Chapter 7
Serena comes by later on in the week. She goes with Blair to her doctor's office, waits for her during her treatment, and then brings her home.
It was always like this between them.
When Blair was going to the Ostroff center for her eating disorder Serena would walk her there, wait outside, and then walk her back home.
Serena gets her into bed and when Paul comes home, she takes Paul out to eat.
They're out for a long time and Blair starts to get worried. Just as she's about to call Serena demanding to know where they are, she hears Serena and Paul come into the penthouse. Paul is giggling and asking Serena, "Do you think she'll like them?"
"What's not to like about them?" Serena asks.
They run upstairs and jump into bed with Blair. Blair see's what kept them. They bought her hats. Scratch that, they bought her tacky hats.
There's a blue ten gallon hat, a black leather hat that is studded with rhinestones, Blair thinks they must have stolen off of Lady Gaga's head, a little cap with a propeller on it, a NY Jets football helmet, and a Rastafarian cap with dreads coming out the back.
"What are these?"
"Well, Paul was saying that you were sad about your hair being gone, so I told him we should do something to rectify it. I wanted to get you some wigs. I found a FABULOUS Marie Antoinette wig, that screamed Blair Waldorf, but Paul vetoed that. He made the executive decision that you would prefer hats."
Blair starts laughing and they spend the rest of the night trying on hats. Paul decides that the Rastafarian cap with the dreads looks best on Blair and he thinks the NY Jets helmet looks best on him. Serena gets the little cap with a propeller on it. They get Dorota to take a photo of all three of them on Serena's phone.
Blair sends Dorota home early, and she puts Paul to bed. Serena watches Blair put her son to sleep and she can't believe how much Paul has changed Blair.
Serena helps Blair into bed and tells her that she will be back tomorrow morning to have breakfast with her. Blair tells her she can't wait.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Serena's at her apartment, in bed and looking through her photos on her phone of the night. She's got a good one of Paul eating spaghetti, another one of him wearing a hippie wig.
Her favorite photo though is the one of all three of them. They are on Blair's bed wearing their hats. Blair's laughing and Paul's got the silliest grin on his face, it's a grin she's seen on Dan's face many times. Before she turns out the light she sends that photo to Dan, Rufus, and Eleanor. She falls asleep smiling.
Across town, Dan pulls out the old typewriter Blair had bought him when they were dating. He kept trying to get rid of it after Blair had left New York. One less thing to remind him of how stupid he had been in loving Blair Waldorf, yet every time he tried to dump it he found himself unwilling to part with it.
She had put a lot of thought into this typewriter and had spent a fortune getting it.
It was an Olivetti 44 model, the exact same model that was a favorite of Tennessee Williams. He wasn't sentimentally attached to it, no, not after what Blair had done, but he felt it held some historical significance and he couldn't bear the thought of anyone else having it. So he locked it up in his closet.
It stayed there for 5 years, to remind him of Blair whenever he came across it, but the thought that it was safe in the loft always made him feel good. He couldn't explain it.
He smiles and runs his hand across the buttons as he thinks of how happy Blair looked when he opened the gift.
His phone alerts him that he's received a new text. He checks it and laughs when he sees the photo that Serena has sent him. He puts his phone down and puts paper in his typewriter and starts typing out his thoughts.
When he finishes typing its 4 am. It's the most he's written in the past year. His agent will be happy when she hears of his new project.
He lays down and looks at the picture Serena had sent him hours earlier. He falls asleep looking at Paul's goofy grin.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Blair is getting ready for her first society outing.
Eric is in town, during a break from shooting his TV show. Lily is throwing a big party at their place to welcome Eric home.
Paul is in Queens with Dorota and her family. He's going to stay the night while Blair goes out. He wasn't too happy about not being invited to Eric's welcome home party, a party that Serena would be at, but understands that an all-night society party is not a place for 4 ½ year olds with 8 pm bedtimes.
Blair checks herself in the mirror and decides that she looks as good as she's going to. She's wearing a simple long, black sweetheart dress with lace detailing. The dress is figure hugging and she wishes she hadn't lost so much weight, but she still manages to look good in it.
