The guy, remember. He'll know what to do, I bet. Give him a call."

Melvin took the coin gratefully and led them to the pay phone outside the terminal. He slid it into the coin slot and pressed the receiver to his ear. The nasally voice on the other end replied, "No calls are being accepted at this time." The coin shot out of the machine and the dial tone went dead.

A/N: Dun dun DUN!1! Will Melvin be able to rescue Ryou? Will Nappa be brought to justice for what he's done? And will someone please tell me who the heck this guy they know is? Find out in the next chapter of "Bakura Writes A Song."