Chapter 17-
Dan is at the loft trying to start his next book. Unfortunately he has no idea what he wants to write about.
He thought that if he got away from the brownstone for a few hours maybe inspiration would start to hit him.
Unfortunately he sits in front of his computer with nothing but a blank page staring back at him.
He sighs and runs his hand through his hair.
He keeps thinking about Blair.
She continues to sleep next to Dan. It's become a nightly thing. She walks in after Paul has fallen asleep, never saying a word, pulls back the covers and falls asleep next to him. Some nights she will press up against him, some nights she stays over on her side.
She's always gone in the morning when Dan wakes up, though he can still smell her on the sheets and pillows. They get up and get through their morning acting normal like nothing happened.
It puzzles Dan. He's not sure what to think of it. He admits to himself that he likes it. He finds himself able to fall asleep and stay asleep soundly when Blair Waldorf is lying next to him. There is something comforting in hearing her breath in and out softly and he thinks it helps lull him to sleep.
He's not sure why they don't ever talk about it, just knows that it's something they can't talk about. Blair wordlessly drew a line in the sand and said that it was never to be crossed.
He looks up at his computer screen again and crosses his arms. Finally he gets frustrated and powers down his computer
This was pointless.
He looks at the clock and sees that it's almost time for Paul to get out of school. He grabs his coat and heads down to wave down a cab.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Blair is walking up to Paul's school. She decided today that instead of getting a car service that she would walk to school.
Fall has started to roll into New York and Blair is enjoying it while she can.
Fall has always been her favorite season and really, while Paris is beautiful, the Fall season in New York City is something she missed dearly while she was away.
Blair catches a reflection of herself in a window.
It's been a month since she had found out that there was no sign of her cancer and her hair is starting to grow back.
Her heart skips a beat remembering what Dan said to her the other morning as he caught her looking in the mirror trying to do something with her short hair.
"Not many women can pull off a cut like that. You remind me of Jean Serberg a bit. Don't worry too much about your hair Blair, you look great."
Blair remembers the sideway grin he had when he was saying this to her.
She rolled her eyes at him and told him he didn't know what he was talking about when it came to hair. After all, this was the same guy who had that awful mop of hair while they were dating.
But inwardly she felt happy about it.
Though she never showed it, losing her hair did affect her deeply. She had a hard time looking at old photos of her with her mane of long, chestnut hair. She missed it dearly.
As she rounds a corner leading to Paul's school she hears someone call for her.
"Blair!"
She turns around and see's Dan getting out of a Taxi.
"Humphrey." She says acknowledging him.
"The great Blair Waldorf walking with all the plebs of New York? What happened? Car Service realized you weren't on the Upper East Side and was too scared to venture into our neck of the woods?" Dan teases.
Blair huffs and rolls her eyes, "What are you even doing here? I thought you were at the loft writing the next great American novel. BTW, I don't think people are going to be interested in a story where you watch a stunning blonde marry some guy and you spend the rest of your days pining for her, that story has been told so many times." Blair ends with dramatic flair.
Dan gives her a hard look, "Ha- Ha- Ha Blair" He says dryly, "No. I couldn't get anything down today." Dan scratches his head, "I just don't know what to write about."
Blair rolls her eyes, "See, I keep telling you, you're not a writer! Really, why you insist on keeping up this charade is beyond me."
Dan looks at her with his sideways grin again.
Blair feels her heart skip a beat.
"So, what are you doing here Humphrey?" Blair asks, trying to cover how uncomfortable she is starting to feel.
"Isn't is obvious? I'm here to pick my son up from school." Dan replies.
"Oh well, in case you haven't noticed, that's not necessary, I'm here to pick Paul up."
"I see that Blair, but maybe we can make a day out of this? You know, take Paul to Central Park or something?"
Blair looks at Dan, "Really? It's a school night. You don't think that maybe he has homework that needs to be done?"
Dan rolls his eyes, "C'mon Blair, he's 5! He's a kid! It can't be all work. Let him have fun, he's too serious and he needs to remember that he's 5, you both do!" Dan exclaims.
Dan watches as Blair instantly bristles.
"What are you trying to say Humphrey? That I push Paul too much? That I don't know that he's 5?! I was once a 5 year old and there is nothing wrong with encouraging your children to be driven and to stay focused!" Blair snaps.