To make up for the lack of hair she wears a heavy necklace studded with diamonds. It would look gaudy on anyone else, but it goes perfectly with Blair's red lips and simple black dress.
She's one of the last to arrive at the party. She finds Serena quickly and Serena brings her to Eric.
Eric seems happy to see her and brings her into a tight embrace. Blair knows that he knows about her illness. Why she's bald and why she's so thin. She feels her chest tighten and pulls herself from the embrace.
"It's so good to see you Eric, you look good."
"You too Blair! You look…" He stops himself as he realizes what he's saying.
Blair flashes him an understanding smile.
"Well I'm just saying no one can pull off a shaved head like you can."
Blair puts her head up, sniffs, looks at Eric slyly and says, "Of course not!"
Eric laughs; appreciating that Blair can laugh and joke about his failed attempt at making small talk.
"So, where's the little Humphrey?"
"You mean Waldorf?" She corrects him, "He's in Queens with Dorota's family, and this really isn't the place for him"
Eric smiles, "Well I've heard lots about him, and I can't wait to meet him"
"He really wanted to come tonight. Maybe we can meet up sometime this week?"
"Yeah that sounds great, I'd love it."
Blair looks at Serena, squeezes her hand and goes off to look for her mother and Cyrus. While she's searching she catches a glimpse of Jenny talking to Nate and Dan.
Blair stops in her tracks and feels her heart leap into her throat. She should have known Jenny would be here, she is Rufus's daughter after all, but she can't help but feel scared when she sees her.
Jenny looks gorgeous of course. She's blonde, tall and leggy and she's stopped wearing her raccoon make up. She's engrossed in her conversation with Nate and Dan and she looks happy.
The last memory Blair has of Jenny hits her. It's Blair's ugliest moment. The one part of Blair's past that she is terrified of Paul finding out about.
She had found out through Eric that Jenny and Nate had been seeing each other on Jenny's visits to the city from Hudson. They had wanted to keep it away from Gossip Girl as they were still testing things out between them.
Jenny had decided to move back to New York. She and Nate were going to have a real go at it.
No secrets from their friends and family, and Gossip Girl could report on them if she wanted, but they didn't give a damn what anyone on the Upper East Side thought.
Blair promised Eric that she would never tell a soul. And she didn't. Not even Dan or Serena. But that didn't mean she was okay with it.
She didn't care who Nate saw, but she felt that Jenny couldn't have Nate Archibald. It was childish and Blair is embarrassed about it to this day, but back then, she fell into her old ways easily.
Back then she didn't have Paul to teach her why it was so important to be a good person and to not hurt the people around you.
She knew that Serena was harboring feelings for Nate and a plan came together in Blair's head. She would push Serena towards Nate, hopefully at a party right before Jenny came back into town, a party that Blair threw.
The plan was to get Nate drunk and have him and Serena "caught" in a few compromising positions that would be blasted to Gossip Girl.
She put ideas into Serena's head that she had caught Nate looking longingly at Serena. Serena wanted to believe it and it didn't take much for her to get hopeful about Nate Archibald.
At the party, after being told by Blair that Nate was drunk in her room, Serena went to him. But so did one of Blair's minions with a camera phone.
Needless to say the pictures were sent to Gossip Girl and Jenny was humiliated and devastated.
But she was determined to move back to the city anyways.
Nate spent all of his time trying to make it up to Jenny. She forgave him eventually.
Serena was hurt in the process.
But no one knew that Blair had been the one who had orchestrated the whole thing.
When Blair got wind of Jenny trying to launch her own line, Blair decided it was time to show Jenny just how she didn't belong in her carefully constructed circle and neither did her designs. She made sure Jenny's fashion show was a disaster. She paid all of the models to not show up.
Jenny was lambasted in all of the papers. Her career was over before it even got a chance to start.
That night Jenny almost drank herself to death.
It was horrible. Blair rushed to the hospital instantly hating herself for what she did to Jenny.
She silently negotiated with fate in that long car ride, while holding Dan Humphrey's hand, that if fate would allow for Jenny to come out of this okay she would do everything in her power to make it up to her, that she would change her ways, that she would make herself worthy of Dan Humphrey's love.
But of course that didn't happen.
