Chapter 8-

Paul is excited in the town car. They are on the way to the airport to pick up Harold and Roman.

Paul had been asking her how much longer till Grandpa Harold and Roman land since they took off from Charles De Galle. Blair answers him patiently every time, but finds herself wishing that they hadn't retired the Concorde flights.

The last few days have been hard for Blair. She's starting to feel angry about her diagnosis.

When Harold comes out of the baggage claim area Paul and Blair are there waiting.

Paul jumps into Harold's arms.

"Tu m'as manqué!" Paul exclaims as he holds Harold. *I've missed you*

Harold holds onto him tightly, chokes back tears and tells him how much he missed him. Roman doesn't try to hold back his tears.

It takes every fiber of her being to keep herself from crying.

She hates that Harold and Roman and Paul can't live together like they did in Paris.

Harold holds Blair's hand the whole way to the hotel. He tells Blair about how he had managed to run into Guillaume and that he told Guillaume about Blair's illness. He took it badly.

Blair doesn't say anything.

They get to the hotel and Roman and Paul go off to find some lunch to bring back to them.

Blair and her dad sit on a couch and Harold takes her hand and asks her how she's doing.

She feels herself cracking and this time she gives in to all the emotions she's feeling.

She breaks down and her father holds her. She tells him how awful the chemo is, how she's so tired of being sick, how terrified she is when she falls asleep, worrying about Paul. Harold tries his best to comfort her, but he's just as broken as she is.

She pulls herself together. She tells him about Dan Humphrey. That they are starting to become friends again, she's relieved.

He is relieved as well. Blair tells him that he was very angry at first, but that was to be expected.

She gives her dad a shaky smile and says, "Paul isn't 100% comfortable with Dan yet, but they're coming together, slowly but surely."

"I'm glad." Harold says softly.

They sit in silence for the rest of the time till Roman and Paul show up.

Two sad and lonely Waldorfs holding each other's hands and not knowing what to say to comfort the other.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

She and Paul have dinner with Harold and Roman. It's a nice dinner with Paul telling them about his life in New York. Blair tries to enjoy herself, but she can't help how drained she feels. The emotional moment she had with her father earlier has left her exhausted. All she wants is to head back to her penthouse and bury herself under the covers. But Paul is having such a good time she can't do that to him.

When it is time for her and Paul to leave she gives Harold and Roman a tight hug.

"We're going to spend Paul's actual birthday with Dan Humphrey in Brooklyn." Blair tells him as she hugs them.

Roman pouts, but Harold understands. Dan was denied so much in Paul's life that he won't press having Paul for himself, not after he got to live with them for much of his life.

Harold tells Paul that he will be there tomorrow morning to take him to his school and will pick him up as well to spend some time with him and Roman.

When Blair is left alone that night she goes to bed bitter.

Why her? Why now?

She understands that she had done so many evil things to people in her youth but it's not fair regardless. Because Paul is good and he doesn't deserve this.

She turns over and can't seem to swallow the lump of anger growing in her throat. Eventually she goes to the bathroom and draws herself a hot bath to help her calm down.

She knows that it's not right she feel sorry for herself, but she can't help it. And that makes her even angrier.

After her bath she lays in bed for a few more hours, cursing nameless entities and fate for the hand that's been dealt to her and Paul.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Thursday comes and she feels much better after her blood transfusion. Harold takes her and Serena out for lunch. Serena and Harold catch up and Blair leaves the lunch in a good mood. Serena has always had that effect on people; you couldn't help but get wrapped up in her smile and start to feel good.

She goes to pick up Paul and when she comes back to the penthouse she finds Humphrey there waiting for them.

"I figured if I showed up here you both wouldn't be able to flake out on me" he says with a smirk.

They go to Brooklyn together in a cab and Dan makes a wonderful dinner.

He has a cake for Paul and Blair takes photos of them together. Dan looks happy in the photos.

After they sing to him Paul sits very quietly, thoughtfully making his wish and blows out his 5 candles.

"What did you wish for puffin?"

