Chapter 3-

Blair wakes up the next morning to Dorota and Paul eating breakfast.

Paul is asking her questions about Poland and why she left. Paul is also asking Dorota to bring her children over because he wants to meet them. Paul has no friends in New York yet and he fully intends on changing that. Dorota promises to bring her kids over sometime in the week.

Eleanor comes in, splatters the top of Paul's head with small kisses, asks him, "How was your first night in New York?" He sheepishly tells her that he misses Paris, but New York is nice.

Eleanor scoffs and says, "Surely we can get New York up higher in your esteem!" When she sees Blair come down she tells Dorota to take Paul to the pond to feed the ducks.

Blair gets Paul dressed to go out and kisses his forehead telling him that watching Dorota feed the ducks was one of her favorite things to do when she was younger. Dorota sticks out a shakey hand for Paul to take and Blair realizes that her illness affects her sweet maid more than she could ever imagine.

And why not? Dorota was her playmate, her confidante and at times, her conscious. She tried to mold Blair into a reasonable human being for much of her life, though Blair always waved off her attempts. She never gave up on Blair.

Dorota was more than a maid to Blair and Blair was more than an employer to Dorota. Blair's heart broke knowing how hard this had to be on her.

When Dorota and Paul finally get on the elevator, Eleanor turns to Blair.

"Have you told Dan Humphrey yet about Paul?"

Blair sighs, "I wrote a letter to him the night I found out. I told him I would get in touch with him when I got back to New York"

"Well what did he say?"

"I didn't leave a return address for him…. I wasn't ready to face his questions and anger yet… even if it was on paper"

Eleanor looks at Blair with a disapproving look. Blair can almost read the thought in her head. How ashamed she is that Blair did this, how Dan Humphrey deserved to know Paul exists. It's a conversation they've had many times on many long-distance phone calls.

Blair looks at her mom and starts up again, "Knowing Dan Humphrey, he probably wants to meet Paul…"

Eleanor just nods her head and changes the subject, seeing how uncomfortable her daughter is.

She tells Blair about her new collection and how excited she is to have Paul walk down the runway with her at the end of her show.

Blair smiles and starts laughing, remembering the first time she walked down with her mother. She became frightened and ran off the catwalk crying into Dorota's arms. Harold found her, took them both out for ice cream and brought them back to the penthouse.

The memory just makes Eleanor sad and misty eyed.

Blair gets up from the table before Eleanor can start talking about the mass on Blair's brainstem.

Eleanor knows how hard it is for Blair right now. Blair had always been so in control and to know that all her plans may be jeopardized was hard for her to fathom. She knew that Blair had started a list of things for Paul. Things that she hopes he will accomplish. Graduating as class valedictorian from Yale was on top of there. But at number one, there is just a simple phrase. "1. Be Happy."

Eleanor tells Blair that she's going to go meet up with Dorota and Paul at the pond and hopefully take Paul out and show him how superior New York is to Paris. Blair chuckles and tells her to make sure she gives him the history of the place, Paul loves history.

Blair spends the rest of the morning getting ready to face her first real day since her return to New York. First a meeting with her new oncologist to discuss the new round of treatment for her growing mass. She's told that it's going to be hard and that she will feel sick and terrible for most of the time. She's also told she will lose her hair. Blair could care less about her vanity; all she wants is time with Paul. She's told honestly that she is not suitable for surgery and all they can hope for is remission. All she can do is nod. She expected it.

Blair steps out of her appointment and steps into the car waiting outside for her. She decides it's time to start rebuilding bridges… It's important for Paul. She starts with the number Eleanor gave her.

The phone is answered after the second ring, "Lily Humphrey."

"Hi Lily, It's Blair…"

"… Blair… It's ….. good to hear from you. Dan told us you would be back in town, and about the letter you sent him."

Blair is thankful that Lily is tactful enough to not tell her how angry everyone is at her.

"Yeah, I'm guessing Dan told you about Paul."

"Yes. You know you've broken a lot of hearts with that letter… But everyone wants to meet him, especially Rufus…"

"I'd like that…"

There is an uncomfortable pause and finally Lily speaks up, "I suppose you'd like Daniel's number?"

Blair jolts at hearing his name and can only nod… then realizes that she's on the phone and mutters a "yes."

Lily rattles off his number, tells her that she would like a chance to meet up with her and Eleanor, tells Blair that while she is angry at Blair for hiding Paul from them, she still loves Blair and thinks of her as family.

Blair squeezes her eyes shut as she feels tears well up. Clears her throat and tells Lily that she loves her too… Then she asks for Serena's number.

Lily gives her the number but warns Blair, "Serena was very mad at you for what you did before you left… We all were, so you can't expect a lot. But I know deep down she loves you and when you left New York you left a big hole in Serena's life."

Blair thanks Lily and hangs up. She silently cries in the back of the town car as she thinks of one of the greatest loves of her life… Serena Van Der Woodsen, her best friend and biggest rival.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

It takes a week for Blair to finally gather the courage to call Dan. She'd like to pretend that Dan still doesn't know she's back, considering Gossip Girl gave up on their circle when they got too old and too boring. She spends more of her time now chronicling the new "Blairs" and "Serenas" that Constance churns out.

But she knows better and knows that Lily has told Dan about their conversation. She resolves herself to just get it over and done with… But why did she have to make up her mind today?

She's just come home from her first round of Chemotherapy. She feels awful and wants nothing more than to call Eleanor and beg her to keep Paul for the next two days while she throws the blankets over her head and hibernates. But the old Blair would have been that selfish… Or maybe she would have just met her obstacles head on.

