Fuu: OMG! Hey everyone! I am SOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for not updating sooner! But here I am with chapter 18! HOORAH!

Rozaline: Fuu does not own Final Fantasy XII…this goes for its characters, settings, and plots. Fuu owns Yuko-chan, Misa, Fini, Jude, herself and myself.

Basch: …here's chapter 18.

Going Into Ivalice

Chapter 18: Funky Glasses and Furious Princesses

We finally arrived at Mt. Bur-Omisace after about two hours of climbing up hills, steeper hills, even steeper hills, and ok-ish hills. They're mountains, you have to climb up a whole lot of hills.

During the way up, Balthier carried me after my 'fainting incident' (so he called it.), and we even listened to my iPod. Some songs he didn't find very satisfying, but all in all, he was still fascinated with my 4th generation, golden-colored nano. Here's what I figured out about his music taste: he liked Linkin Park, Queen, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, and Pearl Jam. Even a little Sex Pistols. He disliked Fergie, Lady Gaga, T-Pain, and 3OH!3

I guess Balthier wasn't a big hip hop/rap/pop fan.

When we got to Mt. Bur-Omisace, he finally set me down. We just got done listening to "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga.

"Dang, I love that song." I said as he set me down.

"Disagreeable." Balthier stated. I chuckled at this as I wrapped my ear buds around my iPod and put it in my backpack, where Penelo was carrying it while Balthier carried me.

"You have some interesting items in here." Penelo said as she handed me my backpack, Fini and Misa resting in the side pockets of it.

"Such as?" I questioned.

"This." She handed me my cell phone, where she was looking through my various contacts, ring tones, and games. "And this." She continued to hand me things that she and Vaan found in my backpack. Mascara, those really soft tissues that you could use as makeshift pillows, a picture of a ShamWow (don't ask. My friends probably snuck that in there one time back when I lived in my original world), and some cleansing pads for Soapy's killing delight.

"This is the weirdest of them all." Vaan said, taking something out of his back pocket. I was expecting another picture of something random, like a humpback whale or a drunken guy in a diaper and a rainbow Afro, but what he pulled out made me flush in embarrassment.

A tampon.

I remembered that I packed some of that stuff in my bag before I departed for my venture, but I nearly forgot about those materials.

"What is it?" Penelo picked up the tampon.

"Is it a weapon of some sort? Does it cast any black magicks? White magicks?" Vaan took it from Penelo's hand and continued inspecting the object.

"That's enough of that." I flushed even more, swiping it out of Vaan's hand.

"But…what does it do?" Vaan continued to ask me.

"You are too young to know." I said, trying to walk away from them.

"I'm actually older than you." Vaan said.

"Drop the subject, pa-lease!" I shouted, speeding up my pace, face as red as a tomato.

I hung out with the older people of the party, and I kept my distance from Jude and Rozaline as best I could. If Jude came over and suddenly apologized, I wasn't going to fall for it, no way. And Rozaline was just annoying, so it was best to stay away from her, too. I was standing next to Ashe and Basch (they looked a little surprised to see me walking with them, but they didn't say anything about it.)

"So, we're visiting the elder dude, isn't that right?" I questioned Basch and Ashe.

"The Gran Kiltias." Ashe corrected me, a look of slight disgust on her face. "A Legend of Raithwall should never address a being with such a high tribute as something crude."

"Sorry." I muttered. Geez, this woman just loved to scold at me.

"She is young." Basch said. "She'll understand soon enough."

"Sheesh, Basch!" I said. "I may be fourteen, but I'm not that young!"

"Pardon me, Legend." Basch put his hand on my shoulder. "Excuse me if you took that as an offense, which I did not want it to be." I smiled. This was the respect I wanted.

"It's all good, Basch." I winked. "And I've been wanting to say this for a long while, but just call me Fuu, kay?"

"All right, Fuu." He gave me a smile. Ashe gave us a glance and walked ahead of us through the little paths of Mt. Bur-Omisace.

