Fuu: Hey peoples, whats up?
Basch: Not that greeting again…
Fuu: What's wrong, honey?
Basch: -blushes- Don't start with that, again!
Fuu: Why not?
Balthier: Um…what the young lady here was trying to exclaim is that she does not own Final Fantasy XII, its settings, characters, or plot. She would own a lot of treasure if she did. But, she does own herself, Yuko, and these so-called "Fini" and "Misa" girls.
Misa: He can't see us…
Fini: Yeah…pity for us…
Fran: Let's begin…Vaan and Fuu got taken away, remember?
Chapter 6Basch Gets Pwned
We were taken in a large room and sat down in chairs and I looked over at Vaan, who gave me a confident, courageous little grin before a man spoke up to another man.
"This is he, Sir. He claims to be Captain Basch…"
"Really? And the girl?"
"His wife…who's pregnant so be restrained with her." The man said. I held in some laughter, but my laughing snort brought attention to them. I looked up and saw them staring at me. I gave them an awkward smile.
"Inside joke?" I said. They both rolled their eyes and brought concentration back to each other.
"But, why this boy, why Captain Basch Ronsenburg? And this girl…she looks too young…why would she be his spouse? An explanation is due, and I will hear it! The Empire's hounds grow passing bold indeed." A man said.
"A shame if they learned the Marquis trafficked with the likes of you." I turned around to see who spoke those words and saw Balthier! Thank the Lord he was here, because these guys were totally confused…I think.
"Balthier! Yay!" I squealed blissfully. I wanted to end the wife masquerade already…it was getting pretty old now. Fran and Basch, carrying Yuko piggyback style, with Fini and Misa plopped on her head, came in as well behind Balthier.
"Agents disguising as guides? And a hideout behind a tavern? Not earning much points for originality, are we here?" Balthier said. This angered all the men.
"Now you've done it!" Said a Bangaa man, the man who brought us inside.
"Wait!" The man, I remember his name now, Havharo, said. He put his arm out in front of the Bangaa and walked slowly towards Basch. Walking slowly as in a walk, not like how the characters in "Harvest Moon: A wonderful Life" walk…now that's pretty freaking slow.
"So Captain Ronsenburg is still alive, now is he?" Havharo said to Basch. Yuko looked over at Basch, who nodded. I was pretty dazed during this part…I thought about how I would've married Basch and had lots of kids…oh Lord…bad thoughts…but they came anyway…
My Thoughts…The camera shows a pink mushroom house…don't ask, but it's a house in the shape of a mushroom, just like how Spongebob Squarepants lives in a giant pineapple. I am inside; my hair slightly grew longer, long enough to make my ponytails less retarded looking. I was in a small but homey kitchen, making something that smelled good…fish? Yeah, I think something with fish and butter. The white front door opens…and in enters Basch, shaven with work clothes on.
"Honey, I'm home!" Basch says merrily. I turn off the stove and run over to Basch as I assist taking off his work jacket.
"How was your day at work, dear?"
"It was fine. The paycheck came in today."
"Splendid!"
"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Four voices call out. From upstairs, four young children come downstairs and hug their daddy. I smile. There are two sons and two daughters; their names are Marco (Middle Name: Edward), Madison, nicknamed Madi (Middle Name: Julia), Ricky (Middle Name: Jasper), and Kara (Middle Name: Devan).
"We picked raspberries today! They bloomed yesterday!" Kara said.
"Really now? We'll have to use them for our fruit salad." Basch said. The kids all cheered and ran upstairs again. I looked over at my husband and grinned.
"Today is so swell, gorgeous, pretty…AND YOU TURN ME ON!" I ran over and jumped onto him...we stayed in the bedroom for hours…a month later, I was pregnant…again…
"OH MY GOD!" I screeched. My thoughts were over. Everyone stared at me, and then ignored me after the awkward silence. They continued conversing as I made my recovery from evil world…
"I knew that there must be a lot more to it…but to find you at the end of this tale…hehehe," Havharo chuckled. "Ah, to see the Marquis' expression on his face when he knows about it." Havharo had a point. Old dude Marquis would be pretty damn surprised if he saw Basch living like a normal guy would.
