Chapter 12-
Nate ends up having Blair write a fashion blog.
Jenny isn't too happy about this, her fashion show is debuting around the same time and she's afraid of Blair's critique, as she should be. Impressing Blair is going to be difficult... very difficult.
Nate reassures Jenny, tells her he has faith in Blair, but he says it almost like he's trying to convince himself.
But Jenny's fashion show happens, and the response to it is positive.
At the dinner celebrating the fashion show, Eleanor asks Blair what she thought of Jenny's foray into fashion as her own designer. Everyone quiets and looks on at Blair with dread, terrified of what she may say. Blair was always honest, especially when it came to fashion.
Blair daintily wipes her mouth. She doesn't look at Jenny as she says, "Well, I think the designs were very on point. Clean lines, a collection that appreciates the absurdity of art and yet relevant to the everyday woman. However, I can't say much for the color palette." She says with disdain.
Eleanor snorts and raises her glass, "Here, here! To the evil dictator of taste! Jenny you should be proud, you didn't get a scathing review! I'm sad to admit that many of my shows have been commented on by Blair, and they were bad enough to have me running to my studio with the intention of burning all my designs." Eleanor says playfully. "I can only be thankful that she didn't have a fashion column in a well-read paper while I was designing." Eleanor ends taking a sip of her glass.
She turns to Blair playfully, "And do remember dear, Nate went out on a limb giving you this column and he does have to sleep next to Jenny, so, let's put away our old prejudices, shall we?" she ends raising her eyebrows and looking at Nate and Jenny from the corner of her eye.
Blair turns to her mother and gives her a knowing smile, "Really Eleanor, I have no idea what you're talking about."
No one is sure how to take this.
Dan finds himself wishing Serena was there. Because if there was someone who could gauge what Blair was thinking it would be Serena. He could watch Serena's nonverbal cues after Blair' responses; if she rolled her eyes he knew that Blair was just being rude as always or if she gave Blair a knowing smile he knew that Blair was being cheeky…. And rude as always.
But Blair does write about Jenny's show. It's the focal point of her first article. She compares Jenny to something reminiscent of Alexander McQueen's work, yet the lines of her clothes reflect the time she spent under Eleanor's tutelage and she doesn't rely on the theatrics of Alexander McQueen in her designs. Dan saves the article and frames it for Jenny.
Nate mounts the article on the wall, but Jenny takes it down and puts it in a closet. She's not there yet with Blair Waldorf, that will take time, but deep down she holds the article dear to her heart. She had tried so hard in her youth to get Blair Waldorf's approval.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Blair is at the doctor's office waiting to see if her treatment is working. Paul will be returning in three days from his vacation from Paris. She planned it out this way.
She would find out what the news was, come what may, without Paul there. If it was good, then good, if it was bad, well then she would have three days to grieve. Three days to figure out what to do with what time she had left. She would stop chemo if it wasn't helping. There was no point to being this sick if this wasn't going to help her.
The doctor comes in and Blair is irritated that she can't read him.
He methodically puts the scans up and uses his pen to point to her brainstem.
"Well…. It looks like what we've been doing is a bit promising."
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. All the money that Chuck Bass could spend and this doctor can't come up with a more eloquent way to tell Blair that the news is good.
"….So…. So….. What does this mean?" Blair asks unbelievably hopeful.
The doctor turns to her sheepishly, "Well, you're not cured, I'm not sure there is such thing as a cure with this type of treatment, but you're responding well….. 40% reduction in the mass." He says proud of himself as he taps on the faint mass on her brainstem.
Because it was all his doing. He spent all the nights worrying about Paul and retching up hopes and dreams into a toilet.
"…. What do you mean? Am…. I'm doing well?" Blair asks with tears in her eyes.
"Now, now. Not well. But you came to me and told me you wanted time, well Ms. Waldorf, I think we can safely say that we've bought you some time. You know this type of cancer is very aggressive and the life expectancy…." He prattles on about statistics but Blair doesn't hear him.