Dan puts his hands up, "I know, I know… I just… I think it'll be good for him to not have to worry about that once. Just for tonight. This isn't going to be an every night thing Blair… Why can't we just have fun like a family?"
Blair looks away and bites her lip.
"C'mon Blair. What do you say? How about the Waldorf-Humphrey clan take a break from our lives and just enjoy each other's company?" Dan says softly.
Blair looks back at him and nods her head.
Dan exhales and follows her as they walk up to the school.
Paul runs down the stairs and jumps into Dan's arms.
"Dad!" Paul exclaims, "I wasn't expecting you to be here!"
Dan smiles down at the boy in his arms. "Well you're mom begged me to come and I figured it would be rude to not come."
Dan watches as Blair's eyes narrow and then she smiles warmly at Paul.
Dan puts Paul down and Paul stands between his parents, holding onto one of their hands.
"So Paul, how was your day?" Blair asks.
"It was okay. I did well on my science test. Tomorrow we're having music class. Can I bring my guitar to school?" Paul asks looking up at his parents.
Dan and Blair both look down at him. Blair stops and crouches down to Paul's level, pulling a handkerchief out of her pocket. She wipes Paul's face and smiles, "I don't see why not?"
"Yay!" Paul exclaims gleefully.
Blair can't help but smile at Dan as she takes Paul's hand and they start walking again.
"So Paul, your mom and I have decided that we're going to take a little field trip today instead of heading home for homework. Of course you get to pick since we're tearing you away from your studies you love so much!" Dan teases.
Paul looks up at them both beaming. "I get to pick?"
Blair looks down, "Yep puffin…. I'm sorry, Paul, you get to pick, anywhere you want to go."
"Let's go feed the ducks." Paul suggests.
Dan looks over at Blair and notices her looking a little uncomfortable.
"The ducks? Why feed the ducks?" Blair asks.
Paul shrugs, "Because I haven't done it in a while and then we can go eat afterwards."
"We can do that" Dan answers.
"Sure" Blair answers softly.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Blair sits on the bench watching Paul feed the ducks the loaves of bread they had bought on their way over to Central Park.
Dan eventually joins Blair on the bench.
"You didn't seem too pleased about coming here." Dan says.
Blair continues to look at Paul.
"Sorry Humphrey, bad memories."
"Bad memories? I thought this was one of your favorite things to do." Dan asks surprised.
Blair sighs, "The last time I did this I had just found out I was pregnant with Paul….. And I was out here deciding what to do… If I should go through with the pregnancy." Blair practically whispers the last part and she drops her head to look down at her hands.
"Wow Blair, I never realized… I'm glad you did" Dan whispers.
"Yeah, me too." Blair answers meekly.
Dan finally looks over at her.
"What made you decide to keep him?" Dan asks.
Blair takes in a shaky breath, "I was sitting here and it hit me that the last time I had fed the ducks was when I was pregnant…. Before the wedding with Louis. And then I knew, I knew that I couldn't terminate, because I was given another chance to be a mom, yes it would be hard without you, but I wanted him, I wanted him more than I've ever wanted anything in my life." Dan watches as a tear spills over an eye and lands on her hands."
"I would have helped you, you know, If I had known." Dan tries to sound gentle but he can't help the bitterness that starts to creep into his voice.
Blair finally looks up to him. "I was terrified of telling you. I knew how angry you were with me and I didn't think I could take you denying me or Paul. I know you're not that type of person Dan, and I knew it then too, but still, I had never seen you close your door on me or anyone… I was afraid of how devastated I would have been if you did deny that I was pregnant with your kid. That maybe you would tell me that this was just another one of my schemes… I couldn't do it. I'm sorry Dan, I'm so sorry."
Dan exhales loudly. He takes Blair's hand in his.
"It wasn't easy for you to do what you did… I know. I know you were heartbroken, but so was I… I deserved to know, and I don't think I've ever felt more betrayed in my life when I read that letter, but all I can do is move past it, because you and Paul are here now and I'm grateful." Dan says squeezing her hand softly.
Blair looks at Dan gratefully. Dan reaches over and wipes a tear that has started to fall down her cheek.
She pulls away surprised and covers by pulling her hand out of his and rummaging through her purse.
"I know I have a Kleenex in here" she mumbles as she digs.
Dan turns his eyes away from her and watches Paul. Paul is throwing pieces of bread at Ducks and laughing gleefully.
