Disclaimer: I'm too busy not having a work ethic to have written Yu-Gi-Oh.

A/N: This is the last chapter. Indulge, enjoy, and read the not-so-subtly-tied-together sequel "Your Cruise Ship Plays Card Games in Hell."

"Hey, Bakura," Marik began as he was closing his suitcase in preparation for the cruise, "How do you feel about song parodies?"

"Ra dammit, I thought we were finished with this nonsense," Bakura growled, throwing his knife down on the desk with a metallic clang.

"You've only yourself to blame, Fluffy," Marik defended, pulling up YouTube, "If you had finished my 'Boyfriend' song parody, we wouldn't even be in this crummy apartment. We would've been on that cruise ship casting off in about an hour. But if we hurry, we can still make it, so –" Marik was interrupted by his mobile phone, which he pulled out of his pocket and answered with an irritated, "Whose world needs destroying now?" He fell silent for a total of three seconds, then snapped, "Screw you, Ishizu!" and snapped his flip phone shut. He tossed it in a drawer and returned to Bakura, "Now, pay attention; I worked very hard on this."

"As I've been reminded every time I try to listen to this," Bakura sighed, watching Marik scroll through YouTube until he found his parody. Marik clicked on the video and then sat down on the bed, watching his boyfriend intently to gauge his reaction. As before, Bakura listened to the first and second verses with mild nostalgia tinged with irritation. Marik-in-the-video finished the part that had gotten them in all this deathshipping trouble, and continued with the following:

"I'd like to be anyone you want.
Bakura, I'm gay for you.

If I was your boyfriend, glomp you in the snow.
Break the fourth wall with you, or kill Yugi Moto.
I can be your worst nightmare, if you're into that.
If I was your boyfriend, I'd eff you on a boat, I'd eff you on a boat.

Let's wear leather pants cuz you'd look hot in them.
Or we could go naked since you look hotter without them.
Let's be vampires (let's be vampires) , kill all the smelly girls
As long as you only suck me-e."

Suddenly, the power went off and the computer shut down. "Oh, for Ra sake!" Marik cried in frustration. He crossed his arms and huffed, "Is the world conspiring against me, or something? This is the third time you haven't finished the song."

"And I never will," Bakura declared, grabbing Marik's arm and their suitcase. "We're going to miss the cruise if we don't leave now, and I'm not missing out on this perfect opportunity to screw with Melvin and Ryou's relationship."

"Fluffy, why are you so insistent on torturing them? What did they ever do to you?"

Bakura smirk, an evil glint flashing like flames across his eyes. "I just want to watch the world burn." That said, he pulled his lover out of the apartment, down the stairs, and away toward the cruise ship.

Minutes after they'd sailed away on their cruise ship headed for victory (and snow cones), the power came back on, and Marik's song parody finally finished itself:

"If I was your boyfriend (boyfriend), put you on my show.
Take you on a cruise, boy, my sister booked for us (sister booked for us).
I will wash your armpits and (armpits and) suck on your big toe.
If I was your boyfriend (boyfriend) and you finished this song, I would marry you."

But alas, Bakura would never finish the song, and so would never marry Marik.

The End

A/N: After careful consideration, I may recant that last sentence.

P.S.: Read "Your Cruise Ship Plays Card Games In Hell" because it is the unofficial sequel. Sadly, there will be more deathshipping than thiefshipping in it. Gladly, there will also be more snow cones. And in the end, isn't that what really matters?