"I can't say, if I do, it won't come true."

Everyone knows what he wished for. Dan watches as a flash of emotions go over Blair's face. She's sad and angry, and then, she's smiling at her son.

Dan asks him if he wants his gift now or at the party. Paul thinks for a minute and asks for it now. Dan brings out a guitar.

"I saw you looking at the guitars that grandpa Rufus had and I couldn't help myself." Dan says smiling brightly at Paul's happy reaction.

Blair can't help but smile, remembering that Dan was always good at paying attention and knowing what the people around him wanted and needed. The memory makes her feel nostalgic and sad.

Paul looks amazed and worried and tells Dan, "But I don't know how to play it"

"Not to worry, I've already asked grandpa Rufus if he would teach you how to play it."

Paul pulls the guitar from Daniel's hands. He gingerly strums the strings. He looks so happy.

Blair can't help but feel bitter again. It's not fair. She won't be able to see him enjoy birthday gifts forever!

She looks up and sees that Dan is watching her. She gives him a hard look, not even caring if he can see how angry she is.

Eventually Dan suggests some scrabble. Of course Paul is ahead and watching him genuinely be happy to be besting his parents starts to lift Blair's mood.

But the moment is brief. Paul spells out the word "Cancer."

Dan watches as Blair's face gets very still.

Dan clears his throat, "I'm bored of this game, Paul, what do you say we watch some Van Damme movies?"

Paul, aware of the shift in mood in his mother nods his head and stares at his mom.

They all take their seats on the couch. Paul starts to yawn. The Humphrey couch has always had a sleepy effect on the Waldorfs.

Blair notices and starts to get ready to head back to the UES.

She starts to gather up Paul, "Come on Puffin, let's head back home." She says softly.

Paul rubs his eyes, "Can't we just stay here? I'm tired." He asks her sleepily.

Dan watches as her face gets hard and she answers very sternly, "No."

Dan knows this isn't going to end well. Paul is tired and when Paul is tired, he's cranky and he can be as stubborn and awful as Blair.

"I don't want to leave! I want to stay! I'm having a good time! I want to watch the movie and stay! And I don't want you to call me Puffin anymore! I'm 5!"

"Don't be foolish Paul, you're falling asleep and you're tired! Now let's go." She says with annoyance.

"I'm not tired. I want to stay!"

"Paul, I'm not going to ask again."

Dan watches as it escalates into a yelling match between Blair and her equally stubborn son. Paul yells at his mom accusing her of never letting him do anything he wants (typical 5 year old stuff) and he watches as Blair tries to reason with him with a very condescending voice. Yeah, he's glad he's not on the receiving end of that voice.

Dan steps in, "Blair it's okay, he can stay. If you're not feeling well and want to head back to the Upper East Side I don't mind having him for the night."

Blair turns her head to him, "No, we're staying together; it's his birthday, who knows how many more I get to have with him? You can have him all to yourself when I'm dead." Her voice dripping with venom.

Dan watches her eyes grow big as soon as she realizes what she's said and who she's said it in front of.

Blair looks to both of them and tells them she's sorry and runs from the loft.

Paul is on the couch and he's crying silent tears.

"Don't worry Paul. I'll go get her, she didn't mean it. Will you be okay for a few minutes when I go down and get her?"

Paul just looks ahead and cries.

Dan finds her downstairs in front of his building.

She's crying.

"Hey."

She looks up at him. He takes a breath. Blair's eyes were one of the most amazing things about her. It wasn't that they were some amazing blue color, but the expressions they could convey. The look of mischief that made you check your defenses, the anger that flashed that gave so many of her minions PTSD. But Dan had always loved it best when she smiled at him with her eyes, letting him know that she was happy, happy that he was there to hold her hand, happy after she had read his book Inside and knew how he felt about her, how she felt about him. He would do anything to get a look like that from her now and that makes him feel uneasy.

Unfortunately her eyes at this moment are sad. That's the eyes that always made Dan crumble. Especially now, with how thin she's gotten and having no hair, her eyes seem to take up her whole face and he can't see nothing but the sorrow reflected by them.

