Chapter 11-

Blair wakes up and groans. Considering last night's events she wishes she could crawl under the covers and hibernate. But she can't. She has to help get Paul up for school. It's the last two weeks before school is out.

Paul.

Blair bites her lip as she thinks about the look Paul gave her after she admitted that she had hurt Jenny. He looked crestfallen and disappointed. Blair hates that she was the one to disappoint Paul.

She gets Paul ready and tries to get him to talk to her but he ignores her. On the way to school he sits as far from her as he possibly can and when she tells him she loves him and wishes him a good day at school, he just looks at her and curtly nods his head as he flies out the door of the town car.

Blair starts to get angry and wordlessly damns Rufus, Dan, and Jenny. She should have never left Paris. If she had stayed in Paris she could have lived her last days in the careful and safe world that she had constructed. With no threat of Paul knowing what she was like before.

It's only as she feels the pain in her palms does she realize that she is clenching her fists tightly. She relaxes her hand and looks at the crescent indentations each of her fingernails have left on her palms.

She sighs.

She knows that she can't only blame them. She has as much to play in Paul finding out about what she had done to Jenny as Rufus did or Dan. She should have never outed Rufus like that in front of everyone and Rufus should have never pushed her towards it. They were all to blame for this.

She sits in the back of the town car hating herself as much as she hates Rufus Humphrey.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Blair is angry. Scratch that she's seething and her poor driver is feeling the brunt of it.

They have been sitting in Manhattan's traffic for well over 20 minutes. She looks at her watch and realizes that she's 10 minutes late to pick up Paul from school.

"Honestly, I thought I paid you to drive, NOT to take me through Manhattan's most congested streets! Where did they find you?" Blair snaps at the driver through the partition.

"Very sorry ma'am. I am trying to get us there as soon as possible." The driver says shakily.

"Don't try, DO!" Blair yells back and raises the partition.

They finally arrive at Paul's school 25 minutes late. Her heart sinks a little as she sees no children waiting by the curbside to be picked up.

She figures this is because she is 25 minutes late and rushes into the school, hoping to find Paul waiting in his classroom for her after he realized that she was going to be a little late. He had done it before in Paris whenever she was running behind.

Paul's not there. She's told by his teacher that he got a ride with this friend. He had told her he would have them drop him off at his parent's home. The teacher didn't think anything of it considering the child had ridden in Paul's town car before and Paul had ridden with him before as well.

Blair thanks the teacher and comes out to the car.

She knocks on the partition when she gets in. It takes the driver a few moments before he lowers it.

"We were late, so he's already gotten a ride home from one of his classmates. Now can I trust you to get me back to my penthouse in a timely manner? Or should I call your employer and let them know how incapable you are with the easiest routes in Manhattan?" She says very slowly and calculated, letting him soak in her threat and animosity.

"No ma'am, I'll get you there as soon as possible." The young driver says with a quivering voice.

Blair raises the partition and sits back in her seat with a huff.

Much to the driver's credit he gets her back to her penthouse quickly and she decides that she's verbally castrated enough. When he opens the door for her she doesn't acknowledge him and walks past him to the door to her building.

She could give him a harder time, but she decides that she's terrified him enough and lets the poor boy off.

She rushes up to the Penthouse and when the elevator door opens she's already calling for Paul.

Dorota greets her, "Miss Blair? Paul is not with you?"

"No! He's supposed to be here, we were late and he got a ride from one of his friends, he hasn't arrived yet?" Blair says, worry creeping into her voice.

"No Miss Blair, Paul has not come home yet" Dorota says, her eyes reflecting the same worry that is in Blair's voice.

"Maybe he's with his friend, I'm going to go call his mom" Blair hurries to her telephone book to find the number of the mother of the friend that Paul hitched a ride with.

Her hands are shaking as she dials the number into the phone and she closes her eyes, mentally pleading that Paul is there with them.

Her eyes snap open as the other line is picked up. "Mrs. Carlton, Hi, Blair Waldorf, Paul's mom? Doing well. I'm actually calling in regards to Paul. I understand that he hitched a ride with you, I'm terribly sorry about inconveniencing you, my driver went down the wrong roads and we ended up in the worst traffic, is Paul there?" Blair starts to frown and Dorota finds herself getting even more worried.

"Brooklyn? He asked to be dropped off in Brooklyn? His dad's house?" Blair sighs, "Well thank you very much Mrs. Carlton. Yes I will see you around the school sometime."

Blair hangs up and quickly calls Dan's number.