"What was he like? As a baby?" Dan asks softly.
Blair looks up to him as she dabs her nose with a Kleenex.
"Awful!" Blair says as she starts to laugh. "He wouldn't sleep through the night and he screamed if I wasn't carrying him. I swear, I couldn't get any work done. Guillaume would try to put him to bed and he would scream and cry and carry on, he would only stop if I picked him up. The first 2 years, my life was high jacked by an infant. I remember once holding him and crying as he screamed. I blame that behavior on you, just so you know." Blair says.
Dan starts to chuckle, "Of course you do."
"As a toddler he got better. It was funny usually at the age of 2 parents are wishing they could turn back time, saying their baby is growing up too fast, blah blah blah " Blair says while rolling her eyes, "But I was so relieved. He was able to sleep through the night, he didn't need to be carried all the time and I could actually go out some times, oh it was divine!"
Dan smiles at her.
"Mom! Help me with the last loaf!" Paul exclaims. Blair looks up at him startled.
"But you're doing such a good job of it!" Blair replies.
"But if you're here to help me then we can get through with this quick and we can get food. I'm hungry" Paul replies.
Blair giggles as she gets up to help Paul.
Dan watches Blair walk away from him. He can't help but think heavily on what Blair told him.
He can't imagine life without Paul anymore and he's so thankful that Blair kept him.
He sighs and gets up to join Blair and Paul at the pond.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Blair scrunches her nose as a plate of pierogi's are brought to their table.
"Oh come on Blair, you should just try them." Dan says with a big grin.
"Yeah it's good!" Paul says through a mouthful.
Blair continues to sip her water. "Really Humphrey, the fact that I'm at Veselka should be enough for you. Why we couldn't just go to Cercle Rouge is beyond me." Blair turns her eyes at Dan and narrows them down to slits "Don't think I don't know that you're trying to undermine my years of good manners and breeding with our son."
Dan chokes on his pierogi as he starts to laugh, "Yes, you're right Waldorf, this is all a part of my grand scheme to make our son common, quel horreur!" Dan ends mockingly.
Paul looks between his parents uneasily.
"Your accent is terrible!" Blair snaps back.
"Nice comeback Waldorf" Dan says with his mouthful.
"Mom, try some." Paul says tentatively as he pushes a pierogi in front of her.
Blair looks at the offending item disdainfully. "No, you enjoy Paul, I'm not hungry."
"Please? It really is good." Paul asks again.
Blair looks at her son and sighs as she takes a bite.
Blair has to admit to herself that it's actually really good, of course she's not going to give Humphrey the satisfaction and so after her first bite she pushes the plate away.
"I'm really not that hungry" she says as she pushes her plate away.
Unfortunately her mutinous stomach decides that it's going to rumble as she finishes saying that which has Paul giggling.
Dan tries to hide his smile.
Blair tries to glare at them both but gives in and starts giggling too.
She sighs as she pulls the pierogi back towards her and starts to nibble on it.
"Just so you know Humphrey, I'm only doing this because I'm hungry, not because I think the food is wonderful, this is merely for sustenance." Blair says grinning.
"Of course Waldorf" Dan replies in between bites.
"Why do you guys call each other Waldorf and Humphrey?" Paul asks as he works on his pierogi.
Blair looks down at her son, "Well because that's our last names."
"I know, but no one elses parent's call themselves by their last names. Uncle Nate and Jenny call each other Nate, or Jenny, Grandpa Rufus calls Lily, Lil, and Grandma Eleanor and Cyrus call each other by their names…. Why do you guys call each other by your last names?"
"We just always have" Dan chimes in.
"So what am I?" Paul asks looking up at his parents.
Blair almost chokes on her food. "What do you mean? You're a Waldorf, you know that!"
"But I'm also a Humphrey. In fact a boy in my class told me that if you and Dad had done it the right way and gotten married then I would have my Dad's last name, but you guys didn't do it the right way and that's why I'm a bastard."
"Whoa!" Dan exclaims.
"Who told you that?" Blair asks ferociously.
"Just some kid in my class" Paul answers nonchalantly.
"Paul…. You're not a bastard…. You're anything but a bastard." Dan starts.
"Yes I am. I googled it after he told me. A person who's parents are not legally married" Paul says as he recites what he read off of google.
"You two were never married" Paul says as he points to his parents.