There were lot of tents and little carts, but most of them were full of useless junk. Like vases and items that looked a lot like dream catchers, but they had a lot more detail. If I were allowed to use the gil in our stash, I would've bought souvenirs for all of my friends back at home, but then I thought about the many little white lies I would've told them, like where I got the crap in the first place. I couldn't just say I got them from Thailand or the Bahamas. Besides, I was currently missing in my world. If I said I went on some sort of vacation, they would be more confused then ever.

Calling this adventure a vacation by the way? Ha!

"Here." Basch said. "The Temple Grounds."

The Temple Grounds were humongous. There were many dome-shaped buildings with lots of stairs, like the stairs Rocky ran up in the movie series…except on steroids. There were lots of guys in priestly outfits, and some regular people walking around as if the place were a shopping mall.

"Holy stool," I exclaimed. "What a place!"

"But where's the one with the Gran Kiltias?" Yuko suddenly came up from behind me.

"There's so many buildings, we might end up in the wrong one by accident." Penelo stated.

"Leave it to me, y'alls!" I jumped out in front of everyone, putting a fist to my chest. "Let Raithwall's Told Legend show ya what you're looking for—!"

"This way." Ashe walked right past me as I stood in my stance. Everyone else walked past me, leaving me standing there, my fist still pasted to my chest.

"Sheesh." I sighed, following the rest of the pack.

I knew exactly where we were going as we continued further through all the stairs and buildings and stuff. After about five minutes of following Miss Moodalicious (Ashe), we finally reached the biggest dome building of the bunch. The building where the Grand Kiltias Anastasis was.

We climbed up the oh-so-many stairs, which knocked a lot of energy out of me as soon as we reached the top of the stairs, and we were now inside of a beautiful building. It reminded me of the Lincoln memorial at Washington D.C, except Abe wasn't in there and it was A LOT more spacious and fanciful.

And there, standing with wrinkled eyes tightly shut, was the Gran Kiltias himself.

We all walked closer to get a better view of him.

"Is he sleeping?" I heard Vaan ask Penelo behind me.

"Shh!" Penelo shushed.

"No, my child." An old man's voice echoed throughout the giant hall. Me, Vaan, Yuko, and Penelo jumped at this.

"Holy shiz!" I said.

"I do not sleep." The voice ringed again. "I only dream. Reality and illusion are a duality; they are two parts of a whole. The mirror of dreams is what reflects the truth, and the truth only."

Ashe stepped forward.

"Gran Kiltias Anastasis, my name is—,"

"Hush." Anastasis interrupted. "Ashelia, daughter of Raminas, I have already dreamt your dream. Who better to carry on the Dalmascan line than she who bears the Dawn Shard? Your dream of a kingdom restored is already known to me."

This time, Larsa stepped forward.

"Gran Kiltias," He said. "Then give us your blessing. Grant Lady Ashe her accession—,"

"I don't suppose this is something you might reconsider?" An unfamiliar voice appeared from behind us.

Turning around, I saw the suddenly familiar figure. I have seen him in the game a couple of times, and his name was a cinch to remember.

Al-Cid Margrace.

He was there, with a sick pair of sunglasses on him, two ladies beside him. What a pimp.

He was a bad boy. Fo sho.

I thought he was going to talk to Larsa or Ashe first, like in the game, but I was a bit surprised to see him look towards me. At first, I didn't know he was looking right at me through his dark sunglasses, but I had the feeling that someone was peering at me through the darkness of shades. And…well…he was the only person in the Hall of Light wearing shades at the moment. He walked over to me, adjusting his glasses to get a better look at me. Half of his eyes were shown, and his face got closer to mine.

He had a smell on him that eerily reminded me of Axe body spray.

"You have something about you." He said.

Making no sense much?

"Um…" I cocked an eyebrow, thinking of something to respond to this puzzling saying.

"What do you know about the Dynast-King, may I ask?"