He's at his publishing firm meeting with his editor about his new project and ignores the call from Blair. When he feels the buzz alerting him to the text message he's received he steps out puzzled.

"Could you please make sure Paul is ready to be picked up? I'm going to be heading over to the loft to come get him."

He calls her not understanding her text message.

She picks up on the first ring, "Humphrey." She snaps.

"Blair, I'm not at the loft, what do you mean Paul is there?"

He can hear the panic in her voice as she tells him what's happened.

"Okay, okay, calm down, does he have a cell phone we can reach him at?" Dan asks hopefully.

"No he doesn't have a cell phone Humphrey! He's 5! If he had a cell phone don't you think you would have had his number by now?" Blair shrieks, her voice bordering on hysteria.

Dan feels his chest tighten with worry, "Okay, I will head over to the loft, I'm closer anyways, just sit tight at the Penthouse just in case he's decided to go home since I'm not there."

"Dan… he's only 5, and I was really late picking him up, you don't think….." Blair can't even bring herself to say it.

Dan shuts his eyes and tries to reassure her, "No, let's not go there Blair. Let's try to be rational. He's a really bright kid and I don't see him running off with strangers."

Blair just nods her head, "Yeah, he is." She ends the call and sits on her couch with her phone and hands in her lap.

15 minutes later Dan is calling her.

"Is he with you?" Blair demands in to her phone.

"No, he wasn't here; he's not at the penthouse?"

"No" Blair chokes out.

"Alright, I'm on my way over, call everyone you know to see if maybe he went to see them, I'll call Rufus, I 'll be right there Blair, don't worry, we'll get through this together." He ends the call and Blair immediately calls Serena, Eleanor, Cyrus, and even Georgina. Not wanting to leave any stone unturned.

Paul is not with any of them. In fact he's with Jenny.

Jenny had come by the loft to drop off a few suits to Dan that she had tailored for him. He would be doing a few readings and she wanted to make sure he looked his best. She found Paul sitting outside the door of the loft and was very puzzled.

"Paul, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see Dan after school. My mom was late in picking me up so my friend's driver dropped me off."

"Does your mom know you're here?" Jenny asks incredulously.

Paul just looks down at the floor and shrugs.

Jenny sighs, "Well come on in kiddo, I'm going to drop these clothes off and I'll take you home"

Paul looks up at her with pleading eyes, "Can we please go get something to eat? I'm really hungry."

Jenny looks down at him and nods slowly, "Okay, we can do that, but I need to make sure I call your parent's okay?"

Paul just looks away quickly and then gives her a small nod.

While in the cab Jenny tries to call Nate or Lily to ask for Blair's number but none of them are answering.

Odd.

When they get to the restaurant Paul has chosen she sits them down and after they've ordered she calls Dan.

He picks up on the first answer, "I was just about to call you"

Jenny can hear the worry in his voice "Is everything okay?"

"Paul's missing, he wasn't at school and.."

"He's not missing Dan, he's with me."

"With you? How?" Jenny can hear the relief in his voice and can hear Blair in the background grilling Dan with questions.

"I went by your loft to drop off your suits. He was waiting in the hallway outside the door. He said he came to see you. He asked me to take him to eat, I've just ordered for him, when we're done I'll bring him to the loft."

"No, bring him to the penthouse, I'm here and Blair is sick with worry."

"Okay" Jenny says begrudgingly, then she lowers her voice, "Dan, he seems really upset today."

Dan sighs, "I went to the Penthouse last night, after Rufus told us what he had done and got into an argument with Blair. We ended up shouting and Paul overheard everything, even the part about you."

Jenny bites her lip. She had threatened to tell Paul about Blair once but she hadn't meant it. She never wanted to hurt Paul like that.

"I see."

"Jenny…. Blair wants to speak with you" Dan says as he hands over his phone to Blair.

"Jenny, is Paul okay?" Blair demands.

"He's fine Blair, really, you don't have to worry, he's just waiting on his dinner."

"Where are you at, I'll come to you."

"I think you should probably stay put. He seems pretty upset."

"Okay" Blair says slowly, "Can I talk to my son then?" Blair is starting to sound angry.

"Look, I don't think that's a very good idea right now. I'm sure he's really angry at you, why don't you just let me have dinner with him and try to get him to cool down a bit? You don't have to worry; I will bring him home to you as soon as we're done eating."

"Okay" Blair says. Jenny can't help but note how small her voice is and she hangs up.

She turns her attention back to Paul. He's watching her very carefully.

"You know you should have told your mom, she was really worried."

"I don't care!" Paul exclaims but he looks unsure.