She looks at the image in front of her with gratitude. Thankful that regardless of how awful she has been in her past, karma has decided to give her some time…. Who knows how long? But she has time and that's all that matters.
"So, can we stop treatment then?" Blair asks hopefully.
"Oh no! No! You're responding well to treatment so I want to pursue this. We're going to go as far as we can with this. I would like to get you down to at least 90% remission." He says while admiring the image on display.
Blair can't help but be disappointed. She didn't' know what she expected but she had hoped that come what may she would be told that there would be no more need for chemo.
She gathers herself and takes in a shaky breath, "Of course doctor. I want time."
The doctor seems to pick up on her mood and turns to her sympathetically.
"Ms. Waldorf, I'm being very cautious here, but I'm the best in my field, and I can tell you without a doubt you are by far responding the best out of every other Glioma patient I've ever treated."
Hope springs in Blair, "Of course, Thank you…. Thank you so much Doctor!"
She listens on as she talks to her about what she can expect in the next couple of months. Blair barely listens and nods her head dutifully.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
She walks out of the doctor's office wondering who she should call. She decides she should call the very person who made sure she made it this far. She calls Chuck.
"Blair." Chuck says and she can hear the rustling of sheets as he hurriedly gets up.
Blair smiles, something's never change.
"Chuck… I've got great news."
He doesn't answer.
"I'm not cured… But I'm better. There's some hope…." She stammers, "You've bought me time Chuck! Oh Chuck! I can't even express how grateful I am!"
He draws in a shaky breath and she hears a woman asks, "Chuck what is it?"
Blair immediately recognizes the voice. It's Raina Thorpe. Blair can't help but roll her eyes and shake her head.
She hears Chuck whisper, "It's Blair.."
"Blair…. So what does this mean?"
"It means I'm a lot better than what I was before Chuck… it means I may have bought myself another year with Paul… who knows how much time I have? It means it's working Chuck…. You promised me you would get me the best help and ….. I'm getting it."
"Blair… I'm, I'm so happy, I don't… I don't" Chuck starts.
"It's okay Chuck… I know I caught you at an inopportune time." Blair says teasingly.
"Well we were always known for our bad timing weren't we?" He chuckles.
"We were… Tell Raina I say hi." Blair says warmly and ends the phone call.
Blair calls Serena next.
"B!.. I have so much to tell you!" Serena exclaims upon answering the call.
Blair breaks down right then and there. While she's waiting for her driver to pull up to the curb she puts her head into her hands and starts crying.
Serena instantly starts to panic. "B! What? Tell me! Oh god! Okay, don't worry! I'm going to buy a ticket home now!"
"No…. It's good" Blair says as she gulps for air.
"Good?" Serena asks timidly.
"Yes! Good! 40% reduction! Serena, It's not a cure, but I think I'm getting better." Blair cries.
She gets into the back of her car just as she hears Serena start to bawl.
They both talk about how happy they are… Then Serena tells her about the man she has just met.
"He's older. Much older. But we're in love! B! I haven't felt this way since….." and she doesn't finish her thought. She doesn't have to. Blair understands all too well the Humphrey appeal.
"He sounds lovely S. Oh I want to meet him!" Blair says smiling.
Serena promises she will. Blair ends the call telling her she has to tell Eleanor and Harold.
"I love you Blair… You don't know how happy you've made me" Serena says.
"I love you too Serena." Blair says as she ends the call.
She calls everyone else she can think of. Even Nate.
Jenny shoots her a text later. "Nate told me about your news, I'm glad."
Civil and perfunctory, Blair smiles to herself knowingly. "Me too." She texts back.
The last person she calls is Dan Humphrey.
He sounds genuinely happy for her, of course he is. Dan Humphrey was always sincere with her.
