Thanks for putting up with the wait. I've been really busy at work and stuff, plus I'd been looking forward to seeing the final episode of JAG on FX (in the UK) as I thought that might help me with my unfinished stories, but they really unhelpfully they changed the time is was broadcast to after I get home from work…. (bastards!!!) If anyone has any suggestions on how I could get hold of that last episode I would be eternally gratefull…ive been waiting for ages to see it!
Anyways, on with the chapter! Hope u like it. And thank you to all my lovely reviewers :o)
For the next couple of hours, Mac forced herself to concentrate on the task at hand; namely interviewing the Lieutenant charged with manslaughter. She couldn't help it though. As she listened to Harm asking the Lieutenant questions, her mind drifted to the car journey. Maybe she was over reacting, reading too much into things. It was just the lyrics of the song that were driving her crazy – They articulated the words that she had always longed to hear from Harm, and had always feared telling him. I must be reading too much into it. She told herself, That label was probably the name of the song. He was just singing along because he knew the words. God I love listening to him sing. Whenever he answers the door with his guitar in his hands it makes me swoon to think I might hear him play. God what is wrong with me?! She wondered, I'm dating another man, and hear I am daydreaming about someone I told to get lost not so long ago. Mac sighed softly, causing both Harm and their client to glance over at her in surprise. The worry in Harm's eyes was not lost on Mac, and she offered him a small smile, before turning her attention back to the notes in front of her.
Get a grip Mackenzie. She berated herself.
Once they had left their client and were heading back to the car, Harm finally let his mind start to wander. Glancing down at his companion, he wasn't surprised to see her deep in thought, a million miles away. Hope surged inside him. Had she got the significance of the song that Mattie had left? He wondered. Or was she upset about her fight with Webb?
He didn't sound to happy by the sounds of it, he didn't seem to take too kindly to being cancelled on. She was obviously not concentrating on the case during our interviews, I wonder what has got her so distracted. I really miss her. He started humming softly under his breath, the same song as before, to see if it would get a reaction out of the still silent Marine sitting next to him.
I love you,
You know that, don't you?
A couple of seconds later, he was rewarded with a glance and a small smile.
"Who's that song by?" she asked quietly,
"Some British band that Mattie loves." Harm replied, "I think they are called the Ordinary Boys." Mac smiled and reached into the glove compartment to pick out the other CDs. "She really likes her British pop music doesn't she?!" she continued with a small chuckle as she looked the piles of CDs.
"At the moment I think that's all she listens to." Harm admitted ruefully. "Still, they aren't all bad. If her Snow Patrol CD is in there, stick that in, it's great!" Mac raised an eyebrow in surprise, a smirk playing across her features.
"What's this?!" she asked teasingly, "Harmon Rabb admitting to liking a pop band?!"
"They're not pop Mac!" he replied with a jokingly wounded grin, "they're more like soft rock!" Mac rolled her eyes at him as she located the CD in the pile.
"Well lets find out shall we?!" She slipped the CD in and pressed play. Mac vaguely recognised the opening chords; she must have heard it on the radio at some point.
The perfect words never crossed my mind
'Cause there was nothing in there but you
I felt every ounce of me, screaming out
But the sound was trapped deep in me
All I wanted, just sped right past me
But I was rooted fast to the earth
I could be stuck here for a thousand years
Without your arms to drag me out
There you are, standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away, you leave me naked
Hold me close, cause I need you to guide me to safety
No, I don't wanna wait forever
No, I don't wanna wait forever
In the confusion, and the aftermath
You are my signal fire
The only resolution and the only joy
Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes
They sat quietly as they drove, listening to the lyrics of the song. This one would have been better Mattie, Harm thought wryly, before Paraguay at least. She's always been the one to keep me together, she's my rock. He sighed almost imperceptibly as the memories of Paraguay came flooding back.
There you are, standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away, you leave me naked
Hold me close, cause I need you to guide me to safety
There you are, standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away, you leave me naked
Hold me close, cause I need you to guide me to safety
No, I don't wanna wait forever
No, I don't wanna wait forever
No, I don't wanna wait forever
Unbeknownst to Harm, Mac was also struggling with a Paraguayan flashback of her own: the relief that she had felt when he had come charging through the door, the regret she had felt when their almost kiss was interrupted, and the pain she had felt when she had uttered that word. She hadn't really meant it, regretting the words the instant that they were out of her mouth. Although that Harm hadn't fought her on it hurt her almost as much as saying them. Deep down she knew that Harm was too much of gentleman to push something that he thought she didn't want, but still! She felt tears rise up in her eyes at the lyrics to the song, and blinked them away in disgust. They were beautiful words, and summed up so much about how she really felt about the Navy Commander who was once again singing softly under his breath as he drove along.
"Do you fancy having dinner with me?" the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. Suddenly she was anxious to put things right between them, hoping that maybe this time he was on the same page. Harm blinked at her in surprise, "I mean a working dinner." She added hastily, incorrectly interpreting his silence. "We can discuss the case, then maybe watch a movie?" To her utter relief, his face relaxed into a smile and he nodded.
"Sure, that would be good. Do you want to me to get Chinese on my way over to yours?"
Mac thought for a second, trying to get control of her thoughts, which had been sent haywire by the adrenaline that had been coursing round her body as she invited him to dinner.
"How about Thai?" she countered hopefully. Harm let out a low chuckle.
"Sure." He replied as he eased his car into the parking space next to hers in the HQ car park. "I'll be over at about 8?" Mac offered him a genuine, if unsure smile.
"Great. I'll see you then." She hopped out the car, and gave him a brief wave.
