Disclaimer: Seeing as I am insane and therefore could never legally work with children, kids toys, or other products associated with people younger than I, I must not own Yu-Gi-Oh.

A/N: I don't have anything cleaver to write here tonight, so we'll get straight to the point.

It was 10 am when Ryou awoke and realized he was in the arms of another man; a handsome, bronze guardian-angel of a man, but still a man. Oh, if Kisara found out, he thought to himself, unraveling from Melvin's embrace, I mustn't disappoint the only family that still cares for me. I have to skip town. Silently, Ryou crept across the apartment, inched open the door, and turned to look at his savior sleeping peacefully on the floor one last time before fleeing into the streets.

The click of the door sealing itself did not rouse Melvin, who was having a pleasant dream involving Ryou, bubble wrap, and a hollowed-out refrigerator. However, Marik's horrible screeching voice thirteen minutes later did bring him into full consciousness, and he tore through the den looking for the boy he'd fallen asleep with. When he was sure Ryou wasn't hiding under any of the furniture, he flew into the kitchen and demanded of Marik, "Where is Ryou?!"

Marik jumped, sending the omelet in his frying pan flying into the air and splattering on the low ceiling. Yellow goo rained down between the twins, and Marik side-stepped to avoid getting any in his hair. "How should I know? I was with Bakura all night. He is my boyfriend, not Ryou. Ryou is your boyfriend."

Irrational fury suddenly flared in Melvin's irises, and he barreled into their bedroom. Bakura was standing in front of the wardrobe, the entire back of his naked body in full display for Melvin to see. Melvin immediately shielded his eyes, slamming a hand over his face before demanding, "What have you done with your hikari?"

Bakura shut the wardrobe and laid his clothes out on the bed, yet made no move to put them on. "Why would I bother with him? I have your hikari to amuse me."

Melvin snarled, lashing out blindly with his foot and managing to nail the Brit right in the groin. Bakura howled in pain, going down onto his knees and face-planting into the carpet.

"What's with all the screaming – OH MY RA!" Marik rushed to Bakura's side and stooped over him. He snapped his head around and glared at Melvin, "What did you do?"

"He wouldn't tell me where Ryou is."

"I don't bloody know where he is," Bakura groaned, "He probably ran away from you, and I don't blame him."

"Take it back, you miserable fool!" Melvin roared. "Ryou loves me – I know it."

"Ryou is afraid of you," Bakura continued, pulling himself to his feet. He brushed Marik off and started dressing. "The only reason he pretended to like you is because you gave him his body back. But now that he's all himself, he doesn't need you anymore." He clicked on his old Karaoke machine, which emitted the music to "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga, and began to sing:

"Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance.

Ry-ry-you-ou-ou-ou.
Ryou, Ryou-you-you.
Ra-Ra-ooh-ha-ha.
Gonna regret this.

Ry-ry-you-ou-ou-ou.
Ryou, Ryou-you-you.
Ra-Ra-ooh-ha-ha.
Gonna regret this.

He thinks you're ugly
And that you have flees.
He doesn't want someone
Who laughs when he bleeds.
He wants to run;
Run-run-run, he wants to run.

You killed your father,
Have blood on your hands.
One corny love song and a kiss in the sand
Won't win his love.
Love-love-love –
Can't get his love.
Love-love-love; can't have his love.

You know he can't love you,
So just give up on Ryou.
He's innocent, and you'll ruin that."

Melvin cut in:

"I'll give him love and
Forget the revenge.
Ry and me could have a good romance."
[Bakura]: "No-oh-oh no-oh!"

[Melvin]: "I'll give him love and
Give up on the revenge.
Ry and me could have a good romance.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Give him a good romance.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Give Ry a good romance."

Bakura:

"Ha ha hahaha-a!
Mwaha-mwaha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-mwa-ha-ha!
You call that romance?

Your fav'rite horror
Movie is your life.
You shop for body-bags.
Your pillow's a knife.
Death is your love.
Death-death-death, Death is your love.

You are a psycho;
Ryou is a saint.
Your temper is dangerous;
It makes him faint.
You'll kill his soul.
Soul-soul-soul
His heart and soul.
Kill-kill-kill his heart and soul."

Melvin:

"You're no better than me.
(Don't be such a bitch, Florence.)
And you know I'd care for him.
I love Ry and he loves me.

I have more love than
Ten of you could fake.
You define having a bad romance.
Wo-oh-oh-oh-oh.
If you think love is
What you have with Marik,
I could teach you how to cure your ways.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
You're in a bad romance.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
This is a bad romance."

Marik clicked off the machine abruptly. "This sing-off has been great, but I think I know where Ryou went."

Melvin snapped to attention, completely forgetting Bakura's subplot. "Tell me."

"He probably got home-sick and went down to the pier to stare at the ocean." The two Yami's raised their brows incredulously, so Marik explained himself. "All I know is that whenever I need to clear my head and remember my roots, I take a trip to the docks and stare out across the horizon. I think about Egypt and how I –"

"Don't care," Melvin interrupted him, whirling around and breezing through the door, his cape billowing behind him.

Bakura and Marik watched him leave without a word. They remained silent for a few minutes. Then Marik rushed into the kitchen, yelling, "I left the stove on!"

Bakura picked up the mail Ryou had been nice enough to bring in last night when they returned from their flight. He tore open a bright blue envelope and pulled out two tickets. He threw back his head and cackled loudly. Then he shouted through the kitchen door, "Hey, Marik. Want to go on a cruise?"

A/N: Shout Out to lizy42100 for the inspiration for this chapter, and Shout Out to TheAverIn and kanna-chan94 for suggesting the song.