He decides to take her out, to a celebratory dinner. Just them, after all, Jenny and Nate are in Hudson visiting his mom, Rufus and Lily are in the Hamptons (Rufus saying that if Paul isn't in the city, he has no reason to stay there for the summer), Chuck in Chicago, and Eric and Serena in Montecito.
They celebrate the upcoming return of Paul to New York and her great news with two bottles of wine. Dan Humphrey insists on paying for dinner. "Alright, but if you can't pay the electric bill in that drafty loft, don't blame me, I offered to get this one Humphrey." Blair teases.
After dinner Dan follows Blair out of their Taxi and goes up to the Penthouse. They giggle and talk about Paul the whole way up the elevator ride. He's not even sure of what he's doing or why he's going up to the penthouse. The only thing he knows is that he doesn't want to leave her just yet and it seems to be mutual.
Blair laughs and reaches over and squeezes his hand as he tells her a funny joke.
He looks at her surprised. She withdraws her hand and looks down embarrassed, "Sorry Humphrey, I forgot myself for a moment… Felt like old times.." She trails off, mortified.
Dan grabs her hand and squeezes it back, "It's quite alright Waldorf, you were always "handsy" with me."
She flashes him a grateful smile.
The elevator door opens to the Penthouse and they are greeted by a flustered Dorota.
Blair snatches her hand out of Humphreys, "What is it?" she snaps.
"Someone here to see you Miss Blair." Dorota says quietly, keeping her eyes at the space between Dan and Blair's hands.
They walk into the foyer, "Well, who is it?" Blair demands.
"Blair?" comes a masculine voice from the dining room that sounds both British and French.
Dan watches as Blair's eyes widen and she hurries over.
Dan follows and finds himself staring at a man.
"Guillaume" Blair says breathlessly and Dan watches as she embraces him.
Dan wants to turn away, he feels like an interloper, but can't bring himself to. He's intrigued by this man and wants to know who he is, and why Blair is hugging him so tightly. He almost finds himself protesting as the man places a ginger kiss on her lips. Must be an old boyfriend Dan thinks bitterly.
Guillaume looks at Blair's head mournfully and Blair instinctively runs a hand over her baldness, feeling equally mournful and a little embarrassed.
Then he looks over Blair's head and notices Dan. "And who is this?" he whispers in Blair's ear.
Blair turns around and finally remembers that Dan followed her up into the penthouse.
"Oh God! Forgive me guys! Dan, this is Guillaume. Guillaume, this is Dan Humprey… Paul's dad." Blair says gesturing between the two.
"Ah Mon Dieu! Of course!" Guillaume exclaims and crosses the space between Dan and takes his hand into a very enthusiastic and firm hand shake, "Of course you're Paul's father! He looks exactly like you! Well he has Blair's eyes, but everything else is you!"
"He doesn't look that much like Humphrey" Blair says with disdain.
"Hush Waldorf, it's rude to argue with your guests" Dan says.
Blair looks at him with dark eyes, "I'm sorry, in what universe does a Brooklyn Cabbage Patch get to lecture me on manners?" Blair exclaims incredulously.
"Why don't we all sit and talk, uhhh, catch up?" Guillaume says gesturing to the table. He's been on the receiving end of Blair's condescending tone and knows that he needs to mitigate the situation before Blair starts to tear down the poor chap standing in front of him.
They all take their seats at the table. Humphrey sits at the head and Blair sits next to Guillaume, clasping his hand.
Dan can't help but feel unnerved by this, though he can't pinpoint why.
"Dorota! Make some coffee for us before you leave okay?" Blair snaps.
Dorota materializes in the dining room, "Do you need anything else Miss Blair?"
Blair finally turns herself towards Dorota and takes in how tired she looks.
"No Dorota, thank you, just start on the coffee pot and we'll serve ourselves, go home Dorota, if anything, I'll have Humphrey serve us. You still remember how to pour drinks right?" Blair says sardonically to Dan.
Dan rolls his eyes, but gives Dorota a warm smile. "Tell Vanya and the kids hello for me."
