Hey Guys! It's me, Tara! It's been much too long since I have last updated. Yes, I know, but seriously gaiz, it is summer vacation! I just got caught in the moment! Anyways, I was looking through my previous chapters and noticed some…grammatical errors. I need a beta reader really badly. xD
But anyways, here's the next chapter of Men in Black: Dattebayo! ;D
P.S: Special Thanks to a few very special readers at the end!
~~Good morning Kakashi-sensei~~
~~At the Uchiha Mansion~~
Sasuke grumbled as he rolled over in bed. He rubbed his nose into his pillow contentedly and sighed as the sun tried to peak through his curtains. He was never much of a morning person; he just wanted to sleep until he felt like getting up. But Itachi would have none of that. Ever since his parents died in that freak hot air balloon accident (it's a lot sadder than it sounds..) Itachi has been striving to raise Sasuke as a successful man and to keep his beloved little brother out of trouble. There was literally nothing Itachi wouldn'tdo for Sasuke.. as long as it didn't involve sexual contact with a guy or even hanging out with a gay guy. Itachi had a bad experience with one when he was in middle school. It wasn't pretty… for the gay guy.
And there was nothing Sasuke wouldn't do for Itachi, with the same exceptions as his older brother. (They were very much alike). So Sasuke decided to surprise his older brother by getting up early and making breakfast himself. He rolled lazily out of bed and went to take a shower. He looked at the clock above his mirror/medicine cabinet as he turned on the shower to warm up the water. Freaking 5:00 in the morning…
He took a quick shower knowing his brother always woke up at 5:30..always..(A/N: NO ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK FOR YOU TODAY ;D).
After stepping out the shower and drying himself and his hair, he reached into his medicine cabinet and pulled out a syringe of baby blue gel like stuff (A/N: Hell, I dunno what it is! You expect me to know everything? D8) and quickly stick it into the purple vein in his wrist. The vein slowly turned from purple to the normal teal like color as he pushed the end of the syringe down, emptying the gel into his blood stream. He sighed in content and tossed the syringe away before departing the bathroom.
He slowly tiptoed past the cherry wood door of his brother's bedroom, but thenn decided to look in and see if he was still asleep. He quietly twisted the crystal doorknob and pushed the door open just enough to look inside. Itachi was sleeping on his back with his arms crossed over his stomach. He looked a lot like a vampire or something of that nature. Sasuke gently closed the door and continued to tiptoe down the hall and down the stairs.
"Alright… Now how am I supposed to do this.." Sasuke mused as his pulled on his brother's favorite apron. It said (in saucy pink letters) "Baby you know you want this beef steak!" and below it a smiley with a moustache winking and holding up a steak on a grill fork. Sasuke honestly found the apron amusing, and Itachi must too because he wore it nearly every day. He even wore it to bed sometimes.
He mumbled to himself as he rummaged through the cabinets. They were stocked with food, but Sasuke had no idea what to do with them. He checked the kitchen clock, which was stuck on the side of a ceramic rooster. (Itachi thought it was 'southern and homey' but Sasuke found it just weird. Itachi had always wanted to go to the southern states of North America.. Maybe Sasuke should schedule a trip there for Itachi's birthday..) It was 5:17 a.m.
"Gah.. well it can't be too hard to make pancakes.." he mused as he pulled down a box of pancake mix. Oh no, Sasuke don't do it!
~~At the Uzumaki Mansion~~
"GOOD MORNING GORGEOUS SISTER THAT I LOOOOOOOOOVE." Naruto initiated the school day as usual; by nearly blasting his baby sister's door off of its hinges.
"Murp." The pink fluff simply rolled over in bed. Naruto raised an eyebrow at her and crossed his eyes over his chest. Unhappy about her not wanting to get up for school, he decided to be a responsible brother and flung himself into the bed with her, effectively making the mattress spring up. With a squeal of surprise, Sakura was flung out of the bed and onto the floor by the momentum of her brother's bed body slam.
"Aw what? Naruto, you tossed me out of bed!" Sakura rubbed her sore butt as she bent her legs to sit on her knees. Naruto was busy wrestling with the blankets he had tangled himself up in (idiot…) and responded,
"Well, thanks for –huff- pointing out the obvi-huffhuff-ous, SakuBuns." He was currently rolling around in the sheets like a complete moron, trying to free himself from the sheets. Sakura walked up to her bed and yanked on the sheets a good time, sending Naruto spinning out of the sheets and onto the floor himself.
"AGH. Ow…." Sakura laughed at him and sauntered into her bathroom to take a shower, while Naruto rolled on the floor in agony. He didn't know how Sakura survived him tossing her on the floor.
"Naruto! Go start breakfast you big baby! It's already like 5:15 a.m.! We're gonna miss the bus!" Sakura howled from behind the bathroom door.
