Chapter 18
Sachiko Kirihara hated to be watched.
Not always. When the best student in class actually knew that someone wanted to look at her, or when it was the case of a theatrical performance, being observed felt like heaven. For Sachiko, there was nothing more enjoyable and pleasurable than to stand in a neon-illuminated stage and become someone else, garlanded in exquisite costumes. The girl saw her undeniably good performances in acting class as an escape from the hardships of the world, a safe activity where no one judged her for what she looked like or her ideals.
But when someone was watching without her permission, the rules changed - fast.
Sachiko was a mentally healthy girl, and certainly not paranoid or delusional. However, being stalked or hearing others talking behind her back severely messed with her emotions. In a matter of instants, the once wise and capable class representative could turn into a frightened, fragile chicken, resenting the world around her as if the doors and windows had eyes. Red, piercing eyes, able to read Sachiko's mind and know all of her moves while staying several steps ahead of her.
It was exactly what happened with him. Sachiko did not remember his name anymore. Sometimes, she still remembered how his voice was like, or how much unshaved facial hair he had. Sachiko erased those memories soon after they took hold; it wasn't necessary to remember him. She did not want to.
However, what happened on those nightmarish weeks of their brief relationship would never be forgotten. He was two years older than Sachiko, a junior from another school who briefly participated in the "Hamlet" high school play. He did not even have a role; he was hired because of his ability to work on stage crafts. It was important to contract boys from other schools during the plays, as the all-female cast from Tsuchihara did not have the necessary strength to perform several tasks.
Sachiko approached him on a certain day, more out of boredom than anything else. Surprisingly, he proved himself to be more interesting than she thought, and relatively smart for a guy who looked like a stereotypical jock. Sachiko decided to make some moves on him, because after all glasses do not make a person shy. They hit it off completely and started dating. It was nothing serious, though; just a couple of kisses, some holding of hands and hangouts on Saturday nights. Sachiko wanted him because she wanted a boyfriend, and not because she had felt anything special for him.
Much like what fatefully happens with relationships like this, they broke up shortly afterwards. The reasons were many: he was annoying, he pressured her, he was boring, didn't have good conversations, and was a jerk most of the times. Even though he never properly said it, Sachiko knew that, for him, she was no different.
Why didn't he accept it, then?
At first, everything seemed better after he vanished from his ex-girlfriend's life. Sachiko quickly got used to being single again, avoided talking about him much, and saw her own life as complete even without a boyfriend. Until one day, a week later, when he started showing up at Tsuchihara's main gate. At first, he only watched Sachiko in the background and did not do anything. He was there to be a shadow, trying to elicit some reconciliation from the girl by making her unable to ignore him. Sachiko, though, not even looked at him in the face. Whatever happened happened, what was done was done.
As the days went by, he started to show up at her school more often, and to constantly ask her to go back to him. Sachiko looked at him in the eyes and politely refused, as her independent and responsible spirit refused itself to be forced to do something. He begged, yelled at her, and even cried once. But Sachiko remained inflexible. She had no idea of the lengths he would go to get her back.
Soon, the model student's cell phone was invaded by text messages coming from him. They all asked her to come back, some more threateningly than others. Sachiko never told about them to anyone, not even her friends. It was too dangerous to get them involved in her turbulent love life, and the easy option to delete messages became a routine for her. After coming back from school, Sachiko opened her phone, checked the new messages from him and instantly deleted them after reading.
Until he started calling her a whore by cell phone, and death threatened her if she kept refusing to go back to him.
Horrified, Sachiko slowly began to fear the moment when she saw him after school. He became a spectrum of disgrace, bringing rain and thunder on an otherwise sunny, quiet day. His stalker behavior quickly got worse, and he started to follow his ex on the streets. She tried not to look back at him, but always surrendered and did. His face, one of mad anger, frustration and jealousy, haunted Sachiko's worst nightmares and would always continue to.
The peak came on a Sunday when Sachiko went to a non-alcoholic bar and saw a good childhood friend of hers sitting there. She did not see him since fifth grade, and was actually surprised about how handsome he turned out to be. The two friends sat by a table and started chatting for several minutes. For a while, Sachiko forgot that her ex was coming after her. It always happened, but she still foolishly believed that he wouldn't do it on that day. She was wrong.