Paul and Jenny talk throughout dinner. They talk about what had happened.

"Is that why you hate my mom?" Paul asks softly.

Jenny inhales sharply, so much for civility in front of Paul.

"No, I don't hate her. I did before, for a very long time, but I don't hate her anymore." Jenny answers truthfully.

Paul just looks at her, like he's studying her.

"Paul, you're mom…. She's complicated, very complicated. She wasn't the nicest person to know once upon a time, but then something in her changed."

Paul perks up, "What? What changed?"

"I think it was you, Paul. Having you changed her and made her want to be a better person. And your mom can be a very good person, I've seen it before," Jenny hates that she's admitting this.

"Yeah, but…." Paul starts.

"I don't know if me and your mom will ever be friends, but I do respect her Paul, she's your mom." Jenny says begrudgingly.

"But what about Grandpa? And Dan?"

"Your Grandpa Rufus is very sorry for what happened. Dan doesn't hate your mom at all. I don't think ever really did." Jenny adds softly. "Paul, you can't judge your mom by what she was before. Enjoy what she is now, she's trying…" Jenny bites her lower lip, "she's really trying Paul, I think it's time for all of us to recognize that." She adds softly.

Paul looks down at his hands and nods slowly.

Jenny decides to change the subject. They talk about Dan.

Finally she asks Paul something that's been bothering her, "Paul" she says softly, "You call me aunt Jenny and Nate uncle Nate, and even Chuck is uncle Chuck, Rufus is grandpa, but why do you still call Dan by his name? Why not Dad?"

Paul just stares at his desert and mutters, "I dunno."

"Do you still feel uncomfortable with him?" Jenny asks.

Paul just shrugs, "Do you think he wants me to call him dad?"

"Only if you want to, but yes I do…. I think it's important to him….. I think it's important to your mom too." Jenny says gently.

Paul looks up to Jenny sadly and nods his head a little.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Jenny eventually gets him back home where his parents are waiting for him.

Blair hugs him with tears in her eyes and gently reprimands him for going off and not telling her. Dan tells him not to do it ever again.

Before Jenny leaves the penthouse Blair looks at her and Jenny can see the gratitude in her eyes.

Blair never says thank you and Jenny doesn't hold it against her. She is Blair Waldorf after all and gratitude was never her strong suit. As she descends in the elevator Jenny leans against the back wall feeling exhausted and sad. Exhausted at constantly trying to hate Blair Waldorf and sad that Paul will be losing her.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Everyone is at Paul's end of the year showcase for his school. He has told everyone to come and that he has a very special performance for his mom.

Blair is a little perplexed when Rufus joins Paul onstage during his portion of the showcase.

Rufus helps Paul with his guitar and slings his guitar on him as well.

"My grandpa Rufus taught me how to play this song; this song is for my mom." Paul says shyly.

The whole auditorium awws.

Blair almost starts crying when she hears them playing Moon River. Paul tries to sing the song but he hasn't learned all the words yet. No big deal because Rufus helps him and chimes in whenever Paul falters at the words.

Which is a good thing, Paul may have been blessed with good manners and great talent as a guitar player, but he has no business singing.

After they're done Blair realizes that her eyes are wet and she gives Rufus a small smile.

It's a small smile. Not a grand gesture, but an indication that she is willing to move past the ugly incident that happened between them. Rufus finds himself exhaling a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

The auditorium erupts in loud applause for Rufus and Paul.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Paul has been out of school and enjoying his summer break for 3 weeks now.

Blair is helping him get packed for his trip with Eleanor and Cyrus to visit Harold and Roman. Blair bites her lip wishing she could go with him, but she's been feeling so awful with her treatments that her doctor has recommended she stay home. The stress of traveling will compromise her already compromised immune system.

Paul is a bundle of excited energy. He's excited to get back to Paris and to see his old playmates.

Blair cries after he gets through security. Dan puts his arm around her and pulls her into an embrace.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Blair has decided to host a little get together at her house. To congratulate Dan for making the Bestseller's list and to wave off Serena. She is going off to California to visit her brother on the set of his new movie.

Nate asks if Jenny can come and Blair agrees to it, a little begrudgingly. But she resigns herself to the fact that Jenny is now a permanent member of her group.

Dan is the last to show up and when he does he finds them all stoned, Nate having found Blair's stash. Blair hands him a joint and tells him it's a part of her therapy.

"Indulge me Humphrey." Blair says giggling.

"Okay, here we go, front runners for parents of the year." Dan says dryly before inhaling long and deep.

Blair, Jenny, Serena, and Nate are rolling on the floor laughing.

