Chapter Five

So Close, But Still So Far Away

Lilah's POV

There wasn't much space available to me, but that didn't matter. The walls were painted a cheerful yellow color, a warm and mellow shade that seemed to glow. The lively hue was preferable to the dull putty shade that had covered all of the walls in Mary's house, and despite the limited space of my new home I felt much less claustrophobic than I had in hers, I finally felt like I could breathe.

It had been an inevitable change, one that was absolutely necessary for me, even if Mary had been left confused, with hurt feelings and a small measure of bitterness. It was mind-boggling, knowing that she was aware of what Sonny had done, of how he'd stalked and tormented me since I'd moved in, but she'd refused to take my side against his...I guess it's true that blood is thicker than water.

The burn had been the last straw for me and before I'd even left the hospital I'd started searching for a new place to stay. Paul had been such a help, a comfort, to me and he'd been the one who'd found the tiny cottage close to the beach. It was off of the Rez, of course, but it was still close by, and I'd fallen in love with it as soon as I laid eyes on its whitewashed walls and green shuttered windows. It was perfect, and I'd quickly snatched it up, wiping out a good amount of the cash that I'd brought with me. I'd have to find a job as soon as my hand healed, but that was no problem. It would certainly be better than having to slave over a hot stove three times a day, cooking for Mary and Sonny...not to mention everyone else who'd wandered through the door.

"I'm going to go ahead and set your bed up before I leave, Lilah," a deep voice said behind me, as strong, warm hands smoothed along the muscles on my shoulders, muscles that had been tightening up while I thought about Mary, about Sonny, and of the house that I'd just escaped from. "Why don't you come show me which wall I should put it against?"

It should have been unnerving to me, the way that he always knew when my muscles were tense, or when I was hungry, or tired, but it didn't bother me at all. The truth of the matter was that it was nice to have someone who seemed to be so in tune with me, and with what I needed, and wanted. I could tell that he liked me; the only question was how much? Did he like me as much as I liked him, or was it just a general admiration, born from friendship and a desire to help me? It those were the questions that had me keeping my feelings to myself...I had no desire to reveal too much and end up hurt and humiliated.

"You don't have to worry about that," I answered, my face growing red as I imagined Paul...and his hands...his muscles rippling beneath his tight t-shirt...setting up my bed. How would I sleep that night, thinking about that? "I know that you have to get going, and I was going to make you a sandwich before you left."

"I wasn't worried about it at all sweetheart," he said, and I could tell by the sound of his voice that he was smiling. "I'm not in that big of a hurry...I'll still have plenty of time for a sandwich before I leave. You know how I am when it comes to your cooking...but why don't you let me fix it and give that hand a rest, ok?"

My hand was throbbing and calling out for the narcotic pain relief that Dr. Cullen had prescribed for me, but Paul had already been hard at work for most of the day, hanging curtains and scrubbing this and that for me so I wouldn't get my bandage wet. What kind of thanks would that be, for me to make him fix his own sandwich as well? It was funny that I'd resented being forced to cook for Mary and Sonny every day, but with Paul I wanted to feed him, to take care of him...I just felt the need to nurture him for some odd reason.

"You know, I don't expect you to slave from sunup until sundown and then make your own sandwich honey," I answered, knowing that he was expecting the endearment from me. "My hand does hurt, but I have some pretty good meds that Dr. Cullen gave me, and I'm not completely helpless, you know?"

I'd mentioned the handsome doctor knowing full well that it would make Paul jealous, and I wasn't disappointed when he growled softly, down deep in his throat. It was a good thing that he was behind me, following me into the teensy bedroom, the only one in the cottage; because I knew that I had a big, dopey grin on my face. I'm not sure why it tickled me so much to make him growl like that, but it did, and I made him do it as much as I could without really making him mad.

I was fairly sure that I heard him mutter something very uncomplimentary about the doctor under his breath and the grin on my face grew to a point that it was painful. I made a big show of surveying the room when we walked inside, even though I had already decided that I wanted the bed between the two windows that faced toward the beach. I had to have time to wipe the smile off of my face before I turned around, and though it took a lot of effort to do so, I'd managed to rearrange my expression before I faced him.