"He's the king of…Dynast?" Yes. That answer was too stupid beyond words. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ashe rub her temples in annoyance and, again, slight disgust.

Suddenly, he grabbed my shoulders, spun me around a few times until I stopped.

"Whoa, what the hell?" My head spun in dizziness. "What is this, pin the tail on the donkey? This isn't a birthday party, man!" He suddenly yanked off my hoodie, where he began inspecting my back. I could tell because I felt his breath on my bare skin, giving me goosebumps and chills. Besides, it was cold outside, making me twice as icy.

"I thought so." I heard him say. He handed me back my hoodie.

"Hey, thanks for stripping me, freak-a-zoid." I said with sarcasm.

"You're welcome, Legend."

Oh…he was only inspecting my strange marking on my back. Tis all.

"Wait just a second," I suddenly shouted. "How'd you know that I was the Legend when you just walked in the room?"

"Lucky guess." Al-Cid winked.

Okay. This guy's already creeping me out, and I've only met him for about a minute.

Al-Cid handed his pair of sunglasses to one of his chick servants and walked up to Ashe and Larsa, like what he was supposed to do in the game before involuntarily peeling off my favorite hoodie.

"My little emperor-in-waiting. You called and I have come." Al-Cid said to Larsa, patting his head like a puppy dog. Larsa didn't seem very fond of the patting on his head, and he lightly shook Al-Cid away from patting any further.

"This is the man I wanted you to meet," Larsa said to Ashe. "He is a member of the noble House of Margrace, rulers of the Rozarrian Empire."

"Ha! I am but one of the many! Try as I might, I could not stop this war alone…" Al-Cid exclaimed. "Thus I came seeking Larsa's assistance."

Now, you're probably re-thinking yourself through at this moment. For example, you might be thinking:

When the hell did Larsa talk about this creepy, sunglasses-wielding guy?

He never did to me.

Remember at the village of Jahara (chapter 12) when Yuko and I stumbled upon Larsa and Yuko and Larsa reunited as brother and sister? Well, before those touching moments happened between the ever-so-darling siblings, Larsa and Ashe were speaking in private. That was probably when Larsa mentioned this whack job.

This also answers why he traveled with us to Mt. Bur-Omisace anyway.

Now, back to this!

Al-Cid then looked at Ashe. He walked over, bent down on one knee and, you guessed right, he kissed it. Penelo cringed in some awkward-ness and disgust. Good, she wasn't the only one who was finding Al-Cid somewhat of a creeper.

"I see it is true after all," Al-Cid said, in a strangely just-changed-the-course-and-mood-altogether seductive tone of voice. "Stunning is Dalmasca's desert bloom."

Just when I was about to say 'Ha, that sucks for you, Ashe!' Al-Cid stood up and turned to me.

Aw, crap. Why does this always happen?

"But the Legend," He said, going down on one knee. I flinched in the same awkward-ness Penelo had previously. "I was not expecting something so young and adolescent as this. What I thought was that something like Raithwall's Told Legend would be hunched over and…golden…if you know what I mean."

"Are you saying that you thought I was an old lady?" I asked with gritted teeth clenched together.

"Proper." Al-Cid nodded his head, ready to press his lips on my hand.

"Look here, creep-a-thon," I heard myself blurt out, moving my hands to my hips. "I've been in Ivalice for a little over a week now, and I lost count for how many guys came up to me and kissed my hand." I wanted to cough and put Basch's name in between the coughing, but I left that out. It was for the sake of Basch's reputation after my little statement with Monsieur creep-fest. "Do you honestly, honestly, honestly think that I need another one to make me go bananas?" I didn't have time to think of any other synonym for the word honestly. I was that frustrated.

Al-Cid looked at me for a very long time.

"Do you think that one more honorable kiss to your royal hand will make you go mad?"

"Do you think a haircut and some waxing will make your appearance less creepy?"

I wanted to hear an "OOOHHHHHH, SNAP!!" in the background…but this was Ivalice…people act too serious to do that.

