A/N: Hello, SkywardWriter's bro again. I searched her coat and actually found a can of axe in there. It belonged to her boyfriend. It belongs to me now. I be evils!Mwahahahaha! Enjoy!

Chapter 9: Never steal from a live dragon!

When we left the in, we were given fifteen ponies to ride on to the mountain. One small problem. There were sixteen of us. Sadly, my brother decided to be a jerk and force me to walk. After a few minutes of walking, I was suddenly lifted up onto a pony. I looked at the dwarf who had picked me up and forced myself not to blush as I recognized Thorin's face behind me.

When we finally reached our destination, Nick had serious cramps and began to walk off in an attempt to ease his pain. A few minutes after he wandered off, I was sent to look for my pathetic twin. When I found him, he tackled me to the ground and began searching my coat for chocolate. Insanely enough, he found everything but the chocolate," Shirt, shirt, shirt, hair tie, brush!... Axe? Really? Girl axe? You cannot be serious. Who carries this around in their pocket?"

I snatched back the little can of smelly-good-stuff and shoved it back into my pocket," Obviously, I do," I snapped, shoving everything else back into my pockets before dragging Nick back to the dwarves by his hair.

Nick and I arrived in time to see the dwarves shove open a door into the mountain," Well, that's a lovely thing to come back to see," Nick said in French," A bunch of hot, sweaty men all shoving and groaning OOF!" he yelped as I kicked him to the ground.

The dwarves all turned and looked at me in confusion," Sorry, my brother's an idiot," I sighed, planting my foot firmly in my brother's spleen. The dwarves all shrugged and nodded their heads.

The dwarves then stated at the open door for a good long time until I suddenly became impatient and snapped at Bilbo to hurry it up and go into the tunnels. For the first time in my time with the company Bilbo glared at me, stomped over to me, and poked my stomach in anger as he said that I could do it if I was so eager for someone to enter Smaug's domain. Unbeknownst to the others, Bilbo slipped the Ring into a pocket of my coat as he shoved me towards the open door in the mountain," Fine, I'll handle this on my own!" I snapped with mock anger. I gave the hobbit a small wink as I turned and disappeared into the dark tunnel.

After several minutes of walking along in the dark, I became nervously and slipped on the Ring as I approached a dim light up ahead. As the light grew brighter, the tunnel grew hotter until I reached Smaug. The giant scaly beast was terrifying, beautiful, and hideous all at the same time. Luckily for me, the monster was asleep and then I saw it. A chain-shirt of mithril. I quickly and quietly stuffed the beautiful shirt into one of my pockets then grabbed a large, golden goblet filled to the brim with jewels and ran as quietly as I could back to the entrance.

The dwarves, Bilbo, and my brother were all ecstatic to see me and the treasure that I had stolen. I then snuck off into the bushes where I slipped off my dark green shirt and slid on the mithril over my black tank-top. I then pulled my shirt and coat back on then returned to the dwarves who were all passing around the treasure.

I then strode over to Bilbo and plopped down next to him," I'm gonna borrow your ring for a bit, m'kay?" He nodded quickly then turned to me with questions obvious on his face," Yes, Smaug is huge and terrifying and ugly, and I'm pretty sure I saw a weak spot in his scales," I said before he could ask," And I probably will regret laughing at a live dragon in a few minutes," I thought to myself.

Bilbo gulped and opened his mouth to say something then was cut off as a furious roar sounded inside the mountain. I gulped and looked past the dwarves into the tunnel and said," Well, that'll be Smaug waking up from his nap."

The ponies scattered, and Nick came running back with Bofur and Bombur," What on earth was that?" Nick gasped, looking around in terror.

I looked over to Thorin," Smaug is angry and probably on his way out to eat us," I said with a calm look on my face.

I then saw Smaug fly out over the valley," And that shall be the end of our poor beasts," Thorin sighed, looking out at the ponies," Nothing can escape Smaug once he's seen it."

I nodded," Into the tunnel." I said," We need to hide for a while." I lead the way into the dark tunnel and jumped when I felt someone grab my shoulder. I whipped around to see Nick who had a look that said " What have you done?" written all over his face.

I sighed and moved the collar of my shirt just enough for him to see the mithril underneath. His eyes grew huge then he grinned," Aren't you just a little thief?" he whispered. I grinned and nodded then continued in the dark until we reached Smaug's horde.

The dwarves suddenly lost any sense of composure and began looking through the treasure and pulling on bits of armor on. I smiled as they found ancient dwarven relics and the like. I turned to say something to Nick and found he was no longer by my side.

Confused, I looked around until I saw my brother pulling on a shirt of mithril. I smiled and shook my head. Of course he would search for shiny objects to wear. At times I thought he was more of a girl than I am.

Suddenly, we heard another roar as Smaug returned to the mountain," We need to go, now!" I hissed to the others.

Thorin looked around then smirked," This way, I know these by heart," he chuckled, leading the way out.

After several minutes of traveling through the dark, we found our way out of the mountain and made a small camp. The dwarves all then looked at me," So what do you suppose we do now, master thief?" Fili asked, sarcasm edging his words.

I thought for a moment," I'm not entirely sure, but our best bet, for now, is to lie low for a little while as we try to figure out a way to slay the dragon," I said calmly," Tomorrow, I'll sneak back into his horde and look for any weak spots in his scaly armor."

Bilbo smiled," Every worm has his weak spot as my father used to say. I'm quite sure it wasn't from personal experience though," he said, making the dwarves all relax slightly.

A/N: SkywardWriter here, my brother now carries that can of axe everywhere. I kid you not. I can smell him from here... Or is that me?