"That had to have hurt," he said wryly, raising one eyebrow at me, making my lips twitch with the need to smile once more. "Next time it would probably just be easier to keep that big grin on your face instead of going through so much trouble to pretend that you weren't laughing at me."

I could have tried to deny that I'd been laughing at him, but it would have been a waste of my time, because he'd see right through my lie, not to mention the fact that it went against my grain to be dishonest. I smiled in what I hoped was a sheepish manner and pointed to the wall between the windows.

"Right here would work perfectly for me Paul," I said, realizing the moment that the words left my mouth that to label my words as a double-entendre would have been putting it mildly and I felt my face heat and the smile that I'd meant as guilty was now sliding into a grimace of absolute humiliation. "I...I mean...you can put it...well...I mean..."

He let me splutter and blush for a few moments, a smile spreading on his face that was a tantalizing mixture of satisfaction, humor and sensuality, and then he crossed the floor, stopping right in front of me, near enough that I could feel the heat from his body against my chest. He reached out with one hand, placing a roughened fingertip against my lips.

The contrasts of our flesh meeting heightened my awareness of this very large, very warm, very masculine being that was touching me, his hushing fingertip becoming a soft caress on my lips, making me want in the worst way to kiss against that touch.

"Hush now sweetheart," he murmured, looking deeply into my eyes, giving me that old feeling that he was looking all the way to my heart and soul. "There's no need for you to get so upset...I knew the meaning of your words. I won't pretend that I wouldn't have loved for you to have meant something else...but I knew exactly what you meant to say, ok?"

I couldn't say what made me behave so impulsively, but suddenly I knew that I wouldn't be able to resist the urge any longer and I kissed the fingertip grazing across my lips, holding the digit still by grabbing hold of the back of his hand, pressing my mouth once, twice, then a third time before I released him. The room had grown deathly quiet, filled only with the sounds of our breathing and I stared up into the fathomless eyes peering down at me, suddenly shy and self-conscious.

He slowly pulled his hand away, his chest rising and falling with the rapid speed of his breathing, a gamut of emotions passing across his face, his eyes traveling from mine to my lips and I was seized by the knowledge that he was considering kissing me...a real kiss...and a moment later that epiphany was replaced by the fact that I wanted that more than anything in the world.

He reached out with both of his hands and cupped my face, his thumbs tracing along my cheekbones. "I want to do this Lilah," he whispered pleadingly. "I need to do this."

I wasn't sure if he meant to ask my permission, or if he was simply giving me an advance warning, but whatever his meaning I answered by raising myself up onto my tiptoes, running my hands along his shoulders, into his thick black hair. He placed his own hands on my waist, one on each side, and slowly lowered his head, his lips inches away from mine-

"Well shit," he suddenly growled, raising his head to glare out of the window, taking me completely by surprise with the change in the atmosphere and his less than romantic words. "Talk about perfect freakin' timing."

It was then that I heard what sounded like the howling of a wolf, or more accurately, of several wolves. I couldn't understand why that would capture his attention, but it did and with a sound that was a cross between a groan of disappointment and a snarl of frustration he released his hold on me, placing his forehead against mine, breathing deeply.

"I know that this timing sucks nuts sweetheart," he said, rubbing his head back and forth before rubbing his cheek against mine in a caress. "But I've got to get going right now. I know I promised to get the bed done, but-"

I should have been furious, or at the very least irritated, but I'd known that he was on a schedule since he'd arrived earlier in the day. That and I could tell that he was very annoyed, and frustrated, himself, and I didn't want to make him feel any worse than he already did.

"I'm sure that I can stand one night sleeping on the couch," I told him, turning to rush from the room, calling back over my shoulder. "Just let me get you a sandwich and then you can go, ok?"