"Will do Mr. Humphrey, Vanya loved your book. Says it was probably the best book you've ever written. Of course, I like Inside and Mr. Humphrey's portrayal of Blair." Dorota says, giving Dan and knowing smile.
Blair looks at Dan, clearly irritated. "Dorota! LEAVE!"
Dorota doesn't make Blair say it twice and happily heads back to her apartment in Queens. She smiles to herself in the cab remembering the way Dan and Blair were holding hands in the elevator when the door opened.
She had always liked lonely boy the best. He would actually talk to Dorota like she was on his level. Chuck was never mean to her, but she always felt that when he was talking to her, he was talking to her through a pane of glass. Something that was invisible, but a distinct border that determined who he was, who she was and it was never to be crossed. Nate was always sweet to her, like a young boy talking to an aunt, but there was never any kind of substance to their conversations. She would usually validate whatever boyish thing he was saying while he hurried off, either to run off and do Blair's bidding or to meet up with Chuck. Louis, well, she's not sure Louis ever knew she existed. She can't remember a single conversation or any kind of interaction that happened between them. She's sure they did at one time utter a few words to each other, she just can't recall.
But she remembers everything about Lonely Boy. She remembers the way he liked his breakfast. How he liked his tea and coffee. How thoughtful he was when he slept over. Always making the bed after him and Blair rolled out of it, mindful of Dorota. Of course Dorota always had to remake it; he never made it the way Blair wanted. With the sheets folded over and tucked under the mattress, but Dorota always appreciated the thought regardless.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Dan doesn't end up having to serve them Coffee, for which he's grateful. They each get up and get their own cup and come back to the table and talk.
Guillaume asks Dan lots of questions.
Dan answers them as truthfully as he can.
"You know I read your books. You're very talented." Guillaume says.
"Thanks" Dan says warmly.
"But I must say, the second book… it was very cruel." Guillaume says pointedly.
Blair looks down embarrassed, "Guy…"Blair says softly.
Guillaume holds a hand up, "Now I can understand. There were times while I was with Blair that I was convinced she was the reincarnation of Caligula, but that portrayal of her went too far no?"
Blair watches as Dan's eyes go dark. "You didn't know Blair before, what she was capable of."
Guillaume turns to Blair studying her, "She's hinted that she was awful before, but I wonder what awful thing she could have done to have deserved such a portrayal. What will you say Mr. Humphrey, if Paul ever reads it and asks you if the woman in the book is his mom? He's very bright you know." Guillaume says softly.
This time Dan looks down embarrassed. "I didn't know about Paul when I wrote it… I …. I dunno what I'll do if Paul ever gets his hands on it." Dan stammers.
"We can always institute a book burning" Blair says dryly, trying to lighten the mood.
This helps dispel some of the tension and Guillaume turns his attention back to Blair and asks her questions about her diagnosis, how she's doing, how Paul is.
Dan sits there, stewing in his emotions. Half embarrassed and half angry at Guillaume for making him defend his portrayal of Blair.
Eventually though, he lets it go and rejoins their conversation.
Guillaume teasingly tells Dan, "You know, she would talk about you sometimes. If she was drunk enough, she would even say, you were the best guy she had ever had and smile wistfully."
Blair looks at Guillaume mortified, "I don't remember ever saying anything like that!"
Guillaume turns to her with a sly look on his face, "Like I said if you were drunk enough."
Dan can't help but smile at this.
Blair looks at Dan with a look she's given him so many times before, "Don't. Look. So. Smug. Cabbage. Patch." She says tersely.
Dan swallows his smile and bites his tongue.
Guillaume tells Dan about his life with Blair and Paul in Paris. Tells him about their breakup and how it was very difficult for him to lose both Blair and Paul.
Dan sees the moment that a look of longing crosses her face as Guillaume talks about the time they spent together. It irritates him and again he can't figure out why.
"So what are you doing in New York?" Blair asks.