"Fuu." Yuko stepped forward. "That's enough."

Since when do five-year olds tell you what to do? Yuko was an exception.

"Whatever." I sighed. Al-Cid glanced over at Yuko, and Yuko stared up at Al-Cid. One glance turned into a full-out staring contest. He moved closer up to Yuko, who stood perfectly still like a statue in a park on a lovely spring day. He bent down, and Yuko hesitantly stepped backwards.

"You look familiar." He softly said to Yuko. She said nothing and looked immeasurably uncomfortable.

"There must be a mistake, sir," She mumbled to him. "I have never seen you before in my life." Al-Cid squinted his eyes as he continued to stare at Yuko-chan, who looked twice as uncomfortable as before.

"Hey." Jude walked up. "Are you going to have a talk with this guy or not? Stop getting distracted." Al-Cid glanced at Jude, once more at Yuko, and then walked over to the Gran Kiltias. For once, I was proud of Jude, which I know is going to be rare for the rest of this journey.

"Anyway…" Al-Cid sighed.

"In Archadia, Larsa. In Rozarria, Al-Cid. They dream not of war. Should empire join with empire, they way will open for a new Ivalice in our time." Anastasis spoke.

"Hah, Gran Kiltias! You speak much of dreams. But in the real world, war is upon us." Al-Cid exclaimed. Ashe suddenly stepped forward.

"Gran Kiltias, I was told my coming here would prevent this war. I was to assume my father's throne and announce the restoration of Dalmasca…treat with the Empire for peace, and persuade the Resistance to stay their hand. I have not come all this way to be asked to reconsider!" She said.

"A word from you and the Resistance would stop cold…and Rozarria's pretext for joining the war…scattered, off to the four winds. This was what we had hoped. Alas, circumstances change. A full two years have passed since your reported death. Were it to become known you were still alive…I fear it could only worsen our current situation." Al-Cid stated.

"Because," Ashe sulked her head a bit. "I am powerless to help."

"Now, now, now," I walked over to Ashe. "That kind of attitude just won't do." She looked up at me with a look of annoyance. I guess she wasn't expecting me to comfort her…especially since I annoyed the crap out of her and all.

"It is true, Legend. Do not use comforting words to smooth the edges."

"Listen, Ashe," I cleared my throat. I realized that all eyes were on me, so I had to think of something good to say. "You keep taking this entire situation seriously, which is fine and dandy, but you're doing it with overdose. In other words, you need to stop putting yourself down and putting everything all on you. You aren't the only person in Ivalice, you know. Think of what everyone else out there is facing at the moment."

"I am the Princess of Dalmasca!" She suddenly shouted at me. "I must take this situation at the fullest gravity! I know others of Dalmasca and other regions are relying on this war to end, but you are saying unswervingly to my face that I am being egotistical!"

"No one's being egotistical here, Ashe." I sighed. "I'm just saying that if you pressure yourself to the point where you don't think you can do anything good for this world, then that's just wrong and…stupid!"

"Are you calling me a fool?" Ashe squinted her eyes into a glare.

"No, no, no, no!" I waved my hands in front of me. "Not at all! I'm just telling you to stay calm and don't put the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"You just need to be silent." Ashe turned away from me and back to the Gran Kiltias. "Do not try to assist my frame of mind, because your acts are a waste of time and only aggravate." I stood there, looking down at my sneakers. I really felt like a pile of crap now, because not only did Ashe yell at me again, but she also insulted me. A Princess insulted me. Ashe is no Snow White who talks to squirrels and birds…she's…kind of a bitch.

"It has little to do with you, Princess." Al-Cid finally spoke up after some silence.

"Then what? If Lady Ashe were to extend her hand in friendship…perhaps I could then persuade the Emperor. His Excellency will solve things peacefully—" Larsa stepped forward again. But Al-Cid interrupted him.

"The Emperor Gramis is no more…his life…was taken."