"Is Paul angry at me?" she asks in a trembling voice.

"He's hurt. Look, why don't you just stay the night? You and Paul can have my bed and I will sleep on the couch."

She looks down at his shoes.

"Don't worry Blair, Paul's a thoughtful child. He's going to understand. Just come up, it's his birthday." He says gently.

"He shouldn't have to understand things like this! He shouldn't know how to spell cancer!" Her voice is bordering on hysterics.

Dan just looks down at his shoes, knowing that Blair is starting to fall apart. He doesn't want to see it, he's afraid he may fall apart with her.

Mercifully she takes a deep breath and he can watch her pull herself together.

"C'mon Blair."

She looks at him and heads up.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Blair spends the rest of the night making it up to Paul. He falls asleep and Dan helps Blair get him into bed. She comes back out and sits on the couch as he cleans up the kitchen.

"I'm sorry Dan, I didn't mean what I said earlier… I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been so angry these past few days. You and Paul didn't deserve that."

He brings her a cup of tea and sits on the couch with her.

"I understand this isn't easy for you."

She looks at him and gives him a sad smile, "You always did understand."

Dan pulls her into an embrace. He remembers how he used to always do this for her. After they became friends she always ran to him whenever she was feeling low. So many nights were spent on this couch comforting the great Blair Waldorf.

Everyone was so afraid of Blair Waldorf, and with good reason, she could be menacing. But if you were lucky enough to get past the hateful stares and snarky remarks, you would find a terrified girl, worried that she would never be worthy of the people she was surrounded by.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about? I'm dying Humphrey."

He's not sure why, but it hurts to hear her say that.

"You don't know for sure. The treatments…"

"Right Humphrey, the treatments" she interrupts, "because chemo has such a great success rate with Brainstem Glioma patients, oh no, that's right, it doesn't" she spits at him. She's angry again and she's starting to take it out on Dan Humphrey.

Dan feels his chest tighten. He knows that she's trying her best to be awful, but he sees through it. She's terrified and for whatever reason it scares him. He just lets her cry onto his shirt and doesn't say anything. They fall asleep like this.

Later on when he wakes up he realizes that she's not on the couch with him anymore.

He finds her in bed with Paul. She's curled around the little sleeping 5 year old's body and she looks so peaceful. He pulls the blankets to her shoulders and kisses Paul on his forehead.

He goes back to the couch and has a hard time falling asleep. He can't shake the look Blair Waldorf had earlier in the night. He feels sorry for her, but most of all, he feels sorry for Paul.

He falls asleep thinking of the typewriter and Blair.

If he could, he would keep Blair in this loft with him and Paul for an eternity. Tucked away like the typewriter was, in his closet all these years. Only to exist as a reassurance that they are safely with him, where no one and nothing can touch and harm them.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Blair has been keeping herself busy with the final preparations for Paul's birthday. She's actually feeling much better. She hasn't talked to Dan since Paul's birthday.

She's embarrassed about how she acted but really in what she said to Dan. He must think she's so petty. Crying for herself and talking about how unfair life is when ultimately it's Paul who's going to end up the most hurt at the end of it all.

She wakes up on Saturday determined to make the most of her time she has left.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The day of the party has arrived and Blair is thankful to find herself busy.

Nate and Jenny are one of the last to arrive.

Nate gives the table of food an incredulous look.

"Mac and Cheese and Sushi? Who picked the food?"

Blair glides up to them and says in the tone Nate has heard so many times in his youth, "Paul did, and if you have any words of criticism to say to my baby, I warn you Archibald, I will have you gutted and added to the menu, complete with an apple in your mouth."

She looks at Jenny, nods, "Jenny"

And then her attention is fixed on someone else and she's walking away asking a caterer where, "Where they learned how to set a table."

Nate can't help but smile as she walks away verbally abusing the hired help. He finds his wife giving him a hard look.

"What? You have to admit it's nice to see Blair acting like… well Blair."