Naruto rubbed the back of his neck and pouted. "I still don't see why we have to ride the stupid nasty bus…" He grumbled to himself as he shuffled out of Sakura's bedroom and down the stairs into the kitchen. He made it and began groping through the cabinets for his industrial sized packs of ramen. He hummed to himself as he looked at the clock between the two kitchen windows.
"Hmm.. 5:30 a.m. huh? We're up pretty early this morning!" He then noticed something coming from down the street.
"Whoa! Is that smoke coming from the Uchi-bastards' house?" He nearly dropped his ramen as he heard a blood curdling scream come from the same direction. In a panic he screamed upstairs "SAKURA WAKE UP! THE UCHIHA MANSION IS ON FIRE!"
"WHAT?" Sakura was shaking him now, "ARE YOU LYING TO ME, NARUTO- BASTARD?"
"Whoa, Sakura. How'd you get down here so quickly..?"
"NARUTO!"
"I'm not lying! Look out the window!" She turned her head and looked out the window. There was indeed black smoke coming from the windows and the telltale screeches of Itachi wafting through the breeze.
"OH GOD NARUTO, WE HAVE TO GET OVER THERE AND GET MY BAB- I MEAN SASUKE AND ITACHI OUT OF THERE!" She was about to shoot out the door when Naruto caught her arm.
"Oh no You don't!" He said sternly. She looked blankly at him and then screeched at him,
"Naruto this isn't funny! Lemme go!" she tried to yank her arm away, but Naruto has really been working out..
"NOT IN THAT YOU'RE NOT!" He pointed an accusing finger at her, and she realized that she was still in a bath towel. "Now you march upstairs and put on some clothes and meet me at the Uchi-bastards' house! Verstandlich?" Sakura was admittably impressed with his use of German and trudged upstairs to get dressed while Naruto casually walked down the street.
~~At the Uchiha Mansion~~
"OH SWEET MOTHER, SASUKE WHAT DID YOU DO?" Itachi has woken up and ,noticing his brother wasn't in bed for some reason, has come to look for Sasuke, but ended up finding their stove on fire.
"Oh nothing, Onii, I have everything under control!" Sasuke said as he repeatedly swatted at some sort of purple polka dot meat monster that was trying to crawl out the oven with his dish towel.
"It sure as hell doesn't look like nothing! What the hell are you thinking? I haven't taught you how to cook yet, idiot!" Itachi grabbed a skillet that was hanging on the wall and began franticly hitting at the meat monster as well.
"WELL EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO BE NICE AND COOK YOU SOME BREAKFAST, ONII-SAN!" Sasuke said as he struggled to keep the monster's meat tentacles from wrapping around his legs.
Itachi paused for a second. "You wanted…to cook..for me..?" He was almost about to tear up until the meat monster ruined the moment by snatching Itachi's skillet away and whacking him a couple times in the throat and stomach with it, until Itachi grabbed it back and stuck the handle into..what he figured was the meat monster's brain.
It obviously was because the creature squealed and flailed it tentacles once more before rolling back into the oven with a greasy Spurlklt Splurk noise. However, there was still the fire that was slowly consuming the oven to think about.
Itachi went under the counter and grabbed at the fire extinguisher. When he turned around he bumped into Naruto, who was just standing there like nothing was even happening.
"Naruto? What are you doing here?"
"My sister wanted me to come help you guys," he said taking Itachi's extinguisher. "I mean, I've dealt with kitchen fires many times. I know what to do." He casually put the fire out, effectively coating Sasuke with foam, as he was standing in front of the oven.
Dripping foam, Sasuke turned. "Naruto…you fucking idiot." Naruto just grinned at him.
FLOMP!
"Oh God, Saucy Cakes are you okay? Oh I was so worried I blah blah blah bl-" Sasuke laid on his back while a worried sick Sakura sat on his chest surveying every inch of him to ensure he wasn't hurt in anyway. Sasuke just laid there and let her babble on about how she had seen the smoke and "would've been here sooner but stupid Naruto and my towel.." until Naruto came and lifted her off of Sasuke and onto his back.
"It's already like six o'clock. We should be heading back for breakfast. Sasuke, do us all a favor: leave the cooking to Itachi." Naruto said, leaning his head towards the offending evidence that Sasuke had tried to cook: "You know you want some of this beef steak".
~~On the busride to Konoha High~~
Sakura and her friends were happily babbling away about nothing as the yellow bus rattled down the road. Shikamaru was knocked out on the very last seat of the bus, and Ino was on his lap, causing all the girls to have to move to the back to keep the blonde in the loop. You don't want to know what happened last time Ino was left out the loop.. or do you?