I wasn't sure whether he answered me or not, I was in too big of a hurry to get his sandwich made, slicing a ham and quickly assembling not one, but two humongous sandwiches, dropping them into a sack with four snack sized bags of chips and a thermos of lemonade.

I turned to find him watching me, a small smile curving his lips; the kind that I was quickly learning made me weak in the knees. I walked up to him and handed him the bag, my hand lingering on his, and I was taken aback once more by the differences in our temperatures...he put a whole new spin on the idea of a guy who was absolutely "hot".

"Thanks sweetheart," he murmured, taking the bag, his fingers tracing along the back of my hand. "Be sure to make yourself a sandwich and take your pills. I'll be back bright and early tomorrow morning to set up that bed and whatever else needs to be done...there's no need for you to make a habit of sleeping on that couch, is there?"

Damn but he was bossy...not that I really minded all that much. It was nice to know that I had someone watching over me, worrying about me. I walked him to the door, smiling as he lifted the sack of food to his nose and breathed deep, sighing appreciatively.

"Oh...make sure that you lock this door after me," he said, reaching out to trail the back of his fingers down my cheek. "You've got to be careful of...predators...out here by yourself."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him, I also managed to fight back the impulse to answer him with a "Sir, yes, sir" or a "Yes, daddy". Of course, now that I thought about it, either of those responses would have no doubt thrilled him. In the end I made do with "I will honey...don't worry about me so much. I can take care of myself, you know."

"I never doubted it for a minute," he answered, turning to run away into the night. "But you also have to understand...it's my pleasure to take care of you Lilah."

Paul's POV

There were parts of my life that I usually loved, being able to run so fast, being super strong and having a rapid healing rate, the rush of adrenaline that filled me when we were hot on a trail, but I had to say, that since I met her, you know, the one, the commitments and responsibilities downright...well...they just sucked. How was I supposed to make any progress with Lilah when just as I was getting to the good part I got called away?

The crimson haired parasite was back in the area...no doubt here to finish off a certain leech lover, which said a lot for why Jacob was having an emotional breakdown at the moment. Sheesh...when was he going to see, and acknowledge, that Bella Swan would no more think of him in that way than she would any of us? Like it or not, she was all hot and bothered over Cullen, God only knew why, and she wasn't about to drop him for anybody, least of all for Jacob...but that sure didn't stop him from hoping, did it?

Embry and Quil had been running patrol when they caught the scent of the bloodsucker. Sam had wanted them to wait for him, but Jacob, being the obsessive and overly dramatic little girl that he was had insisted that we set out on the trail, worried sick that the Cullen's weren't watching Bella, yadda, yadda and so we set off on the fresh trail, all but drooling at the idea of biting into some leech flesh. Of course, the others could have also been salivating because they'd caught a whiff of the ham sandwiches I'd devoured on the way to finding them, something that they moaned and bitched about plenty, because I hadn't brought enough to share...damn...what a bunch of whiners.

The whole time that we were running my mind, and those of my brothers, were filled with Jacob's yammering on about Bella and how she could be hurt, how much she meant to him, and that he'd die if anything bad happened to her, and it wasn't long before I was tempted to gouge out my eardrums in self-defense.

Shit Jake...enough is enough already. It was your idea to take off without Sam, which is going to mean that our asses will be good and chewed once he catches up with us, but is it really necessary that you subject us to this melodramatic tale of woe as well?

The others had a good laugh at that one, but, as usual, Jacob failed to see the humor in my comment. Did he really think that he was the only one with problems? This chick wasn't even the other half of his heart and soul for chrissakes. I'd been right there, in that tiny bedroom, her hands around my neck, her sweet and soft in all the right places body snuggled up against me, just waiting for me to kiss her when-

I broke off that train of thought quickly, but not quite quickly enough. Quil and Embry slowed their speed until they were right beside me, turning to look at me expectantly.

Well jeez...don't stop now...you were just getting to the good part. Were her nipples really sticking through her t-shirt like that, or were you just embellishing that part?