Sachiko's ex was on her friend instantly, punching someone he did not even know like a typical high school bully. The other boy tried to react, but it was like a sheep fighting a bull. All the sports her ex did at school made him an immensely strong boy, and he showed it. Soon, Sachiko's friend face was as red as a tomato, making the girl realize that she had dated a monster for three weeks and did not know it. Weakly trying to stop him, Sachiko jumped on her former boyfriend's back and scratched his face with her nails.
However, he was obviously stronger, and effortlessly threw her on the floor. As the girl cried in pain, he started to brutally pull her long hair and to slap her in the face, saying that she was a worthless piece of shit, an ungrateful slut, and that she deserved to die. Sachiko's eyes watered as her face bruised instantly. Luckily for her, the barman called the police soon after the fight started, and the cops came after Sachiko had endured a few minutes of abuse. They arrested that horrible man, and Sachiko went home on that day crying and massaging her wounded face. Her soul was muddled forever, though: after that incident, the girl never felt safe while alone on the streets, or trusted the guys in the play's audience who complimented her performances.
In The Program, Sachiko was lying on her bedroom's right-sided bed, her legs stretched like a ballerina's and her glasses slightly crooked in her face. She was reading a book, but only superficially; her mind was still on him, filled with remorse for not telling her friends of the abuse when she had the chance. For not calling the police before and allowing it all to happen.
"He's probably watching me right now. Laughing of my actions here with all the bandits he met in jail, making rude jokes about me and my friends, betting on when and how I'm going to die. They are all watching me through that camera on the wall."
For Sachiko, the cameras everywhere looked like open doors to hell. The world was watching them, cheering for their demise and lustfully observing their bodies. The fact of that year's class being composed only by girls only made things worse. There was a camera in the bathroom, near the shower. All around Japan, men of all ages saw her naked and then jerk-…
It was better not to think about it.
The book Sachiko found herself reading was William Golding's The Lord of the Flies. Being the only book in the shelf, the controversial and violent masterpiece was the only choice Sachiko had. Was its presence there only a coincidence? Of course not.
"They want us to read this. They want to get us influenced by it, in order to make us kill each other faster. And this is going to happen, sooner or later." Sachiko had read that book enough times to know what it was about. A group of young boys find themselves alone in an island, and their distance from civilization slowly turns them into savages and monsters, mercilessly murdering each other while no longing being different from the animals around them. It was a perfect book, though extremely depressing. "This is exactly what is going to happen to us." As she remembered scenes from the book, a strange heat filled Sachiko's head and her heart started beating faster.
But something would be different than the book. At the end of the story, the boys were rescued by a ship. The same wouldn't happen to the girls. Only one would live.
Sachiko had long ago stopped to believe in things such as unconditional love and infinite trust, and her relationship with that bandit only reinforced her opinions. However, she wasn't yet prepared to have her views tested. Suddenly losing her trust in her own friends wasn't something Sachiko thought about, and killing anyone was a barbarity in the girl's eyes. The girls who shared the apartment were all good people, and none of them would join the game so fast.
"Let's see, Rin is a good leader, she's probably thinking of something by now. She's also great on everything she does, so we'll have no problem as long as she protects us. Hitomi and Hana are a bit too dumb and vain- but heck, they are still my friends! And Kagura… Kagura is a bit unstable, but she's a really sweet girl. I also don't think that she would really hurt someone, she might even try but her conscience will pull her back. Or so I hope."
Sachiko slowly released the book from her hands and rose up her back. The book sunk softly into the mattress, sounding like a rock being thrown in the water. While Sachiko moved her body, her arms, legs and back snapped so much that they seemed to be breaking. The long time Sachiko spent on the same position was taking its toll on her.
Before she could leave the bed completely, Sachiko heard strange sounds coming from the locked bathroom door. Kagura's time in the shower had long ago stopped, and now Sachiko could hear her angry, disjointed mumbling more clearly.
"Kagura, what's wrong? Did something happen?"
No reply. The door remained closed and rigid. Kagura's mumbling got even louder, and now Sachiko could hear some of it. Worry filling her chest, the girl with glasses positioned her ear on the wooden surface of the door, in order to hear more.
"Die… they'll…I… die…" Sachiko could feel the anger, the hatred Kagura felt while saying that. There was something wrong with her friend, it was now completely certain. Kagura was supposed to already be out of the bathroom. Was she going insane?
"No. I can't let this happen." Raising her delicate right hand upwards, Sachiko knocked it several times against the door, yelling loudly, hoping for her friend to listen:
"Kagura,open this door! Open it, please! I just wanna talk!"