"I actually should like nothing more," Basch stated, letting Yuko down from her little piggyback ride he gave to her. "I shall meet him and I will see for myself."
"How say you, My Lord?" Havharo asked.
"I'll arrange a meeting with the Marquis. We'll expect you to be at his estate." A man in the room said. The man left the room to tell the old geezer that we're going to meet him and we headed out of that place. We went outside and I stopped dead in my tracks…my stomach was growling like nuts. I clenched it to try and halt it, but it was only giving me small scratches on it through my camisole.
"You should've ordered food at the Sandsea back in Rabanastre, Fuu!" Fini hissed.
"Shut up! All the food over there looked like pig vomit." I screeched back at the damn pixie.
"Didn't you ever hear the term of "trying something new"?" Misa groaned, a little tired of Fini and my arguing.
"Maybe there will be some food at the estate." Yuko calmed us down.
"Like sushi, crepes, ice cream, steak sirloin, spaghetti…yum…" I mumbled, wearily following everyone in the back of the group.
…
After a few minutes, we reached the estate, and we went up lots and lots and lots of stairs, all the way to the tippy top where the Marquis was. He didn't seem pretty astonished to see Basch to me, he just grinned. I had also noticed that out the windows it was pretty dark…almost time for bed…and I admit I was getting pretty sleepy…
"Sir Basch Ronsenburg…it was not very long ago that I announced your death." Marquis said.
"And that is the only reason why I draw breath." Basch responded. There was a small awkward silence…that's when I heard my stomach go mad again. Everyone stared at me.
"Food's over there, young Miss." Marquis said, pointing to a large, long table of luxurious looking food. I gasped happily and ran up to him, bowing down.
"ARIGATO!" I squealed and I jogged over and grabbed everything that looked edible and delicious. I still listened to some of the conversation while I gulped down food, which was really, really tasty…but yet again, I didn't pay very much attention at all.
"Can we see Larsa for a second? He's got a friend of mine with me." Vaan said.
"I'm sorry, but you're too late for that request. Lord Larsa's cortege has already rejoined the Imperial Detachment…"
"In other words, little kids, he's not here." I said kind of loudly. The food made me kind of hyper for some odd reason, but I was probably just really happy to have food in my belly again…my last meal was at my house (since the beer at the Sandsea doesn't count) and it was a Pop tart.
"What are we waiting for?" Vaan asked Balthier with a little anger in his tone of voice.
"For you to calm down." Balthier responded. My stomach was pleased as I gained back my 89 pounds and I walked over to the group. Then, Ondore Marquis turned his head over to Basch.
"Captain Ronsenburg. Surely the exigencies of position are not lost on you. Why indeed, you should find the enemy's chains…an easy burden to bear…" Basch was about to charge after Ondore, but Balthier put his arm out in front of him.
"Wait!"
"I'm sorry…it cannot be helped." Basch said with a sad tone.
"Basch…" I said.
"Summon the Guard!" Ondore said. We all looked at him. Good God! How many times were we going to be arrested?
"Are you freaking kidding me? I swear to God, dude—!"
"Take them to Judge Ghis!" Ondore said as guards came in and took our hands behind our backs. I slightly screamed when one came up from behind me.
"Let…me…GO!" I kicked the dude in the balls…but it didn't really affect him because of all his heavy armor…instead, I pretty much hurt my own foot. I felt terrible for what they did to Yuko…they were grabbing her by the ponytail and dragging her! "Don't you dare treat her like a dead animal!" I screamed at them. That's when a guard got really annoyed by my struggling and crap that he pinched the part of your body that made you pass out…and that's exactly what I did.
…………………………………………………………………………….
I woke up, standing up, with chains wrapped around my ankles and feet. I was behind Fran and Yuko was behind me.
"Are you all right?" I asked her. She nodded. "Those bastards can't tell the difference between humans and mutts." I completed my statement until a guard came up to me.