"I stopped here to come see you. I was in Montreal and decided on my way back to Paris that I would come find you. I haven't seen you since you slashed my painting."
Blair smiles at him, "You deserved that. What were you doing in Montreal?"
Guillaume looks away embarrassed, "A patron." He says slyly.
"Ohh! I should have said WHO you were doing in Montreal." Blair exclaims.
"You know how it is Blair, being an artist is tough, sometimes we have to resort to…. Measures." Guillaume says, a little embarrassed.
"I should have known better when you started to come into my life." Blair teases.
"It was real Blair" Guillaume says seriously. "With you, it was real, always."
Blair stares at Guillaume and nods her head slightly.
Dan starts to feel uncomfortable and gathers himself as he gets up to leave.
"Well, it's 4 am, and really I need to be going, Guillaume, it was really nice to have met you."
"Oh! Is it 4 already? I need to go too!" Guillaume says, surprised at how much time has passed.
"Where are you staying? Do you want to do Breakfast tomorrow?" Blair asks Guillaume.
"I wish I could" Guillaume says mournfully, "My plane takes off in 4 hours. I need to get back to the hotel, get ready for my flight, and then head to the airport already. I'm sorry Blair, I could only manage 1 night."
Blair looks at him sadly, "I understand."
Blair hugs Guillaume and whispers something to him in French. He mutters back something back in French into her neck. She nods her head and when she unfolds herself from Guillaume's arm Dan see's she's got tears in her eyes.
She turns to Dan and tells Dan she'll see him at the airport when they pick up Paul. Dan for whatever reason feels emboldened hugs and kisses Blair on the cheek, "Congrats on the good news Blair, I really am over the moon about it."
Blair looks at him stunned and softly says, "Thanks."
Guillaume and Dan descend in the elevator in silence. Not having anything to say to each other. They wait for taxis in silence and Dan offers the first taxi to Guillaume.
Guillaume turns to Dan, "It was very nice to meet you Dan. Make sure you take care of them. They both depend on each other so much and when he loses her, he's going to be devastated."
"I will." Dan says softly.
"I know you will" Guillaume says with certainty, "Paul has a lot of good qualities and I see a lot of them come from you."
And with that Guillaume enters his cab and doesn't look back. Dan catches the next cab.
He arrives at his loft in a haze and falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. That night he dreams of Blair Waldorf. It's a dream he had many times, a dream that he would try to erase by burying himself into his many female conquests.
In his dream Blair Waldorf is soft and supple under him, moaning his name and clutching at his hair in one hand, running a finger up his spine gingerly in a way that used to drive him wild. Then his dream would change and she'd start crying and he'd find himself drowning in her eyes and he'd hear her mournfully say, "You said you'd be there for me, even if I lost everything." He always woke up with a start. This night was no different. He shook his head, as if he was trying to shake off the memory of the dream.
He lays his head back down on the pillow and eventually falls asleep. But not before he glances at the framed photo on his nightstand. It's the group photo from Paul's birthday. He can't help but mentally note how beautiful Blair looks in it, even bald and covered in cake.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Alright, so again, my apologies in how late this is coming. Unfortunately I don't have any of my chapters written out. I have an outline of how I want the story to go, but nothing else is written out. Whereas the previous chapters, they were for the most part written out and I was adding/editing them. Also I'm in a very time intensive nursing program and so my time is really being monopolized by school at the moment. However I never forget about it and I'm always trying to steal some time to work on it. I'm interested in seeing how this story goes, but I really am at this point, trying to work to an endpoint. However, I have so many ideas and chapters that are forming at the moment so who knows when this will be complete? I hope by 20 chapters or less, but who am I kidding? I started this thinking it would only be 10 chapters max, hahaha.
BTW, love all the Angsty Dair fanfic that's come out since the finale! That finale was so disappointing but I have to say, if there is one good thing that came out of it, it's the plethora of fanfiction! Love it guys! Keep it going!