Jenny eventually smiles, kisses Nate's cheek and says she's going to go try to find the birthday boy.

Paul is running around. He has a few friends from school and Dorota's children who have shown up for the party. He's showing them his new guitar that Dan bought for him and playing the few chords that he's already learned from Rufus.

Blair finds herself getting a little emotional watching Paul. He usually acts so serious and grown up and it's wonderful to watch him act like the child he is. She looks up and see's Dan watching her.

She gives him a little smile and he nods to her. Then he breaks eye contact and a grimace grows on his face. He's looking at something behind him. She turns around and her heart sinks a little.

It's Chuck, sans wife.

She's not sure how this is going to go, but knowing Chuck, probably not well. She walks over to him quickly and slips her hand in the nook of his arm.

"What are you doing here?" She's smiling but Chuck can see that she's not sure if she should be pleased that he's here.

"Just saying hello to the birthday boy. I really never got to meet him, Lily invited me, so I figured why not?"

Blair asks very softly, "You're not drunk are you?"

"No. Blair I'm not here to ruin your son's day."

"You'd better not be, you know all too well what I am capable of, so make sure you don't cross me, especially today."

"You don't trust me? I'm hurt" Chuck whispers into her ear playfully.

This annoys Blair and she steps in front of him and turns to face him.

"Didn't I tell you? We're the best at hurting each other. After Paul was born I promised myself that I was done destroying people but if you ruin Paul's 5th birthday, I will make an exception."

Chuck gives her a warm smile, "It's good to see you Blair."

She can't help but return the smile. "I mean it Chuck."

Chuck smirks at her, "So do I Blair, no funny business. I'm just here to meet the son of one of my oldest and dearest friends and hopefully score some cake…. and maybe a pretty caterer."

Blair cocks an eyebrow, "Oh and you're wife? I don't want any scenes here."

"Left town, filing for divorce, irreconcilable differences, you know the usual thing that happens here on the Upper East Side, why are you available?"

Blair gives him an icy glare and he knows that he has to stop baiting her.

"But seriously Blair, how are you?" He asks her softly.

Blair just crosser her arms, looks down at the ground and shrugs. "As good as to be expected."

Chuck can tell that the question has made Blair uncomfortable. "Well, how about you introduce me to your son as your first love?"

Blair scoffs and smiles and they head over to Paul together.

Dan has watched the whole thing. He's not sure of what was said but he can't help but feel annoyed at the moment they had. He knows that Blair said she wouldn't go back to Chuck, but it's like he said before, they have a strange pull on each other. It kept him a little paranoid while they were dating, though he never let her know. He tries to bury the twinge of jealousy he feels when he entertains the notion that Blair may still want to be with Chuck, but he really can't help himself.

He watches as Blair introduces Paul to his "Uncle Chuck."

Chuck puts his hand out to shake and Paul takes it. They talk for a while and it seems that Paul takes to Chuck very well. This infuriates Dan a little when he remembers how hard it was for him to get Paul to like him.

Blair announces cake time and Dan has to swallow his annoyance and smile brightly at Paul as they all gather around him to sing Happy Birthday to him.

Paul beams, knowing he is the center of attention with a bunch of the people he's recently learned is his family around him. After he finishes blowing out his candles Nate jokingly pushes his face into the cake.

Blair's face goes still and Daniel holds his breath. He knows Nate meant it as a joke but Paul's a serious kid and they don't know how he will react.

He comes up slowly, but he surprises everyone. While he was slowly raising his head out of the cake he dug his hands into the side of the cake and manages to get a glob of it into Nate's hair.

This starts a cake fight and Blair starts barking orders at everyone to stop. Chuck of course runs behind the counter, not wanting to get his suit ruined but he watches it all laughing especially when Paul manages to run his hands on his mom's brand new skirt. Dan laughs out loud at the grimace on Blair's face and that's when he notices the hand that Paul is hiding behind his back. It's too late anyways, the kid has a really good arm. Dan gets a face full of cake flung at him. When he wipes his eyes he sees Blair laughing at him.