The hateful words being uttered on the other side of the door stopped. For a few seconds, there was only silence. But Sachiko did not feel any relief. What if she made Kagura even angrier, and was about to get attacked by her? Sachiko did not know what Kagura's weapon was, but at least her own was excellent. A bulletproof vest, which the girl with glasses wore under her uniform shirt.
Kagura wasn't afraid of her friend. She suddenly turned the lock and opened the door in front of Sachiko.
Kagura had never been an attractive girl, but at that moment she could not be worse. Her cheeks were red with crying, and the acne that covered her face made things even worse. Her hair was disheveled and would form beautiful curves, if they were not so disproportional and messy. Kagura had been sweating a lot and seemed to be very frightened. Also, Sachiko knew her friend enough to decipher the girl's facial expressions. Right now, everything she saw In Kagura was pure guilt, surprise, and fear. The beginning of insanity.
"Kagura! Come here on the bed, please!" Beginning to panic, Sachiko wrapped her arms around her friend and started to drag her towards the bed. Kagura was dressed only in a red towel, up to her overweight shoulders. She had been crying and talking to herself in the bathroom stall for several minutes, and Sachiko was stupid enough not to notice it.
It was time to help her.
After being hugged by Sachiko, Kagura became as quiet as a frozen doll. Losing her hysteria, she carefully obeyed her friend and lied down, allowing Sachiko to see the ugly birthmark she had on her legs. Sachiko, on the other hand, decided that it was time to talk. If she decided to remain in silence, Kagura could only get worse overtime. However, she wanted to sound friendly and not like a teacher or a parental figure. Although Sachiko was a great student, she disliked many of her teachers.
"Kagura, talk to me. We've had this conversation before, but t did not work. What's bothering you?" Kagura took a long time to reply, but when she did, her voice was hoarse and low.
"Nothing…"
"Don't say that!" Yelled Sachiko to her friend. She might have sounded rude, but the truth needed to be known. "I heard you talking to yourself in the bathroom. Don't lie to me, Kagura. I know that it's something."
After hearing Sachiko's honest words, Kagura was overwhelmed by sadness. She started crying again, blurring her vision with her own tears. Even though she was already fourteen, Kagura could be easily mistaken by a baby crying for his mom.
"I feel like… I feel like I'm drowning. I'm going to die soon, and you will to. We can't do anything about it… anything… We're all going to sink beneath the waves, very soon." Touched by the girl's words, Sachiko started crying as well. She agreed on everything Kagura said. Their newfound stability in that apartment wasn't permanent. Sooner or later, they would realize that hunting was better than building, begin to fear The Beast, and finally turn against each other. The fact that they were girls and best friends would not change anything.
"Is that everything? This is why you are so scared?" Sachiko wasn't entirely convinced. She saw the anger in Kagura's eyes and voice, something of a murderous rage. There was more to it, and she had to know it.
"…Yes." Answered Kagura. Despite her distrust, Sachiko still considered Kagura a friend, and did not believe that she would lie to her. Kagura had studied together with Sachiko several times, was always her talking pal in the cafeteria, and went to the movies with her very often. She was someone to trust.
"Kagura, I think that what you really need is some rest. It's already 8 pm, and Hitomi is guarding us now. You haven't slept so far, it's much better to do it. What do you think?"
"I don't need to. I'm not sleepy, I'm fine." Before Sachiko could say something, Kagura got up and went towards her closet. The apartment they were in had some female clothes for them, probably from the previous owners of the place. Kagura opened the closet with nervous hands, bending down and grabbing what she was going to wear for the night: a pink nightgown, with a Hello Kitty stamp on it. It was slightly smaller than her size, but it would fit.
"I'm gonna have some fresh air on the living room. I just want some time for myself. Don't follow me." As she said those words, Kagura undressed quickly, although Sachiko looked at the wall so as not to see her naked. Kagura was overweight and dumpy in appearance, so even if there were boys in the place, they wouldn't exactly like what they saw.
However, Sachiko still had questions to answer. What was Kagura thinking? What was wrong with her? And most of all, how would they survive?
After Kagura left the room, Sachiko looked at The Lord of The Flies, still lying on the wet bed.
Without hesitating, Sachiko grabbed the book and threw it on the wall.
Wake up. Breakfast. School. Voleyball. Ballet. Shooting target. Home. Hear Dad's complains. Sleep. On weekends, hang out.