Blair looks down at her son, "Paul, that's an old word from an older time. People don't see things that way anymore, in fact no one who has any kind of class uses such language, now, who told you that?"
"Ryan Carlton told me, he said he heard his parents talk about it."
Blair clenches her teeth, "The Carltons huh?"
"Look, we did things differently, but that doesn't mean you're anything less than Ryan Carlton or any of the other kids you go to school with" Dan intercedes.
"Exactly right. Don't worry about what Ryan Carlton said, or what his parents said. You are just as legitimate as any kid you go to school with." Blair says through her teeth.
"Why don't you guys get married?" Paul asks.
Blair looks at Dan with wide eyes.
"Because… well… it's just…" Blair stammers.
Dan sighs, "It's complicated Paul. I don't expect you to understand, but know that we love you just the same as anybody else's parents who are together, I mean, we all live together, we're making this work."
"But you like each other now right?" Paul pushes.
Blair looks down at Paul, "Yes, we like each other now, but that's not enough… Married people love each other…. It's just, well like your dad says, it's complicated."
"So you don't love each other" Paul asks looking a bit hurt.
Blair looks over at Dan for help but Dan's just as speechless.
"Let's talk about this later, hmm? It's getting late and we need to get back home." Blair says trying to change the subject.
Paul looks away and begrudgingly nods his head. Unhappy that his mom has tried to change the subject on him.
They get a cab and ride back to the brownstone in silence. Blair can see in her periphery as Dan keeps looking over at her.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
After Blair has put Paul to bed she heads back downstairs. As she comes into the kitchen she can hear Dan on the phone finishing up his conversation.
"I know, I know. I just don't know if she will agree to it." Dan says quietly. "Yes, I promise I'll ask her. Love you too, talk to you this weekend" Dan says as he hangs up the phone.
He turns around and is startled to see Blair standing in the kitchen watching him.
"Who was that?" Blair asks as she walks over to the tea kettle to boil some water.
"My mom…. She wants Me, Paul, and you to go to Hudson for Halloween." Dan answers.
Blair freezes. "She wants me to come? If I remember correctly she wasn't too happy with me while we were dating and that last meeting we had was a disaster."
"Yeah well, you know how it goes, mother of her only grandson and all." Dan answers sheepishly.
Blair gets back to readying her kettle as she turns the burner on the stove on. "I really don't think that's a good idea Dan."
"I know, but she's trying Blair, she really is. She wants to be a part of Paul's life and well, you're a big part of his life, a big part…" Dan trails off.
"I'll think about it" Blair says as she turns on her heel and stares at him.
Dan decides to let it go for now, knowing that if he pushed a little more it will only end in a shouting match between Blair and himself.
Blair turns back on her heel and tries to reach for the tea. It's on the stop shelf of the cupboard and Dan can't help but think it's cute as he watches her stand on her tip toes, reaching her hand up and trying to jump a bit to grab the box of tea.
He comes up behind her and reaches up and grabs the box and hands it to her as she turns around.
He grins down at her, "You could have just asked for my help Waldorf."
Blair snatches the box of tea bags from him and moves to the side. "That's because I didn't need it Dan! I've been able to make tea in this house without your help so your concern is not needed. And it's Blair, Dan, not Waldorf." Blair retorts.
"Are you really worried about what Paul said today?" Dan says frowning.
Blair sighs, "It's stupid I know. I know that as far as class and money goes I am above the Carltons but I can't help it when I'm hurt that my son is calling himself a bastard… So let's not confuse him anymore with the last names, we are obviously not getting married and lets just try to make this as normal as possible for him, I'm Blair and you're Dan, we just need to remember that"
Dan looks down while he scratches the back of his neck.
"You really shouldn't let them affect you, you know."
"I don't, but when it affects my son, then it's a different story." Blair says as the kettle starts to whistle.
She reaches over to grab it and in her hurry manages to get her arm over the steam and burns herself.
"Shit!" Blair yelps as she jumps back grabbing her forearm. "FUCK! Dammnit!"
"Jesus Christ Blair! Are you okay?" Dan exclaims as he grabs her arm and looks it over.
"Yeah, just a little burn, fuck! God it hurts!" Blair winces as Dan starts to blow on her arm.
Dan turns on the cold water to the kitchen sink and runs the water over her arm.
