"America, you have to stop doing this to yourself. Its not healthy." Japan told me.

"I don't care. MY life sucks."

"When life gets tough you shouldn't look on the dark side of everything-"

"England was the only person who understood me! He was the only person that actually cared! I LOVED HIM!" I sobbed out to Japan.

"America, I never knew you ... loved him." He said it in almost a whisper to himself.

"Yes. He- I never even told him how I felt."

"Oh.. I'm so sorry."

He got up and left, leaving me alone in the hospital bed.

"God, if you can some how hear me. Please tell me somehow how England is." I sat there in silence with no answer.

"I try everything but still get nothing. ENGLAND TALK TO ME!" Still nothing.

I cried myself asleep.

~ I was back at home, sitting on the couch. I stared blankly at the wall.

"America."

I turned around and seen him, England.

"Why? Why did you leave me?" I cried out and ran to him. He hugged me.

"I'm sorry."

"Why? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!? I LOVE YOU GOD DAMN IT! I LOVE YOU!" I cried into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry America. I would have never left you if I could have I would have stayed, you know it."

"I miss you so much England."

"And I you."~

I woke from my dream.

(It was only a dream. He was never really their. And he never will be here again. Its all my fault. I killed him off. Its all my fault. Why did my body do this to me. I finally have a different dream and it hurts me twice as worse. It got my hopes up then when I wake up it tears them down. WHY?!) I balled my fists up. (If only you were here right now. If only I could talk to you, walk by you, hug you, hold you. If only I could go to the past and stop myself. I would do anything just to have you back even if it means taking my life. I would do it, anything for you.)

I ripped the IV's from my arm and went to the bathroom. I went and ran the water till it started spilling over the edge I sat in the freezing water. (If I killed you off then I deserve the worst deaths ever.) I went and sat in the bath tub and let my body go numb. Then I breathed the water into my lungs.