"NO TALKING!" He shouted. I gave the guy the finger as I continued walking…but people in Ivalice didn't know what that meant, so he didn't give me a slap or anything like that. We all stopped in our tracks and we were all brought forward out of the line of chained prisoners…AKA, ourselves…
"The prisoners, My Lord." Said the guard that scolded me. I then recognized that voice…it was the very first guy that I soaped with Soapy in the Garamsythe waterway! Garbuden and his cronies…damn them. I then saw Ashe walk up…but I remembered that the group didn't know that her real name was Ashe and she was the princess of Dalmasca. She saw all of us and gasped at Basch. She ran up to him and slapped him, and it sounded painful, too, because bitches these days have pretty powerful slap…and Ashe was probably in her bitch mode, I was 99 percent sure of that. But never mind that… BASCH JUST GOT PWNED!
"After what you've done! How dare you! You're supposed to be dead!"
"Well, he isn't." I mumbled.
"Come, come, now," Judge Ghis said. "Have you forgotten your manners already? The is hardly the courtesy due…" Judge Ghis spoke the next words, and I decided to join in unison.
"Princess Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca." Ghis looked at me, surprised, and started chuckling, while everyone else was like "What the crap? Amalia's Ashe?!".
"Hmm…state your name, girl." Ghis said to me. I didn't want to say anything, but it was best to tell him. Maybe he would give me a chance and release us.
"Fuu."
"Fuu, eh? Huh, you may be the Legend itself. Strange clothes, strange name…is that really your title? Did Marquis know about this? Why are you in these chains—?"
"Dude, slow down with the question asking already, just let us go before I go all demon fox on you!" I snapped at him. He shot back his head and chuckled once more.
"Don't interrupt." Ashe hissed at me. Then, we all saw flashing coming from Vaan…the pretty Magicite!
"Hahaha! So you've brought the stone with you, eh? This spares us a great deal of trouble, then." Ghis laughed. Guards grabbed Ashe from behind as Ghis snatched the stone from Vaan's hands.
"But you have to promise something…no executions." Vaan said. Smart, I thought.
"A Judge's duty is to the law." Ghis replied. "Take them away, and quarter the princess separately!" Bastard…we were dragged away in our glorious chains as we walked to a room.
"So we had it all along…the Fates jest." Basch sighed.
"Tell these little Fates of yours to leave me out of this." Balthier said to Basch.
"Quiet!" Garbuden screeched. I glared at the guard.
"You keep quiet, you dry piece of homosexual!" I snapped back. Yeah, yeah, I know, that comeback I had said was extremely retarded. Garbuden growled at me, but ignored my remark, surprisingly.
"There was nothing else that I could've done…you know that." Basch continued speaking to Balthier.
"Ah, I understand. Honor, duty, and all of that… I still can't believe that was the princess…and our young lady here knew it all along…"
"I SAID TO KEEP QUIET!" The guard was about to attack Balthier. In less than a half second, I noticed that the guy had light armor on, so I jumped out in front of Balthier and kicked the guy straight in his package. He looked like he was in pain, too. He crouched on the ground as Balthier kicked him, making him unconscious. Fran kicked another guard out of her reach…and the guard went flying back into another guard dressed in black…who threw him down?! The black armored guard removed his helmet and black armor…and it was Basch's friend Vossler!
"Vossler! Yo!" I blurted out from my big fat mouth. He stared at me, as well as Basch…and yet again, I was bowed down to.
"Legend…" They both said in perfect unison. They both took my hands and kissed them again…this time it was a little far…kissing up to my wrist, so I lightly slapped them.
"I know what will happen to you two if you continue kissing me like that." I said in a spooky tone of voice, scaring them off from my hands.
"I'm going to get the Princess out…but of course, I need your help." Vossler said to everyone.
"Of course we can help you out! It's our duty as the Gullwings!" I said. Ah, no, wait! That's Final Fantasy X-2! "Er…I mean…we'd love to help you out, Vossey!" Yuppers, that's his new nickname from now on.
"This way." Fran said. She pointed to a door with a button…and lucky us, a save crystal...We replenished our wounds and "saved our game" before we headed out of the room.
"Oh, yes. A word of caution," Vossler spoke up as we came to a halt by his words. "That red web of light will set off an alarm to bring out guards…we wouldn't want to start more trouble, now would we?" We all nodded as we saw different halls with red light beams coating the entrance to the hallway, but as we were walking, I spotted something black out of nowhere. I smiled and giggled. In another hall was the furry black thing…and I was attracted to it.