"Wow Blair, this stuff is REALLY good!" Nate exclaims after another hit.

"You should know Archibald!" Blair says giggling.

"No really, maybe I should get into the medical marijuana business!"

"I can see it now, Archibald Dispensaries!" Serena says jokingly.

"Hahaha, Maybe you should Nate, you and Chuck would be quite knowledgeable from what I can remember of high school" Dan chimes in.

"Hahahaha, Yeah I can have Chuck finance it, have my dad come up with the business strategies."

"Chucks money and the captain's business savvy, what would you be there for?" Jenny says kissing Nate's nose.

A goofy grin spreads across Nate's face, "I'll do product knowledge and quality assurance." Nate says in-between puffs. "Someone has to verify that we are putting out a good product. That and I'll put advertisements into the NYSpectator."

Everyone laughs.

They get hungry and order Pizza. One pizza for each person. Blair orders gourmet for herself. Dan can't help but smile at the memory of her ordering gourmet pizza, once upon a time.

Nate starts to talk about Jenny's new line. Eleanor has encouraged Jenny to make a name for herself and expand her horizons. Jenny is working on designs.

"Oh do tell!" Serena squeals.

"You'll see soon enough, I'm going to be launching it in the fall at Fashion Week."

Blair almost chokes on her pizza.

"Really? Wow! Fashion Week is huge! Do you think you're ready?"

"Yes Blair, I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't think I was" Jenny says rolling her eyes.

Blair nods slowly, "Well I'm sure my mom wouldn't be encouraging you if you haven't shown great improvement and refinement. Congrats."

Jenny flashes Blair a sly smile, "Just stay away from my models this time okay Blair?"

Blair takes a bite of her pizza, "Don't give me any ideas little J" she says with a mouthful.

Everyone breathes out a little relieved that while tenuous, Blair and Jenny have come to some kind of agreement and they can be polite and civil and they can poke at each other a little without world war 3 breaking out.

When everyone goes home, Dan is left in the Penthouse with Blair. He's still stoned. He helps put Blair to bed and she's giggling and tells him he should probably stay and sober up. He lays down next to her on the bed and they talk about the past.

"Remember when you married that Prince? His accent was so horrible, what accent was that? Where was that accent from?"

"Hahahaha. That was a disaster! Remember when I walked in on you and Georgina in our dorm room?"

"Ugh, don't remind me! Remember when you asked me to take you to that one college party at NYU?"

"Haha yes! That's when I knew that I had reached bottom, begging cabbage patch to take me to a party"

"Oh it wasn't that bad!"

"Isn't that where you and Georgina hooked up?"

"Ugh, okay, it was that bad." and so on until they both fall asleep.

He wakes up later on in the night when he hears Blair retching in the bathroom. He goes in and asks her if she's okay, she meekly nods yes.

He jokes around, "Normally I would be chivalrous and hold your hair back…."

But stops when he sees that she's in no mood to joke around.

She's biting her lip and she looks like she might cry. He rubs her back, but he doesn't dare tell her it's okay. He knows it would be a lie. She never cries though. Not a single tear. Just sits there on the floor, angrily looking into the toilet.

Eventually he gets her back into bed.

He's about to head out the door when she says, "Dan, stay. I don't want to be alone tonight."

Dan does, because ultimately, he's never been able to say no to someone in need. Especially when the person in need was a snarky Upper East Side princess who could have the saddest eyes.

He lays down next to her and watches her until she falls asleep.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Well it's May and I'm still working on this fan fiction. I dunno how regularly I will be able to update and really, I didn't want to post this chapter without working on it more, but I just figured I should get it up already.

BTW, can we just take a moment to revel in the fuckery (Please excuse the language, or don't, my Fic is rated M) that was the season finale? To be clear, I was expecting Dair to break up. Even hoping for it just so that they could reconcile sometime next season (preferably last episode or so for endgame). I was hoping it would be Blair who would mess up and have to fight for Dan like he had done all season. I was even okay with the prospect of Dan having sex with Serena because he BELIEVED Blair had run back to Chuck. I figured it would give us some good angsty episodes in the fall, a la what Sophie Bee had written in Mad World (I believe that's the title).

But nope, I don't know what the writers were thinking but we were given this really awful, character assassinating episode that leaves me scratching my head asking, "WHERE DID THAT EPISODE COME FROM?" Remember when Blair talked about Chuck selling her out for a hotel? Then she runs to him and profess her love for him on the roof of the very hotel he tried to sell her for? LOL writers!

Alright, end rant. Please read and review. Thanks.