This was Rin Tosaba's routine.
Living room. Fridge. Glass of water. Juice. Drinking it.
Fast and mechanical, just like her life was.
The girl was extremely tired. After guarding the window with her shotgun for five hours , stopping only to go to the bathroom or to eat something quickly, she felt more than willing to let her friend Hitomi Nara take her place. The vain girl had the second best weapon in that apartment, a Colt.45 pistol. That was, if Sachiko Kirihara's and Kagura Soga's weapons were not taken into consideration. Rin had no idea whatsoever of what their weapons were, but was sure that Hana Nozaki, the other girl she shared her bedroom with, had a useless plastic bag as her weapon.
"Rin, could you help me here?" Hitomi's baby-like voice dominated the room. "I don't know how to hold this… this thing."
Rin shrugged silently. If there was someone who would never be able to fire a weapon properly, this person was Hitomi. Not that the girl was stupid, even though Rin had to admit that she wasn't one of the smart kids in class. But Hitomi, much like Hana, was extremely fragile and whiny. She was the type of girl who screams after seeing a cockroach and refuses to go to a party after breaking a nail. Not many people out there were betting on her for The Program's winner.
"Well, I'm probably somebody they believe is going for the win." Rin slightly reprimanded herself for being arrogant, but only slightly. The girl was sure that she had strong chances of winning. She had good reflexes and physical strength, due to the ballet lessons and volleyball practices she went to. Her father's constant pressure for perfect grades also made her very smart, able to make decisions quickly and to see other's true intentions behind their faces. Not to mention the boring shooting classes she had to take, which at least got her more experience with heavy firearms, like the shotgun she carried in her arms.
Most parents would view Rin's father as a lunatic, for overburdening his daughter's routine so much. Rin would partially agree with them, but also understand her own situation. She was required to do sports at school: volleyball did the job well. When she was younger, she wanted to be a ballerina, something that her father took very seriously and placed her in ballet classes with the loads of money he had. They were long and excruciating, but Rin danced anyway for fear of his reaction. And finally, it came to the shooting. Although it was a somewhat exaggerated belief, Shigehiko feared that his daughter would one day be selected for The Program. For him, training with firearms would help her to survive. He only sent Rin to an All-Girls school because one-sex schools were never selected for The Program.
It didn't stop Rin from being chosen to kill all of her classmates. And unless she won, she would never become a ballerina or a good volleyball player. How would he feel, if only he knew that all of his efforts were futile?
"I'm coming Hitomi." Rin tried to forget about her father. He wasn't there to protect her, and it wasn't the time to pretend that he was. Making a rigid pose and trying to sound as cool and smart as possible, Rin came to Hitomi and gently took the gun from her hands.
The weapon felt heavy and cold, exposing the destructive power hidden within it. That pistol was excellent, and the girl knew enough about firearms to be sure that, even though it was no match for her own shotgun, it would do the guarding job quite well. However, its user would need some skill to aim and control the bullets, and Hitomi did not have it. Hell, she did not even know how to hold the gun.
"Alright, Hitomi. It's like this." Holding the gun in front of her friend's face, Rin clutched the heavy weapon and held it properly: one hand on the trigger, the other one on the bottom of the pistol. For someone with no experience like Hitomi, it was better to fire it with both hands.
"Do you get it now?" Rin asked, and Hitomi shook her head affirmatively. "Now do it."
Hitomi grabbed her gun back and held it the way it should be. She did it so quickly that Rin started to wonder if her friend really did not know it or if she was just pretending. It could have been the case; maybe Hitomi wanted to tell her something and used it as an excuse. Rin's sharp thinking and her overall knowledge of the vain girl told her that Hitomi was capable of doing everything to get attention.
"You know, I think you should be on watch for less time than me. I mean, one more hour, and then I come back." If someone attacked while Hitomi was at the window, she would probably get shot in the forehead before shooting the other girl back.
"Really…" Hitomi said, her tanned face infantilizing itself quickly. "So you do not trust me?"
"Of course I do, Hitomi." Rin smiled as naturally as a spider smiles to a fly. "I just want you to survive and not get into trouble. You don't have to worry about it, trust me."
"Alright." Hitomi smiled back, giggling and blushing slightly. She seemed to be renewed by joy, cheerfully pointing the gun outside. Rin, though, walked away from her and sat on the living room couch, reflecting.