He pulls it out and starts to blow on it again.
Blair suddenly becomes aware of a shiver creeping up her spine. She pulls her arm away.
"It's fine Humphrey" she mumbles.
"Dan" he replies, "Remember? You want us to start using our first names right?"
"Oh shove it HUMPHREY!" Blair snarls back.
"Hey it's your rule not mine!" Dan says as he puts his hands up. "I think my dad has some Aloe he started on in the garden out in the back, help me find it."
"Dan! I wouldn't even know what an Aloe plant looks like, let alone know how to feel around for it in the dark out there." Blair replies incredulously. "Just go down to the nearest pharmacy and get me some Aloe Vera gel."
"Why would I go down to the pharmacy when there is a perfectly good plant out there? Just wait here and I'll go out there."
Before Blair can reply he's rummaging in the junk drawer for a flashlight. He heads out the door as he looks around outside.
20 minutes later he comes in triumphantly wielding two stalks of the Aloe Vera plant Rufus had planted in their backyard.
"Really Humphrey? You could have been at the Pharmacy and back 10 minutes ago" Blair mutters.
"Nothing compares to the real thing Waldorf, and it's Dan, remember?" Dan says as he starts to spread the cool gel of the plant onto her burn.
He starts to blow on her arm again and this time Blair can't stop the shiver that creeps up her spine, or the fact that her body responds to it. She feels her nipples tighten and she's thankful that she's wearing a padded bra or else Dan would be able to see, and that would be mortifying.
Dan must notice the shiver because he looks up at her.
Blair finds herself unable to breath. It's like he's holding her captive with his gaze.
He continues to blow on her arm but this time he keeps staring at her. Finally she's able to gather herself and pulls her arm out of his grasp.
She clears her throat, "Thanks Dan" She says shakily, "It feels a bit better now… I think I'm going to go to bed."
With that she retreats up the stairs and runs into her room. After she closes her door she presses a hand to her heart. It's racing.
She's not sure why she's responding this way. She shakes her head and tells herself it's nothing, she's just shaky from what Paul had told them today and the burn on her forearm.
She looks down at her arm and lightly traces the outline of her burn. She smiles a little and then goes to bed and stares up at the ceiling.
Downstairs Dan cleans up the kitchen confused. Confused about what just happened and how he feels.
He goes to bed that night and isn't surprised that Blair doesn't come into the room. He doesn't fall asleep till 4 AM.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Blair stares out the train window that is taking her up to Hudson. She's not sure how Dan was able to talk her into this and at this moment, she wishes she was doing anything other than going up to Hudson to spend a night at Dan Humphrey's mother's house.
Allison Humphrey… Blair sighs as she thinks back to their last meeting. It was at the hospital. Blair had gone to the hospital the day after Georgina had disastrously told everyone about Blair's involvement. She walked into the room with a bouquet of Hydrangeas, remembering that Jenny had once said they were nice. Unfortunately Jenny was still unconscious and Allison was sitting there holding her hand. She looked over at Blair and asked her in a very quiet and bitter voice, "Blair! Did you come here to see what you've done to Jenny?"
Blair left the bouquet on the bedside table, whispered an apology and fled the hospital.
Yeah Blair is terrified of seeing this woman again.
When they get to the train station in Hudson Blair has to take a deep breath to get off the train. Dan must notice because he squeezes her shoulder.
Allison recognizes Dan and runs up to him and embraces him in a hug.
Blair watches her and admits that Allison is a very attractive woman. Different from Lily. She's a little more at ease and has an air of indifference about her looks, even though she's clearly gorgeous. Whereas Lilly is always aware of how she looks.
Paul, having already spent a weekend up in Hudson with Jenny, runs up to Allison and hugs her.
Blair watches as a huge smile grows on Allison's face and she kisses the top of Paul's head. "Just as handsome as his daddy" she exclaims.
Finally her eyes fall on Blair and her smile wavers.
"Blair…." Allison starts.
Dan turns around to watch the exchange between them.
"So glad you could make it." Allison says in the most civil tone she can manage.
Blair gives her a tight smile, "Yes well, I managed to make some time, and it's important to Paul, what wouldn't a mother do for her child."
Allison gives her a curt nod and then turns her attention back to Dan and Paul.
"C'mon guys! Let's get you to the house quick. There's going to be a lot of trick or treaters coming by tonight."
