Chapter 30

`Tyki

"That just sounds wrong. Younger brother? I remember that you clearly told me that I'm no concern of yours. I'm not even related to you by blood. Is it pity again as you've called it? Guilt? Or debt? Was it because Uncle Sheryl asked you to?"

Do you think of my actions that way?

"What are you talking about, Lavi? I don't-"

"Don't try to lie to me again. If you hate me then that's it. Don't bother about other things. I'd rather have the truth then your lies once more."

"I'm not lying."

I don't like lying to you. I want to tell you the real truth why those things happened but you might not even listen to me or believe me.

"I don't care, Tyki-nii. None should even matter. We're not even family. We're not related in any way."

"Won't you just listen to me? I-"

"Why? What is there left? All you say is lies and none really matters. You're not my brother or family. You're just a stranger."

I know I should have better taken control of myself but did he have to doubt me that much and even go as far as calling me a stranger?

"If you don't regard me as your brother by clearly pointing those things out, why do you still call me that way? And why pretend? Why innocently acting like before and calling me Tyki-nii? Why not just clearly point out as you are now that you are angry and hate me for those lies I've said as you pointed it out?"

"I don't want to cause trouble to them. And there's nothing wrong with pretending. You're a hypocrite to accuse me of that if you do the same most of the time."

"You're one yourself. What are you exactly feeling, Lavi? Are you angry? Sad? I can't tell and if you can't guess what I'm feeling, it's anger. Do you doubt me that much?"

"What is there to trust? You've lied to me. I'm confused and irritated. You're always that way. It's hard to know which is true. It's like as if you're character's black and white."

Tyki's eyes widened by what he said. And before he even managed to reply, Lavi had cut him off.

"All those lies. I can't understand you at all. Why do you even bother to say them when nothing changes."

Nothing is indeed changing. This argument won't even lead to anything. We're just going to end up tiring ourselves out. I'm older than him. I shouldn't get caught in this flow of anger.

"Lavi. Calm down. We both should calm down. There is no need to get so worked up. Take a deep breath. You're shaking. Calm down."

`Lavi

I couldn't understand myself. I suddenly lashed out and answered back with harsh words. I didn't mean all of it and I didn't mean to make him angry. I don't want him angry. I don't want Tyki-nii angry. I like it better seeing Tyki-nii smile but I will never be the cause of that.

I'm nothing he's to be concerned about or care. I was just a stranger taken in his family years ago and even destroyed it like I did with mine. All those that have been with me long died. I don't want Tyki-nii gone. I'll leave after doing what Bookman asked me to. I'll leave so they'll live peaceful and happy lives like before when I left. They don't need to care for a cursed child like that can't even control his anger.

If Tyki-nii didn't tell me to. I would have said more words that I didn't even mean. I would have said harsh words to him that isn't entirely true. I don't want him to get angry and hate me but I just did.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Tyki-nii. I shouldn't have raised my voice and said those words. I'm sorry, Tyki-nii."

Please don't be angry. Please don't hate me... but you already do.

`Tyki

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Tyki-nii. I shouldn't have raised my voice and said those words. I'm sorry, Tyki-nii."

Lavi, he's shaking and near crying just like before.

I'm sorry, Tyki-nii-sama. Please don't get angry.

His voice sounded similar to the time when he thought that I'd leave him because I saw his eye.

Tyki-nii, please don't leave me. I'm no monster. This eye is. Please don't leave me, Tyki-nii. Please... Please, Tyki-nii.

I can't. I can't leave you. I never wanted you to leave back then in the first place but I have to keep you safe. It isn't yet. I still have not finished what I'm supposed to do. I can't have you know yet what I'm doing and I can't let things be this way.

I have to keep a distance for now but I can't. I just can't.

`Lavi

He was silent for awhile. I knew it. He really hates me even more now. I suddenly longed those moments in the past even if they were lies yet the truth forces me back into reality. I was prepared for words that I knew I'd hate but it never came. Instead of words I'd rather deny, came a warm embrace from arms I haven't felt for a long time. They are much larger too compared to what I can remember.

"I apologize for my words and actions. You are not at fault."

"Which is true, Tyki-nii? I don't know what to believe anymore. I want to believe like before that you are kind and really care about me yet the reminder of what repeatedly happened tells me that I shouldn't believe it. Please tell me this time. Just this once so I know what I need to trust."

I can't tell anymore the difference between my wishes and reality.

"I'm sorry for everything I've done, for all the pain I've caused you. The concern for you isn't because of anyone or the feeling of guilt or pity. You are my younger brother. Blood doesn't disprove that nor do any other things. Please believe me this time."

Younger brother? I wanted this acknowledgment for a long time yet now it feels lacking. I shouldn't complain. I should be contented. Tyki-nii is back. I'm back home.

"I'll believe you this time but the moment I find out you're lying, hide or I'll kill you. Better make sure you're not. I won't be able to take it if you did. You're my nii-sama after all," I said cheerfully and played once more the persona of my childish ways. I couldn't tell though. I must be doing it myself.

"And you are my little otouto."

"Not little anymore."

"I'm still taller than you."

"That's cause you're older, old man."

"I'm not that old."

"You are."

"Let's go. We might get another scolding," he said while letting go. I can't believe it was that long.

"It's fine. I'm glad to have my nii-sama back," I said with a cheerful smile. I really do feel happy somehow despite what happened.

"And I, you."

"You sound like a romanticist old geezer."

"You're being childish."

"Don't care."

"Let's just go home."

"Yeah, I'm real sleepy."

And very excited to go home.

`littlebunny1412: Thanks for reading. This is a chapter longer than the usual or rather for me it is since it's more than my average thousand words per chapter. I really worked hard for it for you guys. It's thanks to your kind reviews. I seriously never thought I could reach more than ninety reviews, ninety three to be exact for twenty-nine chapters. That is just something for me to be glad about and thankful for.

I don't know if I'm pushing it but can it reach a hundredth for this chapter? I might update soon with so much love for you guys and the characters. If it doesn't, I still feel the same way. It's just that I've a busy schedule still unlike before. I'll try to find time to update this soon but I'm not sure since I usually alternately update with my other fanfic. and other things I do. Thanks again for reading.

Otouto (Japanese) - usually called towards a younger sibling. Please do correct me if I'm wrong. I don't really know the language well.

And thanks to 'PINKhairedBADASS', 'You Still Love Me' and 'Lifepaw' for reviewing ^_^ Your reviews are greatly appreciated as always.

01/17/2012