"Fini, Yuko, Misa, look! It's a puppy dog!" I squealed. I love animals, so I ran up to the hall. But when I was a foot away from it, it turned around and growled viciously. Foam was dripping out of its mouth and its fangs were white and sharp looking like a great white shark's teeth. I stopped dead in my tracks.
"You…dumbass…" Fini said. We all screamed and I picked up Yuko and shoved her into my backpack as the rabid dog chased after us. Not noticing my absence until now, Vaan turned around and saw the dog chasing me.
"Fuu!" He shouted, but not moving anywhere. I continued my obnoxious screaming…and I was trying to get away from the dog so much that I ran into the red lasers…and it set off the alarms. A few seconds later, guards came charging after us. Great, now we were all running after a rabid dog and a dozen guards. Balthier shot some of the guards as the dog got exhausted from running and passed out and he ran over to me.
"You're not very good at following directions, are you?" Balthier smirked.
"Shut the hell up." I responded. We managed to get inside of a room and saw 12 guards and two judges ready to whoop our butts.
"Fear not their numbers, only take down their leaders!" Vossey said, unleashing his sword like the previous chaos that had happened. I got out my ninja sword and ran swiftly, trying to get to a judge, but a guard snapped up in front of my and grabbed my wrist. I tried to get out of his grip, but nothing seemed to work. Yuko then ran up, jumped on the guard's arm, got out Soapy, took off his helmet by one hand, and soaped him right in the eyes. A FIVE YEAR OLD DID ALL OF THAT? The guard fell backwards in pain, clenching his face from the eye burning. Yuko grinned at me.
"Us kids can fight as well." She said. I nodded, still shocked at her doings.
"Uh…yeah…I see that…" I said almost breathless. I then picked up my ninja sword, which clanged to the ground, and got ready to fight some more baddies. I ran up to a judge, since Vossey, Fran and Vaan took out the six surrounding him, and I sliced some of his armor up. Fini and Misa also took his cape and draped it over his face, so he was utterly confused at what he was doing and where he was going. That's when Vaan kicked him over and knocked him out unconscious. I checked over to the other side of the battle to see how everyone else was doing, so I ran over to them and knocked over a guard with the back of my ninja sword. Balthier shot down some guards in the shoulders and Basch took down the judge in a couple of strokes with his broadsword. We all looked at each other in a silent success…but I got out my cell phone and played a ring tone…again, the victory music, with a guy badly singing the last three notes. Everyone stared at me and cocked an eyebrow, but I tucked my phone away into my backpack where it was safely hidden…and I put it on silent, as well.
"Sorry…" I said with pure innocence. Everyone dropped the ring tone situation and continued forwards into chambers. In one of them was Princess Ashe, sitting there, pondering her thoughts away in shame…when the door opened, Vossey was the first to come over to her and comfort her.
"You're unharmed." Vossey said to Ashe.
"Vossler, I—!" Ashe said weakly. Vossler grabbed her shoulders to keep her from falling over.
"Majesty." He said. While this scene was happening, I was thinking to myself…Okay, Final Fantasy XII gets so much yaoi its not even funny…this happens because the game cannot decided on main pairings…like Tidus and Yuna in Final Fantasy X…but, man oh man, Ashe can't get one man! I feel sad for her…dearly…
"You!" Ashe said angrily as she saw Basch approach her.
"Hey, come on! Let's get out of here!" Vaan said. I nodded in agreement with him as I followed him outside of the cell. We were running out of time…guards were searching for us everywhere and if we didn't get out soon, we were going to be bagels with cream cheese and jelly. Vaan and I found some treasure chests with potions and echo screens and all that other goody stuff in random treasure chests nearby, but when we were done with our treasure chest hunting, we saw two other people running in our direction…Larsa and Penelo!
"Vaan!" Penelo shouted happily. The two ran up to each other and hugged, how touching.
"It's okay…we're all okay." Vaan whispered to her. Larsa walked up to everyone and cleared his throat.
"Ghis knows you've escaped…" Larsa stated. He then saw everyone panting from running around all day. "It seems you know that already, hmm? Well then, you must hurry…Lady Ashe," Larsa faced towards Ashe. "By all rights, you aren't even supposed to exist." I remembered now. Everyone thought that Ashe commited suicide because of her husband's death in the war…but it wasn't true…but it seems you know that already.