Blair jumps into the backseat with Paul as Dan and his mom talk about what's been going on in their lives. She looks out the window glumly and wonders why Allison even bothered to invite her here if she was going to treat her coldly.
Paul grabs her hand in the car and Blair looks down at it. She smiles at her son and resolves herself to get through the night.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
They pull up to a townhome. Blair looks at it, surprised at how tasteful it looks.
She follows behind Dan as they go into the house. The house is exactly how Blair expects it to be. Shabby chic with lots of her artwork hanging on the walls. It's not Blair's style, but it's tastefully done and Blair can't find much criticism.
"Dan, you'll be staying in Jenny's old room, Blair and Paul will sleep in the guest bedroom. Why don't you show her to her room." Allison says.
Dan takes Blair's weekend bag and takes her upstairs. The guest bedroom is small with two twin sized beds. Dan puts her bag down on one of them.
Blair looks around the room, she finally turns to Dan and utters one word, "Quaint."
Dan snorts, "Wow, I was expecting worse Waldorf."
Blair opens her mouth to respond but Dan cuts her off.
"Remember Blair, this is about Paul, not you, not me, or Allison. Let's try to be nice okay?" Dan says as he walks out of the room leaving her flustered.
Blair heads downstairs and Paul comes up to her holding an orange bowl full of candies.
"Look mom! These are for the trick or treaters. Allison says they should be coming by any minute now"
The doorbell rings just as Paul finishes that sentence.
Blair and Paul walk up to the door, but just as they are about to open it, Allison comes through and edges Blair out of the way. Blair glares as she watches Allison and Paul open the door and pass out candy to the children dressed up.
Dan watches the whole thing and when Blair turns her face to him she can see the frown that's already on his face.
Blair sighs and puts a smile back on when Paul turns back to her.
"Did you see them? All the costumes? Why didn't we ever do Halloween mom?"
Blair's about to reply when Allison cuts her off, "Oh Paul, you can't hold that against your mom. Halloween is not what the elite celebrate, they see it as a plebian holiday."
Blair can't help but notice the biting tone.
She wants to respond to Allison but doesn't because she doesn't want to ruin this for Paul. She just smiles at Paul, "Well, we can try next year in New York City if you want."
"Nah, I like Hudson."
Blair inwardly groans as a triumphant smile spreads across Allison's face.
The doorbell rings again and Blair takes her opportunity to retreat to the kitchen and open the bottle of red wine she brought.
Dan finds her as she struggles with the cork.
"Don't tell me you've never opened a bottle of wine before."
Blair looks up at him annoyed, "Don't talk to me unless you're going to help me" she grunts.
Dan takes the bottle of wine from Blair's hands and starts to open the bottle.
Blair clears her throat, "I've never had to, so you can't really hold this against me. Anytime I had a glass of wine it was served to me."
Dan looks over to her and smiles, "I know." Dan gets a glass and pours a wine for her. "And here you are Madame" he says with the most pretentious voice he can muster.
Blair snatches the glass from his hands. She doesn't thank him, but he wasn't expecting it.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
They all have dinner together and after it's done and Dan has helped Allison clean up, he takes Paul upstairs for a bath. Blair decides to finish her glass of wine and explores the living room. She stops as she comes across a table filled with photos of Jenny and Dan as children.
She's looking over them when Allison comes up behind her.
"Funny isn't it?"
Blair turns around and sees as Allison looks on at the photo that Blair was just looking at of Jenny and Dan.
"I'm sorry?" Blair asks confused.
"I said its funny isn't it? You worked so hard to destroy the people in this family and now you're a part of this family. The universe is an odd place where someone like you can be the mother of someone as great as Paul." Allison says in a voice devoid of any emotion.
"Allison… I.." Blair starts.
"I don't want to hear it Blair." Allison interrupts her, "You're a part of this family and I have to accept it now. I may not like it, and I may never like it, but you are Paul's mother" Allison says again in that same emotionless voice.
Blair scoffs, "I don't believe this. Why did you want me to come up here? Just to make me feel awful? To remind me of what a terrible person I was before? To hold it over my head? And you say us Upper East Siders are bad!"
"I've never done anything close to the shit you've pulled Blair" Allison says with venom.
"So why bring me here? Why invite someone you hate so much into your house?"
Allison smirks at her, "Of course, because this has to be about you doesn't it Blair?"
