Chapter 2

He found her on the hangar deck doing maintenance on a viper with the chief. They were working in silence both completely engrossed in their tasks.

He did not go to her directly, just stayed a few paces away watching her. After all these years it still amazed him how much at home she seemed when near a viper. It was the only moment she seemed calm, at peace with herself. The expressiveness of her face, always so changing, was replaced by a mask of concentration. This place was her universe and he still had trouble comprehending how she could have left all this behind even for love.

Surprised by the sudden wave of tenderness that washed over him he almost went to her, he wanted to take her in his arms and forgot everything. But it was soon replaced by rage and self-loathing. She had toyed with his head and heart and he had spent the last year in limbo trying to rebuild his life without her in it but he still felt the urge to protect her and shield her from the world. It was pathetic, really!

A loud crash pulled him out of his thoughts; it was followed by a stream of curses that would have made a priestess blush.

"You're still as fouled mouth as ever I see."

She turned around and stared at him blankly as if he were a stranger. He stared back.

"What do you want commander?" she finally asked.

"Come to my office after your shift Captain, I'll be debriefing you." And without waiting for an answer he left.

She finally came to her senses after seeing him disappear behind the hatch. To her amazement she realized that something other than anger was filling her. Something she did not want to feel because it opened the door to her being hurt again.

Ever since her breakdown all she had felt was anger. Rage had filled her then and was slowly consuming her. She couldn't stand being touched or people being compassionate with her, all she wanted was someone to blame. All she wanted was revenge.

Sam had tried being there for her but she had pushed him away and he hadn't fought for her. They were no longer in the same place and he must have realized it, just as she had. She was alone, no one depending on her or risking being hurt because of her, and it was what she wanted.

But Lee even cold and distant had managed to threaten that protective shell. She had known that she would have to see him eventually, but not so soon. The reintegration of the survivors was not going very well; people were traumatized, small children and babies were everywhere and Lee was in charge of putting some order in that chaos. So for the moment he hadn't had time to deal with the pilots.

She heard the chief calling her.

"Captain, are you all right?"

"Yes chief everything just great!" she replied her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I got to tell my story to mister tight asses."

"We all had to; he was present for every debriefing. He asked the good questions, went straight to the point and didn't dwell on personal history. Don't worry Kara he won't let personals feeling interfere with his work. You can blame him for a lot of things but he does his job, and he does it well."

"Speaking of it, have you and Cally obtained family quarters?" She obviously wanted to change the subject and the chief having watched her struggle with herself since her return, knew better than to push her.

"No we haven't, the old lady was not built to receive families, and children even less. They're trying to determine if old quarters could be transformed in small private ones. But it'll still be a while before it's done."

"Yeah, it's pretty crowded and a damn nuisance if you want some privacy." she grumbled. They went back to work the noise preventing any further conversation.

By the end of her shift the now familiar and comforting anger was back. She knocked on the door of the tiny office that had been her own for a while, and then without waiting for an answer went in. He was sitting behind the desk frowning over some papers, so focus that he hadn't heard her. It was a scene so familiar that a pang of nostalgia hit her. Before she could continue with her observations he raised his head and looked at her.

"Reporting as ordered sir." He closed the folder in front of him and gesturing toward the only other chair of the office said:

"Take a seat Captain Thrace or should I call you captain Anders now." She couldn't detect any animosity behind that remark so as coolly as he, she replied:

"Captain Thrace will do sir."

"Do you want a drink?"

"No."

"Something to eat maybe?"

"Cut the crap Lee! I am not here to socialize, so stop playing nice!"

"Alright Captain, as you wish." His tone was no longer cool but distant and cold. Good that what she wanted, no feelings just facts. "Give me your report on what happened to you during your time on New Caprica, starting with the arrival of the cylons." She felt trapped; she did not want to talk about it. So she chose to attack, after all it was the best defensive strategy, wasn't it?.

"Ah yes, that famous day" she snarled "the day you decided to leave us to die on that rock without even trying to fight." She saw a flicker of annoyance in his eyes, but he didn't take the bait.

"I am not asking your opinion about my decisions captain."

"Yes of course. It would be so hard to question them." Her rancor was undeniable and all the doubts that had tortured Lee since that day came back in full force.

But he also knew Kara, so he pressed on.

"Look, I am not here to fight with you so you might as well get on with it, because neither of us will be leaving this room as long as you haven't given me your report." She stayed silent and fixed him with a stubborn expression. Then raised her legs and put her boots on his desk, her whole being telling him to do his best. She was acting like a sulking teenager, her reaction was totally irrational and she knew it. But what she had lived in that cell was something private, all she wanted to do was forget it had ever happened.

"Kara." He had said it so softly that she barely heard him. It was the fist time he had called her by her name in a very long time. He was looking at her as if he could read her soul, but there was no pity in his gaze and that's what did the trick. She started talking, he did not interrupt. She gave military facts no more no less, and even thought curiosity was eating at him he did not ask her to elaborate. When she explained about Kacey he glimpsed so much pain in her eyes, he was convinced that she was going to cry. She didn't. The pain was replaced by rage immediately, and that scared him. He had seen Kara go through a lot of crap but she had never been like that, hating and resenting the whole world.

Deciding that she had told him enough he proceeded to safer topics, their pilots, flight schedules and so on. When she left the office two hours later, a basic organization of the squadron had been established and Lee hoped she would be able to deal with the inevitable rift that had been created between the pilots who had stayed on board and the ones who had left.

TBC