"I know." Ashe responded.
"Thanks "Lamont"." Vaan said, folding his arms together. Larsa turned around before he was departing and scratched the back of his head.
"Oh, forgive me for that." He sighed. He then walked over to Penelo. "For you." He handed Penelo the Nethicite that he showed to everyone in the caverns at the Lhusu Mines. Penelo took it and kept it safely in my backpack, confused by the many zippers and empty spaces in it, but I gave her some help. She gave a small thank you to Larsa and me before Larsa then walked over to me and bowed down.
"And to the Legend, of course," He stated. "Good luck." He took my hand and kissed it…that was getting pretty old now, so I didn't care anymore. He then stood up and left. Vossler follows Larsa and they disappear.
"Vaan, who are these people?" Penelo asked her best friend.
"This is Balthier, Fran, Basch, Ashe, Fuu, and Yuko." Vaan pointed to everyone as we ran out of the hallway to try and make an escape somewhere. We then entered a larger room where Judge Ghis was, wielding a big ass sword.
"Such a great shame, really. I thought you were the one to restore peace to all of Dalmasca." He said. "Hmph. No matter, however…" He was summoning a flame vortex and it aimed for the group.
"No!" I shrieked, as I was the closest to Ghis in the entire group. I shut my eyes and tried to defend myself with my ninja sword…but a flash of light made the flame vortex vanish.
"What was that?" Penelo asked.
"The Nethicite." Balthier said with some astonishment in his voice. Ghis then charged after us and we began to fight. I honestly didn't remember much about this fight when I played my file in the game, but I just used a whole crap load of quickenings…damn, I didn't have any…so I thought.
"Fuu! Say these words!" Fini said to me. I turned to see her flying where Ghis wouldn't accidentally slice her with his giant sword. "Twilight Labyrinth!" Sounds like a novel title but I shook my head and took a deep breath.
"TWILIGHT LABYRINTH!" I shrieked. Everything froze around me and it was only Judge Ghis and I in the dark pink, cloudy atmosphere. My body was moving on its own so I had no control over it. I forced my hands back automatically and summoned a bright yellow and white light in a big ball. Little beams shot out of the ball and attacked Ghis, then threw the big ball over my head and there was a massive explosion…I then noticed that other members of my group were using quickenings as well. Ashe used hers, Northwain's Glow, then Fran used hers, Feral Strike, and then we all summoned an inferno! It didn't take out Ghis completely, but he was getting weaker from all of that quickening craziness. Yuko ran over to me and clenched onto my left leg.
"What's the matter, Yuko?" I asked her.
"Ghis…he's coming this way!" Yuko screamed. I turned around and saw Ghis from behind me. He picked me up by the waist and stood up, holding back my hands and neck. I tried to get out, but of course, his hands were way too strong to just shimmy your way out of his grasp.
"Surrender or else the girl will die!" Ghis said loudly. His sword was in front of my neck. I gasped at the sight of the blade.
"Put her down!" Yuko screamed. Ghis kicked her out of the way and down some stairs, which made her pass out.
"Yuko! No!" I screeched. I continued struggling until he had the blade even closer to my throat.
"Keep this up and your blood will be spilt right this moment." He muttered at me. I then felt something strange on my back…it was painful yet soothing, hot and cold…it was…different. Every once in a while, my entire body would flash sideways (A/N Okay, that's really hard to explain, but if you want to see what it looks like, see episode two of an anime called Kamichama Karin…its near the end of the episode, so you'll get the gist of what I'm trying to explain in this part…thanks a billion.).
"What's happening?" Vaan asked. I had my eyes opened the whole time…yet I couldn't see much of anything. As I continued to flash sideways, I saw this yellowish white light surround me…and then, I heard Ghis screaming in pain. He fell backwards and I was collapsing down the stairs like Yuko had done previously. I then saw Balthier looking down at me.
"How did that happen?" He smiled. Then, my eyes completely shut…
………
To be continued in chapter seven…
Wow! That was a coolish chapter! Please review, I would appreciate it!