Blair can't remember which Blair she really is. The high school Junior standing on a Helo-Pad with a Helicopter ready to run away from New York after her fall from grace over Chuck and Nate… Or maybe she's the young woman who picked herself up after watching Chuck start to fall for Raina Thorpe… The young woman whose heart broke there, in front of Dan Humphrey of Brooklyn no less, but the very woman who carried on her crazy internship… that is until she crashed into the ground and almost got her BFF's mom arrested. Life is messy like that. Scratch that, life WITH Blair is messy like that.

Blair has the phone in her hand and feels a wave of Nausea take over. She can't decide if it's because of the Chemo or because of the fact that she's going to have to face Dan. She figures she'd better take the Anti-Nausea meds she picked up from the Pharmacy earlier in the week. Either way, she doesn't want to wretch while talking to Dan Humphrey.

As she dials in the number she realizes her hands are shaking. God she's so scared.

He of course, lets the phone ring 6 times before he answers. She imagines he's in his loft and being the perpetual mess he is, has to dig through a stack of papers before he can find his cell phone.

"Dan Humphrey."

She feels a part of her heart crumble hearing his voice, but braces herself and answers, "Hello Humphrey…. It's Blair…"

She hears him breath in sharply and can almost feel the malice coming through the other line of the phone… He doesn't say anything.

She takes in a deep breath and tries to make small talk, he remains silent on the other side of the phone. She doesn't blame him.

Finally she asks him, "Would you like to meet Paul?"

He speaks, and it's so soft that Blair can barely make it out, "We all do."

She realizes he's talking about Rufus and Jenny. She swallows hard thinking about Paul meeting Jenny. If there is one Humphrey that Blair could care less about it's Jenny, because she still childishly blames Jenny for her exodus from New York. But deep down Blair knows it's more than that; she's terrified about what Jenny will tell Paul about her. She's afraid that Jenny may tell Paul the true story about his mom and all the horrible things that Blair did in her youth.

"Well I think that might be a little too much for him right now. Let's start off with you first and then we can get him acquainted with the rest of the Humphrey clan".

The rest of the conversation is tense, filled with short answers from Dan. He agrees to come over to the penthouse while Eleanor and Cyrus are there tomorrow. She says goodbye to him and is answered by the click signaling that he has hung up. She stares at the "call ended" screen on her phone and thinks back to the many times she had done the same to him.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Dan is on his way over and Paul is fighting Blair. He doesn't want to have to dress up to meet Mommy's friend Dan Humphrey. He's tired, he's cranky, and he misses his playmates in Paris. Blair firmly tells him that he is going to wear what she has picked out and he will be cordial to her friend.

She's not surprised when he comes down the stairs to greet Dan Humphrey wearing a t-shirt and some ratty pants he loves to lounge around the house in. She shoots him a warning glance but he just brushes it off. He knows his mom won't do anything in front of guests.

Eleanor and Cyrus are hovering in the background, more observers really than players. They don't even say hello to Dan Humphrey when he enters, he doesn't acknowledge them either. All eyes are on Paul.

Paul sizes up his mom's friend, he doesn't dress like most of his mom's friends, or even look like any of his mom's friends, but he seems interested in Paul.

Blair can barely look at Dan.

Dan finally speaks up and says, "Hello Paul, my name is Dan, I'm really happy to meet you."

Paul just stares at him, he doesn't know why, but there is something very familiar about Dan Humphrey and he starts to feel uncomfortable.

Blair steps up behind Paul, puts her hand on his shoulders and says, "Paul, this is your father."

Paul continues to stare at Dan and backs up. He backs up until he is standing on Blair's Manolo clad feet.

"Paul, you know you should be polite when you first meet someone." Blair says gently, but firmly.

Paul nods his head and sticks out his hand. "Hello Mr. Humphrey."

Dan shakes it and starts asking Paul questions. He answers cautiously and politely. Dan asks Paul if he would like to spend some time with him in Brooklyn. Paul just shrugs, then turns to his mom and grandparents and asks if he can be excused. Blair nods and tells him yes.

Dan watches as he runs up the stairs to his room.

Blair just hugs herself. She feels awful that this first meeting has been so uncomfortable for both of them, but what could she expect? She is the reason they were strangers until now.

Eleanor and Cyrus excuse themselves and leave the penthouse, knowing that there are things Blair and Dan need to discuss. Eleanor kisses Blair on the forehead and tells her softly to be brave. Blair feels cold. She's not sure if it's a side-effect from the Chemotherapy or from the icy glare Dan Humphrey is throwing her way.

Finally he says to her, "You know I never thought it was possible for me to think any less of you after what you did to Jenny and Nate, but this? This goes way beyond the pale!" he spat. "I can't think of any other person that is as disgusting as you are."

She's taken back by his words. She never knew Dan to be vicious and was about to make a snappy reply, but swallowed her retort when she realized that she deserved it. This is how she had made Dan Humphrey.

She starts to feel small and feels as though she may start shivering.

When Blair finally looks at Dan all she can see is how furious he is with her. His hands are clenched at his side and every muscle in his body is tense.

Blair finally takes in a shaky breath and sadly nods her head and whispers "I'm sorry."

Dan storms out.

I dunno when I'll get the next chapter up. I've got an exam this week and two major projects so it may be a while before I get another chapter up. Like I said, it's going to be a bit angst-y for a while. I think it's important that Blair goes through everyone's anger with her. I LOVE how Dan Humphrey is quick to forgive on the show, but I also kind of feel that sometimes it's unrealistic. Not to worry though, it's not always going to be gloomy/moody chapters (or so I don't think it will be, like I said, I'm just letting it play out as I write it). I have a certain ending in mind, I just hope it doesn't take me 20 chapters to get there, lol.

Thanks for reading!