Freakin' Embry...I would be so grateful when, or more likely, if, he ever managed to get himself a woman of his own. Maybe then he wouldn't be so obsessed with the love lives of those around him. I ignored him, of course, quickening my pace to run with Jacob. He may have been an irritating son of a bitch, but at least he wouldn't be imagining my Lilah...or her nipples, for that matter.

We'd been moving at top speed, but the redhead managed to cross the treaty line before we caught up with her and that's when we noticed the Cullen's on their side of the border, running at top speed after our quarry. Jacob searched their group feverishly, though I don't know why he'd think that Bella would be with them, and for that matter, her bloodsucker wasn't amongst their ranks either, so it would appear that all of his worrying had been over nothing.

We spread out in the hopes that she'd cross back over to our side; we sure as hell hadn't come all this way to watch one group of leeches capture another and deal with her, not when that was our job dammit. We were traveling too far south, but then the Cullen's did us a favor and chased her back to our side just a few miles north of us. It would have been the perfect spot for us to launch an ambush, if we'd only known where to place ourselves, but we didn't.

Sam had finally made his appearance, bringing with him reinforcements, and caught up to the bloodsucker before we did. We joined up and chased her, watching as she danced from side to side, playing with us, then with the Cullen's, and I growled deep in my throat as I missed snapping hold of her by less than an inch.

Suddenly the big beast of a Cullen dived for her, but she was too fast for him and he sailed right behind her, and the idiot damn near smacked into me as he landed in the icy creek, making me see red. It was bad enough that we had to have a freakin' treaty with a coven of leeches, or that we respected their territory and all of that bullshit, but now I was expected to just forgive and forget, after an infraction like that?

I lost my focus on the redhead and turned my pursuit to the bearish Cullen, springing toward him, intent on tearing out his throat. In the end I missed him, which was pathetic, but was probably also fortunate, and the blond chick, the one that would have been hot, if she hadn't been a damn parasite, got very defensive. Normally I wouldn't think about laying hands on a female in a violent way, but this was a female leech, so those rules went right out the window.

Sam and Jacob flanked me, offering a united front, and were met by the two blond males, their hands raised, hoping to offer a truce. A sudden calm came over me, which made me want to react even more aggressively, but damned if I could. The lead male, the doctor that had treated Lilah, started to speak to Sam, doing his best to smooth things over. The other male continued to look at the pack, one by one, and we grew calm, we couldn't fight his mind, and our respective leaders decided that the redhead was the priority, not them and not us, and we started after her again, each of our groups on the side that belonged to us.

The doctor gave us the line of scent, holding his group back so that we could follow her properly, but we lost her north of the Makah country, right where the line hugs the coast. It was obvious that she'd taken refuge in the water, the one place where our noses wouldn't be worth a damn. The behemoth and the calming one asked permission to follow her, and I grinned to myself when Sam told them no...damned interfering ticks.

We parted ways, both sides pissed that the bitch had gotten away, but I reasoned that she'd be back, giving us another chance at shredding her. It was obvious that she had a hard-on for Bella Swan, a hunger that wouldn't be going away anytime soon, so the opportunity to rid the world of her presence wouldn't be lost to us forever.

I trotted along with my brothers, thinking that I'd grab a little sleep and then I'd get back to my Lilah, but my plans were hampered by Sam's massive shoulder knocking against mine, making me stumble, an action that he repeated with Jacob, and then with Quil, and finally Embry.

I ought to string you up, one by one, as an example for everyone for what happens when you don't heed an order. This pack needs strong numbers to fight, but what it doesn't need is four hotheaded jackasses who go off halfcocked whenever you damn well please. Bearing that in mind, I've decided that you boys seem to be in need of a little exercise. I'd say that a...let's see...twenty mile run ought to cover it, so get to it.

Ah man...this was absolute bullshit. I could have wasted my time, arguing that it had been Jacob's idea, but I knew that it would have been useless. I was going to be running twenty miles, I wasn't going to get much sleep...but that wasn't going to stop me from seeing Lilah, was it?