Truth be told, Harm was a little nervous when he knocked on Mac's door, juggling a bag of Thai food, a couple of DVDs and the case files. It had been a long time since they had had one of these working dinners. That fact, and the hint of promise that had sparked in their conversation following Mattie's harebrained little matchmaking scheme, made him feel like a nervous, quivering wreck inside. He truly had no idea what to expect. Mac was still with Webb after all. Even if she had understood Mattie's hint in the song lyrics, it wasn't like she was going to jump on him there and then, even if she did, as Mattie so strongly believed, feel the same for him as he did for her.
"Hi Harm," Mac said with a genuine smile as she opened the door, reaching out to grab some of the case files which were slipping from his arms. She grinned again as she took in the size of the bag he was carrying. "uh Harm, you do realise its just the two of us eating right?! That bag looks like it could feed the whole of Norfolk!" Harm laughed, his eyes sparkling wickedly as he replied,
"What?! With your appetite?!" he said with mock incredulity, jumping back to avoid the lazy swat that Mac sent his way.
"Watch is Sailor, or I'll hold your veggie-riddled rabbit food hostage!" she replied as she turned around and walked back towards the sofa, knowing Harm would follow her in.
About an hour later Mac was picking lazily at the leftovers of Harm's shrimp pad thai as they discussed the case. Their client maintained that he was innocent, but there was so much evidence that it was going to be a tough case to try.
"Something doesn't add up Harm." Mac was saying. Something about the case didn't make sense to her, but she couldn't figure out what it was. "My gut still tells me that the kid is telling the tru…" she stopped as a knock sounded at the door. Feeling slightly confused, she hopped to her feet wondering who could be calling this late. "the truth," she continued heading to the door, "he just doesn't seem the…" she trailed off at the sight of Clayton Webb standing in her doorway, anger unmistakeable in his eyes.
"You cancelled on me for him?" he asked without saying hello, brushing past her angrily.
"Hello to you too Clay" Mac replied coolly, following him into the sitting room, where she stood, arms crossed across her chest. Oh boy, Webb's in trouble! Harm thought to himself, I'll enjoy this.
"Harm and I are working on a case Clay." Mac replied, "How dare you barge in here like this? Come to think of it, why are you here?"
"I was in the area, I thought I'd pop by and see if you were in." Clay replied defensively, "Sorry to interrupt your cosy night in. Didn't realise you were juggling us both Sarah" he added with a look of contempt at Harm.
"We.." he started, getting ready to tell the arrogant CIA agent where he could shove it, before he was interrupted by Mac,
"Go to hell Clay!" she told him angrily, "How dare you come in here and suggest something like that. Harm and I have been friends for longer than you have been trying to get us killed with your badly planned missions, we are working on a case together, how dare you suggest anything otherwise."
"Honestly Sarah, how can you be so blind," Web shot back, in a tone equal to hers, "He has always been in love with you," Harm shifted uncomfortably at that, a movement that did not go unnoticed by his partner. "I bet he's just been waiting for his chance to get back in your favour." Harm risked a glance at Mac. He could practically see the anger radiating off her in waves. She was going to give him hell, he could see it in her eyes, and he was going to enjoy every second of it.
"That is it." Mac said, shooting an apologetic glance in Harm's direction. "I think its time you left Clay. You have no right to be here right now." She put a hand on his arm, and pulled him by the arm to the front door. "Please don't call me again," Harm heard her say, "Not now, and not ever."
"But Sarah…."
"No Clay, things haven't been working for a while, you've just helped me to see why. Goodbye."
There was the sound of a door slamming, and a couple of moments later Mac reappeared in the doorway, trying to surreptitiously wipe a couple of tears out of her eyes.
"Mac?" Harm said softly, getting up and walking over to her. "Are you ok?" Her eyes met his, and he forced a smile onto his face. "I'm sorry." He offered nervously, not really sure what to say. Webb's appearance and accusations had once again rocked the already unsteady boat of their relationship and he had to admit, he didn't have a clue what to do or how to act. Mac managed a smile,
"Don't be." She replied, "It's not your fault Harm, Clay and I weren't…well it….it just wasn't working out."
"Are you going to be ok? Is there anything I can do?" Mac took a deep breath and smiled shyly at him, "a hug would be nice?" Harm was floored. Mac wasn't good at letting her guard down. It was a trait that she shared with Harm. He managed a goofy grin.
"I can manage that." He took another step forward and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her head against his shoulder. Mac instinctively placed her arms around his back, relishing in the comfort and warmth of his embrace.
They stayed like that for a few moments, until Mac pulled away, an embarrassed smile on her face.
"Sorry about that." She murmured softly, heading over to the table and starting to pile up the takeout boxes to take them into the kitchen.
"Anytime." Harm replied softly, following her over and picking up the remaining boxes. "And Mac?" she paused from her position in the kitchen doorway. "For what its worth, he's an idiot." A hint of a smile flashed across her face.
"Thanks Harm." She replied, "I'm sorry he said all of that about you. He had no right." Harm grinned nervously,
"Don't worry about it. Are you sure you're ok?" The look of concern in his eyes made the butterflies in her stomach start dancing like crazy as she remembered why she had fallen in love with her partner in the first place. She smiled.
"I'm fine Harm." She replied honestly. ""but do you mind if we start again tomorrow. I'm feeling kind of tired." A flash of understanding appeared on his face.
"Sure thing." He offered her a smile,
"Why don't we try another working dinner at my place tomorrow evening? I know Mattie would love to see you? She could join us for dinner and then leave us to work?"
"Sure, that would be nice."
"Great. I'll see you tomorrow." He said as he opened the front door. He paused and turned to look at her, "and Mac? If you want to talk? I'm here." An uncertain smile flashed across her face and she nodded her silent understanding.
Hope you enjoyed it! All feedback, whether good or bad makes my day!!!!