Someone else was at the hospital, someone who somehow knew everything and Blair's hand in it.
Blair's stomach dropped as soon as she saw Georgina Sparks in the hallway of the ICU. She watched in horror as Georgina told everyone what Blair had done.
Dan at first didn't believe her.
He pleaded with Blair, "Tell her Blair! Tell her you didn't have anything to do with this!"
Blair couldn't look at him. She just repeated the words, "I'm sorry" over and over again.
She didn't realize that everyone had walked away from her until Chuck finally came up to her and told her to leave.
"You need to go Blair, no one wants you here."
She looked up and saw nothing but disgust in his eyes. She knew she deserved it, but it was still hard to see it coming from Chuck.
The next day Blair went to visit Dan at the loft. She was going to beg for his forgiveness.
She never thought that she would ever beg in her life, but she would do it, for Dan, she would do anything.
He opened the door and she was about to push past him into his loft, but his look stopped her.
"Dan… I'm so sorry. Please! I don't know why I did what I did. It was stupid and childish and.. I'm an awful person. But I know I can be good. Being with you has taught me that I can be good, and I want to be good. As long as I have you with me, I can be anything…"
"Stop Blair… Just stop." He said sternly.
"This is my fault really" he said sadly. "I put you on a pedestal and I fell in love with what I imagined you to be, but that's not really you. Deep down you're an ogre. A social climbing beast that doesn't care who she hurts in the process, who she might even kill to get what she wants."
She started to sob and begged him to give her a chance.
He started to close the door on her and she screamed at him, the last act of a desperate woman.
"You promised me that you would be there even if I lost everything!" Even she knew how selfish her words sounded.
"This Blair? She's my sister! What ivory tower do you think you live in? You thought that I would continue to hold your hand even after you destroyed my sister? I don't think I've ever said this to anyone, but I hate you Blair. Thank you for teaching me that people can't change; that they will always be who they were the first time you met them. First impressions are usually the most accurate!"
Blair doesn't answer him and he finally closed the door on her.
She sat in the hallway outside the loft and cried. She finally left after a few hours. After she realized that he would never forgive her. She left as broken hearted as Dan Humphrey was on the other side of that door.
When Jenny was released Blair tried to talk to Serena about it, but Serena wouldn't have any of it.
"Why Blair? Why? You knew how I felt about Nate and you used it to hurt Jenny? You manipulated me and used my feelings to hurt Jenny! How could you do this? How could you do this to me Blair?" Serena cried.
Blair could only look at her hands, gulped breaths down as she cried and shook her head.
Serena just shook her head and walked away from her.
5 weeks later she had a pregnancy test confirming her fears.
She sat on her bathroom floor feeling more alone than at any other time in her life. She grabbed at her stomach and apologized.
Blair shakes her head from the memory.
Jenny sees Blair and stops her conversation. Nate looks up and when he sees Jenny and Blair looking at each other he puts a protective arm around Jenny.
Dan who's back is to Blair, feels the tension and turns around. He watches Blair and Jenny with a careful look.
Blair puts on a brave face, gives Jenny a small smile, a very curt nod and walks off.
Dan lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in. Jenny looks away angrily, recovers, and resumes her conversation. But Dan can tell by the way that her voice trembles every now and then that the encounter has left Jenny shaken.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Blair is shaking when she finally finds her mom.
"Blair Darling! You look wonderful bald!"
Blair gives her mom a small smile, "Thank you mother"
Cyrus notices Blair's shaking hands and asks her "What's wrong Blair? You're shaking!"
"Oh, just some side effects of a new medication I'm taking, nothing to worry about. If you'll excuse me, I need to go powder my nose"
She walks off quickly to the restroom. She shuts herself in, turns on the faucet and retches until she's emptied out the contents of her stomach.
When she's done she can't believe that she used to voluntarily do this to herself. She washes her hand and rinses out her mouth the best she can and applies some lipstick. When she feels that she looks presentable enough she opens the door.
She gasps when she finds Jenny on the other side of it.
"We need to talk" she says tensely.
Blair just nods her head and follows Jenny into one of the rooms at the Van Der Woodsen/Humphrey apartment.
Jenny turns to Blair and glares at her.