She had lied to one of her friends for the first time. She did not trust Hitomi. Nor Hana. Nor any of them.
Rin had such a large friendship circle at school that made her weekends just as busy as her school days. She was always with them or her boyfriend Koichi, hanging out, going to concerts or just gossiping loudly in the park. And yet, she saw past their giggling faces, and could see more interest than genuine kindness there. Rin had to be smart to survive through high school, she had always been told so by her father. She had learned it the hard way a few months before The Program.
"Hey, Rin!" A soft and melodic voice yelled at the girl, getting closer quickly. Rin turned her head.
Kagura stood in the hallway, looking just as unattractive as always. She seemed scared and tiny, even though she was overweight. Her face was red from acne and tears, and she looked like someone who does not take a shower regularly. Her pink nightgown also made her seem childish and ridiculous. Still, Rin enjoyed Kagura's company and presence, and viewed her as some of the few people in class she could trust. The girl's voice was magnificent, often causing Rin to blush in a midst of amazement and even some envy. Besides, her sweet and tender personality never seemed forced or fake. Even though Rin did not talk to her that much, having Kagura around made her happy.
And right now, Rin was certain that Kagura had something very important to say. Something bad.
"Rin… come with me." Without asking for permission, Kagura grabbed Rin's left arm strongly and pulled her out of the couch. Rin would normally protest, but all words disappeared from her throat soon after she looked at Kagura. The unattractive girl's eyes were a mask of worry and fear. Was she being bullied by Hana or Sachiko?
"I have something very important to tell you." It was clear that Kagura did not want to be heard. She was whispering instead of talking.
Paralyzed by surprise and her own fertile imagination, Rin was dragged by the arm from the living room to the kitchen, after passing through an open Japanese door. In any other moment, that kitchen would look clean and lovely. After Kagura closed the door shut, it was terrifying. The room was dark and poorly furnitured, and the shadows from the window made it a very eerie place. "If she decides to kill me here, it will be a while until someone finds my body." ,Thought the rich girl as her blood turned into ice.
"Alright. We're safe now." Continued Kagura, with the same look on her face.
Rin got enough of it. If Kagura wanted to say something, she would have to say it quickly. The way she talked was extremely suspicious, as if she wanted to give Rin some suspense.
"If you want to tell me something…" Said Rin, determined and slightly angry. "Do it right now. I don't have the time to listen to something useless."
"I think Hitomi and Hana are plotting against you." As soon as Kagura was finished, red flames consumed Rin's body and mind. She already knew that it would be bad, but not something that bad. If Kagura was right, the threat was coming from the inside. From the ones she called her friends.
"How do you know?" Suddenly, Rin became just as frightened as Kagura. She wanted to push the uglier girl and accuse her of lying, but she had to listen to the complete story first.
"Earlier today, while you were with your weapon over there, I heard some mumbling coming from your bedroom. I wanted to know what it was, so I heard everything from the door." Kagura's face darkened and she started losing her balance. "God, I shouldn't have done that!"
"And what did they say? What?"
"They said that they hated you." Kagura's gaze burned through her friend's soul. "They say that, as soon as they found you unprotected, without your weapon and alone, they would team up and shoot you down. And them…" Kagura began to bawl. "They will do the same to me… and Sachiko."
The possibility of Kagura to be lying vanished from Rin's quick thinking. She was way too convincing, and probably saying the truth. The ones she could not trust, the ones who were lying to her, the ones who wanted her dead… they were those two.
Rin never really trusted them. The rich girl knew that she was popular, but popularity does not bring real friendship. She was certain of it since Miyako, a girl from class B who used to be her best friend , betrayed her by stealing her boyfriend. Not Koichi, the one she had before him. She made some moves on him before, but Rin did not notice it. Miyako was a good friend, and was probably only doing it for fun. Until Rin's boyfriend told her that he did not want her anymore, and all of a sudden, he stopped talking to her. On the next day, Rin saw her boyfriend and Miyako from behind a tree. They were kissing.
Rin was so humiliated that she wanted to kill that bitch. The next day, she slapped Miyako in the school hallway as soon as she saw her. The pain made the other girl confess everything. That she had never been friends with Rin and only wanted her boyfriend, gracefully accompanied by some of the worst foul language Rin had ever heard. It did not stop Rin from calling Miyako a bitch, or slapping her again. On that day, the rich girl went home crying, and her father almost beat her up after she told him what happened. For him, she "allowed herself to be weak and stupid."