Larsa stood there cold. His breath stopped and turned into a gasp.

"Father!"

I then looked down at Yuko, who was standing there slightly quivering. I knew she was upset, but her reaction wasn't as dramatic as Larsa's.

"Let us suppose you approach the Empire with a peaceful resolution. The late Emperor Gramis would have lent you his ear… that much is certain. But we are dealing with Vayne Solidor. Should the Princess return, he would claim her an imposter. All to tempt the Resistance into battle. Vayne wants this war… that much is certain. As our ill luck would have it, the man is a military genius." Al-Cid said. Military genius? More like a total moron douchebag that needs his ass whooped.

"The dreams have told me thus. To reveal yourself would imperil us all. I see war, and Vayne's name writ bold on history's page." Anastasis said.

"That's not going to happen just because you say so Professor Dumbledore!" I made yet another outburst (Out of story: Doesn't Anastasis remind you of Dumbledore a bit? That's why I put that in there…). "A hundred years from now when kids are at school studying about Ivalice's history, I would be disgusted if I had to write a damn essay about Vayne Solidor! The only time his name is going to be written down is on the gold medal of 'Ivalice's Biggest Jackass'!"

Suddenly, quicker than the speed of light, Anastasis opened his eyes.

"You wish to stop Vayne and this war, Legend of Raithwall? Truly words spoken by one selected by Raithwall…"

"Well…" I fixed my posture. "I am the Legend of Raithwall, aren't I?" I looked over at Ashe in pride, and she did not look happy at all…considering that I beat her to making Anastasis open his eyes anyhow.

"You must seek the other power of Raithwall left." Anastasis said.

"Does such a thing exist?" Ashe asked.

"Journey across the Paramina Rift…enter the Stilshrine of Miriam…there you will find the Sword of Kings…it can cut through Nethicite." Anastasis responded. Ashe nodded her head and began walking away. She stopped when she looked at Larsa, who hadn't moved an inch. Poor kid. I don't blame him for being upset.

"Thanks for everything, Gran Kiltias." I waved goodbye. He did nothing. The rest of us left, but I looked back to see Yuko walking over to Larsa.

"Larsa…" She said softly. "There is nothing more we can do here—…"

"Leave me." He said. Yuko gasped and stood there for a bit, but then she looked down at the ground and nodded her head slowly. She turned around and walked over to me.

"I don't think Larsa will be accompanying us any longer." Yuko sighed. I patted her head.

"It's okay, Yuko," I said. "Our party is pretty crowded anyway."

"You." Ashe came up to me. Aw, crap. "I cannot believe the Dynast-King would select a ridiculous girl like yourself. Embarrass me and embarrass Raithwall once more and we will rid of you."

"I wasn't embarrassing Raithwall! And sorry if I embarrassed you, but I was just saying what I needed to get out of my system for a while now!"

"You say disgraceful things about the Solidor clan! Even if Vayne wants this war to proceed as is, you should not—!"

"You would want to say the same, too! Admit it! I know you have to use your manners 24/7 because you're the Princess of Dalmasca and all, but everyone around you thinks that! I am not afraid to speak my mind, if you haven't noticed already, and if you don't like it, then why do you even bother talking to me?"

Ashe stood there quietly, with looks of anger spread all over her face.

"Easy now," Balthier walked up to us. "That is enough arguing, you two." I'm not kidding you on what happened next…in perfect unison, our fingers pointed to each other, and like an old cartoon, we both said:

"She started it!"

Something Ashe would not say that she did say.

Balthier was quite amused with that with a small twinkle in his eye, but he then took my shoulders and walked me over to where everyone else was. Ashe still stood there, and I felt her beady little eyes glaring at the back of my head.

"Come on, everyone," Balthier said. "To the Stilshrine of Miriam."

To be continued in chapter nineteen!!

Phew…this is finally done!

I feel kind of bad for interrupting Anastasis and calling him Dumbledore…oh well…

See you all in chapter nineteen!!! BYE!!