Chapter 5
They had been aboard Cloud Nine for two weeks now. Kacey was slowly accepting the loss of her mother. During the day she was her normal lively self, running around, bouncing on the beds, playing hide and seek and discovering new things. She actually was quite a handful. The nights were a lot more difficult, she often woke up screaming and sobbing "mama" over and over again her whole body trembling like a leaf. The first time Kara had felt completely hopeless. Kacey's terror echoed in her like a long buried memory of her own childhood. She had taken the little girl in her arms rubbing her back and whispering small nonsense to her until she had felt her relax. The nightmare forgotten she had gone to sleep. Kara had spent the rest of the night holding the small warm body letting the overwhelming feeling of love she felt whenever she was near Kacey invade her. In the morning she had reach a decision. This was the kind of life she wanted for Kacey, grass, sun and (almost) fresh air. But with her stay here she had also come to realize that this was artificial. It was a brilliant façade, like a shinny bibelot that attract the eye but when you took a closer look was in reality a fake. Kacey would be happy everywhere if she had someone to watch over her.
And maybe the Admiral was right and it was what she needed too: someone to watch over her. She had thought that everything would be ok if she left Galactica. That the nightmares would stop. That her rage would abate and the restlessness go away. It hadn't. Obviously cutting people out of her life did not resolve any problems. Running away and building walls around her were her defense mechanisms since childhood and they were the reasons she had survived until now. But she was so tired of being alone. She had received the official papers dissolving her marriage ban. Sam was a good man who she was sure had loved her but she had come to accept that when it got too complicated people tended to simply leave. Her mother had often told her that she was not worth fighting for and maybe it was true.
The only persons who had tried to had either died or gotten hurt. That was why down on New Caprica when Lee had gotten too close, had made her confess her love for him, she had chosen to leave him, had chosen betrayal in the hope that it would protect him from her. But she missed him, missed his friendship, the way he always put up with her crap, hell she even missed their fights. The feeling had only gotten worse ever since they were no longer on the same ship. She wanted to be able to see his face everyday to reassure herself that he was alive and well even if he despised her. She longed to hold him in her arms, to stroke his hairs and burry her face in his neck, to simply let go… She had given him up to keep him safe but what if the choice had not been hers to make?
When they had boarded the raptor that would take them to the luxury liner he had stood on one of the platform overlooking the hangar deck, watching her interact with the blond toddler. He had never thought he would want children someday but all of a sudden he had wanted to be part of the picture they painted. A family, that was what they were and he ached to be part of that family.
If not for his father he would not even had known she was leaving. When he had informed him of Kara desire to quit the military he had been livid with rage. She was running away from her difficulties once again and once again he was going to be left behind. In going to the hangar deck his intention had been to catch her before she left and let loose his anger. All the way down he had heard echoing in his ears his father parting words: "Don't be too hard on her. Being responsible for another human being's life is something new to her; she wants to do her best." he had paused and almost sadly added "She is lost, has been lost for a long time now and this might be the opportunity for her to find her way. Give her some time." He had not wanted to believe him, he had only been able to feel the dreaded sense of loss he had once felt after her marriage, invade him once again, choking the breath out of him. But then he had looked down and seen the smile on her face, something he hadn't seen in more than a year and he had had to admit that his father might be right, that she needed this child to be happy, to have a purpose in life other than shooting cylons out of the sky. So he had let her go, hoping that she would come back on her own volition, whole once again.
After that episode he had realized that he could not go on denying his feelings. The gates were opened and he did not want to close them anymore. What he wanted was Kara Thrace and if he was honest with himself he had wanted her since he had first met her as his brother's fiancé.
He had used their time apart to put some order in his life. Breaking the news to Dee had been easier than he had thought it would be.
When he had walked in their quarters she had simply looked at him and whispered "It's over, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"I… I can't say it's a surprise. I always knew it would come to that sooner or latter. But you take what you can, don't you?" She had given him a disabused smile "I am glad I had you for a while."
The sadness he had read in her eyes had made him want to comfort her, but what could he say? So he had settled for a simple "I am sorry Ana. I hope we can stay friends."
Afterwards they had sat together in silence until the tension had been too much for her to take. She had left the room quietly without even one word of reproach.
The news of his upcoming divorce had spread like wildfire throughout the ship, rumors of his steamy affair with Kara Thrace were exchanged to try and explain it. Apparently they had been having wild sex in closets and in every available rooms of the ship. They had been spotted by several crew members in compromising situations and he had even heard that in some of them Kacey was his and Kara's hidden love child. It was crazy and totally out of proportion. However the apparition of several cylon's raiders the last few days had prevented him from dueling too much on the looks and sidelong glances.
The raiders' behavior was strange, they never tried to engage combat they simply went straight for the closest ship and crashed themselves on said ship. They already had undergone two attacks and the president was getting worried of the losses they had sustained. Life aboard civilian ships was difficult, most of them had not been conceived for long term travels, they did not have enough space, moments of privacy were rare and it resulted in a state of permanent tension. New Caprica debacle was still fresh in all of their minds and a lot of people were not as thankful as they ought to be toward the military. People who had lost loved ones during the occupations, people who had been tortured, starved, were convinced that the military had left them behind to protect their own lives. They did not trust Galactica to defend them. The president saw those attacks as a test, if they failed then riots might erupt and they would all be in even more troubles.
"What are the reports on the last suicide run commander?"
"Two of the ships are severely damaged; we've lost thirty peoples on the first and we still have no information on the casualties aboard the second, but they will be high."
"We have to find a solution to protect those ships!" The president seemed tired. She rubbed her eyes and sat heavily on the coach of his father's quarter.
"We've already lost so many, we have to protect them we can't loose more, we just can't…" There was desperation in her words and it surprised Lee, she had always been so calm, never showing any weakness.
"Madam President, I can assure you we are doing everything in our power to do so! The fleet has been order to stay in close formation making it easier for the CAP to reach them in case of attack and to keep their FTL drive ready. We have increased the number of vipers on CAP and we've…" Lee was interrupted by the alert sirens. He was up and running to the CIC in seconds. When he arrived he asked Colonel Tight:
"How many?"
"Four, and they are heading toward Cloud Nine." The first thing that came to his mind was that Kara was on Cloud Nine and that she might soon be part of those casualties they were discussing just a few minutes ago. He grabbed the head set in front of him, his heart pounding in his chest, a feeling of helplessness filling him. He took a deep breath assuring himself that no one would be able to detect any sign of weakness in his voice.
"Hotdog, this is Appolo give me your position!"
"We are two minutes away from Cloud Nine Appolo. I got one of them in visual, but I can't see the others. Going after him sir." The line went silent for a few seconds.
"I've had him sir! Ououh…."
"They've taken three out, sir!" Gaeta said
"Hotdog do you have visual contact with the last raider?"
"Sir?"
"Can you see the last raider Constanza?" he asked a little more loudly.
"I… Negative sir! I can't see him."
"Damn it! Where is he?!"
"I got him sir, he is going straight for the artificial dome!"
"Oh frack, if he destroys that dome the ship is lost." One of the officers said.
"Hotdog can the CAP reach him in time?"
"Negative sir. He must have jumped in closer than the others. I'll try to get him out of his course, but no matter what we do he'll crash himself in the ship."
"Go a head Hotdog, acquire and destroy!" He ordered praying that he had not just signed Kara's death warrant.
TBC...