"It does when you make it about me. I was just as happy to let Dan and Paul have a nice night out in Hudson without me. I could go back to my penthouse as you all shared a nice 'plebian holiday'. But you asked Dan to bring me here." Blair retorts.
Allison looks on at her, "Because I wanted to try for Paul. Last time he was here he asked me if I hated you and it killed me to smile at him and say 'no', because the truth is, I do hate you. I love Paul, but what you did to Jenny and how devastated you left Dan… I can't help the way I feel Blair."
Blair looks on at her stunned. While she knew that Allison hated her having Allison tell her was another thing.
Blair swallows hard and tries to keep her voice from trembling, "You shouldn't lie to him, he's smart and he'll figure it out and resent you for it."
Allison sighs and crosses her arms, "I can be civil to you in front of my grandson, and I will, because I love him. I know you do too and you will be civil to me. That's all."
Blair goes back into the kitchen and sets her glass down in the sink.
As she heads upstairs she looks down and sees Allison still at the table of photos, fingering a photo of Jenny and Dan.
She reaches her room as Dan is getting ready to tuck Paul in.
"Let me do that" Blair snaps.
Dan looks at her startled and Paul looks at his mom worried, "Mom? Are you okay?"
Blair composes herself and steadies her voice. She plasters a smile on her face and looks at her son, "Yes, I'm sorry Paul, I'm just tired."
After she puts Paul to bed she looks at Dan who has not left the room. He cocks his head towards the door and she follows him outside.
"What's going on? Did my mother say anything to upset you?"
"Nothing I can't handle Humphrey, just don't worry about it. I'm tired, what time does our train leave tomorrow?" Blair asks.
Dan looks at her unsure, finally he answers, "It leaves at 11 AM."
"Okay, I will make sure we are both ready to leave by 9 AM. Goodnight Dan." Blair says as she shuts the door.
She crawls into bed as she hears Dan making his way downstairs.
Paul falls asleep before Dan starts talking to his mom, something that Blair is grateful for because the heating ducts in this house carries their conversation to the vent near Blair's bed.
"Why would you say that to her? She's done wrong but she's trying to make up for it." Dan asks quietly.
"Why wouldn't I? I don't like her. I don't like you living with her. I understand why you do, but I hate it Dan, I'm only being honest." Allison replies.
"Christ mom! Then why insist I bring her up here? I'm not going to have you making her feel bad about her past. She's Paul's mother, you have to respect that." Dan replies.
"Listen Dan, I'm worried for you. I can't help it. I don't want you falling in love with her again. You know how those Upper East Siders are! You don't belong in their world, you never have. Look at what they did to your sister! What SHE did to your sister! I don't want you to fall in love with her again and have her break her heart or she gets sick again and this time…" Allison doesn't finish.
"You don't have to worry about that mom. That isn't going to happen. Me and Blair living together is about doing what's best for Paul, not about Blair and I falling back in love with each other." Dan sternly assures his mom.
Blair closes her eyes and decides she doesn't want to listen anymore. She turns her face away from the vent and tries to stop the growing pit in her stomach that started when Dan assured his mom that he wouldn't be falling in love with Blair again.
Blair spends the rest of the night awake, willing morning to come quickly.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Okay so there's the next chapter. I'm just trying to get Blair and Dan closer together, but I don't want to force it either. I know, I know, it's been 16 chapters, when will they get together? I'm hoping soon, because honestly, I'm just as excited.
Someone asked me in a review earlier about why this was rated M. Well because I thought I might write some SMUT in here and I still believe I might. I dunno, I'm not sure. I did write a flashback scene that was a bit Smutty, but then I deleted it because I thought it was kind of lame. I will try once again, but really, who knows how successful I will be. Even that one sentence I wrote about Blair's response to Dan blowing on her arm was awkward for me to write.
Having sex and writing about it are two totally different things so I may just never write anything Smutty and change the rating to T rather than M.
Like I said, we will see.
Anyhow, I hope you like it. Thanks for waiting patiently for this . I had wanted to get this out sooner, but as I said before, none of these chapters are done and I'm just writing them as I go, trying to hit the points I've already written out that I want to be a part of this story.
As always, thank you dearly for reading and for reviewing. It really pushes me to write.
Oh and I promise we will have angst again, but for now, the next couple of chapters are going to be a little lighter…
Thanks again!