He walks up to her and she tells him very sternly, "Don't you dare Humphrey."

He looks at her with mischief and raises a frosting covered finger and runs it down her nose.

"Sorry Waldorf, I couldn't help myself."

The penthouse is covered in cake and Blair feels sorry for the caterers. She's sure that none of them thought that being covered in French Vanilla Cake was something they were looking forward to this morning. She will have to tip them well.

Eleanor is running away from cake covered versions of Cyrus and Harold who are demanding hugs from her. Serena is pulling frosting out of her hair and Jenny is helping Nate get cake off of his face.

Paul and his friends are covered in cake. The cake is a total loss.

But that doesn't matter to Blair, not when she sees Paul laughing so hard he's rolling on the floor. So she straightens out her skirt as best as she can and announces it's time to open gifts. She cancels the football game, seeing as to how no one has an extra set of clothes to wear and they will just have to reschedule it another time.

When Nate chimes in with Paul about how unfair she's being she shoots him a look that could kill an elephant, "You only have yourself to blame Archibald."

Paul opens his gifts and afterwards they manage a very sloppy but fun photo of everyone to commemorate his 5th birthday. Everyone is covered in cake and smiling.

Blair has her arms around Serena and Dan's carrying Paul. Paul and Dan have the same grin on their face and Blair makes a mental note to add a hard copy of the photo to everyone when she writes their thank you cards.

Everyone starts to head out. Sorry they have to leave so early and clean themselves up. Dorota sends Paul and his friends upstairs into the tub to get cleaned off. They will just have to be sent home wearing Paul's clothes with notes of apologies and promises of dry cleaned garments the following morning.

Blair sighs and starts to clean up a little. She gives the caterers a generous tip, she jokingly tells them she will be reserving them for next year's party tomorrow. They walk away laughing nervously.

After everyone gets sent home it's just her, Dan, and Paul. Paul's already cleaned and is playing with his gifts.

"So, I'm wondering if you have any of my clothes still here from when we used to date."

Blair looks at him blinking.

"I mean, I don't know of any cab on the Upper East Side that will be willing to pick me up covered in cake."

Blair goes upstairs and returns with a flannel shirt and a pair of sweats. "It's all I could find Humphrey, I think the sweats actually belonged to Nate, but the flannel" she makes a bitter face as she says flannel, "the flannel I can assure you is yours."

"Okay I'm going to go get cleaned up."

When he comes down after getting cleaned up, Blair asks him to stick around and keep Paul company while she gets cleaned up. He's more than happy to do so.

When she comes down he can't help but be reminded of how beautiful Blair is. She's bald, but here she is, in silk pajamas with no hair and her face scrubbed clean of makeup and he can't help but wonder how he could have never paid attention to her before Serena.

He stays with them, until Paul falls asleep and he carries him up the stairs. After he's put him to bed he comes down to hang out with Blair for a while.

"It was a great party Waldorf"

"It was wasn't it?"

"Yeah…"

He watches as her eyes get heavy and she starts to yawn. He takes his cue to leave and gets up to gather his dirty clothes.

"Oh Humphrey, leave them, I'll send them for dry cleaning and have them delivered to you."

"You don't have to you know, I'm quite capable of cleaning my own clothes."

"It's no big deal, really."

They stand there, for an awkward moment and then Dan hugs her. He hugs her tightly and breathes in the scent of her.

"Thanks Waldorf."

"For what?" She sounds confused.

"For letting me be a part of his life."

She pulls away from him and smiles at him, "Good night Humphrey."

He turns on his heels and tells her goodnight.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I'm not sure how I feel about the ending… But I think the rest of the chapter is okay. Thought I'd give you something that isn't so sad. It may be a while before I can update. The past two weeks have been rough. I had a death in the family so this kind of went on the back burner as I grieved and caught up in school. I have bits and pieces written out for how I want the rest of the story to go, but no defined chapter 9 written up. My apologies.

I hope to get caught up in school and get started as soon as I can. I enjoy writing this and I'm grateful that you all enjoy reading it.

Ciao!