And now the same thing was happening again. Two false friends this time. Two bitches. No, it would not be the same as before. Rin would win the fight, and make her father proud. She had the shotgun, the best weapon. She could shoot and kill them easily. And finally, she would w-
No, that wasn't right.
Rin's eyes moved back to Kagura. Even though she was nice and bright, the ugly duckling was one of the most mysterious people Rin had ever know. Kagura rarely showed her feelings, and endured her years of bullying without crying, cold as a rock. She only opened up to Sachiko, and no one else. If she was lying, she wouldn't be able to fake it.
But still, that was wrong. The Program, the killing, the destruction… it wasn't supposed to be like that. Right now, Rin should be at her shooting classes. And as always, her dad would watch her in silence, while her teacher clapped. How were they feeling right now? Maybe her dad was crying for her. Maybe…
"I'll think about it. But I promise you. When I become sure that they want to kill us, I'll kill them. Alright?"
Kagura made a small, crooked smile with her lips. Then she opened the kitchen door and left the small room, her steps echoing in the hall.
Rin remained where she was for a very long time. She was in shock. Before that conversation, girl still had hopes to survive The Program and to trust her friends until the end. All of a sudden, this possibility ceased to exist.
With her hands trembling, Rin slowly dropped the heavy shotgun to the floor and stared at a wall. Her mind was filled with uncertainty. What would she do now? During all of her life, Rin was told by her father and pretty much everyone else that she would always have to know the right answers, to solve her problems quickly, and to be perfect both as a student and as a teenager. In spite of the pressure and her lack of trust in her friends, it all had been extremely easy.
What would her father think?
He would probably be disappointed, as his daughter made a mistake. If she had studied Kagura's facial expressions for a little longer, Rin would have known that her "friend" had lied to her.
Some tragedies occur spontaneously, out of the blue, all of a sudden.
Others are foretold, slowly walking their cold steps towards the inevitable, shocking conclusion.
Kagura Soga wasn't a fan of tragedies. With a life as messed up as the one she had, watching them on movies, plays or television would only make her more and more depressed. The girl preferred to watch comedies, things that would make her laugh and forget about school. The pleasure of feeling joy, though, was temporary.
Right now, Kagura looked like a banshee of tragedy herself. Not because of her appearance, hideous as always, but she also by her walking and smile, which anticipated death and disgrace. Kagura tried not to smile, so as not to be noticed by the other girls. But something inside of her told the girl to do it. She had repressed, torn apart, and hidden her real emotions for longer than she had expected. It was time to release them all; along with the revenge she had planned for the others.
"Smile, Kagura. Just keep smiling. Pretend to be nice to them, they like you to be stupid. Act dumb and they won't suspect on you. These whores, with the exception of Sachiko, fucking deserve to leave this place in a body bag. Only one can survive in the end, and this one shall be you."
Although Kagura would certainly say that she was still sane if asked about it, any psychologist in the world would say otherwise. Since the five girls had reached the apartment, Kagura felt like being stripped bare of her personality by unseen hands. It was impossible to explain it, but what the girl had tried not to be during her entire life had finally caught up with her. She felt like sinking in an old bathtub, having the joyful, shy and fragile wall she created to protect herself being lifted from her body.
No wonder that, like taking a bath, it felt so good.
Kagura could not control her movements anymore. With steps that led to nowhere, the girl kept walking in circles in the middle of the living room. Although she did it for less than ten seconds before being interrupted, this special moment felt like hours for her. For once, she was free from the world, free from her tormentors, alone with no one but herself. Like the peaceful slumber a bear does during the winter only to slash his prey afterwards, when spring comes.
Kagura gave the class bullies reasons to torment since the day she came to school. She was shy, largely unattractive, and most of all, strange. She had been bullied in her previous school as well, so nothing indicated that the situation would not repeat itself. However, she never fought back. Friends were something Kagura never really knew, and therefore she did not feel lonely and isolated. She endured pain and humiliation daily, not even telling her own parents about it. If she did, things would get complicated, and being a calm and serene person, complication was the last thing Kagura wanted.
Puberty came in a rush, and, although it did not improve Kagura's physical condition, it certainly made her social situation a burden to carry. The girl began to want to have friends, so painfully that it soon became a physical necessity. Every night she prayed to the gods to give her friends, every day she looked at socializing tips on the internet. Even though she wasn't the type of person who believes in everything, Kagura needed someone or something to give her good advice, and slowly the many hours she spent on her computer bore fruits in her social life.