Blair tries to keep eye contact with her but can't help but tear her eyes away. She's angry at herself, knowing that Jenny has won that round.
Jenny manages a hateful smile and finally says, "So, Blair Waldorf is back in town, I wonder why? Are you here to tear down my brother? Here to destroy me? Maybe ruin Chuck's marriage?" she says bitterly.
This instantly angers Blair and she looks at Jenny and sternly says, "You know very well why I'm back Jenny, don't ask questions you know the answers to."
This time it's Jenny's turn to tear her eyes away.
She should have known better. She was never as good at this game as Blair was.
Blair sighs and crosses her arms, "I suppose 'I'm sorry' doesn't cut it at this point."
Jenny can only scoff.
"Jenny, you've won! There's no need to keep doing this. I ran out of New York, stayed way for 5 years because of you. All of my friends hated me, you got to stay behind and become an important part of their lives. You and Nate are married! Please Jenny, I don't want to be friends, but can't we just be two civil adults?"
Jenny looks at her, "Civil? I won? You didn't stay away for 5 years because of me; you stayed away because of you, because you were scared!"
Blair puts her hands out and closes her eyes, "I know Jenny, I was a coward and a monster. Can't you see that I'm trying to change all that? That I'm trying to make it up to everyone, even you, I don't know how I'm going to, but I promise Jenny, I'll make it right. I just…. I just need you to be civil when we are in front of Paul. I'm not asking you to like me. Please Jenny, it's important to Paul and I think it's important to Dan as well."
Jenny looks at Blair again and can't believe that she used to be so scared of her. Blair used to be such a terrifying figure in Jenny's life. But right now, she just looks small.
"I'll do my best for Paul, but we will never be friends! And if I even feel that you are up to your old ways I won't hesitate to tell Paul what you are really like."
Blair looks at her and nods, "I swear Jenny, I will make this up to you somehow" and walks out.
Jenny stays in the room a little longer and tries to compose herself, but the truth is, she feels like fainting.
Nate eventually finds her and she puts on a fake smile.
"There you are! Dan and I have been looking for you, we were afraid you may have run into Blair."
Jenny just keeps smiling and exits the room.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Blair is mingling.
Everyone is giving her pity looks and she knows that the news of her prognosis is making the rounds. Everyone is telling her that they know a fantastic doctor and that they will forward the number to her. She thanks them politely, but really, every time someone starts talking about Dr. So & So, who's known as one of the top leading oncologists in the nation she just wants to walk away. She's not here to think about her illness, she just wants to enjoy herself and forget that she's sick. But she stands there, smiling politely, and acts gracious when they try to give her hope. She doesn't need hope, she needs time.
Eventually Blair finds her way to Eleanor. She's chatting with Rufus, Lily, and Cyrus.
Blair walks up to them, Lily gives her a hug and looks mournfully at her head. Blair just shrugs.
Rufus nods to her and gives her a small smile, "You look lovely Blair, even bald."
Blair smiles, "Thank you Rufus. I hope you all will forgive me for stealing my mother from your conversation. Mother, a word please?"
Blair pulls Eleanor aside, "Blair honey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just need you to do me a favor."
"Sure anything darling."
"I need you to take Jenny on as a designer, or apprentice, or something."
"What?" Eleanor scoffs, "Blair, I just can't hire on Jenny Humphrey and offer her a position designing for me!"
Blair bites her lip, "Please mom, I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't important. I…. I need to make things right, and you know that she has a lot of talent! You wore her design when you got married to Cyrus! Please, as much as I hate to say it, she's a part of our lives now, she's Paul's Aunt."
Eleanor sighs, looks away at Jenny Humphrey, and turns back to Blair, "Okay, I will give her a shot. Maybe she will help my line out with her fresh perspective?"
Blair smiles and grabs her mother's hand as she walks away, "Thank you mom."
Blair watches as Eleanor interrupts whatever conversation that Jenny and Nate are having and pulls Jenny aside.
She starts to feel sick and heads out onto a balcony for fresh air.
She breathes in deeply as she feels the cool night air hit her.
"I overheard your conversation with your mom."
She's surprised as she turns around and sees that Dan Humphrey has followed her out.