Naruto was making fun of Sasuke's futile attempts to cook for his brother with the rest of the boys on the basketball team. The team included Hyuuga Neji, Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi, Rock Lee, Akimichi Choji (Hey! He lost a lot of weight over the last basketball season!), Subaku Gaara and Kankuro, and the male Akatsuki (a group of seniors that no one knows the last names of.. except Konan, the only girl.). They were all laughing at Sasuke's failure while he and Itachi sat on the same seat trying to avoid clobbering them.
It was strange, really. They had never sat together. Not since elementary. (A/N: I think it's because Itachi was flattered that his little brother cared enough to get out of bed early to destroy the kitchen just to make him happy.) Naruto spread around a rumor that Itachi was just being overprotective and didn't want anyone to bother his "sweet wittle bwother".
Sasuke, however, was trying to explain the whole morning to his Mother Planet. His sharingan was activated, making everyone think he was fuming mad, but he was actually just communicating with her.
==Come in, Mother Planet. Mother Planet, do you read?==
Yes child. Tell me now, what happened this morning?
==I tried to cook for dear brother.. It didn't work out so well..
==Obviously not, child. Your brother hasn't taught you to cook like a champion yet, so why do you insist on trying to do things on your own?
==I just wanted to surprise him, Mother.
==You're becoming more and more like a human each day! Speed up your courting before you turn completely into one of them.
==Yes, Mother..
==And what's this about your brother's favorite apron? It is much too suggestive!
==And that is the reason he loves it so much, Mother.
==Sigh.. Nevermind. Where is the girl?
Sasuke quietly turned his head to look back at Sakura.
==Transmitting..==
==Ah, she's still as pretty as I remember..
==Mother, if you do not like humans so much, why do you let me court this one?
==Our species is a dying one, Garbolt. Humans are the only species left in the universe that we could possibly attempt to mate with. I don't want to have this conversation again. Good luck, my son.
==Thank you mother. Ending transmition==
Sasuke sighed. He was truly glad that he really did like Sakura enough to court her.
~~Homeroom~~
"Oi, Sakura! Where's the teach? It's already like ten o'clock! Homeroom ends in ten minutes." Narutosaid as he leaned his chair on it's back two legs. He was smacking on some purple gum and flinging paper footballs into a sleeping Shikamaru's head as Ino found picking the paper out a reason to play in his hair. Win/ Win right? Naruto isn't as bored as he was and Ino gets to grope Shika's scalp.
"I dunno Naruto. Just entertain yourself.." her nose was in a book, and the younger Uchiha beside he was flipping through a motorcycle magazine.
"Mmkay." He flung one of he paper footballs at her forehead and it bounced off of the center of it and into her book. (A/N: You thought I was gonna say bra? Pervs.)
"Agh, Naruto! Not at me!" she huffed and laid her book down to nap on it. She had just entered a deep sleep when a silver haired man casually walked into the doorway. He surveyed the room: Rock Lee and Kankuro were wrestling in the back. Neji and TenTen were making out. Gaara was playing poker with Temari, Hinata was napping on Naruto's shoulder while he flung paper into Shikamaru's hair. Ino was…being Ino. Sasuke was reading a magaizine, a bunch of random teens were having a dance party, and Shikamaru was out cold, and Sakura was drooling all over a copy of "The Count of Monte Cristo". Normal day.
He strolled in front of his desk and cleared his throat, effectively putting every person in his or her desk, except Sakura who was still drooling on her book. Sasuke was just watching her with an amused look.
"Well hi, guys! Sorry I'm late. I ran into this lady, right? Well she had this chicken and she needed help getting it-"
"AW WHATEVER, KAKASHI. We're not freshman anymore!" Naruto paused in his rant to blow a bubble with his gum before popping it and continuing, "We all know you slept in late. We have a tape from last year to prove that's all you do every morning." The class grumbled in agreement.
Kakashi stared for a moment and started, "Well ,since you're all such smart asses, you can take these pop quizzes with you! Except you Sakura. You're knocked out, which I appreciated. One less mouth to listen to."
The class groaned and Sakura just snored.
Oh God, another transmission! Why is Sasuke so horrible at cooking? Since when do stores sell industrial sized ramen? Why is Ino such a perv to Shikamaru? What's up with Itachi and his apron? AGAIN, WHY AM I ASKING YOU, DEAR READER, ALL THESE QUESTIONS? Stay tuned to find out!
Well, that's chapter four! I made it extra long just for you! Yes, you, lovey dove. (its over 2,000 words!) Anyways, R&R as usual. I also want to thank Ladyrouge214 for putting me in her community, BellsOnMyToes, crowlady, LadyMartel4000, Pink Lady410, and .Alice.x3 for putting me on story alert, and fangirl10045, and professionalVamp for favoriting me! Thanks for all the support!