Following the "how to make friends" tips she found online, Kagura slowly began to open up a little bit more and to approach Rin's group. She sat next to them in class, talked to them during breaks, and even though a little intermissive, tried to go where they went as much as possible. Sachiko and Rin soon grew fond of her, while Hitomi and Hana took a while to view the ugly girl as a friend. Kagura held back their anger after seeing the girls' indifferent glares. In high school, beauty is all that matters, and two dumb bimbos like them would never understand how girls like Kagura felt.
Everything was well afterwards, to the point of Kagura actually thinking about the possibility of getting a boyfriend in the future. With four friends such as those ones, and one of them being the richest and most popular girl at school, it was a dream that was bound to come true.
Until the day of the annual chorus concert.
Being an otaku by heart, Kagura was exceptionally happy after finding out that the song they would sing would be the opening theme of Evangelion. For the ugly girl, it was the best anime in the world, even though its violence and sexuality were mostly censored by the government. Out of all of its characters, the one Kagura liked the most was Asuka, the pilot of Unit 02. She represented everything Kagura wanted to one day become: pretty, Intelligent, hot-headed, confident and skilled. Being chosen as the main soloist represented an even bigger joy for her. In a class filled with good and beautiful singers like Shizuko Honda, being the main voice was an honor for Kagura. She would be noticed and appreciated by all, and finally receive the place in the world that she wanted to achieve for so long: the top.
There was no specific dress code for the performance, except for the fact that all clothes should be red. Luckily for Kagura, red was the color of Asuka's plug suit, and the girl took the opportunity to cosplay her favorite anime character. Kagura spent the tree months before the final performance collecting material, sewing her cosplay at home and asking her mom to buy the accessories for her. When all of the work was done, the clothing looked undeniably good in Kagura, intelligently molded so as not to seem too tight in her overweight body. Maybe, on the magic day, a boy would say that she was pretty and ask her out on a date. Just maybe…
D-day came fast, and with it Kagura's burst of self esteem. She was the center of attention, looked prettier than many girls with all of the make-up she managed to put on, and smiled to everyone she saw in the hallways. It would have been the best day of her life, if it wasn't for the voices she heard on the other side of the bathroom door while she walked by.
"Did you girls see Kagura Soga today? I know that she's ugly, but today, she is even worse!" Mocked Miki Nakayoshi, the first of the four voices who would torment Kagura forever.
"That cow? Who she thinks she is? She wants to hang out with us every day; she's like, a pest! What do Rin and Sachiko see in her? She's so fucking annoying and stupid; I would love to tell her to just go away!" The voice of one of her so-called friends instantly made Kagura tear up. It was Hana Nozaki.
"You know what she told me today, Hana? She's thinking about getting a boyfriend soon! Is she like, mentally retarded or what? Boys like girls who can be looked at twice, and this is certainly not her case!" Hitomi Nara spoke. Kagura's chest began to burn.
"A boyfriend? Boyfriend my ass. If I were a boy, I would rather lick the floor than kissing her. What is she wearing today, a ticket to the brothel? Or is it one of those retarded anime things that only losers like her watch?" Kageri Shouzaku came into the conversation. Kagura did not hear the rest of it. She was already running away.
They lied. They lied to her, wronged her, made fun of her behind her back. Those girls were all monsters, more worried about make-up and hooking up with handsome men than with just being nice. Their parties and shining beauty were nothing but costumes they put on in order to seem like nice people. But while the ugly ducklings were not there, they gossiped and cursed, bringing pain and sorrow to other people's lives. Just like what they had just done to Kagura.
The ugly girl was crying, ruining her makeup with every tear. She sat in a corner at the school's staircase for several minutes, until a teacher found her there after noticing her absence in class. While she cried and wailed, no one came to help her. No other girl tried to wipe away her tears; no one was worried enough for it. Kagura wasn't important to anyone; she was just a small stain of grease that should be swept away.
"High school is hell."
"Kagura..?"
The voice who called for Kagura was one that she absolutely did not want to hear.
Hana Nozaki stood right in front of her. Forgetting her painful memories for a moment, Kagura stared back at her enemy like a lion who has been surprised while eating the prey. Hana's braided black hair, large brown eyes and overall pretty appearance made Kagura jealous and disgusted at the same time. What was God thinking, when He gave so much beauty to someone as awful as Hana? She did not deserve to look good. For Kagura, Hana should have been born ugly as a cow, in order to learn what being the loser actually felt like.