She narrows her eyes and asks him very tensely, "What are you, the new Vanessa Abrams?"
He tries to give her an annoyed look but he can't. He ends up smiling at her.
It almost feels like old times between them. Blair insults him, Dan takes it good naturedly, rinse and repeat.
She looks back into the party and sees Chuck watching them with a dismayed look.
She turns on her heels and looks out at the Manhattan skyline.
Dan looks back and sees Chuck. He watches as Chuck looks down and turns around and mixes with the rest of the party, but not before he looks at Blair with longing.
He walks up beside Blair and watches the skyline with her for a moment.
"So, big week coming up. Paul's birthday is on Thursday, his party is on Saturday. Paul told me that Harold and Roman are flying in on Tuesday. You going to be able to keep up? "
"Thanks for your concern Humphrey but it really isn't necessary, I think I'll be able to make it to Saturday, after all, I do have Dorota beside me."
He looks over at her and takes in how thin she has gotten. Blair had always been tiny, but seeing her clavicle come out this far is sort of unsettling. He watches her shiver and she hugs herself. He feels himself soften up even more. Hating Blair Waldorf used to be so easy.
He slips off his jacket and puts it around her shoulders.
She looks up to him in surprise, he flashes a crooked smile at her, "You looked cold."
"It better not be some cheap polyester blend." She mutters.
Dan doesn't take it personally; she was never good at gratitude.
"So what are your plans for Thursday? Taking Paul out to Chuck E. Cheese?" he teases.
"No I'll be receiving a blood transfusion early in the day… Please Humphrey no blood sucking jokes." She warns him. He's biting his cheek. She knows him well.
"It'll help me get through the weekend, and I dunno what I will do for Paul's birthday."
"Well, I have the day off." He says dryly.
"You want Paul that day?" she looks worried.
"Well I was thinking it wouldn't be fair for just one of us to get him on his birthday and that it would be nice for him to spend his actual birthday with BOTH of his parents."
She regards him suspiciously and cocks an eyebrow up, "What do you have in mind Humphrey, and if you say Chuck E. Cheese then I'm just going to tell you now that it isn't going to happen."
He laughs, "No, I was thinking I could make spaghetti dinner and then we could take him to do something."
"Like what?"
"Like whatever he wants!"
Blair leans her head to the side and smiles, "Sure, why not?"
"Great, we'll work out the details later; I better get back into the party. Jenny is glaring at us."
Blair turns around and is dismayed to see that it's not only Jenny glaring, but also Chuck. She takes off his jacket and hands it back to Dan.
"Thanks Humphrey"
Later that night after Blair has gotten Paul into bed and she herself is laying, down her phone alerts her to a new text message.
It's from Nate. She smiles as she reads it.
"Dan told us what he overheard between u & Eleanor. While Jenny will never admit it, she is grateful. Thanks Blair, it does mean a lot to us. Especially to me. Maybe I'll see u around?"
She texts him, "I'd like that Archibald. & if it makes Jenny feel justified in her continued grudge against me, tell her I didn't do it for her, but for Paul."
Nathanial Archibald. Hopefully another bridge she can rebuild. Unlike everyone else Nate could probably go on forever hating her. After all, she was the one that was responsible for Jenny almost dying. But Nate has a big heart and Blair is counting on it.
She falls asleep thinking about how much she had loved him when she was younger and how he had always been so kind to her. Well, besides sleeping with her best friend when she was 16. But really, this is the Upper East Side, who doesn't sleep with their best friend's boyfriend?
Across town Nate Archibald is in bed when he gets the text message. He chuckles and Jenny turns over to ask what's so funny.
He shows her the text and Jenny rolls her eyes and turns over quickly. He lays down and spoons her and kisses the back of her neck and tells her he loves her.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
So I finally wrote out what awful thing Blair had done to Jenny Humphrey to incur everyone's hate. I figured you all deserved it and I really couldn't keep going on vaguely saying "What you did to Jenny" or "publicly humiliating Jenny and destroying her" anymore.
I hope I haven't made her too monstrous. I swear that this will be a romance between Blair and Dan. But I'm taking it slowly like the GG writers did… I hope you all don't mind. Bear with me please.
As always, thanks for reading and reviewing