"What's wrong?"
"I heard you walking around here while going for some chat with Hitomi… Are you OK?"
"It's none of your business."
What Kagura really wanted was to spit on the pretty girl's face, or to shoot her in the forehead if she had been assigned a gun. But humiliating Hana with words only was enough, at short term. Without looking at Hana again, Kagura turned her back towards her enemy and walked back to her bedroom. She was smiling.
The plan was working. Kagura had studied Rin's face and made completely herself sure of it. Soon, Rin would go ballistic on her friends, and after they all shot each other, the game would be on the palm of Kagura's hands. Of course, Sachiko wasn't going to die with the others, but if she did, it would be a necessary evil. "She might like me for sure, but she probably knows that they bash me behind my back, and does not do anything. I might say it to her later; who knows, maybe she'll help me with my revenge."
It would take a while for the huge confrontation to happen, and until them she would have to endure her "friends" company. Nothing to worry about. She was in The Program, which messed with people's ideals and turned the good into monsters. It would be even better if the massacre occurred at the end of the game, because then Kagura would automatically win.
As she walked back to her bedroom with a twisted glee on her face, Kagura couldn't stop thinking about an incident that happened on a previous Program. Know as "the lighthouse massacre" by the media, this incident had a lot of national repercussion and even appeared on the front page of many newspapers, along with the tragic failure that was that Program's edition. Kagura did not know much about it, except that it had been caused by a girl named Yuko Sakaki. She fatally poisoned one of her friends, and, shortly afterwards, they engaged in a gunfight which ended with all of them dead. The most surprising thing, though, was Yuko's reaction. She could have won that game; she had the weapons and the power to do so. Instead, she did the most stupid thing someone can make in a Battle Royale: commit suicide. She jumped from the lighthouse and threw her life away in an instant.
Kagura did not pity her. Nice example for future contestants, but Yuko still lacked something: persistence. Willpower. Smartness. And Kagura knew that she herself had it abundantly.
"I won't be like her. She might have made it far out of luck, but she was weak. I'll be better, stronger. They will pay for what they did to me."
When Kagura opened the door to her bedroom, she wasn't the same girl she was before. The Program had changed her. Inside of her once kind, truthful soul, only lies remained. Beautiful lies. Sweet lies.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
"The apartment girls. Kind of similar to the lighthouse girls from the original, isn't it? In my opinion, the lighthouse massacre was the best scene of the original, for many reasons: it had intensity, a very high body count, and most of all, happened between people who were friends with each other, instead of being caused by a complete psycho.
However, I couldn't just reproduce the same situation here. While some of the characters might be associated with a girl from the original, I tried my best to set them apart, and to give them a different role in the doom that is to come.
Sachiko Kirihara: She could be associated with Satomi Noda very easily. Both wear glasses and are model students, do drama at school, and even have slightly similar names. However, I decided to differentiate them by giving Sachiko a much warmer and outgoing personality. She's genuinely kind to Kagura, although also has problems of her own. Her abusive ex-boyfriend was also something to add for her personality, along with her genuine fear of being watched and robbed of her life in The Program.
Rin Tosaba: She's the leader. Yukie Utsumi also is. They are similar, right? Not really. Rin has tons of money, but it did not bring her happiness or a higher self-esteem. Instead, she feels forced and unhappy. Her father wanted the best for her, but things did not happen as he planned. Also, the trauma she went through as a child turned her into a very unstable and indecisive person. She's a very complex character, always in doubt between trusting her friends or not. Much different from the "perfect leader" Yukie was.
Kagura Soga: She could be clearly associated with Yuko Sakaki. Both want someone to die, and are insecure of themselves. Yuko, though, is one of my least favorite characters from the original. I don't think someone so frail could actually poison a plate. There's also a difference in their motivations. Here, Kagura's betrayal is intentional and even revengeful. She's not the type of person who has had an easy life, and it reflects on her personality Program. Even though she might be considered a villain, I like write about her. She's, in my opinion, a very human character. In her situation, I believe I would do the same.
So, this was by far the chapter I had more work with. In your opinion, was it worth it? I've decided to describe and explan the character's backstories in detail, so it obviously took me a lot of time and effort. However, I'm glad I finally finished this chapter. It will still take a while until I upload again.